..Continued

Chapter eight.

Mulan just looked at him. She had a bad feeling about this. Shang wasn't blushing, like the last time he told her he needed to tell her something. He looked sick- only, worse than he had looked when he told her of his nightmare.

"Mulan, I told you once that I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to you.." he looked at her as she sat next to him, and then back at the ground. She put her arm around his shoulders to comfort him, but he shook it off. She looked at his profile.. tears were beginning to form in his strong, black, hawklike eyes. He leaned forward, his elbows propping himself up on his knees. His head remained bowed towards the ground.

"I thought that maybe I could protect you- but I ended up hurting you, instead of Shan-Yu."

"What? Shang, you don’t know what you're talking about. You saved me." Shang shook his head. A tear slid down his strong cheek. He wiped it away with his left hand.

"You don’t understand." He sat up and looked at her. His eyes reflected so much pain. He brushed away the hair from Mulan's face with his right hand to reveal the patch of gauze on the left side of her neck. "I gave you this," he said, lightly touching her skin around the patch.

"No, you didn’t. I'm sure of it." Mulan assured him. He shook his head again.

"Come." He said strongly. He stood up, and began to walk to the stable. Mulan followed him. They entered the stable where Shan-Yu's body still lay. Shang stepped over the dead Hun nearby, and knelt near Shan-Yu's lifeless body. "Look." Shang pointed to the piece of cloth that had been torn from Mulan's collar the night before. It caught Mulan off guard, but she quickly began..

"That means nothing. Shang, please.. listen to me…"

"Mulan, don’t you understand? It wasn’t Shan-Yu, but I who pierced your throat. If I can do something like that to you, then I am not worthy of your trust. How can I be sure that something like this won't happen again? If I keep close to you, sooner or later, it may be me who is responsible for the death of Mulan." Mulan looked at him strangely, her eyebrows and forehead asking if this was truly happening. Shang turned and walked to his horse. All was quiet as he saddled him up. He led the horse outside, and then mounted him.

"Shang- you didn’t do it! Trust ME. " Mulan addressed him, holding his horse's reigns just below its chin. Shang looked at her with such love and passion and sadness that even Mulan was overwhelmed by his gaze. She turned her head downward. "Listen-" she said, beginning to look up at Shang. He looked sadly away from Mulan, and shook the reigns once to relieve them from her hand. He turned his horse, and headed off at a walking pace towards his home, not heeding Mulan's pleas for him to stop and come back.

'Not heeding' does not mean 'not listening to'. He heard every word, and stored them up as the precious last words spoken to him from the woman he loved, but could never see again. When he was nearly out of sight of the Fa house, he turned his horse to get one last glimpse. Mulan had long since stopped yelling at him. She must have realized it was useless. She was still standing there, looking after him, hoping upon hope that he would return. Tears welled up in his eyes, but none fell. He turned towards his home once more, and galloped away.

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