This is not, in fact, me.

This is a photo of actor Richard Kind, from TV's "Mad About You" and "Spin City."  I was once told I resembled a younger version of him.

Frankly, I don't see the resemblance.

SO WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SITE ALL ABOUT, ANYWAY?

Video reviews and movie-related ranting, mostly.  Hopefully a couple interviews in the future and other typical geek-related items.

WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL?

Nothing.  I'm not even a good web programmer.  I do, however, own a copy of "Long Shot," the foosball movie starring Leif Garrett and Linda Manz.  Sure that's gotta be worth something.

No, actually.  I'm just another B-movie fan.  I just like hyping other things, and keeping my own profile to a minimum.  If I really had any credibility, I'd be working professionally, right?

SO WHY AREN'T YOU?

I'm lazy.

ANY FAVORITE DIRECTORS?

Okay, here's a short list: Atom Egoyan, Hal Hartley, Wong Kar-Wai, Joe Dante, Todd Haynes, Tom Noonan, Radley Metzger, Russ Meyer, Larry Cohen, Robert Bresson, Jean-Luc Godard, Joel Coen, Ida Lupino, Sam Irvin, Robert Altman, Alejandro Amenabar, Billy Wilder, David Cronenberg, David Mamet, Tod Browning and Richard Linklater are folks that I'll watch basically anything by.

FAVORITE FILMS?

See 50 Films You Should See Right Now for that sort of thing.

OPEN FOR SUGGESTIONS/CONTRIBUTIONS/ETC.?

Sure, send 'em in.  There's an E-mail link on the main page.

WHAT ARE THE BIGGEST QUESTIONS LEFT UNANSWERED IN YOU LIFE?

At the General Cinemas introduction montage, we see a personified box of popcorn buying popcorn for his date, a female soda.  Does this disturb anyone else?  Isn't that a bit odd?  If I was on a date, I probably wouldn't go and order human flesh so my date could get a good taste of me.  It all seems a bit morbid.

Along similar lines, they're not even going to a movie.  They're seeing a band.  What sense does that make?  It's a movie theater promo, they should be watching a movie.

And another thing.  He also buys a coke for what apparently is his friend, who, if I recall correctly, is a box of candy or something.  His friend never asked for this--the popcorn man just hands it to him.  Maybe the non-gender specific friend is a diabetic.  Did popcorn-man ask?  No.  He's too busy trying to score with the soda.

And why does he buy the soda for the box of candy?  Is he so sure he's going to get some hot soda action later that he doesn't feel the need to taste the goods beforehand?

Or perhaps he originally intended soda for his date, but got back to the seat, realized that that was a bit tacky of him, her already being carbonated and all, so he quickly passed it off to the nearest person.  The candy box.

But then why does the candy box accept the soda so quickly?  They seem to be strangers.  Would you accept a soda that wasn't sealed from a box of popcorn you didn't know?

Why do I think about these things?

In those foreign anthologies (Spirits of the Dead, Seven Deadly Sins, etc.) why did they always invite Roger Vadim to direct a segment?

Why do people bring little kids to movies they obviously aren't going to sit through?  There was this damned little rugrat, maybe 4 years old, whining though Any Given Sunday, gurgling gleefully as though he was at home, despite being shushed by his mother (ooo, that's gonna help).  Come on!  It's a three-hour long Oliver Stone movie!  What, was this kid a big Nixon fan?

Why do stupid people breed?  Is there nothing on TV for them to watch?

How did Rocky win out over Taxi Driver and Network for Best Picture at the Oscars in 1976?  Sorry, I'm still a bit pissed about that.

Okay, okay.  Here's a picture of me.

      I hope you're happy now.

The King Kong clock in the background no longer works, however, and I have different pimples now.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 

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