Inner Voices
by Suisan



Every day, or as often as I can
Without complaint I'm by his side
The way it should be, right?
I think so, that's the important thing.

Always there, even when he's not
I can tell, there are times that he'd rather be
Somewhere, anywhere, but here
Can't say I blame him, I'd like to leave too.

Never thought it would come to this
It was supposed to be short term
Now? I know better and am wiser
I'm in for the long haul.

When did I lose control of this?
And how did it happen?
I need his friendship, his guidance
And yes, God, I need his love.

I never had a brother before
That's how I think of him
The other half of my soul
Can't tell him though, he'll think I'm nuts.

Steven and I were never close
I resent that, what Dad did to us
But I have a new 'brother' now
Just can't tell him, or he'll think I'm nuts.

Damn, what is it this time?
He's zoning, in the middle of this?
With bullets hitting nearby?
Endangering the sentinel, I move.

Slammed to the ground, pain in my side
Jarred back to reality, what is he doing here?
Wetness, slick and sticky, warm
Shit! Blood, his blood, my guide's!

If I could breathe, I'd be laughing
It's so obvious, he thinks I'm hurt
I am, but I was wearing my vest
Just gotta catch my wind.

No! I was supposed to protect him, now he's hurt
Damn, no he's not, I pick the round out of the vest
Then who's blood? Oh, never mind, it's mine
Damn, that hurts.

He was lucky. No, we both were
The bullet that had hit him
Hadn't buried itself into his body
Just deeply grazed tender flesh, near the ribs.

"Turn down the dial," yeah, right
Easier said than done this time
Seventeen stitches, on my left torso
Itches, I think I'm allergic to the tape.

George looks at me, relief evident in his eyes
Poor man's been dealing with us for a while
I hear he's to retire from nursing soon
Maybe we can get him a Thank-You gift.

He didn't deserve that, I'm being an ass
George is a damn good nurse and paramedic
Lord knows he's probably sick of seeing Blair and I
Bet he's looking forward to retirement.

He hates the wheelchair, but it's policy
I'll buck 'the system' when the cause is right
But not when I'm trying to get my friend
Out of the emergency room in one piece.

Damn wheelchair, can't he push any faster?
I've been here for hours and the noise
And odors are making me ill
Ah, the door, fresh air and freedom.

Color is better, doesn't look so green now
Can't say I blame him, I didn't like the ER myself
Man, he's been hitting the burger joint again
Got to get him on a better diet.

My truck, my beautiful Sweetheart
What a lovely sight, too bad I can't drive
I try not to lean too heavily on him
Hand Chief the keys, fool.

Well, what do you know?
He's not protesting my driving, too much
Damn backseat driver, shut up will you?
I've been driving since I was ten.

Whoops, shouldn't have said a word
White knuckled hands grip the wheel
Just shut up and let him drive, Ellison
He's a better driver than you are.

Okay, I can do this its only three flights
How does the song go?
"He ain't heavy, he's my brother?"
Yeah, a brother that weighs a ton.

One arm around his shoulders, the other on the rail
Why did the elevator have to be broken tonight?
My ears are ringing, what was in that shot
Door, home, tired, bed please?

Door open, lug partner inside, close door
Whoops, he's about to flake out
<Sigh> One more flight of stairs
"Come on, Buddy. Bed time."

Joy. Happiness. Soft sheets and a heartbeat
Nearby that belongs right here.
I know that now and should tell him so
In the morning . . .

He's out for the night
Just hope he doesn't do the guilt trip
I made my choice, I belong here.
By his side, forever, Guide to his Sentinel.


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