Liza:
Well, you know, from now on, it's all-out avoidance.
Tad: Oh, yeah, as if. You're some big expert on romance.
You should write a book -- "the five-minute marriage."
Liza:
Well, you know, from now on, it's all-out avoidance.
Tad: Really?
Liza: Yes.
Tad: You sure?
Liza: Yes.
Tad: Hmm, glad to hear it. That include exes?
Liza: Xs, os, and, you know, everything in between.
Tad: Good for you! Just out of curiosity, what do you consider a stranger on a terrace?
Liza: An in-between.
Tad: Why do I ask? Listen, I may be chasing after a ghost, but as far as I'm concerned, that's nowhere near as pathetic as running after the past.
Liza: I am not.
Tad: You are, too.
You should've seen your face when you found out adam wasn't on the phone.
Liza: I had no face.
Tad: You had a face.
Liza: No, I didn't.
Tad: It was all soft and mushy with big bug eyes going --
Liza: Bug eyes?
Tad: [imitates liza] "Is that him? Is that him?"
Liza: I did not do that. I did not do that.
Tad: [normal voice] You did, too. Come on, admit it -- it's just you and me in this office, all right -- adam chandler still drives you crazy.
Liza: In your dreams.
Tad: No, baby, in your dreams -- and that's the problem -- his name is written across your heart. You're branded.
Liza: I am not.
Tad: You are, too!
Liza: Am not!
Tad: Uh-huh.
Liza: Uh-uh.
Tad: Yuh-huh.
Liza: You are some guy who's just chasing after this phantom.
Tad: A gorgeous phantom.
Liza: Some chick who won't even come near you, I might add.
Tad: [french accent] Yes, monsieur, but the fun is in the chase.
Liza: Yeah, while you keep this little necklace hostage. It's like -- hmm.
Tad: [normal voice] As long as it takes, sister.
Liza: You are so definitel twisted.
Tad: Yeah. Well, coming from you, mrs. Chandler, that's a real compliment.
Previews
Liza: Somebody did answer your ad. A woman's on her way up.
Liza: Four -- no, no five failed marriages, and you're giving me grief on my one!
Tad: Oh, I cannot believe this.
Liza: I have one!
Tad: Here I am, I come to you with an open heart, I share intimate details of a chance encounter, and what do I get, huh? A combination of Dr. Ruth, Dear Abbey, and Tina turner. I'll make you a deal -- from here on out, you stay out of my karma, I'll stay out of yours.
Liza: Fine. Deal.
Tad: No.
Liza: No, I mean it.
Tad: You heard it hear first.
Liza: No, I meant it.
Ryan: Damn, I'm good. I just made this station twice as profitable, boss lady.
Tad: "Boss lady"?
Ryan: Or do you prefer "chief"?
Liza: Chief? No, no, you can call me Ms. Colby.
Tad: What? You actually hired this person?
Ryan: On the spot.
Liza: Yeah.
Tad: Oh!
Ryan: So what do you think? I didn't exactly double profits, but I got two major accounts here. Check out the rate -- 25% higher than what you quoted.
Liza: They didn't freak?
Ryan: I just told them that's the way it was these days. That's all I said. I boosted ad rates, and I knew the clients would still buy -- I knew it. Less than 48 hours.
Liza: Well -- I mean, this really makes a difference.
Ryan: Yeah, you know that "cutting edge" show? That's like total honey.
Tad: "The cutting edge"? You hired him on to "the cutting edge"?
Liza: Wait a second -- he's not co-hosting. He's in sales. Don is retiring --
Tad: I expect to be consulted on anything that concerns my show. Move aside, beaver. As executive producer, I get final say over anything --
Liza: Wait, as producer, I get to say everything.
Tad: Omnipotence noted.
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Liza: Right, I could hire a three-legged blind chicken to bring in revenue, and I could do it. And I don't understand why we have to keep going over this over and over and over again!
Tad: We have to go over it as many times as it takes for you to understand I am not going to lie down and be steamrolled on my show
Liza: Well, maybe if you weren't so preoccupied with phantoms and pieces of bad costume jewelry --
Tad: Whoa, foul. Hang on one second. I'm not about to let you turn around and make this my fault.
Liza: Fault? Fault doesn't even come into it.
Tad: I am a consummate professional. May I remind you I have showed up for work on some of the worst days of my life. [intercom buzzes]
Liza: Excuse me. Liza Colby. Yes. Oh, really. Well, I'll make sure. Hold on. Actually, somebody did answer your ad. A woman's on her way up.
Tad:
Give me the phone. Give me the -- Liza, please, give me the phone. Tad Martin.
Yeah, that's me. She is? How soon? Thank you. It's not what you're
thinking.
Liza: Mm-hmm.
Tad: You're wrong.
Liza: Of course I am.
Tad: This is not a diversion. Now, if you'll excuse me, she's on her way.
Ryan: Well, I hope I didn't cause any problem.
Liza: Oh, yeah. No, no, no. That's sort of the way we communicate. You should really see us argue.
Ryan: Well, my money's on you.
Liza: Well, thanks. Speaking of money, I suppose I should go over your figure.
