Tales of the Urban Video Clerk
A Paul Freitag "Joint"
 
 

    “What’s good?”

    No two words in the English language cause as much internal conflict to the video clerk.  At least once a day, I get this question.  When it comes from a regular customer whose tastes I’ve actually gotten to know, it’s fine; however, most of the time it comes from someone I’ve never seen before.
Customers, for the most part, wander around the video store looking like lost puppies and all the big, shiny boxes filled with celebrity intimidates normally rational people out of making a decision.

    For some people, Magnolia is great, but others find it tedious and pretentious.  Some people are looking for a genuinely obscure find that’s worth seeing, like The President’s Analyst or Out of the Blue.  If you go by box office performance, it seems that many people feel that What Women Want is “good.”  While these people are both wrong and insane, this is America and they have a right to be.
“What’s good?” is such a vague question that, if you have no previous knowledge of the customer, gives you nothing to work with.  You can just rattle off some of your favorite movies or some decent new releases, but—and here’s the thing a lot of customers don’t quite get—everyone has different tastes in movies.  I usually respond to this question with, “Well, what are you in the mood for?”  After all, Requiem for a Dream is a great movie, but someone in the mood to just kick back and engulf something brainless may night find a deeply disturbing portrait of addiction all that right for their mindset.

    In most cases, “What’s good” doesn’t mean “What films do you have in your vast selection that are good examples of the medium,” but rather “What’s new that everybody seems to be renting?”  A streetwise clerk can usually tell where a customer’s tastes lie with a quick glance at a customer’s rental history.  New Release Whores, folks that can’t even think of taking out anything that’s more than sixty days old, are easy to spot.  More adventuresome renters usually look more involved when they talk about the movies they like or dislike, and rarely use such phrases as “That was the best/worst movie EVER!,” “It sucked, by he/she was SO hot!” or “Julia Roberts is really talented.”

    Many independent video stores wisely have “Employee’s Picks” sections for customers to peruse.  This is a fine idea and allows the customers to judge the clerks’ tastes as much we behind the counter judge yours.  (And, believe me, we do.  Rest assured, if you rent Random Hearts, we WILL be laughing at you when you walk out that door.)  So instead of asking silly questions with no real answer, utilize the employee picks section.  You’ll be in for a movie someone actually feels somewhat passionately about, and you’ll make a video clerk like you.  Since we control your late fees, this is more important than most people think.