THE END FOR SEA LAB, THE BEGINNING FOR MERILEE
AND BUTCH
AT RISE
ACT 1
Scene 1
At first the curtain is covering the stage
The curtain comes up to reveal what looks like a concert setting with various
people there cheering and a huge platform with instruments, at this point bare.
A screen comes down with the words HAWAII, 1973. Screen goes back up as
announcer comes on the stage.
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentilemen, welcome!
(AUDIENCE screams) Now, for the momnent you've all been waiting for. Here they
are, the greatest rock group in the world, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kids!
AUDIECE screams and applauds and ANNOUCER
leaves as four kids come upon the stage. BUTCH CASSIDY, MERILEE ANDERSON.
STEFFY MCDIVERES, and her brother, WALLY MCDIVERES.
BUTCH is first and grabs the guitar that
is leaning against the drums. He is the lead singer of the band and he bears a
remarkable resemblance to DAVID CASSIDY, curly shoulder-length black hair and
all. He is very brave and strong, but also sensitive to other’s feelings.
All in all, a very nice young man.
MERILEE grabs the tambourine that is next
to the drum. She is a very cheerful and caring young women, who, despite being
a long-haired pale blonde is ANYTHING but dumb. She has long legs and a bright,
cheerful smile that lights up the room. She’s a excellent dancer and an expert
tambourinest.
STEFFY takes the bass guitar that is right
next to thr drums. She is also very brave and kind person, although she loves
to tease her younger brother, WALLY. Her hair is brown haired and wavy. It is
long, but not as long as MERILEE’S. MERILEE is her best friend. Despite teasing
her brother she does have a love for him.
WALLY takes his place at the drums. He is
basically the exception to the rule in that despite being kind and nice, he is
a bit of a coward, However, he is honest and tries to get along with everyone,
especially his best friend, BUTCH
ELVIS, their German-Shepard dog, is along
side them. As the music plays, he starts to dance like he usually does. He is a
loyal dog and loves the Kids to death.
The KIDS start to play the music. As the
music begins, the KIDS start to sing as the fans begins to scream and clap.
BUTCH (singing): We got
to,
KIDS (singing):
Live to love
BUTCH (Singng): Honey,
KIDS (singing):
Love to live!
BUTCH(singing):
Come on, Darling, take my hand!
While the
KIDS (Singing):
Lord above,
BUTCH (singing): Gives
us,
KIDS (singing):
A time to love,
BUTCH (singing): Let’s
be happy while we can. Gotta be
KIDS (singing):
Happy while we can.
Fans scream and yell as the song continues.
BUTCH (singing): Well, I can’t
believe it, Honey,
Our love is going under,
Over such unimportant things!
We got to have a discussion,
About this fighting and fussing,
If we wanna hold on to our thing!
Cause we got to..
KIDS (singing):
Live to love
BUTCH (Singng): Honey,
KIDS (singing):
Love to live!
BUTCH(singing):
Come on, Darling, take my hand!
While the
KIDS (Singing):
Lord above,
BUTCH (singing): Gives
us,
KIDS (singing):
A time to love,
BUTCH (singing): Let’s
be happy while we can. Gotta be
KIDS (singing):
Happy while we can.
KIDS (singing):
Live to love
BUTCH (Singng): Honey,
KIDS (singing):
Love to live!
BUTCH(singing):
Come on, Darling, take my hand!
While the
KIDS (Singing):
Lord above,
BUTCH (singing): Gives
us,
KIDS (singing):
A time to love,
BUTCH (singing): Let’s
be happy while we can. Gotta be
KIDS (singing):
Happy while we can.
KIDS (singing):
Live to love
BUTCH (Singng): Honey,
KIDS (singing):
Love to live!
BUTCH(singing):
Come on, Darling, take my hand!
While the
KIDS (Singing):
Lord above,
BUTCH (singing): Gives
us,
KIDS (singing):
A time to love,
BUTCH (singing): Let’s
be happy while we can. Gotta be
KIDS (singing):
Happy while we can.
Audience claps as the KIDS bow hand wave
to them.
SCENE 2
The KIDS are in their hotel room, obviously after the concert, packing up.
BUTCH:
Great work, Kids. I think that was a record, under two days!
WALLY
(sarcastically): Terrific, now can we PLEASE just relax for a little while?
STEFFY: What’s the matter, Wally? Don’t want to go to the fancy party tonight?
WALLY:
Personally I’d rather collapse on this bed and not wake up for five years.
(yawns) I’m too tired to even dance.
STEFFY: Fine, then just eat the food!
WALLY:
Just bring it up to me. Besides, I bet Butch and Merilee would LOVE to have the
opportunity to be alone together! (he laughs as BUTCH and MERILEE glance at
each other secretly.)
BUTCH (teasing) Who told?
WALLY: The tabloids? (they all laugh)
BUTCH: Well, I got a few things to tell
them about Merilee..
WALLY: Yeah, I do too, about you and
Merilee on the balcony outside!
STEFFY: You wouldn’t!!
WALLY: Uh, nah, I wouldn’t…
(knock is heard at the door)
BUTCH: Come on!
(door opens and policeman enters happily.)
BUTCH: Good evening, officer.
POLICEMAN: Good evening, Mr. Cassidy.
Wonderful performance tonight, all of you. In more ways than one, You young
adults are certainly multi-talented!! I just wanted to stop in and say thank
you.
BUTCH: It was really nothing, Officer.
Just doing our job.
OFFICER: Believe me, it was a LOT! After
all the trouble our people have gone through to nab those counterfeiters, it
was remarkable tat the government have sent you to help us, and you did a
marvelous job!
MERILEE (blushing a bit): Gosh really,
Officer, we’ve done this sort of thing many different times before!
OFFICER: And it showed today! I tell you,
I must confess, when Mr. Socrates informed my office that the famous Sundance
Kids were in reality a government organization working undercover, it would
NEVER have believed it, but you’ve all proved me wrong. You can restore the
faith of the government in anyone!
BUTCH: Thank you, Officer.
OFFICER: And my office has issued a
special invitation to you. If there is anything we can do for you, lease don’t
hesitate to ask.
WALLY: Well now that you mention it, we
COULD use a small raise and vacation…
STEFFY: WALLY!!
WALLY: I’m just saying, he DID offer to…
OFFICER (laughing): Well, beleve me, I’ll
see what I can do. And please, send the bill for this dinner tonight to our
office. We would like to pay for it ourselves.
MERILEE: Wow!
BUTCH: That’s very kind of you..
OFFICER (waving his hand): Think nothing
of it. We feel you deserve it. Good evening, and many thanks again!
(exits)
MERILEE: Wow, a free dinner!
WALLY: Yeah! Amazing, but let’s try to cut
out early.
BUTCH (laughing): Are you sure, Wally?
You’ll miss desert! (both men laugh)
WALLY: Depends on what they’re having, or what
MIGHT happen! (winks at BUTCH, glances at MERILEE) I mean, what if Mr. Socrates
calls again?
BUTCH: Yeah. Well, let’s just hope he
doesn’t.
MERILEE walks outside to the balcony,
BUTCH walks out with her and put his arm around her.
BUTCH (whispering into her hair): Meet me
up here later…
MERILEE (mocking him teasingly): Meet me
up here later…
BUTCH (laughing): Well, are you or aren’t
you?
MERILEE (mocking): Well are you or aren’t
you?
BUTCH (laughs out loud and draws her near
to him): Well, are you?
MERILEE (smiles and puts her arms around
him): Depends..
BUTCH: On wat?
MERILEE: How deep you can kiss me..(BUTCH
SMILES and draws her into a deep kiss. The kiss gets more and more tender)
Mmmm…definitely. (she leans againat BUTCH) It’s a lovely day, isn’t it, Butch?
BUTCH: Mmm, hmm…but it’s not as lovely as
you. (Turns her around) Mmm…Merilee…how long has it been since I told you I
love you?
MERILEE (checks her watch): About...two
hours..
BUTCH: That long? Tell me these things, so
I can know! (they laugh and kiss again) I love you…
MERILEE: I love you, too…(sighs and leans
against him, notices BUTCH is staring at her) What?
BUTCH: Nothing….I was just…look at
you...you’re perfect. You’re beautiful, you’re unbelievably intelligent, you’re
sweet, kind, talented, a fabulous dancer and singer…an unbelievable flyer. I
don’t know what this team would do without you…(draws her near) You’re
incredible.
MERILEE: Would you mind calling up some of
the girls I went to high school with and telling them? (they laugh) Mm...you
always say the right things, Butch. (BUTCH lifts her face and kisses her again)
BUTCH: I only speak what’s in my heart,
Merilee. And let me tell you, ever since Mr. Socrates assigned us to work
together…I swear I’ve never met anyone like you.
MERILEE: I haven’t either. You’re
definitely the sweetest person I’VE ever met. (music starts) I don’t know if I
really believe in true soul-mates, but I do believe in destiny.
(sings)
I’m gonna make you a promise,
Starting tonight,
If I never do anything else,
For the rest of my life,
I’m gonna hold somebody,
I’m gonna look in someone’s eyes,
Till I’m so overcome that I cry,
I’m gonna love somebody
More than anybody,
Oh, Butch there’s so much, I wanna do,
But I’m not gonna do anything without you!
BUTCH (singing): There’s no way I’ll ever
be above,
There’s no way I’ll lose,
If I have to sacrifice everything,
Then that’s what I’ll do.
I’m gonna hold somebody,
I’m gonna look in someone’s eyes,
Till I’m so overcome that I cry,
I’m gonna love somebody
More than anybody,
Meri, there’s so much, I wanna do,
But I’m not gonna do anything without you!
MERILEE(singing): This is my dream I live
and breathe!
BUTCH (singing):
All I think about!
MERILEE (Singing): Oh, this is a fire that
burns in me..
BUTCH (singing): That’ll
never go out!
BOTH (singing):
I’m gonna hold somebody,
I’m gonna look in someone’s eyes,
MERILEE (singing):Till I’m so overcome
that I cry
BUTCH (singing): I’m
gonna love somebody
More than anybody,
Darling,there’s so much, I wanna do,
But I’m not gonna do anything without you!
MERILEE(singing): Butch, there’s so much I
wanna do..
BUTCH (singing): So much I wanna do..
MERILE (singing): But I’m not gonna do
anything without..
BUTCH(Singing): Anything without..
BOTH(Singing): You. (they kiss again as
STEFFY calls from inside)
STEFFY (inside the building): Hey,
Merilee?
MERILEE: Coming! (goes inside as WALLY
comes out to join BUTCH)
WALLY: So?
BUTCH (smiling): So?
WALLY: So..did ya get it yet?
BUTCH (smiling): This morning.
WALLY: You got it now?
BUTCH (touches his shirt pocket): Yeah, I
got it.
WALLY: Well, let me see it!! (BUTCH smiles
and takes a small black box out of hs pocket, opens it, and shows it to WALLY-
a big diamond ring! WALLY whistles.) Wow, that is a beauty!
BUTCH: Yeah..(Looks down upon it) Cost me
three months salary, but its worth it.
WALLY: I can’t believe you’re finally
gonna ask Merilee to marry you!
BUTCH: Yeah, I’m gonna do it tonight,
right after dinner…
WALLY: But before desert! Cause I’m
planning on going RIGHT up here and going STRAIGHT to bed, and I wanna have
enough strength to congradulate you guys!
BUTCH (laughs): Thanks, Old buddy. But I
have to admit, Wally, I’m more nervous then I think I’ve ever been in my life!
WALLY (pretends to gasp, steps backward,
and puts his hand upon his heart): What have you done with the REAL Butch?!
(they all laugh) But seriously, Butch, YOU, nervous?! Your own SISTER says you’re
born without the fear gene, and from how long I’ve known you, I believe her. I
mean, I have seen you dangle along the edge of the Effel Tower to protect a
secret formula, I have seen you ride on TOP of an AVALANCHE to rescue that
parrot that knew half of a nuclear formula. I have seen you jump from a broken
roller coaster to a moving ferris wheel to rescue us from gold theives, I have
seen you improvise a pair of water skis from rickety ship boards to stop a
statue thief…and you’re SCARED and NERVOUS to ask someone you’ve known for
years a simple question?!
BUTCH (laughs and waves his hands): I
know, it does sound weird, Wally, but that’s really how I feel!
WALLY: Well, believe me, Butch, I don’t
think there’s any reason to be nervous, Merilee’s gonna jump right on top of ya
once she sees that ring! (puts out his hand) Good luck, Buddy!
BUTCH (shakes hand): Thanks, Pal. (WALLY
goes back inside. BUTCH stares out at the balcony. Sighs.) Merilee. (music
starts as he stares at the ring in his hand.) I know it’s strage that I’m
nervous…but I can’t help it. I only hope you’ll say yes…(looks out)
Sings: I can
only give you love that lasts forever,
And the promise to be near each time you call,
And the only heart I own,
For you and you alone,
That’s all.
That’s all.
I can only give you country walks in Springtime,
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall,
And a love who’s burning light,
Will warm the winter’s night,
That’s all,
That’s all.
There are those I am sure who have told you,
They would give you the world for a toy.
All I have all these arms to enfold you,
And a love time can never destroy.
If you wonder what I’m asking in return, dear,
You’ll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it’s me that you’ll adore,
For now and evermore,
That’s All,
That’s all.
(He puts the ring back into his pocket and
looks back into the hotel room. MERILEE passes by, and they smile at one
another. MERILEE passes by, and he stares outside again.)
Sings: If you wonder
what I’m asking in return, dear,
You’ll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it’s me that you’ll adore,
For now and evermore,
That’s All,
That’s all.
(lights go down as he goes back in)
SCENE 3
The fancy party. At rise we see a fancy room, obviously in the hotel, filled
with mirrors and lights. There are many big round tables with white tablecloths
and flower centerpieces right in the middle, all set up around the room. Fancy
napkins and shiny silverware grace the table, and flowers and candles are set
up all around. There is a stage all set up in the middle of the room and
a formal group in fancy clothes are already playing. There is a small stage
right in front, Many people in fancy clothes are either eating at the tables or
dancing on the stage. The women are in fancy gowns and the men are in tuxedos.
Right in front of the scene there are two glass doors set up with benches on either
side, indicating another balcony. The KIDS enter from the right front doors.
WALLY and BUTCH are in tuxedos, and MERILEE and STEFFY are in very fancy
dresses with their hair up. STEFFY is in a sparkling blue dress with her hair
in a bun, and MERILEE in a bright red dress with her hair up in a French Twist.
The WAITERS in tuxedos enter just then and lead them to a table near the stage.
WALYY winks at BUTCH, BUTCH grins at him. The musicians start to play a tender
love song. BUTCH grins at MERILEE ad stands up, holding out his hand to her.
MERILEE smiles and lets him lead her to the dance floor. As they start to
dance, the musicians play a tender love song.
MUSICIANS sing: Wrapped around each
other,
Trying so hard to stay warm,
That first cold winter together,
Lieing in each other’s arms,
Watching those old movies,
Falling in love so despirately,
Honey, I was your hero,
You were my Leading Lady…
We had it all,
Just like Bogie and Bacall,
Starring in our own late, late show,
Sailing away to Key Largo.
‘Here’s looking at you,
Kid’,
Missing all the things we did,
We can find it once again, I know,
Just like they did in Key Largo.
(at this time a tuxedoed man approaches
STEFFY and asks her to dance, as does a fancy women with WALLY. But BUTCH and
MERILEE hardly notice. WALLY doesn manage to catch BUTCH’s eye and smile,
slightly nodding. BUTCH nods back. WALLY exchanges a smile with STEFFY as they
dance by each other. As the song priogresses, the stage gets darker and darker,
excpet a single spotloght on BUTCH and MERILEE dancing quietly together,
unaware of anything, anyplace, anytime, anything but one another)
MUSICIANS sing: Honey, can’t you remember,
We played all the parts,
That sweet sea of surrender,
When you gave me your heart?
We say you will,
Play it again,
Cause I love you still,
Baby, this can’t be the end!
We had it all,
BACKUP SINGER:We had it all,
MUSICIANS sing: Just like Bogie and
Bacall,
Starring in our own late, late show,
Sailing away to Key Largo.
‘Here’s looking at you,
Kid’,
BACKUP SINGER: ‘Here’s Looking At You,
Kid!’
MUSICIANS sing: Missing all the things we
did,
We can find it once again, I know,
Just like they did in Key Largo.
We had it all,
BACKUP SINGER: We had it all,
MUSICIANS sing: Just like Bogie and
Bacall,
Starring in our own late, late show,
Sailing away to Key Largo.
‘Here’s looking at you,
Kid’,
BACKUP SINGER: ‘Here’s Looking At You,
Kid!’
MUSICIANS sing: Missing all the things we
did,
We can find it once again, I know,
Just like they did in Key Largo.
When song is over, all applaud as lights
to back up. BUTCH smiles and carefully kisses MERILEE’s hand. He leads her outside
through the glass doors as the MUSICIANS begin a quiet slow dance as the lights
go down again on the dancers and a spotlight comes upon BUTCH and MERILEE as
they sit upon one of the benches.
BUTCH: It was getting kind of hot in
there.
MERILEE: It’s nicer out here. (looks up)
Wow, look at all those lovely stars.
BUTCH (stare up): Yeah, those are so
beautiful. (stares at MERILEE) That’s a lovely dress you’re wearing, Merilee.
(puts arm around her)
MERILEE (leans against hm): Thank you,
Butch. It’s brand new.
BUTCH: It looks nice on you. You look like
a real princess.
MERILEE (looking at BUTCH): In a way I
feel like one. Ya know, when I was a little girl, I would pretend I was one fr
real. I would wear a lovely formal dress and be invited to the fanciest
parties. I would enter with my Prince Charming on my arm and he would swep me
off my feet in a romantic dance. Then he would take my out along the balcony,
and we would kiss underneath the stars.
BUTCH: That’s a lovely fantasy.
MERILEE (looks up at BUTCH): Well, it’s
not just a fantasy anymore, Butch, cause you made it all come true.
Well..expect for one thing.
BUTCH: What?
MERILEE (cups his face): This….(kisses him
tenderly)
BUTCH: Marilee (draws her near, but takes
a shaky breath)
MERILEE: Butch? What’s wrong?
BUTCH: Oh, nothing, nothing…
MERILEE: Butch? You look nervous about
something.
BUTCH: Well…in a way..
MERILEE: That’s not like you.
BUTCH: No. (laughs a bit) It’s funny,
isn’t it? My sister always said I was born without the fear gene, but today,
I’m more nervus than I’ve ever been.
MERILEE: Why, Butch?
BUTCH (stands up): Well…(clears throat)
Wel…Merilee…I want to tell you something…
MERILEE: Yes?
BUTCH (takes both her hands): Merilee, you
mean the entire world to me. From the very first moment I saw you, I knew you
were special. Merilee, you bring so much into my life. Your partnership is
amazing and I couldn’t ask for anyone else. Without you always being there for
me, always believing in me, always standing by me, I don’t think I would be
where I am today. I’m all I am today because of you. Merilee, I love you more
than anything in the world, I want to be by your side forever…(gets down on one
knee, take a deep breath, and takes out the ring.) Merilee Rose Anderson,
you’re everything in the entire world to me, and I love you more than life
itself. Will you please be with me, as my partner, my friend, and my one true
love forever? (opens up ring box, causing MERILEE to gasp) Merilee, will you
marry me?
MERILEE: Oh my God…Butch..I…of course,
I’ll marry you!! Yes, yes, yes!! (throws her arms around him and they share a
deep kiss. He puts ring on her.) Oh, Butch, it’s beautiful! Oh, Butch! (They
stand up and kis deeply underneath the stars. They become aware of clapping as
they turn and se STEFFY and WALLY clapping)
WALLY: Didn’t I tell ya? Didn’t I tell ya!
(Hugs MERILEE and kisses her on the cheek) Congradulations. (to BUTCH, holding
out his hand) Put ‘er there, buddy!
BUTCH (shakes hands): Thanks, Pal.
STEFFY: OK, now, let me see it, I want to
see it!! (MERILEE holds out her hand to show her the ring. STEFFY gasps) Oh my
God, that is beautiful! (hugs MERILEE) oh, congratulations! Oh, I’;m so happy
for you!!!
MERILEE: Thank you! Ya know, I was hoping
you’d be one of my Maids-Of-Honor.
STEFFY: Aw.
MERILEE: You’ve always been there for me.
BUTCH: And, Wally, you’ll be my best man,
won’t you?
WALLY (exaggerated bow): I’d be humbled
and honored! (hugs BUTCH) Thanks, Pal. (looks into the party.) Hey isn’t that
he cake coming out there? Hey, make way! (tuns back into the room. STEFFY
shakes her head and follws him. BUTCH and MERILEE smile and walk into each
other’s arms. They kiss as music starts)
BUTCH: Merilee. Did anyone ever tell you
that’s the prettiest name in the world? (MERILEE shakes her head)
(WALLY comes back into balcony with
something hidden underneath his shirt, followed by STEFFY)
WALLY: Good, you guys are stil out here.
BUTCH: What’s up, Wally?
WALLY: I just wanted to quickly go back to
our room and get a little something..
STEFFY: I can’t believe he managed to
sneak that here!
BUTCH: What is that, Wally?
WALLY: Just a litle something I was saving
for a special occasion…and when my two best friends get engaged, that IS a
special occasion! (takes out a champagne bottle and hold it up)
MERILEE: Wow, champagne!
STEFFY (setting up four fluted glasses): I
still can’t believe no one saw him sneak that into the hotel, but I am glad he
did remember to bring it. Set em up! (WALLY pours champagne and STEFFY passes
out glasses)
BUTCH: Well, in that case, we better hurry
up and have some! (raises glass, others follow suit)
WALLY: Wait a minute, wait a minute, let
the best man practice giving the toast, please! (clears throat) To Butch and Merilee!
Great partners, even better friends! May you be happy, may love always be with
you!
STEFFY: Hear hear!! (all clink glasses and
start to drink as we suddenly become aware of a dark shadow appearing in the
main window. This shadow greatly resembles a large, burley man. He puts one
hand upon the ledge and seems to stare very intently at the KIDS. When the KIDS
start to mive around, he ducks and goes back into the party. Shadow again peeks
out to see BUTCH tenderly kiss MERILEE and he looks like he's about to choke on
this touching scene, bolting out quickly. Lights dim down at party, lght up on
shadow. We still can't see him, but he pulls out what looks like a communcator.
He turns it on, voice comes out)
VOICE (sounds southern): Yeah?
SHADOW: I finally found them. Are you SURE
THESE people are the ones that are gonna be after us?
VOICE: Listen, the figures don't lie. We
knew the damn government was gonna catch us eventually, we knew they were gonna
send their best agents after us, and according to the records we managed to
smuggle, these brats are the ones. Now don’t let them out of their site until I
tell ya to report back. Now keep a low profile!
SHADOW: Gotcha! (he peaks through the
window, then takes off.)
SCENE 4
Immediately following this the
curtain comes down and bustling, typing type music is heard as TABLOID
REPORTERS come rushing onto the stage , all writing things down in their
notebooks.
TABLOID REPORTER #1: Big music stars just
get engaged!
TABLOID REPORTER #2: Wedding bells to ring
for well known musicians!
TABLOID REPORTER #3: Young Prince and
Princess of rock to make it official!
TABLOID REPORTER #4: Young music stars to
wed!
TABLOID REPORTER #1: Read all about it!
Read all about it!!
They give their notebooks one at a time
for another REPORTER who is sitting at a makeshift table to the left that has a
typewriter on it. She quickly types up the stories and rips out page of
typewriter, exiting to the left.
Curtain goes up as newstand is set up in
one corner. The REPORTER that was on the typewriter comes with stacks of
tabloids resemblig the National Enquirer and gives it to person at stand.
TEENAGERS enter from all points of the stage and start buying them. Several
teens gather at a malt shop set up to the right and pour over it. Some gasp and
beam, some start sobbing. Several other people enter and buy some tabloids or
talk. One of them is a light brunette with dark green eyes and a friendly
smile- JUDY ANDERSON- MERILEE’S sister. She is just as sweet and nice as her
sister but a bit protective of her family. Original four TABLOID REPORTERS come
up to people and start talking. Sccribble in their notebooks as music starts.
TABLOID REPORTER #1(singing): They were
young kids in the city
TABLOID REPORTER #2(singing ): Met each other
to make music pretty,
TABLOID REPORTER #3 (singing): Everyone
knew it was love from the start!
TABLOID REPORTER #4 (singing): One July in
the midnight hour,
TABLOID REPORTER #1 (singing): They went
to a balcony on a tower,
TABLOID REPORTER #2 (singing): There he
gave her his whole heart..
TABLOID REPORTER #3 (singing): We wrote
in…
TEENAGERS (singing): John deere green,
On a hot summer night..
They wrote, ’Butch Loves Merilee’
In letters ten foot high!
TEEN BOY
(singing): And this whole town says
TEEN GIRL
(singing): They all should have used red!
JUDY (singing): But it looked good to Merilee!
TEENS (singing): In john deer green!
More and more TEENS and YOUNG ADULTS come
on the stage and are shown the tabloid or buy one. Mostly they’re happy, but a
lot of TEEN GIRLS start crying or look shocked. JUDY just shakes her head and
waves her hand away.
TEEN GIRL#1 (singing): They’ll settle
down, oh, I just know it!
TEEN BOY (singing): They’ll still have
concerts, maybe do some duets,
YOUNG WOMAN (singing): They go together,
like a hand and a glove!
(during these verses some TEEN GIRLS walk
into record store in back and pick up obviously BUTCH AND THE SUNDANCE KIDS and
kisses it. MORE GIRLS come in and show them tabloids. Stare, shocked, and
cry on one another’s shoulders. TEEN BOYS are to the left, shaking their heads
at what they read. MORE TEEN GIRLS gather at malt shop, sit around a table, and
talk about tabloid)
TEEN GIRL#2 (singing): On a clear day, in
a concert,
TEEN GIRL #3 (singing):If you see them,
you know they won’t part..
TEEN BOY #2: And in this paper is written
their words of love!
MORE TEENS come. GIRLS IN MALT SHOP start
sitting on table as they join in song. More TEENS run around, showing each
other tabloids, all coming together in a dance.
TABLOID REPORTER #3 (singing): We wrote
in…
TEENAGERS (singing): John deere green,
On a hot summer night..
They wrote, ’Butch Loves Merilee’
In letters ten foot high!
TEEN BOY
(singing): And this whole town says
TEEN GIRL
(singing): They all should have used red!
JUDY (singing): But it looked good to Merilee!
TEENS (singing): In john deer green!
REPORTERS go to some ADULTS that have
entered, and start asking them questions.
ADULT #1: I think it’s sweet, first time
that a lead singer actually married his own backup!
ADULT#2: Please, look at them in concert,
they were meant for each other!
ADULT #3: They could be the next Sonny and
Cher!
ADULT #4: Well, they are a bit young, but
I wish them all the best!
REPORTER #1 (approaching JUDY): Ma’am,
you’re Merile’s sister, right? Would you like to say anything about her recent
engagement?
JUDY: She’s a sweet girl, a wonderful
person, and he’s a nice man. I know he’ll take care of her. She’s happy, she’s
in love…and that’s all you’re getting from me!
REPORTER #1: What do you have to say about
the millions of teen girls whose hearts are probably breaking right now?
JUDY (laughing and waving her hand): Well,
they had their chance!
ADULT #1 (In song, to REPORTER) :I think
everyone here just knows..
ADULT #2 (singing): Denying it ain’t no
use!
ADULT #3 (singing): Everyone whose ever
seen them just knows it!
ADULT#4: Their love just comes right
through!!
(NEWSPAPER STAND OWNER and OTHER ADULTS
join in the last verse)
TABLOID REPORTER #3 (singing): We wrote
in…
TEENAGERS (singing): John deere green,
On a hot summer night..
They wrote, ’Butch Loves Merilee’
In letters ten foot high!
TEEN BOY (singing):
And this whole town says
TEEN GIRL
(singing): They all should have used red!
JUDY (singing): But it looked good to Merilee!
TEENS (singing): In john deer green!
John deer greene!
MALT SHOP GIRLS sit back down and look
stuned as one of them breaks down and cries as lights go down. JUDY shakes her
head as she walks to the left. Camera follows her to….
SCENE 5
JUDY’S house. It is obviously in the final stages of being decorated for a
party. Balloons and streamers are hung up everywhere, along with pink fold-out
paper bells in each corner. The food is all set up in one corner along with
huge cake that spells out ‘Congradulations Merilee’. LORI, JUDY’s blond haired
roommate , is putting another bouquet of flowers on the table. FRANK, LORI and
JUDY’s boss, an elderly serious man, is helping put up the streamers.
JUDY enters from the left.
JUDY: Wow, Lori, this place looks
gorgeous!
LORI (smiling): Thought you might like it!
FRANK: Thank you, Judy. Hey, only the best
for your sister.
JUDY: I appreciate all you’re doing to
help out, Frank. Thank you.
FRANK: Well…ahem…(hold out his hand,
expecting payment)
JUDY: Yes, Frank
FRANK: Well? Thank you, is that all I get?
(smiles)
JUDY: Oh no, that’s not all…(Kisses his
cheek) Thank you oh dearest Franklin, oh thou! (LORI and JUDY laugh)
FRANK: And that’s it?
LORI: Oh no (also kisses cheek) Oh Dearest
wonderful Frank , your diligent work will live forever in our memory! (both
women giggle FRANK shakes his head and exits)
JUDY (looks at her watch) : Well,
we’re all set up, the guests should be coming in any second, and our main guest
of honor should be here in twenty minutes. Plenty of time! I’m gonna go up to
my room and change.
LORI: OK. How was it out there?
JUDY: A mess, so many reporters asking me
questions in between a lot of teens hearts breaking. Passed by abut twenty
girls crying their eyes out and quite a few boys holding it in!
LORI: Oh..poor babys!
JUSY (laughs): Yeah!
LORI: Oh, Judy, Liz just called.
Unfortunately, she won’t be able to make the shower today. But she promised
she’ll be here for the wedding.
JUDY: Oh, I hope so, Meri really wants her
there!
LORI: she assured me she was gonna be!
JUDY: That’s good. (goes up to room. Knock
is heard on door, LORI runs to get it. DOTTIE, the be speckled receptionist of
World Wide Talent Agency, is standing on the other side. She is dressed in a
pretty pink dress and hold a brightly wrapped package. She is nice but a little
flighty)
DOTTIE: Hi there!
LORI: (gives her quick hug): Hi, Dottie,
please come in! I’ll take that (takes present) It’s so nice to see you..wow, is
the agency on voice mail today? (both laugh)
DOTTIE: Hi, am I the first one here?
LORI: Yes, as a matter of fact. Make
yourself at home, Judy’s upstairs getting dressed.
DOTTIE: Hey, it looks fabulous in here!
LORI: Yeah, Frank helped out a lot. Please
make yourself at home! (door knocks again and MRS ROGERS enteres. She is a
fiftyish woman who still looks good. She has known JUDY and MERILEE ever sice
they were little) Oh, hello, Mrs. Rogers!
MRS> ROGERS: Hello, Lori! (hugs her and
gives her present)
LORI: Please come in!
MRS. ROGERS: Thank you! (enters and
gasps): Oh, Lori, Honey this looks beautiful!
(JUDY comes down the stairs in a pale
violet dress.)
JUDY: Mrs. Rogers! (hugs her) Hello!
MRS. ROGERS: Hello, Dear!
JUDY: I’m so happy to see you, Mrs.
Rogers!
MRS. ROGERS: I’m so glad to be here, dear.
Wow…Merilee, getting married..I just can’t believe it.
JUDY: She’ll be so happy to see you, Mrs.
Rogers. After all, you’ve been Mama’s friend since..well..forever..and we’ve
known you all our lives.
MRS. ROGERS: I wouldn’t miss this day. Wow,
just think…Merilee’s getting maried..it was almost yesterday that both of you
were just spunky little girls playing out in the backyard…Merilee banging on
your father’s old tambourine…and now she’s getting married..here we are at her
shower..where does the time go..(starts to sniff. DOTTIE picks up box of
tissues on table and hands them over to her)
JUDY: I know, I know…(catching herself)
Anyway, any other guests coming? (voices are heard in the background) Oh,
fabulous! (door opens and JOSIE, VALERIE, and MELODY enter. They are from the
rock group JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS. JOSIE has short red hair. She is very kind
but slightly flighty., and not too observant of things. VALERIE is
African-American, she is very nice and intelligent. MELODY is a beach blonde,
she is not very smart at all but extremely cheerful. They are all in colorful
dresses) Hi, Josie, Melody, Valerie!
JOSIE: Hi, Judy! Hope we’re not late..
VALERIE: yeah, there’s a HUGE crowd of
people outside.
MELODY: We couldn’t resist signing a few
autographs! Hee,hee,hee.
JUDY: No, as a matter of fact, you’re
right on time. I only wish there was some way to get rid of them…well, I told
Merile I wanted her to meet me by the back door, I sent Frank in there to
distract her. Seeing all those fans in front might get her suspicious.
JOSIE (getting up and checking out the
window): Man, Merilee and Steffy’s fans sure love them!
LORI: They sure do!
MEDOLY: Oh those poor people. Can’t they
just go out for a minute and sign some autographs?
VALERIE: Melody, if they did that we’d
never be able to have the party!
(a scuffle is heard outside and DEBBIE
struggles her way in. She is a dark haired mechanic/car racer who has her
garage next door to JUDY. She is dressed in a very nice blue blouse and a white
skirt. )
JUDY: Hi, Debbie.
DEBBIE: Fans! Tons and tons of them,
they’re overcrowding the driveway out there! (LORI goes into the kitchen)
MELODY (getsup and oves toward the
window):Oh, the poor things!
DEBBIE: Was lucky I was able to get here
when I did. Was almost trampled!
JUDY: Well, Debbie, we’re glad you could
make it.
DEBBIE (smiles): I wouldn’t miss this,
Judy. I only hope Merilee and Steffy can make it through that ever-lovin
crowd!
JUDY: (Takes present from her. Somewhat of
a trumpeting sound is heard from kitchen) Uh oh, drum roll!! (LORI enters the
room carrying out a huge sheet cake decorated with a ring in icing and ’Congradulations, Merilee’ on it) Oh, Lori the cake
finally arrived!
DOTTIE: Mmmm…that looks so delicious!
MRS. ROGERS: Wow, that s so pretty!!
JUDY: Well, they’re entering through the
back door to aviod it.
VALERIE: Man, look at them all scream..
JOSIE (shrugs): Well..as long as we’re
here…come on, Pussycats, let’s see if we can help break that crowd up a litle
bit..(PUSSYCATS shrug and go out to see fans)
The kitchen. FRANK is in the kitchen, pouring a glass of iced tea from the
fridge. It is a nice homely kitchen. The refridgerator is up against the back
wall, framed by white counters. Matching white cabinets are above. The windows
with rose colored lacy curtains are to the right with the back door to the
right. The door to the living room is on the left, directly opposite from back
door. As the lights come up, the back door opens and MERILEE enters with STEFFY
behind her. MERILEE looks surprised and happy to see FRANK
MERILEE: Hello, Frank!
FRANK (jumps a bit then turns around and
smiles upon seeing MERILEE): Merilee! So nice to see you again, dear. (Goes
over to her, holds her hands, and kisses her on each cheek) You’re just as
lovely as ever.
MERILEE (giggles): And you’re as gallant
as ever.
FRANK: I haven’t seen you lately to
present my congratulations.
MERILEE: Thank you.
FRANK: May you be very happy and have lots
of musical children. That’s my prayer for you.
MERILEE (smiles): That’s quite a thought.
FRANK: Hello, Steffy, dear. (goes over and
hugs her) How are you, my Dear?
STEFFY: I’m good, Frank.
FRANK: Big doings around here today?
STEFFY: That’s for sure!
MERILEE: Have you seen Judy, Frank? She
told me to meet her back here..
FRANK: Well, she’s in the living room.
STEFFY: I’ll go get her right now…(goes
through door)
MERILEE: Actually, Frank, I wanted to talk
to you.
FRANK: Oh
MERILEE: Well, yes. You see, for the obvious
reasons, my father can’t be here to give me away…neither can Mama..(FRANK
touches her arm)
FRANK: They WILL be there, you know..
MERILEE: I know. So I was wondering,
Frank. Judy says you’re like a father figure to her, and in a way when I come visit
you’re like one to see as well. (smiles) So, will you walk me down the aisle?
FRANK (surprised): Me?
MERILEE: Of course, you!
FRANK (touched beyond words): Well…uh..I
mean…really? Me? Well..(clears throat) I’d be honored to. Hav you set a date
yet?
MERILEE: May 15th.
FRANK: Oh?
MERILEE: Yes. Everybody’s a June bride, no
‘June Bride’ stuff for
me. I’ve always wanted to be a May bride myself.
FRANK: So, May 15th?
MERILEE: Yes.
FRANK: Well, I will be there.
MERILEE (hugs him): Thank you, Frank.
(STEFFY enters from the lving room door)
STEFFY: Merilee? Judy wants you to come in
here for a moment.
MERILEE: All right. (lights go down as she
goes into the room. A huge yell of ‘SURPRISE’ is heard as lights quickly come
back up on..)
SCENE 7
The party. MERILEE stands there with her hands oer her mouth as her friend
suround her and hugs her, kisses her cheek, she laughs and cries all at the
same time. She points to JUDY and laughs as they hug happily. She turns to
STEFFY ad they hug happily)
(as MERILEE'S friends are surrounding her
and hugging her happily, suddenly we become aware of a dark shadow appearing in
the main window. This shadow greatly resembles a large, burley man. He puts one
hand upon the ledge and seems to stare very intently at STEFFY and MERILEE as
they lead her to the couch. Once JUDY raises her head the shadow quicky
leaves.)
MERILEE: You little...(she laughs happily)
When did you plan this?!
JUDY: Ever since you anounced your
engagement.
LORI: Steffy was a big help as well.
STEFFY (shrugs): Hey, what's a
Maid-Of-Honor for?
DEBBIE(picks up a few brightly-wrapped
packages): Come on, hold out your arms, hold our your arms..(she does so) and
Con..cose your eyes, close your eyes (des so) Congradulations, there you
go..(puts gifts into her arms. as MERILEE starts to unwrap her gift we see
shadow again, staring very intently at MERILEE and STEFFY. Just his pose
suggests pure evil intent. He rremains at window throughout fillowing scene,
everyone having too much fun to notice. MERILEE finishes unwrapping gift and
gasps out loud. She hold up a beautiful long white dress. It consists of a pure
white dress with a small transparent jacket that has tiny pearls sewn
into it. The dress is cut close to the body, then falls into rich folds on the
floor. The full skirt has white roses sewn into it and in a row at the
bottom. Lace is sewn at the bottom, forming a train. A wedding dress. MERILEE
hold back tears)
MEERILEE: Oh, Judy...isn't...this is..I
remember seeing this in the attic when we were little girls...this is Mama's
wedding dress..
JUDY: yeah, it is. Remmeber when Mama died
she askd me to take care of it? Well...I think, seeing as how you're the first
oe of us to get married..I think mama would like you to wear it. I cleaned it
and pressed it, it's all ready for you to wear..(STEFFY gasps)
MERILEE (holding back tears): Oh, Judy!
This...oh, this..I don';t know what to say..
JUDY: I know it fits you. This way...it's
like Mama's with us..
MERILEE (stand up and hold her sister.)
Thank you, Judy..
JUDY (smiles) You’re welcome.
STEFFY: Now open mine! (take out present
from the table and gives it to MERILEE, who eagerly unwraps it)
MERILEE (gasps and holds up sone crystal
goblets): Oh, Steffy, They’re beautiful! Where on earth did you get them?!
STEFFY: From when we wne to Italy, I
bought them secretly just before we left. Hey, you’re my best friend, only the
best for you!
MERILEE (hugs her): Thank you Steffy!
STEFFY: You’re welcome!
DEBBIE: Man, I’m almost jealous! I didn’t
have anyting that fncy!
MERILEE: Oh, I’m sure I’ll love it.
DEBBIE (handing over her gift): Well,
don’t get too excited. It isn’t much! (MERILEE unwraps it, it ends up being a
blander. she laughs)
MERILEE: Oh, Debbie, I love it! I
absolutely LOVE it!
DEBBIE: Ya do?
MERILEE: Of course, it’s practical! We
could use this! Plug it in to any hotel room in the morning..I could make him
smothies! (all laugh) Thank you, Debbie.
DEBBIE: You’re welcome, Meri. I’m glad you
like it.
MELODY (in a spirit of play grabs a banana
and holds it up to Merilee like she was interviewing her.) So, Merilee, tell us
all, how do you feel right now, right at this moment?
MERILEE (laughing): How do I feel? (stands
up) Well, I’ll tell you how…(music starts. Sings)
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.
I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real. (runs
over to a mirror)
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!
GIRLS (except for JUDY, teasingly)
Have you met my good friend Meri,
The craziest girl on the block?
You'll know her the minute you see her,
She's the one who is in an advanced state
of shock.
She thinks she's in love.
She thinks she's in Spain.
She isn't in love,
She's merely insane.
It must be the heat
Or some rare disease,
Or too much to eat
Or maybe it's fleas.
Keep away from her,
Send for Butch!
This is not the
Merilee we know!
Modest and pure,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!
MERILEE (daning around in a state of
happiness)
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the city should give me its key.
A committee
Should be organized to honor me.
GIRLS
La la la la . . .
MERILEE
I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!
GIRLS
La la la la . . .
MERILEE
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
GIRLS
What mirror where?
MERILEE
Who can that attractive girl be?
GIRLS
Which? What? Where? Whom?
MERILEE
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
GIRLS
Such a pretty me!
ALL
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!
(the song ends in a joyous dance as the
same SHADOW is quickly seen again by the window for a half a second, the
quickly vanishes)
Scene 8
As the lights slowly come up again, we are now in what looks like an office
dimly lit. But there are two windows to either side of it and you can plainly
see this place is underwater due to the water bubbles and fish swimmming around
outside. A huge Confederate flag is against the wall and in front of it is a
large, burly, set man. He is balding and speaks with a Southern accent. TORNADO
SHANKS- he is the Commmander of the Sealab. He s very southern and racist. He
basically loves power and decieves people into believeing he really is doing
the right thing. He is rather stupid although he likes to pretend he's smart
cause HE'S in charge. Right now he is counting what looks like foreign
currency.
SHANKS: 1,143, 1,144, 1,145, 1,146,
1,147...oh sweet Mother of God, who says that what we're doing is a crime?!
(picks up stack of money, flips it in his hands) Santa baby, put this under MY
tree! Thank you! (proceeds to put down stack and count individual dollars
again) 1,148, 1,149, 1,150...(knock is heard at the door) Come on in!
(door pens and DR. QUINTEN
QUINN enters. He is
African-American, and one of the few people in this Sealab that is actually
smart...although he’s about as immoral as the rest of them.)
QUINN: Hi..uh...what are you doing?
SHANKS: Hey there, Quinn. I was just
totalin' up our profits. they got sent down here to us just this morning!
QUINN: (lauging) Ya mean they FINALLLY got
the pay down here?!
SHANKS: Yeah, ain't it great?! Look see
here! (shows QUINN)
QUINN: Uh...those don't look like American
money!
SHANKS: that's cause they AIN'T! It's
French!
QUINN: Oh, don't tell me you..
SHANKS: HEY, I said I was! Ya said it
yourself we ain't gettin NO satifaction from God Bless America! So we have to
get money somewhere!
QUINN: But you sold top secret research to
a country that right now HATES us!!
SHANKS: I recken so, but the pay is
nice...here's a cut for you! (hands over stack to QUINN)
QUINN: WOW..I mean with all this..I can
afford to go back to my cloning research!
SHANKS: Yeah..ain't sneaking around
great?!
QUINN: Well…I mean…I mean, what am I
saying….Shanks, don’t you ralise what we’ve done! We’ve just committed major
treason! Uncle Sam is NOT gonna like this!
SHANKS: I reckon they won’t...but it’s
their own fault. They were the ones keeping the money from us. You said so
yourself, you had no money for any of your research…
QUINN: Yeah..
SHANKS: And congratulations! Now ya do!
QUINN: Yeah..but, Shanks do you realise we
may all be in danger?!
SHANKS: Well..
QUINN” Do you realise they might be
sending people down here to arrest us any minute?!
SHANKS (waves his hands): Ah…I’m taking
care of that.
QUINN: You are?!
SHANKS: That’s right, Einstien. And you
could help me out..you and your lab can come through for us.
QUINN: Look, Shanks, I don’t know. I mean,
bad enough we’re committing serious treason and any minute now..
SHANKS (waves more money): Did I mention
that I was gonna give you a nice big chucnk of this pay JUST for helping me
out….
QUINN (stares at money): Then again, he who
hesitates….what do you want me to do?
SHANKS: Meet me in your lab, I’;ll fill ya
in on the plan. The better it goes, the more money you can have for your
research.
QUINN: Whoa, sweet! (rushes off. SHANKS
stays behind and stares at the money. Phone rings, he picks it up)
SHANKS: Hello? Oh, hey Pierree….yeah yeah
Bonquorie to ya too. Look, I got some more research for ya. Yeah, guys just
found out more yesterday. Oh, and I think I might have some cloning research
for ya as well. Yeah, give me a few weeks, but as soon as I got it, it’s yours
for the taking. No, thank YOU. Yeah, Ok, Ok, I’ll havd over the research, you
hand over the money. Our usual meeting place? All right. Tell the government of
France I said ‘Hey’. See ya…yeah yeah Au revorie..(hangs up. He stares at the
money with a huge wicked grin on his face. Slowly he stands up and sings
mockingly and off-key) God bless America!
Land that I love!
Stand beside her
And guide her,
With the right with the light from above!(walks around the desk)
From the mountains,
To the Praries,
To the oceans,
White with foam! (starts up stairs)
God bless America!
My home, sweet home! (laughs manicingly as lights slowly go down one small
light remains on desk with money for a few seconds as the laughter comes louder
and louder. Lght slowly goes out)
Scene 9
When the lights come on, MERILEE is
sitting in the kitchen, sipping at a cup of coffee. It’s early in the morning.
JUDY comes downstairs.
JUDY: Morning, Meri.
MERILEE: Morning.
JUDY: So, Frank tells me that you’ve
decided to marry on May 15th?
MERILEE: That’s right. I mean no June
bride for me. I always did want to be a May bride.
JUDY: That’s only in a few weeks, little
sister. Do you think you can plan a wedding in that short amount of time? (LORI
enters the kitchen)
MERILEE: Well, we aren’t planning a
wedding, there isn’t enough time. We’re gonna get married at City Hall, I was
gonna tell you and Frank what time when we make the reservations.
LORI (sitting down): Meri, you can’t. A
wedding should be special occasion. A gift from the bride’s family!
MERILEE: But there isn’t time for a real
wedding. We don’t know when Mr. Socrates might call us for a mission. Between
missions and concerts we can’t possibly plan a wedding. I mean we’re lucky if
we can get away for one day on a vacation!
LORI: What if, we could plan the wedding?
MERILEE: You?
JUDY :Yeah! I mean, this house is your
house too, you can get married right here! I mean, we can use the living room
for the ceremony just rearrange all the chairs and bring in some tables for the
reception. Keep the food right here in the kitchen until then..
LORI: Heck, we can make the food right
here!
JUDY: Yes we can!
MERILEE: It’s a big job, are you sure YOU
have the time for it?
JUDY: Hey, Merilee, my little sister is
NOT going to get married, get herself all dressed up in Mama’s wedding dress
for a City Hall wedding! Lori and I will arrage everyting!
LORI: That’s right you just tell us
EVERYTHING you want, and we’ll make it happen!
JUDY: And you WILL be going on a Honeymoon
as well! I’ll have Frank give Mr. Socrates a call. I think after all you’ve
done for this country you’ve all earned one! A NICE LONG one!
MERILEE (holding up her hand): Whoa whoa!
Let me give Butch a call first and OK this with him! I mean, I’m not the only
one involved, ya know! (they laugh. JUDY points to the phone)
JUDY: Give him a call now! He must be up
by now!
MERILEE: I can pretty much garentee it,
he’s always been an early riser. (goes to phone, picks it up and goes into next
room. Back door pens and JOSIE, MELODY, ad VALERIE enter)
JOSIE: Hey, Judy!
JUDY: Hi, Josie, Valerie, Melody.
MELODY: Hi, Judy! (sits down. LORI goers
to pour them some coffee)
LORI: What brings you all here today?
JOSIE: Well, we came to see Merilee. She’s
still here, right?
(MERILEE comes back in, still on phone)
MERILEE: Ok, it is? Yeah I agree, I didn’t
really like the idea myself.. Sure sure, I’ll tell them. Today? On the beach?
Our usual place? All right, I’ll be there. Yeah, sure we can talk more about it
and then I’ll tel her. Oh, I’m so glad. Ok, I love you. See you later. Bye
Sweetheart…(hangs up, turns back to LORI and UDY, realizing they heard her and
is a bit embarrassed. Hi, guys…oh Josie, Valerie, Melody you’re here too!
JUDY: So?
MERILEE: He says he thinks you’re all
wonderful and he’s touched that you wanna do this..
LORI: And?
MERILEE: And he agreed! We’re gonna get
married right here! (all clap)
JOSIE: So, the wedding is May 15th, right
here?
MERILEE: Right here!
JOSIE: that;s wonderful, cause we were in
town and we were wondering..
MERILEE: Yeah?
JOSIE: Well, we would be honored, Merilee,
if you would let us sing at your wedding! For the wedding, reception, or both,
we would love to.
MERILEE: OK.
JOSIE: Really? Cool!!
Scene 10
About two weeks later. MERILEE and BUTCH
are walking hand in hand on a stretch of sand at the beach.
BUTCH: I can’t believe how much our
familes are helping out!
MERILEE (laughing): They REALLY want both
of us to be married off quickly. (she sighs) I can’t believe that it’s only in
just a few more days!
BUTCH (gazing at her): Yeah. Can’t believe
we finally got a moment to ourselves!
MERILEE: Thank God for the ice cream man
so Steffy and Wally can get their cravings!
BUTCH: Well, I know I didn’t feel like
any, but why don’t you go?
MERILEE: Oh, Butch, I have to watch my
figure, to be your svelte bride!
BUTCH (laughs): Oh, Meri, you look
gorgeous just as you are!
MERILEE: Yeah, yeah…
BUTCH (pulls her close to him, she wraps
her arms around his neck): I mean it, you know that. I’d marry you no matter
how you looked! (MERILEE lays her head on BUTCH’S shoulder, BUTCH strokes her
hair) I love you, Merilee Rose Anderson. Now and always. (kisses the top of her
head) You honestly realise this is probably one out of maybe three moments we
REALLY got to spend alone since we announced our engagement?
MERILLE (lifts her head): Let’s not waste
it. (they kiss tenderly. Their arms wrap around one another as the kiss gets
deeper. Just then a loud buzing noise is heard. They break apart. BUTCH
glances at his left hand and sighs openly)
BUTCH: It’s Mr. Socrates. (MERILEE
groans) I know, I know.
MERILEE: Honestly, someone should program ‘alone time’ into his circuts.
BUTCH: yeah, I know. You get Steffy and
Wally, I’ll answer the call. (MERILEE nods. As she goes off we see the SHADOW
again, staring at them from behind a pillar. The SHADOW runs under a peir and
we see him pull out his communicator again to get in touch with SHANKS)
SHANK’S VOICE: Yeah?
SHADOW: I think it’s finally gonna happen.
From what I gathered their boss just called them.
SHANK’S VOICE: Well, we’ll never be able to
follow them INTO the agency, I hear that place has more security than Fort Knox
and we have to know how to power that main computer in order to gain access.
Just saty outside the Agency, out of sight. I got Quinn working on our ‘present’ for them! Report back when you’re able
to get info, just follow them and stay out of sight.
SHADOW: Right. (shuts off communicator)
SCENE 11
The inside of the WORLD WIDE TALENT
AGENCY. WALLY, STEFFY, MERILEE, and BUTCH enter the front hall. On the outside
it resembles a normal building. On the inside, however, are masses of important
people, many security counters, hi tech (for the 70’s) equipment. The KIDS
present their badges at the front door and head to the main desk, where DOTTIE
is sitting.
BUTCH: Hi, Dottie.
DOTTIE: Hi, Kids. Go right on in, Mr
Socrates is expecting you.. (the KIDS enter a door to the right and get on a
moving pathway leading to another door. Security cameras follow them. The
walkway stops at the door.
BUTCH (speaking into his ring): The Sundance
Kids and Butch Cassidy reporting, Sir. (door opens and pathway moves, bringing
them into the room)
MR. SOCRATES’S VOICE: Come in, please.
(ELVIS tries to enter, STEFFY stops him)
STEFFY: Hold it, Elvis. You know you can’t
come in, Mr. Socrates is allergic to you. (ELVIS whines, but stays outside)
We are now inside. The room is very dimly
lit, but the tall, imposing figure of the main computer, MR. SOCRATES, is
taking up the entire room. There are vary many switches and lights that blink
on and off. There is a huge monitor directly in the front.
BUTCH: You wanted to see us, Mr. Socrates?
MR. SOCRATES (In a big, booming voice):
Yes. You are wanted on a very important misson..
WALLY: It better not last too long, Mr.
Socrates, after all its just a few days until the wedding.
MR. SOCRATES: I promise, I will tell you
the details quick so that you may complete this mission quick. You have been
booked to proform at the opening of the new Sea City Amuzement park.
WALLY: An amuzement park?
MR. SOCRATES: However, that is only your
cover. Our government a few months ago foresaw a top secret mission to explore
the oceanic floor to find maybe new cures in the plant life or discover a brand
new species of animals..(scenes from the experiments are now shown on his
monitor). However, we now have reason to believe that the scientists we have
assigned to work down may have been selling the knowledge they have discovered
to our nations enemies for more money.
STEFFY: That’s outright treasonous!
Mr. SOCRATES: Indeed. Your mission is to
infiltrate this underwater lab and capture these embezzlers. Her is more
information pertaring to the case. (an envelope flies out of the slot
underneath the monitor and lands in BUTCH’S hand. Just then the lights begin to
turn a deep shade of crimson and the buzzers get louder.) Ah…eh…ah…wha…is
that…is that dog in here?! Out…ah..ah..CHOO!!! (all KIDS turn and see ELVIS
prop the door open with his nose and he wanders over the the KIDS barking
happily)
BUTCH: No, no, Elvis, out!! (WALLY grabs
his collar and leads him out. All KIDS start out on the walkway)
MR. SOCRATES: Good bye, good luck….and
DON’T BRING THAT DOG IN HERE AGAIN!!
Scene 12
We are now in the Sealab. SPARKS,
the man in charge of radio transmissions, is picking something up. He is a
rather young man who always wears his headsets and never gets out of his chair
no matter what. He hit’s a few buttons on the huge radio equipment that takes
up all of one wall.
SPARKS: Attention, Shanks, I’m picking up
some signals.
(door to the right opens, SHANKS enters)
SHANKS: yeah?
SPARKS: I have some transmissions picked
up on our equipment.
SHANKS (goes oer to equpment): Ah, OK,
it’s Stormy. (hit’s a few buttons) Yeah?
STORMY’S VOICE: Ok, it’s happeneing
tomorrow night.
SHANKS: Where?
STORMY: The Amuzement Park, right above
us!
SHANKS: When?
STORMY: Eight O’ Clock.
SHANKS: All right, that should give us
plenty of time. You come back down here so we can have a final meeting to
confirm the final plan. Hopefully Quinn will have our ‘present’ finished by
then.
STORMY: Check, see ya in a while!
SHANKS: Why a while?
STORMY: Well, I saw some real cute Ladies
down here and I kinda…
SPARKS: ladies? Wow, I’ll be right up there!
(tried to leave- still in his chair. SHANKS gives chair a pull back as SPARKS
groans)
SHANKS: Come back NOW!
STORMY (growls): All right, all right…
Scene 13
We see the interior of the jet. BUTCH is
flying, MERILEE is sting next to him, opening the envelope. STEFFY is sitting
behind MERILEE. WALLY is next to her with ELVIS in the middle of the two of
them.
BUTCH: What do the orders from Mr.
Socrates say, Merilee?
MERILEE (reading from envelope): According
to orders, these eople were responsible fr underwater experiments, but when
they demanded more money and the government refused, that’s when they started
embezzling. We’re to stay in the Sea Veiw hotel..
BUTCH: Because that’s near where the
underwater lab is?
MERILEE: You guessed it. Our orders are to
infiltrate the Lab and bring in the embezzlers.
WALLY: Uh, I don’t know, you think we can
really do this in four days?
BUTCH: Sure we can!
MERILEE: And if not we can just call Judy
and ask her to postphone it for a day or two. (playfully taps BUTCH on the
head) And that’s ALL we’re gonna do is postphone it for a few days. You’re not
getting out of it sweet heart…
WALLY: Would you like to jump out now or
wait till we’re over the place?
STEFFY: Wally! (all laugh)
BUTCH (teasing): Ya mean I have a choice?
(laughs) Is that a promise? (MERILEE playfully slaps the side of his arm
as they all laugh. BUTCH smiles tenderly at MERILEE and takes her jeweled hand.
He lifts it up and kisses it. They smile at each other as BUTCH resumes looking
out the windshield)
Scene 14
We see the outside of the Sea City
Amuzement Park. Thousands of fans are there to greet the and the OWNER OF PARK
is also there. The outside of the jet is next to him with the door open.
The KIDS come out one by one.
OWNER: Welcme, Mr. Cassidy, a pleasure to
have you all here.
BUTCH (shakes his hand): Thank you very
much.
OWNER (looking around): Now, wich one of
these two lovely ladies is the lucky bride-to-be?
MERILEE (giggling and rasing her hand):
That would be me
OWNER (shakes her hand): Well, let me say
congratulations!
MERILEE: Thank you.
OWNER: This way, please, I will take you
to your hotel.
BUTCH: Thank you very much. (goes off,
with OWNER leading the way. Out of the crowd comes STORMY, watching them
intently before turning left and disappearing into a nearby store)
Scene 15
We are now on the inside of the hotel. A
lovely huge room with two bedrooms. Fine decorations are seen all around.
The OWNER leads the KIDS into it and gives BUTCH the key.
OWNER: Here is your room. The ladies will
occupy the room on the gith,t he gentilemen on the left. We’ll be looking
forward to your concert tomorrow.
BUTCH: Thank you very much (OWNER leaves)
Ok, guys, make yourself at home, Wally, make sure we have our diving suits and
fresh air tanks in the back of our car, that way directly after the concert we
can go under and start the investigation.
MERILEE: I’ll make sure my disguise kit is
also there, I may have to use it.
BUTCH: Good thinking, Merilee
STEFFY: Well, we’ve got to make sure we
CAN finish in three days!
WALLY: Two actually. Butch can’t see
Merilee before the ceremony, ya know!
BUTCH (smiles, and grabs his heart
playfully): Wally, you’re killing me! (all laugh). Ok, Kids, now get
comfortable, We have a long day tomorrow…
Scene 16
We now see the outside of the Sealab. The
people, now with STORMY amoung them, sounds like they’re in the midst of a
small party, They’re doing all kinds of crazy dances as MARCO (the only
Hispanic one there) starts bring out beer)
MARCO (singing):Shiny happy people
laughing
Meet me in the crowd
ALL (singing):People people
Throw your love around
Love me love me
Take it into town
Happy happy
Put it in the ground
MARCO (singing):Where the flowers grow
ALL (singing):Gold and silver shine
MARCO (singing):Shiny happy people holding
hands
DEBBIE (singing):Shiny happy people
laughing
MARCO (singing): Everyone around love
them, love them
Put it in your hands
Take it take it
ALL (singing): There's no time to cry
Happy happy
Put it in your heart
Where tomorrow shines
MARCO (singing):Gold and silver shine
MARCO (singing):Shiny happy people holding
hands
DEBBIE(singing): Shiny happy people
laughing
All start to do a silly dance around the
lab. Interrupted suddenly with the apperance of SHANKS from the door. He’s
carrying a diarama of him as GENERAL PATTON in front of a huge flag, a direct
rip-off of the movie ‘Patton’.
SHANKS: I suppose you’re all wondering why
I called you al here. Well, it wasn’t to show you all my diarama of me as
General Patton, from the movie of the same name. (knocks it over). Damn. OK,
now, where was I? Oh yes, we’ve just gotten a confirmation by Stormy..(STORMY
steps forward and bows) That IT’S gonna happen tomorrow nght.
(all chatter)
HESH: Uh…what’s gonna happen?
SHANKS: Well, what do you think, Weirdo,
what have we all been talking about for these past two weeks?
DEBBIE (gasps): Y…you mean..it’s official?
They’ve discovered us?
SHANKS: ‘Fraid so. They’ve sent a number
of Government agents to come down here and arrest us for teason and
embezzlement.
(all start to panic)
DEBBIE: But…what are we gonna do?
SHANKS (pauses): Take care of it…right
Quinn
QUINN: Got it all ready.
SHANKS (nods): Good. Now, here’s the plan.
See, these agents are undercover as a rock group…so they’re on the stage
performing tomorrow night. When they’re performing, Quinn, you take your
device, then we all go up. We act as a lookout while you plant it in the car..
QUIN: Gotcha..
SHANKS (as lights go out): The rest of us
will be….
Scene 17
The lights go up slowly to indicate the
dawn slowly coming up. As we slowly see the stage we see a fancy hotel room.
MERILEE is sleeping in one bed , STEFFY is sleeping in the other. Slowly
MERILEE is waking up. She stretches her arms and yawns. Sitting up she looks at
STEFFY who is waking uo as well. STEFFY sits up in bed and smiles at MERILEE
MERILEE: Morning.
STEFFY: Morning. (MERILEE opens the
window, while STEFFY is making her bed. MERILEE goes over and makes hers. They
sit on their beds, facing each other)
MERILEE: It’s such a beautiful day out.
STEFFY: Yeah, well, hopefully it’ll be
like this for the next three days!
MERILEE: Oh, I hope it will. Even if its
not, I feel so happy that I feel like I’m just floating on a cloud..
STEFFY (laughing): Merilee, you’re ALWAYS
happy and cheerful! You’re more happy and cheerful than anyone I’ve ever met!
MERILEE: I am, aren’t I? (they laugh) oh
Steffy, I just feel so different than I ever have before! I mean, I know we’re
going to begin a very serious mission after the concert..but I feel…so
special…I feel like we can achieve anything I the world just seeing him…oh you
don’t know what it does to me!
STEFFY (teasingly): Ah yes, ‘just seeing
him’. Just seeing him for lunch, just seeing him for dinner, just seeing him
before band practice, just seeing him AFTER band practice, just seeing him on
the stage, just seeing him during our missions, just seeing him AFTER our missions,
just seeing him until 10 at night, and at 8 in the morning we wake up, we go to
breakfast and he’s there again! …’Just seeing him…’
MERILEE (laughing): I don’t care, I’m in
love! (gets up and goes to window, staring out) I just can’t describe what I
feel. I feel like, even though this is a dangerous mission, nothing on earth
can go wrong with HIM in my world!
STEFFY: Oh, you’ve GOT it bad!
MERILEE: So bad! (they laugh): Now you
have your Maid-Of-Honor dress all ready, right?
STEFFY: Yep, and Wally’s tuxedo is ready
too.
MERILEE: Great. (STEFFY goes into the
bathroom, MERILEE takes out a fresh band uniform from her suitcase, a bra,
underwear, and deoderant. She goes behind a partition and begins to change. The
music come on and she starts to sing)
Sings: Here I dress for the man I love,
He really makes my whole day,
He’s the sweetest, kindest man I know,
He’s love grows with me the whole way.
Oh yeah,
Looks like Heaven to me,
With him,
Is where I wanna be.
Hold on,
I’m a victem of circumstance.
True love’s got a hold on me,
And I don’t stand a chance!
I love him, and he loves me,
I wanna hold him close and tight, (finishes and goes to table, begins to comb
her hair)
The diamond shines upon my hand,
Like my love all day and night.
Oh yeah,
Looks like Heaven to me,
With him,
Is where I wanna be.
Hold on,
I’m a victem of circumstance.
True love’s got a hold on me,
And I don’t stand a chance!
We’ll
stand at the alter in only three days,
We’ll be by each other’s sides.
Soon we’ll be saying our ‘I do’s’
He’s
my groom, and I’m his bride! (goes and gets her go-go boots, sits on bed, and
puts them on)
Oh yeah,
Looks like
Heaven to me,
With him,
Is where I wanna
be.
Hold on,
I’m a victem of
circumstance.
True love’s got a
hold on me,
And I don’t stand
a chance! (she’s so happy, she takes pillow from bed, twirls around and throws
it back, jumping on it herself, throwing her arms in air)
True love’s
got a hold on me,
And I don’t
stand a chance! (quick backout)
Scene 18
We see what looks like a bathroom. BUTCH
is standing in the mirror in his pajamas, finishing shaving. WALLY then enters
with a washcloth and a bar of soap. BUTCH looks at him and smiles.
BUTCH: Morning, Wally. Looks like you
finally got up.
WALLY: Yeah, well, I ddn't want ya coming
in and tugging at my hair in order to do it!
BUTCH (laughing): Well, it;s your own fault,
Wally, for getting that thick perm. makes it easier to get you up!
WALLY (laughs back and gives BUTCH'S curls
a tug): Yeah, so tell me, Butch, when you went to your sister's to tell her of
your engagement, did she stop giving you the old 'When are you gonna cut this
hair' question?
BUTCH (laughs): Well, now it was changed
to, 'You wanna look as handsome as you can get on your weding day, don't you?
So..' (WALLY joins in like he's heard this a hundred times before)
BUTCH and WALLY: chop off this mane and
look like a man! (they laugh and affectinately punch each other's
shoulders.)
WALLY: Well, you're lucky you're my best
friend, that's all! I'd only let YOU do that, Butch! (grabs razor from BUTCH's
hand) So, how are ya anyway, Buddy? Only three more days left to live! (Grabs
BUTCH from behind,makes motion of cutting BUTCH'S throat with razor while
giving a sharp zipping sound. BUTCH laughs and grabs back the razor)
BUTCH: Stop it! Seriously, I'm feeling
great.
WALLY: Not too nervous at all, Butch?
BUTCH: Not a bit, Wally.
WALLY (turning on water): Not even a
little bit?
BUTCH: Nope.
WALLY: Gee, Butch, how do you do it?
BUTCH: Well, Wally, we've been fighting
against some of the worst criminals in the world. We've tangled many armed and
dangerous people to help our country. What's walking down the aisle and
exchanging vows? It's nothing at all.
WALLY: I hope I feel that way when its MY
turn.
BUTCH: You will, ol' Buddy, you will. Oh,
did you see wat Merile gave to me the other day?
WALLY: What?
(BUTCH shows WALLY a new watch on his
wrist. WALLY whistles)
WALLY: Wow, that's gorgeous! Whe dd she
give you that?
BUTCH: Two nights ago. She sais that the
ring was her engagement present..so she gave me this watch as my enganement
present.
WALLY: A nice way to make sure you get to
the Churc on time!
BUTCH (laughs)That, too. (both men laughas
BUTCH finishes shaving and walks out the door. WALLY starts to wash his face as
the lights go down.
Scene 19
Separate lights go on now on the different
singers. The SEALAB crew (without QUINN, DEBBIE or SPARKS) are now out of their
uniforms to indicate they are now on land. DEBBIE is in her own separate
spotlight, very mistily lit as if she was in her bedroom. She looks like she’s
putting on a teddy. All are looking forward to the coming of night, but
for very different reasons.
SHANKS: It’s almost time, you guys do know
what to do…(all nod) You all got your assignments?
STORMY: Right, Shanks.
MARCO: You got it.(music starts)
ALL (singing): Sealab is gonna have it‘s
day, tonight!
Sealab is gonna have it‘s way, tonight!
The government will mumble
’Fair fight!’
But if those agents rumble,
We’ll rumble them right!
We’re gonna hand them a surprise, tonight!
We’re gonna cut them down to size, tonight!
The Leader, Paul Newman will
Go down!
And when he’s down there bleeding,
We’ll tear up the town,
Tonight!
We’re gonna rock it tonight,
We’re gonna jazz it up and have us a ball!
They’re gonna get it tonight,
The more they pile it on the harder they fall!
MARCO,ARCHIE, HESH (singing): Well, they
began it!
SHANKS, STORMY, BLACK DEBBIE(singing): And
we will end it!
ALL(singing): And we’re the ones to win it
once and for all!
Tonight!
DEBBIE: Little Debbie’s gonna get some
kicks,
Tonight!
We’ll have a private little mix,
Tonight!
They’re walking hot and tired,
Poor dears,
No matter if they’re tired,
As long as they’re here!
Tonight…
(BUTCH is polishing his guitar. Light
comes on him as he sings ‘Tonight’ along with DEBBIE. DEBBIE fades out as he
sings): Tonight, tonight,
Won’t be just any night,
Tonight there will be no morning star.
Tonight, tonight,
I’ll see my love tonight,
And for us, stars will stop,
Where they are!
Today the minutes seem like hours,
The hours go so slowly
And still the sky is light.
Oh, moon, grow bright,
And make this endless day, endless night!
SEALAB (as QUINN and DEBBIE join them,
QUINN holding something in his hands, singing): We’re counting on you to be
there,
Tonight!
When we win this fair and square,
Tonight!
Those square no-fun agents will,
Go down!
And when they’re out of our way,
We’ll tear up the town!
(lights come up on MERILEE as she sings
over ALL)
MERILEE (singing):
Tonight, tonight,
Won’t be just any night,
SHANKS (to QUINN, singing): So I can count
on you, boy?
QUINN (singing):
All right.
MERILEE(singing):
Tonight there will be no morning star.
Tonight, tonight,
SHANKS(singing):
You’re gonna flatten them good?
QUINN (singing):
All right.
SHANKS (speaking):
Unstoppable!
QUINN(speaking):
Completely!
SHANKS (Singing):
I’ll see you there about 8.
QUINN (singing):
Tonight!
MERILEE (singing):
I’ll see my love tonight,
DEBBIE(singing):
Tonight
MERILEE (singing):
And for us, stars will stop,
DEBBIE(singing):
Tonight.
Late tonight.
MERILEE (singing):
Where they are!
DEBBIE(singing):
We’re gonna mix it tonight!
BUTCH AND MERILEE (singing): Today the
minutes seem like hours,
DEBBIE (singing):
Debbie is gonna have her day!
BUTCH AND MERILEE (singing): The hours go
so slowly
DEBBIE(singing): Debbie is gonna have her
day!
SEALAB (singing): We’re gonna stop, them,
this will end!
BUTCH AND MERILEE (singing): And still the
sky is light.
DEBBIE (singing):
The boys are gonna have their way!
Tonight.
SEALAB(singing):
They’ll never stop us, ever will!
HESH, SHANKS, BLACK DEBBIE(singing): We’ll
stop them once and for all!
QUINN, ARCHIE, STORMY, MARCO
(singing):We’ll stop them once and for all!
BUTCH AND MERILEE (singing): Oh, moon,
grow bright,
DEBBIE(singing):
This very night…
SEALAB (singing):
We’re gonna rock it tonight!
BUTCH AND MERILEE (singing): And make this
endless day, endless night!
ALL (singing): Tonight!
(quick blackout)
Scene 20
Outside of the theater, a big grey building.
A small car is directly in front of it. We can tell it’s the Butch Cassidy car
cause it is painted with the trademark colors, pink, yellow, and white with BC
spray painted upon it. QUINN sneaks onto the scene and uses a device on the
front door. He puts it on, twirls a few dials and presses a few buttons. Turns
on his communicator. SHANK’S voice is heard.
SHANKS: Yeah? You done it?
QUINN: I turned off the alarms
SHANKS: Good, now do it…
QUINN: I’m on it! (turns off the communicator,
looks around him carefully. Then uses another device to open the front of the
car. He places metal complicated object he was holding in the previous scene
and fiddles with it in the car. After a few minutes he presses communicator.)
SHANKS: Yeah?
QUINN: It’s in.
SHANKS: We good?
QUINN: We good.
SHANKS: Get out of there.
QUINN: Right! (runs off)
Scene 21
(We are now in the actual theater. BUTCH,
MERILEE, STEFFY, AND WALLY are in their places onstage, playing to an
overexcited crowd.)
Sings: So good to be in a good time band,
Playing our music all over the land!
Making some new friends,
Hitting the road again,
Destination somewhere,
I’ll
be so happy when we get there,
A
long way to travel but we don’t care,
Destination somewhere.
Happy
to be in a good time band,
Leaving today for a one night stand,
What did
the man say?
Have
to leave right away,
Desitination somewhere,
I’ll be so happy
when we get there,
A long way to travel
but we don’t care,’
Destination somewhere.
Happy to be in a good
time band,
So good to be in a good
time band,
Happy to be in a good time
band,
So good to be in a good time band…(audience
applauds as the BAND bows)
Scene 22
BUTCH, MERILEE, STEFFY, and WALLY
file out with their instruments. The slowly pile them into the trunk of the
car. Slowly they all go one by one into the car, which BUTCH starts up. During
the scene the car is taken offstage and the SEALAB people slowly creep out from
behind the bushes, QUINN holding what looks like a remote control in his hands.
He glances to SHANKS, who nods. QUINN then turns it on and the voices of the
BAND are heard coming out of it.
BUTCH’S VOICE: OK, Kids, now we quickly
race over to the peir and change into our diving suits to start finding the
Sealab.
WALLY’S VOICE (sighing): I’m a drummer,
not an agent. Why do I get dragged into this?
STEFFY’S VOICE: Wally, if we don’t do this
this could be our last assignment!
WALLY’S VOICE: See? There’s a bright side
to everything!
SHANKS (laughing)” Don’t worry, buster. It
can be arranged! (To QUINN) Now! (QUINN begins to use the small dial on the
device. Everyone listens intently.)
BUTCH’S VOICE: HEY! What…what..
MERILEE’S VOICE: Butch? What’s going on?!
WALLY’S VOICE: Butch, you’re going way too
fast!
MERILEE”S VOICE: Butch, slow down!
BUTCH: I can’t! Something’s taken hold…I
can’t control the wheel…
SHANKS: That’s right there, Leader Boy! We
got it now!
DEBBIE (looking through the small monitor
on the device): Oh, wow, make it swipe, Quinn, make it swipe!!
QUINN: Make it swipe, all right…never
could resist a sexy lady…(swings dial from side to side, screaming is heard)
WALLY’S VOICE: What’s going on?!?!
STEFFY’S VOICE: Do something!!
BUTCH’S VOICE: I can’t. I think someone’s
tampered with our car!
STORMY: Ya think?! (all laugh) Hey, Quinn,
Quinn, lets have them go on a little ‘around the world trip!!
QUINN: All right, all right..(swirls dial
around and around) There she goes, one big circle!! (Screams are heard)
WALLY’S VOICE: I’M BAILING OUT!!!!
SHANKS: Don’t think so, Chum!
WALLY’S VOICE: Hey, I can’t get the door’s
open!
STEFFY’S VOICE: The doors are locked!
BUTCH’S VOICE: I can’t put on the brake!!
MERILEE’S VOICE: Everyone open your
windows!
WALLY’S VOICE: We can’t!! Merilee, we
can’t!!
BUTCH’S VOICE: Quick, grab something,
smash the windows!!
SHANKS: Uh oh, we better hurry and finish
this! Put the overall plan into action, Quinn!
QUINN: Here it comes!! (slowly pulls up
main switch. Lors of screams are heard)
BUTCH’S VOICE: FIND SOMETHING QUICK!!
STEFFY’S VOICE: LOOK OUT FOR THE WALL!!
MERILEE’S VOICE: WE’RE GONNA HIT!!!
WALLY’S VOICE: LOOK LOOK, EVERYONE LOOK!!!
SHANKS: Not enough time! RAM EM!!! (QUINN
looks in monitor, increases speed…finaly a HUGE crash and loads of screams are
heard. The all fnally start bursting into hysterical laughter)
SHANKS: I did it!
QUINN: We did it!
SHANKS: I did it!
QUINN: We did it!
SHANKS: I did it!!
QUINN: We did it!!
SHANKS: Come on, everybody! Let’s go get
our little rewards!
Scene 23
We now see what looks like a total wreck
that suggests a fatal accident. The car is smashed against the wall with such
an impact it is beyond recognition. The twisted, extremely bloody of the
unconscious KIDS are either in the car or thrown out. The windows are smashed,
and blood is everywhere. The SEALAB people, however, are thrilled with this
picture and they cannot contain their laughter at this incident)
SHANKS: All right, guys, now, pick your
poisen!
STORMY: Wha?!
SHANKS: Ya know, I mean, look through
them, search through the bodies. (to QUINN) You sure they’re all dead?
QUINN: That car hit this wall at over 200
miles per hour!
STORMY: Geez!
QUINN: If they’re not dead…they won’t be
going anywhere for quite a while!
SHANKS: Fantastic! OK, everyone, ya heard
Quinn, they’re all dead…which means..(goes to BUTCH’s body, carefully ppens the
door and searches through his pockets. Takes out his wallet) They aren’t gonna
need this money anymore..
STORMY (getting it, goes to open the trunk
of the car): Hey…(lifts out STEFFY’S guitar) Check out this neat bass!
SHANKS: Ya like it? Keep it, ain’;t gonna
have no use for it! (all laugh. SHANKS sings as music starts)
Sings as he notices: Oh, look at this
money, here in this case,
Never know when you’ll need it in emergencies.
Not like he will anymore! (sees BUTCH’S radio ring)
Here’s a tasty ring,
Pretty little thing,
Wouldn’t want to waste it,
That would really be a crime! (takes ring off BUTCH’s hand, shakes it)
Thank you, sir, I’m in your debt!
STORMY (notices WALLY’s watch, sings):
Here’s a shiny toy!
Take it off the boy (removes watch)
His heart’s no longer going,
And he’s lived his little time,
(listens to watch)But his watch is ticking yet!
SHANKS (sings to audience):Well, someone’s got to clean them up, my friends,
Before the government’s best disappears into the mud.
Someone’s got to collect their odds and ends,
While the gutter’s run with blood.
It’s a world,
Where he dogs eat the dogs.
Where they kill,
For the bones in the street.
And God in his Heaven,
He don’t interfere,
Cause He’s dead,
As the stiffs at my feet!
I raise my eyes to see the Heavens,
And only the moon looks down!
The harvest moon shines down! (sees STORMY to the right)
Speaks: Stormy, what are you
doing?! (STORMY is trying to pick up MERILEE’S body)
DEBBIE: Stormy, get away from the body!
STORMY: Well, hey, Shanks told us we can
take ANYTHING we want…(looks at MERILEE’S body in an inappropriate way) Isn’t
it weird to think that THIS was one really hot human being..
DEBBIE: Yeah it was weird to think of any
of them that way when they were still alive! (finally looks at STORMY’S face)
STORMY!!!
STORMY: What?! What?! (looks at MERILEE,
runs his hand up her leg…slowly touching the bottom of her skirt) Wowee, wowee,
wowee….(tried to lift it up, QUINN stops him)
QUINN: STORMY!!!
STORMY: Hey, Shank said we could have
anything we want…
QUINN: You can’t have her body…
STORMY: Hey, she’s all finished with it!
God you know how many fantasys about her I’ve had…..
DEBBIE: Yeah, you and most of the men in
America…(notices MERILEE’s engagement ring. Goes over to body) Ooh, now THERE’s
a pretty piece of Heaven on earth! (slips off the ring, puts it on her own
finger. Admires it) Ohh, It’s gorgeous!
STORMY: So keep it, not like SHE has any
use for it anymore!
DEBBIE: There’s another ring..looks like
yours, Shanks.
SHANKS: Eh, that’s a girlie ring, you take
that one too, Deb!
DEBBIE: Great!
STORMY: Yeah, you take that..I’ll take
THIS (indicates MERILEE) Oh man, I’m gonna take you home..keep you in my room….
QUINN (goes over to STORMY): Put
her..(makes him let go of her body which falls to the ground) down!!
DEBBIE: Yeah, we’re having no dead bodies
in the lab!
HESH (noticing a scared ELVIS in the
back): hey, guys, check this out..hey, puppy puppy, puppy, puppy…(coaxs ELVIS
out) Wow, look, it’s a dog!
SHANKS: Aw, man we forgot to get the
mutt..
HESH: Hey, let Hesh keep it!
DEBBIE: Hesh..
HESH: Hesh always wanted a puppy! Come on,
let Hesh keep him, can hesh keep him? Huh, please?
SHANKS: hey, you want him, you take care
of him! (suddenly is aware of a police siren) Aw, geez, the cops! Come on all
of you, get all the stuff you want, let’s vemous! Get the damn mut if ya want,
just don’t let him bark, get out, everyone scram!! (everyone runs off as fast
as they can. The stage is slowly going dark as the sirens come quicky, then
slowly die. The faint sounds of ‘God Bless America’ are heard as the stage goes
dark on the smashed car and the bodies. A faint bell is slowly heard chiming
two times, then fading away…)
End of Act One