I don't think John Lennon was really murdered. I think that is just a big conspiracy cover-up. I think he got AIDS from Ringo Starr and died that way. 'Murdered' sounds better than 'Fagged out with Ringo'. I also see Ringo Starr as an STD Menu, whatever disease you want, he will give it to you. Doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl.
August 1998
If you make a cow laugh, does milk come out its nose? If 7-11 is open 24hrs a day, 7 days a week, why are there locks on the doors? Why do people turn down the car radio when looking for a house address?
September 1998
Rules and Regulations for BEDROOM GOLF
1. Must have own equipment: 1 club, 2 balls. 2. Unlike regular golf, you must get club in hole, keep balls out. 3. Must have firm shaft. May check stiffness of shaft before play. 4. Course owner reserves the right to restrict shaft length so no damage is done to course. 5. Players are cautioned to play the correct hole as indicated by the course owner. 6. Don't say other courses played or equipment may be damaged.
October 1998
I think Jean-Claude Van Damme should make a movie where he is a cop in L.A. or someplace and Martial Law is declaired. That'd be cool. If it happens, I want credit!!
