Summary: Facing the biggest decision of his life, Blair turns to the one person who always believed in him.

Author's Notes: Just a couple missing scenes I had to write for "The Sentinel by Blair Sandburg", so yes, there be spoilers. This short story takes place in my "Immortal" universe, after "Immortal Champion".

"Dee?" The voice on the other end of the phone line was tired and full of pain.

"Lobo? What's wrong? What's the matter?" Diandra said, feeling her chest constrict as if he was in the same room, and she was picking up his anguish over their spiritual connection.

Blair paused, struggling to find a way to put the past few days into words. "I...I need to see you," he finally managed. "I've made such a mess of everything."

"Oh, Lobo...tell me where you are, and I'll be right there," she said.

"Actually, um, I'm sitting in my car outside the dojo. I was hoping you were home."

"Come on up, love," she said, and then hung the phone up.

When the freight elevator groaned to a stop on her floor, and the gate lifted, she nearly didn't recognize him. He looked like he hadn't slept in a week, and pain radiated off him in waves. He took a step off the elevator, almost falling into her arms. She wrapped him in her strong embrace, and led him over to the sofa, relieving him of his coat and sitting down with him as he poured out the tangled tale in a rush of words.

The gist of it was something about his mother turning his thesis over to a publisher, Jim's sentinel abilities being exposed to the world, and Jim hating him. "I'm sure he doesn't hate you, Lobo," Dee said, sliding her fingers through his. "You are too important to him."

Blair shook his head sadly. "He feels like I betrayed him, Dee, like I planned from the start to do this to him. I have to decide what to do...and you're the only person I knew who would really understand"

She brushed a stray curl out of his face. "Yeah, I do understand. You've just been offered everything you thought you wanted in the world, everything you've worked so hard for, only it comes with a bigger price than you ever thought you would have to pay."

He nodded, "Exactly. I know what I have to do; it's just that a part of me wishes I could have it both ways. Finally, finally my work is getting noticed; I'm not that little anthro geek who can't finish a paper anymore. I would finally be someone...respected."

Blair inched closer to her, and she obligingly put her arm around his shoulders, and he leaned his head on her chest. "You remember when we first met?" she asked. "And I told you those three letters after your name were way over rated?" He nodded. "They are. They don't mean anything to anyone but a bunch of wrinkled up academics who couldn't exist outside their stuffy college walls. Those letters are not you, Blair; they will never be you. There aren't enough letters in the universe to express every wonderful thing that you are. You are friend, lover, guide, companion, shaman, warrior, Watcher, son, teacher, student...the list goes on and on and still wouldn't be long enough. Whatever decision you make will be the right one, Lobo. I have the utmost faith in that."

He looked up into her sincere blue eyes, marveling at how lucky he was to have a friend like her. "Thanks, Dee, that means a lot to me. You have always believed in me, believed I was good enough, and strong enough and smart enough to do anything I put my mind to."

"Well, you are," she replied, pressing a kiss against his forehead.

He laughed softly. "Maybe I am," he told her, "but it feels so good to hear 'yes, you can' from someone else instead of a list of reasons why I can't." His voice took on a somber note. "Sometimes, sometimes I wish I had found you first, instead of Jim. I can't imagine my life without him, but just once, just once, I would like to hear him say, 'Let me help you fix it, Sandburg,' instead of 'It's all your fault'."

"Oh, Lobo," she whispered, pulling him closer, holding him tightly. "I wish I could make it all go away."

"So do I," he murmured against her sweater, "so do I."

After spending the night at Dee's, Blair returned to Cascade, knowing what he had to do, but uncertain whether his sacrifice would be enough to make everything all right. 

She came barreling around the corner, black trench coat flying behind her, boots skidding on the slick tile. She tried to pull up in time, but lost her balance, smacking into Blair.

"Whoa, whoa, Dee, hold on," he said, his grip on her jacket the only thing keeping her upright.

The Immortal's frightened blue eyes met his. "Lobo, how is she? Is she okay? You've got to let me help her!" She struggled in his grasp, trying to get past him to reach the unconscious woman in the ICU.

"Dee, Dee, calm down. You're not going to be any good to her this way," he said, trying to sooth the hysterical woman.

"No," she sobbed, "no! It's happening all over again! Lobo, you have to let me help her!"

One of the ICU nurses gave them a dirty look and started in their direction. "Dee, you have to listen to me," he hissed. "You have to calm down before they throw us out of here. Can you do that?"

Clamping her hand over her mouth, she nodded. "It's okay," he told the nurse. "We'll be very quiet." Taking her by the hand, he led her to the ICU waiting room. Seating them on a couch away from the other visitors, he slid his arm around her shoulders, feeling her press her face into his neck. "Megan's going to be okay, Dee. They're going to take her to surgery once she's stabilized. You're not going to lose her."

"I should have been there, I should have been there, I should have been there," she moaned. "The Champion isn't supposed to let this happen. I should have been there to help her, to help Captain Banks..."

"Dee," he breathed against her hair, "Dee, angel, she's going to be fine. Right now you have to pull yourself together for her. What's she going to think when she sees you going to pieces, huh?"

Taking a couple deep breaths, Dee forced her racing heart to slow, centering herself enough that she could monitor the Aussie's vital signs from where she sat. Once she was satisfied that Megan was doing fine, she relaxed and disentangled herself from Blair. "Sorry about that," she apologized. "I just kept seeing the whole thing with Lydia all over again. I can't, I can't go through that again."

"I know," he said, reaching out a hand to smooth her tousled hair. "But she's going to be just fine."

Taking a quick check around, she was surprised not to find Ellison's presence. "Where's Jim?" she asked.

Blair's expression darkened, and his voice was strained when he spoke. "He's in a bad place right now. He feels like this is his fault, because he didn't see this coming, wasn't able to stop Megan and Simon from being hurt. He was there in Simon's office when it happened; he was the one Zeller was shooting at."

"Zeller's a fucking lousy shot," she muttered under her breath. "Why didn't Jim hear the shot?"

Blair shook his head. "He's so stressed by all this his senses are shorting out on him, and..."

"And he won't let you help him," she finished.

"No, he won't," Blair admitted sadly.

"You know I'm going to have a talk with him about this..."

"No, Dee, please don't. Let me work it out, do what we discussed. Then if things don't get any better, you can talk to him," Blair said.

Dee was suddenly interested in the doctor walking toward them. "I'm not going to promise you that, Lobo, you know I can't." She rose to her feet. "Doctor, what can you tell me about Megan Connor?" she said, her voice accented by 20 years of living in Australia.

"Are you related?" the physician asked. "If you're a family member, you can go sit with her for 15 minutes every hour."

"I'm her sister," Dee replied promptly. She trailed after the doctor, turning back to give Blair a wink before she disappeared into Megan's room.

Blair watched her through the window for a few minutes, slightly envious of the way Dee touched her, stroking her face and holding her hand, part of him wishing Jim would treat him the way Dee did Megan, as an equal partner, her other half. He shook the momentary disappointment off, and left the hospital. He had things he needed to do. 

Jim Ellison snatched his phone up. "If this is another of those damned reporters..." he growled.

The voice on the line was cool, almost icy. "You'll what, Ellison? Do to me what you did to Blair?"

"Diandra, I really don't think this is any of your business..." he began, but she cut him off.

"Oh, this is definitely my business, since I didn't get the message through your thick skull the last time we had this little talk."

"I'm not in the mood for a lecture from you. I'm having enough problems as it is. I don't need you defending Sandburg to me, not after what he's done to my life."

"This is not about you, Ellison!" she barked. "It has never been about you! Don't you get it? We are nothing without the guide, without the companion. We exist only as a part of them! A true symbiosis if you will, each is nothing without the other. So get it through your neanderthal head that what you are experiencing, what you are feeling is nothing! Nothing compared to what your soulmate is going through, for he feels your pain as well as his own! Find a way to make it right, Ellison, or I will make you very, very sorry you didn't." With that final warning, the phone went dead.

The woman was nuts, Jim thought, as he stared at the phone, just plain nuts. He looked up as Rafe said something about Sandburg giving a press conference. His heart plunging to his feet, he followed the rest of the bullpen toward the TV.

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