Tad and Liza Make a Pact To Be There For Each Other As Friends

May 25, 1998

 

Hayley: You all right?

Liza: Yeah.

Mateo: Where is she?

Hayley: Gone.

Liza: Like a bat out of hell.

Hayley: Liza tried to stop her, but she --

Liza: Yeah, she pushed me and I fell.

Tad: Are you ok?
Liza: Yeah, I'm fine. My pride's hurt a little bit.

Tad: Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

Liza: No, it's not your fault that she's so slippery.

A little later

Tad: yeah, fine. So, blondie, why don't you let me take a look at your noggin here.

Liza: Oh, no, I'm fine. How are you?

Tad: How about me?

Liza: How much heart damage are we talking? Bruised, torn, or broken?

Tad: Well, not that I don't appreciate the concern, but my heart is just fine, thank you.

Liza: No sprain?

Tad: Not even a paper cut. What are you looking at me that way for? Listen, Liza, I was never in love with Camille.

Liza: For sure?

Tad: Yeah, for sure. Ok, I admit I had a brief attack of boomerang obsession, but can you blame me? I went from dixie to you to gloria in a heartbeat. I was starting to get whiplash. Yeah, it was kind of fun to chase after a mysterious, disappearing blond, even if I didn't know her name for weeks.

Liza: I detect a blond pattern here.

Tad: You're right. I wonder what that's about.

Liza: We're supposed to have more fun.

Tad: Yep, and I am such a fun guy.

Liza: You're also a sucker for ladies in distress. You go after them just as soon as the ones who really love you leave you.

Tad: Well, the chain stops here.

Liza: What chain?

Tad: The mangled relationships, on account of I am giving notice. I'm closing up shop. No more romance for Thaddeus J.

Liza: Really?

Tad: Mm-hmm.

Liza: Ever and ever?

Tad: Not for a while.

Liza: Oh, well, this I can't wait to see.

Tad: Care to join me? We could both use a break.

Liza: Like a time-out from my long string of successes? Bite your tongue.

Tad: Oh, gee, what was I thinking?

Liza: I'm just allergic to the concept of love.

Tad: Well, then I got a suggestion for you - how about you and I leave the roses and the moonlight and all that junk where it belongs and we lean on each other for a while, you know -- as pals?

Liza: See, it's easy for you.

Tad: How? How's it easy for me?

Liza: Because you have Jamie, and he loves you and you love him. But he'll love you forever.

Tad: There something you're trying to tell me?

Liza: I'm just thinking about time and posterity and how I'd like to leave my mark on the world.

Tad: Children. Listen, after your divorce, you and adam didn't have one for the road, did you?

Liza: No. I am not pregnant.

Tad: Well, you're thinking about it.

Liza: Oh, for heaven's sakes, I can't have a hypothetical conversation with a friend about a hypothetical situation?

Tad: I don't believe in hypothetical situations.

Liza: Oh, course not. You believe in the here and now -- and, of course, the hereafter.

Tad: You are never going to be alone.

Liza: So is this a pact? We're going to be buddies forever?

Tad: Yeah. Think about it. You'll never be alone, you'll never be without popcorn or vintage movies, and never more than a kiss between us.

Liza: Sounds very safe.

Tad: Well, not really. You still get a lot of the good stuff. You get the arguing and the laughing --

Liza: Ah, arguing.


Tad: Maybe even a little learning, but you just try to stay away from the sex.

Liza: Blessed sanctuary. It's a deal. So are we supposed to skip off into the horizon at this point?

Tad: In a minute. You know the part about the hypothetical situation?

Liza: Yeah?

Tad: I lied. You ever want to have a hypothetical conversation about a hypothetical situation, I'm your guy.

 


Liza: Well, thanks, buddy. I'll keep it in mind.

Tad: Come here. Come on.

 

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