L: Please be honest with me. I need that more than you being charming and giving me a sympathetic look. Damn it. You know what's going on don't you?
T: Don't you think you're being a little paranoid?
L: Why are you here?
T: I told you I just need
L: How much do you know?
T: I know that you're waiting for test results from the hospital.
L: Didn't we just do this?
T: No, we're not talking about little blue sticks this time Liza. This could be serious. I heard you and Dr. Clader talking at the hospital.
L: Oh, and you just hid in a corner to hear more.
T: No not exactly.
L: Oh you didn't scope it out.
T: No I didn't so why don't you just explain the possibilities. Ok?
L: Why didn't you ask my three hours ago?
T: What so you could give me your I pulled a muscle routine? Spare me the official line.
L: Oh, and you're entitled to more?
T: I didn't ask because I know how you get.
L: Oh and you know everything.
T: No I don't know anything so why don't you just tell me?
L: I might have cancer. Now get the hell out of my house.
T: No, I'm not going anywhere.
L: Oh you know you are so stubborn.
T: Yeah I'm stubborn, if that ticks you off maybe you should hit me. Ok? Go ahead. Pummel me until I'm black and blue. Maybe that will help.
L: Oh fine. You want to help me? Fine then why don't you just cut it out and stitch me up all nice and tight?
T: You don't know whether or not this is
L: Why don't you handle the legal end. Did you bring a last will and testament kit?
T: Why can't you just admit you're scared. Anybody would be.
L: Hey I have organs. Do you want one? Liver, kidney. Take your pick. I have a heart - a slightly used one. Oh I forgot. I reserved that one for my mother.
T: I know you're angry. You've got a perfect right. All I'm saying is you don't have to go through this alone.
L: Everyone Tad, dies alone.
T: You're not dying
L: Popcorn and movies and video cameras aren't going to do it this time.
T: I'm sorry. I used to be a hell of a distraction if nothing else. All I was trying to do was get your mind off the tests. I guess I didn't do a very good job.
T: Cause like it or not, I'm your friend and friends care.
L: You know, I've never asked you for anything.
T: Well you're not exactly the asking kind.
L: Why, why are you doing this? Do you want to earn points in heaven?
T: Liza, if I were in your position I wouldn't mind having someone to hold my hand, to tell me a couple of bad jokes.
L: I'll make a note of that.
T: I wouldn't even mind if it was you.
T: I admit it. I am a jerk. I just don't like the idea of you sitting here by the phone stewing. Does that make you angry? Terrific. Make a list. Better yet, if you let me stick around I'll clean your bathroom while you read a good book.
Tad starts to leave
L: Tad. I don't have any good books.
T: I'll go out and get you one.
L: I don't think any of them would be as good as you
T: You know the big sleep's on. It's good. I mean it's a good movie. I'm not kidding. It's a classic. It's guaranteed to rivet you or put you in a coma.
L: Oh
T: Sorry, that was bad. Forgive me. But if you stick around and watch it with me, this time I'll make the popcorn.
L: Ok
Later scene - They are sitting on couch
T: On the Kinder piece Skye wants to do a montage. I'm not kidding. Close-ups of pills and hypos over blood curdling screams.
L: You've got to be kidding.
T: I wish I were.
L: You never know, she might end up winning an award.
T: Yeah. Silliest talk show. Adam's given her Carte blanch. I tell you the situation is looking hopeless.
L: Can't you talk any sense into her?
T: Nobody wants to. The way we see it if she wants to take off on a kamikaze mission let her. If she crashes and burns she'll be history.
L: And you'll be station manager.
T: No, no my lopsided schtick works better in front of the camera. That's your job. Me host you bwana. Place for everybody.
L: Even people like us?
Later: Watching Movie
L: Who's missing now
T: His sister I think.
L: You know I've seen this a dozen times, and I still get lost
T: Me too. Must be a left brain right brain thing.
Phone rings
L: Will you pick it up
T: Hello. Yes she is can I ask who's calling? Yeah hang on a second. It's Dr. Clader.
Next Days Show
L: So soon?
T: That's a good sign isn't it?
L: I just want to be prepared for this.
T: I can take the call.
L: No, yes.
T: I'll talk you listen. Honey it's easy, you just take this phone and I'll go and get on in the bedroom.
L: No, stay. Dr. Clader? Yeah. Hi. Oh you have the test results back. I could come in the office. No if you can't wait then I can't wait.
L: Yes. Yes. Oh any time. So you are sure? You have all the test results back. Tomorrow? Yeah, I'll just clear my calendar. No I have a friend here. Thank you for your concern. MM-hmm. I'll see you then.
T: You got to go in tomorrow? More tests?
L: Surgery.
T: Liza listen. I'm not going anywhere, OK. I will tell Rudy to put on reruns for the rest of the month if I have to. OK. Whatever you need.
L: It's it's not a tumor
T: What is it?
L: The mass polyp - um the abnormal cells are class 3.
T: What does that mean?
L: It means I don't have cancer. It has to be removed.
T: No cancer.
L: No, it sounds ok.
T: Oh sounds. Honey that sounds terrific. That sounds great.
L: Yeah. Yeah I don't I don't I don't have cancer
T: Those were his exact words, you don't have cancer
L: Yeah the polyp is causing discomfort.
T: But it's benign, right?
L: Yeah I'm ok, I'm healthy. That's not a hallucination was it? I did get the call?
T: No, I was right here, I was your witness, congratulations. So what do we do?
L: Do?
T: Yeah to celebrate.
L: You mean go out
T: Yeah. Why not?
L: No, I have things to do.
T: Liza come on honey, you just go a new lease on life. You you you should be making merry that's what you should be doing.
L: I should be giving thanks to whoever makes these decisions.
T: Salud
L: Well, I'm not really religious.
T: Maybe you should be. Maybe you should thank yourself.
L: Me?
T: Yeah, you got yourself to a doctor honey. You took care of yourself.
L: Oh, was I grateful enough?
T: To who?
L: Dr. Clader.
T: Why? He was just doing his job
L: Yeah, but cervical cancer, you know.
T: You don't have cancer.
L: No no I don't have cancer.
T: It's ok, I understand about this. This could take awhile to sink in.
L: Wow - you, how did you get to be so wise.
T: I know all about it. Well I don't know, a while back I was found underneath a washing machine, and it was pretty touch and go for a minute, but after I pulled out of it I went through the strangest period. I couldn't walk through the bedroom without looking in the mirror a couple of times, to make sure that I was still there to make sure I that I was ok. How do you feel?
T: Well, if you could see what I could see.
L: What do you see?
T: You're all there. End of story honey you're going to be fine.
Liza Hugs Tad - Tad looks shocked as usual
L: Tad?
T: Yea
L: Thanks. I really couldn't have taken that call alone.
T: Don't mention don't mention it
doorbell
T: Well that's weird you expecting anybody?
Scott is at the door
As Tad leaves
L: Tad. I really meant what I said. I really I really really needed a friend.
T: I'm glad I was here
L: Me too.
Song at end of show: We Can Be Kind
From Nancy LaMott's Album Listen to My Heart
So many things we can't control
So many hurts that happen every day
So many heartaches that pierce the soul
So much pain that won't ever go away
How do we make it better?
How do we make it through?
What can we do when there's nothing we can do?
We can be kind.
We can take care of each other.
We can remember that deep down inside we all need the same things.
And maybe we'll find if we are there for each other
That together we'll weather whatever tomorrow will bring.
And it's not enough to talk about it.
Not enough to sing a song.
We must walk the walk about it.
You and I do or die we've got to try and get along.
We can be kind.
We can take care of each other.
We can remember that deep down inside we all need the same things.
And maybe we'll find
If we are there for each other
That together we'll weather whatever tomorrow will bring.
And maybe we'll find
True peace of mind
If we always remember
We can be kind.