Lauren arrived at the house at seven, and Taylor answered the door to her, Lauren raised her eyes to him, his hair was wet, his skin was pale, and his eyes looked uncannily darker than usual, his lips were dry, she realised he was run down, she was beginning to wonder if maybe she shouldn’t have called him. She was tempted to ask if he was okay, but she didn’t want to, he was too boisterous at times, and right now, the condition he was in, if she’d asked this, he’d probably explode at her for no real reason.

He motioned for her to come into the hallway. "Come in," his voice was dry, was if he’d been suffering from a sore throat for days. There was silence as they walked down the hall and into the living room, no one really needed to say anything, they were much to preoccupied, their exams were tomorrow, if they failed, both would be in deep trouble.

Lauren could not believe her eyes when she entered the living room, Taylor had stacks of books everywhere, all History, none that would help her, but history nonetheless. Taylor sat down on the floor.

Lauren felt an urge to just leave again, it felt very awkward. She looked at all the books around Taylor, realising he hadn’t been kidding, he really HAD been studying, and by the looks of it, he had been studying himself to death. She’d never really cared for Taylor before, but now, she was beginning to worry, the way he was looking, and how deeply involved in his studies he was, she was beginning to wonder how in the hell he could live like that.

Without any further thought of it, she began studying, opening her folder and writing out notes she knew she would have to remember for her test tomorrow. She thought about how easy this test would be to Taylor, he was very intellectual, she wished she could be like him, then again, with a life like his and how lonely he had admitted to feeling, she realised it would be hell to be like him.

For once, she actually felt sorry for him, despite his marvellous career and endless money, she realised his life was as dominated and owned as was a convict in prison. She hoped she would never experience that kind of domination.

She paid attention to her studies, feeling rather unusual about feeling sorry for Taylor, after all, the way he’d treated her, he didn’t deserve her sympathy. And she knew she definitely did NOT deserve to be treated that way, it hadn’t been her fault she couldn’t handle some subjects at school, and it hadn’t been her fault Taylor’s mother had forced him into tutoring her.

"Tay…?" she asked, realising she couldn’t really understand a certain part of what she was reading, Taylor’s explanations of these things were always exact and thorough, she needed his help now.

Taylor didn’t hear her, he seemed to be in a trance, so engulfed by his studies.

She sighed, realised he was somehow too far out of it to even know she was asking for his help, and she went back and tried to do it herself, however, no matter how hard she tried, she could not handle this.

Taylor caught her attention, he had broken out of his trance and was shuffling through papers and books and folders, thousands of stuff he’d been using for his studying. He moved books out of the way, going a little more panicked, his eyes were wide and his face lost.

"What is it?" she asked.

"My notes…my notes, I can’t find them…" he said, his voice full of panic, he threw some books out of the way.

"Calm down…" she said in a soothing voice, not understanding why he was getting so worked up.

"How can I calm down?!" Taylor almost boomed, making her jump back into the couch. "I’ve worked on these notes for a month!!" he was making a mess of his folders, books and papers.

"Tay…"
"If I can’t find them I can’t pass this test!" he sounded very emotional, she’d begun to realise he was more stressed out than she’d expected of him.

Lauren knelt down before him, "we’ll find them, we’ll find them," She said, and began sifting through papers, "when was it dated?"

"End of September," he answered in a quivering voice.

She began going through papers with him, she could see he was tense and jumpy now, he’d spend a lot of work on these lost notes, if he didn’t find them, he’d probably lose his confidence that he could do this test. She found a large pile of notes under a book on the floor, dated on the 28^th Of September, she looked at Taylor, "This is it?" she asked hopefully, and he looked at the papers and gave a look of relief, but the expression of tension never left his face.

He seemed to be alright apart from the tension ,and he sat there, looking over his notes, his eyes scanning quickly.

She went back to her studies, deciding there was nothing more she could do, but she had a question and it needed answering, and though she was very afraid to ask, she went for it, "Tay, what the hell did the Nazis have to do with World War II?"

He turned and looked at her, his expression cold, "how the fuck would I know?!" He demanded, his voice very dry, he got up, "why can’t you all just leave me alone?!" he threw a book across the room, it almost hit her, she dodged it and flew up from the couch, trembling.

He looked at her and she looked right back at him. She just couldn’t take this anymore, she’d taken this for two months, she wasn’t going to put up with it anymore.

"Why are you so mean?" she questioned, her voice quivering, half emotional, half terrified he’d kill her out of rage.

Taylor’s expression was blank, his eyes glazed over, his bottom lip was trembling, the look made Lauren shiver.

Taylor’s voice seemed to change its tone, in all the time she’d heard him speak to her, it never sounded quite this soft, or realistic, the tone she believed someone as gentle looking as he was, would possess. "Is that what I am? Is that who I am to you?"

She frowned, "Yes," she answered.

Taylor didn’t know what possessed him, so much pent up anger at everyone, and the world, and his life being so bad, he grabbed her book from the coffee table and threw it at her, it hit her in the chest and she gasped and doubled over, both hands to her chest.

He couldn’t believe what he’d just done, he’d never hit a girl in his life, and to do that, and with an almost desire to, made him feel terribly strange, as if it hadn’t been himself throwing that book, it had been someone else, not Taylor Hanson, not the Taylor Hanson that he himself used to know.

Lauren clenched her teeth in pain, looking at him with cold eyes, she didn’t care how much he was scaring her, and how much he could hurt her, she wouldn’t cry, she couldn’t. She wasn’t going to let him win this time. "You’re fucking deranged, you know that!!" She screamed at him.

He looked so close to tears, "I know…"

She let go of her chest, wincing, it hurt so much, he didn’t know his own strength, and admittedly, she was surprised so much strength was in that lanky frame of his. She stalked over to him, looking him in the eyes, and grabbed his arms, shaking him. "Do you have any idea what the fuck you are doing!?!? TO YOURSELF?!?!" she demanded.

He dropped to his knees, sobbing, and she watched this, as if she couldn’t believe this was happening, she’d never even imagined him crying. She’d never seen such a pitiful sight in all of her fifteen years on earth. His shoulders were shaking with so much emotion, he’d held it all back for so long and now it was out.

Lauren wasn’t quite sure what to do, her heart ached to see it hurting him like that, yet she couldn’t respond.

"How did I get like this?" he sobbed, he held his hands to his face.

"You…you’re stressed out…"

He outburst in tears, "I can’t live like this anymore…"
She knelt down before him, "huh?"

"I just wanna die," he admitted in tears.

"No you don’t, this wasn’t your fault," she explained softly.

"Then why is it making me so bad?" he demanded in angry tears.

"Its not your fault, Tay…if its anyone’s fault its mine, I’ve been mean to you too, so don’t go hurting yourself because of me, its not worth it."

"No one gives a damn, no one would even notice if I was gone."

"You say that but its not true, I care about you, even though you go about hitting me with books."

"Why should you care about me?" he asked.

"Because I’m your friend," she answered positively, handing him a tissue.

He remained silent, wiping his face with the tissue.

Lauren sat there, looking at him, her heart really did ache, for once, she finally understood him, he was broken, so dominated and lost and used and lonely, all he needed was someone, and now, she decided, she was going to have to be that someone. She doubted his brothers even realised he was this emotionally abused.

"How do I make it better?" he asked, looking at her with large blue hopeful eyes.

"Talk, cry, get lots of hugs, but hurting yourself would just make it worse."

"They say suicide is painless," Taylor uttered coldly.

"It isn’t," she held out her wrists, revealing pale scars crossing over them, he felt a jolt of shock spasm through his whole body, and he held it back, raising his eyes to hers, tears trickled down his cheeks. "It always hurts," she whispered.

She reached over and wiped his tears away using her thumbs.

"Thanks," he whispered, not sure if it was for wiping his tears, or for opening his eyes a little.

"Tay, I wanna start over again, and be your friend right from the start, I’m sick of the fighting and the hurting…the throwing of books…" she explained.

"I…I wanna start over too," he admitted softly.

"Truce?" she asked.

Taylor looked into her eyes and no longer saw the threat anymore. "Truce."

END OF MELODY OF LIFE SERIES ONE