Buffy The Vampire Slayer Quotes

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Well, here are my favourite Buffy The Vampire Slayer Quotes. These are only from the episodes I have seen and I am trying very hard to watch them all before very long. Some of them may not seem funny to read but they remind me of what happened in the ep at the time of the quote and make me smile so I put them in anyway!

Willow: "Giles!"

Xander: "Yo, G-man! What's up?"

Giles: "Nice to see you, and don't ever call me that."

Cordelia: "What are you guys talking about? I'm talking about big, squiggly demons that come from the ground. Remember? Prom Night? With all the vampires?"

Buffy: "Cordelia, your mouth is open. Sound is coming from it. This is never good."

Willow: "Why else would she be acting like such a B-I-T-C-H?"

Giles: "Willow, I think we're a little too old to be spelling things out."

Xander: "A bitca?"

Buffy: "You're a vampire. Oh, I'm sorry. Is that an offensive term? Should I say 'Undead American'?"

Angel: "We need you to distract the vampires."

Buffy: "Right."

Angel: "What are you gonna' do?"

Buffy: "I'm gonna' kill them all. That ought to distract them."

Xander: "You know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too."

Giles: "Hear hear!"

Buffy: "Sorry, but I'm an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and women have the babies."

Principal Snyder: "Sheila has never burnt down a school building."

Buffy: "Well, that was never proven. The fire marshal said it could've been mice."

Principal Snyder: "Mice."

Buffy: "Mice that were smoking?"

Joyce: "What's wrong?"

Buffy: "I spent a good part of my allowance on this new cream rinse, and it's neither creamy nor rinsey."

Sheila: "Did you really burn down a school building one time?"

Buffy: "Well, not actually "one time".

Sheila: "Cool!"

Vampire: "Slayer."

Buffy: "Slayee."

Spike: "As a personal favor, from me to you, I'll make it quick. It won't hurt a bit."

Buffy: "No, Spike. It's gonna' hurt a lot."

Buffy: "So can I go?"

Giles: "I think not."

Buffy: "How come?"

Giles: "Because you are the Chosen One."

Buffy: "Oh, just this once, I'd like to be the Overlooked One."

Willow: "Was if one of those vivid dreams where you could feel his lips and smell his hair?"

Buffy: "It had surround sound."

Richard: "Hi, sweetheart. I'm Richard, and you are...?"

Buffy: "So not interested."

Buffy: "I can't wait for the boys to go non-verbal when they see you."

Ford: "What's goin' on?"

Buffy: "Um, uh, there's a--a cat...a cat, here...and, um, then there was another cat...and they fought...the cats...and...then they left."

Ford: "Oh. I thought you were just slaying a vampire."

Buffy: "What?! What-ing a what?!"

Giles: "I--I've--I've always-I've always been interested in--in, uh...monster trucks."

Buffy: "You took him to monster trucks?!"

Jenny: "I thought it would be a change."

Giles: "It was a change."

Jenny: "Look, we could have just left."

Giles: "Wh--what, and miss the nitro-burning funny cars? No, couldn't have that."

Buffy: "I am trying to save you. You are playing in some serious traffic here, do you understand that? You're going to die, and the only hope you have of surviving this is to get out of this pit right now and my God could you have a dorkier outfit?"

Giles: "You mean life?"

Buffy: "Yeah. Does it get easy?"

Giles: "What do you want me to say?"

Buffy: "Lie to me."

Giles: "Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true. The bad guys are easily distinguished by the pointy horns or black hats. And, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after."

Buffy: "Liar."

Ethan: "This may sting a little, just at first, but don't worry, that'll go away once the searing pain kicks in."

Buffy: "Okay, one more time. You're the who?!"

Kendra: "I'm the Slayer."

Buffy: "Nice cover story, but here's a tip: you might wanna' try it on someone who's not the real Slayer."

Kendra: "You can't stop me. Even if you kill me, another Slayer will be sent to take me place."

Buffy: "Could you stop with the Slayer thing, I'm the damn Slayer!"

Kendra: "Nonsense. There is but one, and I am she."

Spike: "Who the hell is this?"

Buffy: "It's your lucky day, Spike!"

Kendra: "Two Slayers."

Buffy: "No waiting."

Kendra: "That's me favorite shirt. That's me only shirt!"

Buffy: "Seeing my mother frenching a guy is definitely a ticket to Therapy Land."

Ted: "How would you feel if your mom and I got married?"

Buffy: "I'd kill myself"

Buffy: "You think he's too old 'cause he's a senior? Please, my boyfriend had a bicentennial."

Willow: "That's true."

Giles: "Seems Buffy needed some rest."

Angel: "Yeah, she hasn't been sleeping well, tossing and turning."

Everyone: "..."

Angel: "She told me! 'Cause of her dreams?"

Drusilla: "I'm naming all the stars."

Spike: "You can't see the stars, love. That's the ceiling. Also, it's day."

Judge: "There's no humanity in him."

Angelus: "Couldn't have said it better myself."

Drusilla: "Angel!"

Angelus: "Yeah, baby. I'm back."

Spike: "No more of this 'I've got a soul' crap?"

Angel: "What can I say, hmm? I was going through a phase."

Cordelia: "This is great. There's an unkillable demon in town, Angel's joined his side, the Slayer's a basket case, I'd say we've hit bottom."

Xander: "I have a plan."

Cordelia: "Oh, no! Here's a lower place."

Judge: "You're a fool. No weapon forged can stop me."

Buffy: "That was then. This is now."

Buffy: "Have you dropped hints?"

Willow: "I've dropped anvils."

Willow: "Great, I'll give Xander a call. What's his number? Oh yeah, 1-800-IM-DATING-A-SKANKY-HO."

Buffy: "Meow!"

Willow: "Really? Thanks, I've never gotten a 'meow' before."

Buffy: "Well deserved."

Willow: "Darn tootin'!"

Willow: "Don't forget! You're supposed to be a meek little girly-girl like the rest of us."

Buffy: "Spoil my fun."

Buffy: "Sorry to say, Xand, but slaying is a tad more perilous than dating."

Xander: "Well, you're obviously not dating Cordelia."

Willow: "I want you, Xander... to be my first."

Xander: "Baseman! Please tell me we're talking baseball."

Xander: "Buff, give me a heart attack!"

Buffy: "Oh, I'm going to give you more than that."

Xander: "Buff...for the love of God, don't open that raincoat."

Buffy: "Come on, it's a party. Aren't you gonna open your present?"

Giles: "He's just trying to provoke you, to taunt you, to-to goad you into, uh, some mishap or some other sorts."

Xander: "The nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah approach to battle."

Giles: "Yes, Xander. Once more yo u've managed to boil a complex thought down to its simplest possible form."

Willow: "Not to be outdone..."

Buffy: "Homework."

Willow: "It's my way of saying get well soon."

Buffy: "You know, chocolate says that even better."

Willow: "I did all your assignments. All you have to do is sign your name."

Buffy: "Chocolate means nothing to me."

Xander: "I'm undercover!"

Buffy: "You're not under much."

Spike: "It's a big rock. Can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big."

Buffy: "What do you want?"

Spike: "I told you. I want to stop Angel. I want to save the world."

Buffy: "Okay, you do remember that you're a vampire, right?"

Spike: "We like to talk big... vampires do. "I'm going to destroy the world." That's just tough-guy talk. Strutting a round with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I _like_ this world. You've got...dog racing, Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes a long with a vision. With a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Good-bye, Piccadilly. Farewell, Leicester-bloody-Square."

Buffy: "So, probably go faster if we split up."

Lily: " Can I come with you?"

Buffy: "Okay, where did I lose you on the whole splitting up thing?"

Nurse: "What are you doing?"

Buffy: "Breaking into your office and going through your private files."

Monster: "Who are you?"

Buffy: "I'm Buffy. The Vampire Slayer. And you are?"

Oz: "Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings. Shindig: dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage. And hootenanny: well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny."

Cordelia: "Put yourself in Buffy's shoes for just a minute, okay? I'm Buffy, freak of nature, right? Naturally, I pick a freak for a boyfriend, and then he turns into Mr. Killing Spree, which is pretty much my fault."

Buffy: "Cordy! Get out of my shoes."

Buffy: "So let me get this straight. I\rquote m really back in school because the school board overruled you. Wow. That's like having your whole ability to do this job called into question, when you think about it."

Joyce: "I think what my daughter's trying to say is: 'Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!'"

Willow: "You really do need to find the fun, B."

Buffy: "..."

Willow: "Uffy."

Joyce: "When did you die? You never told me you died."

Buffy: "No, uh, it was just for a few minutes."

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