Explain to Lance that in most "normal" families, Mom and Dad
aren't related until AFTER the wedding.
Tell JC that naptime isn't acceptable after, say, age 10
Tell Joey that, in most states, 15 and 22 constitutes a felony.
(Then give him a dictionary so he can look up the words
constitutes and felony).
Explain to Justin that ''ebonics'' doesn't count as a 2nd
language.
Take away JC's stuffed animals..better yet, take away his pillow.
Explain to Chris that no one is going to buy clothing designed
by an almost 30 year old boy-band member especially
when it's called FuManSkeeto
Explain to Lance that the words "cuz I'm from Mississippi" don't
mean squat.
Tell Justin that, due to overprocessing, his hair will be gone
by the time he turns 25.
Ask Chris when he plans to hit puberty.
Tell JC that ''anal-retentiveness'' isn't a good thing.
Explain to Joey that prostitution is illegal in most states and
so is pimping
Take away Justin's steroids
Explain to Joey that idolizing Frankie Lyman doesn't say much
for his character.
Tell Justin that neither Tyra Banks nor Halle Berry wants him.
Tell Justin that after the BMA's, Jay Z and his boys probably
laughed at him.
Better yet, tell Justin that Jay Z still doesn't know who he is.
While you're at it, tell Chris that Busta Rhymes doesn't know
(or likely care) who he is either.
Ask Joey if he REALLY graduated from high school or if his
teacher just passed him because he was the "best she ever had".
Ask Lance if he's ever dated one of his cousins.
Explain to ALL of *NSYNC that ''yes, we know Giddy Up isn't
about horses'' and "yes, we DO know what it's REALLY about"
Tell Justin that he wasn't cool on the MMC.
Point out to Justin that he was WHITE on the MMC and ask him
when the change came.
Explain to Chris and Justin that they alone cannot keep FUBU in
business.
Ask Chris if he thinks it's weird that he's 27 and his best
friend is 19
Ask Joey if he knows what abstinence means.
Ask Chris if any of *NSYNC's fans are his children.
Ask Chris how it feels to look into the audience and know that
80% of the fans could be his kids.
Ask JC if he's the only member of *NSYNC who's not getting any.
Tell JC that you get more sleep than he does. "Nah nah nah nah nah!"
Ask JOEY how many of *NSYNC fans are his children.
Talk to Lance...and mention Toby the horse.
Take away Justin's Black Entertainment Television
Tell JC that it's better to be known as the "big daddy" for
other reasons than being the bossy responsible one
Tell Lance your eyebrows are better than his and yours are natural
Take away Lance's Bonne Bell lip-gloss.
Tell Joey that *NSYNC has gone bankrupt and they have to
repossess EVERYTHING of his...bye bye bye Superman necklace.
Tell Justin that *NSYNC has gone bankrupt and the IRS is
repossessing the Benz
Tell Justin that he's bald, bankrupt, and washed up and now Nick
Carter will be the center of attention and Teen Magazine's #1
hunk
Tell Joey that Superman is dead
Tell them that the hole in the ozone layer has shifted and all
*NSYNC fans are pledging their allegiance to the Backstreet
Boys including all of their lunch money.
Tell Lance that you know his secret.