Be a part of the action in the pulsing, throbbing political scene of the hottest city in the world!
	Get up close and personal with some of America's movers and shakers!
	See rooms in the White House that even a VIP tour won't show you!
	Get total access to plenty of sensitive Presidential activities!

Sound like it's for you? Just listen to this testimonial from a former intern: "I couldn't believe it! After only a few months on the job answeringphones and fetching coffee, there I was, debriefing the president.
Getting involved in executive branch affairs is just fantastic."

- M. Lewinsky, Beverly Hills, Calif.

As you can see, being a White House intern is more than long hours, hot

debates and touchy national issues.

Still interested? Fill out this information form and send it back to the

White House.

Name:

Hometown:

Sex: F__ Age:

Measurements: (required for medical purposes)

How many beers it takes to get you...

...Giggly:

...Drunk:

...Hot:

...To lie to a federal prosecutor:

Quick quiz:

You've always considered the White House:

a) a monument to democracy

b) the place where great leaders meet

c) vaguely erotic

d) extremely erotic

Hillary Clinton is a(n):

a) model wife and mother

b) icon of late 20th century femininity

c) an obstacle

d) inappropriate companion for the leader of the free world

You've always wanted to know more about the President's:

a) Israeli policies

b) childhood in Hope, Ark.

c) romper room

d) "monument to democracy"

My social life as an intern would likely consist of:

a) hitting Georgetown bars with the other interns

b) reading, study

c) late nights working at the White House

d) late nights working the White House

Score 1 point for each a, 2 for each b, 3 for each c, 4 for each d.

Scores of 16 can start tomorrow. Scores of 12 and above, please call

soon.

Uncle Sam wants you.

*Please feel free to forward this form to anyone you know who might be

interested in this program. The White House is an equal opportunity

employer.

"How do you know?" the friend asked.

"She didn't come home last night and when I asked her where she'd been, she said she had spent the night with her sister, Shirley."

"So?"

"So she's a liar. I spent the night with her sister, Shirley."

Who Should Pay On A Date?

If men ruled the world, they'd probably have sex every day.
maybe even 2 or 3 times a day. Therefore, we can safely conclude
that MEN DON'T RULE THE WORLD!

To all the women out there:

Let's say a guy asks you out. Stop and think about your comparative
economic situations. The odds are, he makes more money than you do.
Guys don't generally date "up", and even if professionally you're at
the same level, he's getting paid more money for doing the exact same
job. So he can afford to pay for you. (Frankly, if you're hoping to
marry and have children with this man, he's making enough money to
support a family when you have to take a maternity leave and raise his
offspring.)

But, in case you need more justification, read on:
Now, for him to ask you out, think about how you looked when he saw
you. Your haircut? It cost more than his. Your clothes? Not only
are they more expensive, but women's fashions change more rapidly
than men's, so you've spent far more money getting dressed. And when
you take it to the dry cleaners, or the laundry, they charge you more,
even though there's less fabric. Even if every line item in your
wardrobe was identical, think about the two items that you have that
he doesn't: that bra (and probably not a cheap one,you were wearing
-- the Wonderbra, or he wouldn't have bothered in the first place)
and pantyhose. Expensive, and they run. Oh, did I mention cosmetics?
So, it's cost you a lot more money, just to get to the point where he's
inclined to ask you out. And HE asked YOU out. In business, if someone
asks you to lunch, they're paying, right? You don't even think about
this, do you? Okay, then!

So, he comes to pick you up. That apartment of yours? Because you're
a woman, you have to think about living in a safe (read: more expensive)
neighborhood. You insist on an "upper" apartment, which is at least $10
more a month. How about the pepper spray in your purse, or the cell
phone for emergencies?

How many guys have that stuff to defend themselves from those
marauding bands of female rapists and muggers? How about all the
times you've valet parked because you don't want to walk a block or
two in THAT neighborhood? If you live in New York, all the times
you've taken a cab home instead of the subway because it's not safe
for a woman to be out at that hour?
You go out, you let him pay.
It goes well, (because even if they bitch and moan about it, paying
does make them feel like a man) he keeps asking you out. So, why not
reach for the wallet now?
Are you planning to have sex with him?
So, that annual check-up you get just to make sure that all the parts
are working properly? Unless your gynecologist knows the insurance
scam,that's at least $100 a year that's not covered. And then, there's
the birth control issue. Okay, at first, maybe for awhile, you're using
condoms. He might even be paying for some of those, at pennies a pop.
But we've done the math. We know what the failure rates are there. So
even if Trojan Man is paying a visit, we're probably employing a backup
method. You read Cosmo. You know.

Everything is expensive and laden with hideous, probably not entirely
known, side effects. The only inexpensive, side-effect-free method of
birth control is the word NO. Which doesn't always work, and that's
expensive and really shitty if it fails.

So there you have it. He asked you to dinner, he picked the restaurant,
let him pick up the tab. Be a charming companion - you know the
expression "dining out on that story..." If you want to do something
nice for him, make him dinner once in awhile. Buy really nice lingerie.
Stock up on his favorite brand of condom. Pay for your half of the
vacation. But never, ever, pay for the date. No amount of sushi at
Matsuhisa can possibly compensate for what it cost you to get your butt
in that chair.

I'm all for equality, and letting a guy buy you dinner once in a while
is a very fair way to even out the financial (and psychic) costs of
being an attractive female that men want to buy dinner for.