A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asks, "Johnnie!  What is your problem?!"

Johnnie says, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister's in
the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in
the third grade!" 

The teacher had had enough. As a result, she took Johnnie to the
principal's office and explained Johnnie's request. While Johnnie waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation to the principal.  The principal told Johnnie's teacher that he would give the boy a test and if Johnnie failed to answer any of the special questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave.

The teacher agreed. Johnnie was brought into the room.  The principal  told Johnnie his terms and Johnnie agreed.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnnie: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Johnnie: "36"
Principal: "What is 9 x 9?"
Johnnie: "81"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know.   Johnnie appeared to have a strong case.  The principal looked at the teacher and told her, "I think Johnnie can go on to the third grade."

The teacher, knowing Little Johnnie's tendency toward sexual wisecracks, said to the principal, "Let *me* ask him some questions before we make that decision?"

The principal and Johnnie both agreed, Johnnie with a sly look on his face.

The teacher began by asking, "What does a cow have 4 of that I
have only 2 of?"

Johnnie: "Legs."Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal's eyes open wide! Before he could stop Johnnie 's
expected answer, Johnnie said, "Pockets."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,
"I think we should put Johnnie in the fifth grade.  I missed the
last two questions myself!"