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 Sometimes moviemakers take the "so bad it's good" paradox to heart, and "Horror House on Highway 5" is certainly no exception. This one is truly a moron's masterpiece, a paragon of cinematic idiocy. One of the villains is so dumb that he chloroforms the wrong broad in broad daylight and even tries to cover up his mistake by plopping her on a bench at a busy street, and his dance moves are simply hilarious (actually he just violently flails his arms around with no rhyme or reason, but it's still hilarious)! Another one of the baddies lurks around undead in a Richard Nixon mask (which looks like a cross between a zombie and a rodent) and doesn't command much respect from anyone. One cartoonishly macho motorist nearly runs "Nixon" over, bombards him with lame insults, and even smacks him a few times. Meanwhile, the bizarre soundtrack randomly accents the scenes with overpowerfully cheezy synthesizer sounds and early-70's rock music (it's unclear whether this movie--released in 1985--deliberately went for a retro soundtrack or just took over a decade to convince an unsuspecting distributor to put this out in video stores). As for gratuities, all you're going to get is some underwhelming gore (one victim slits her wrist on a broken coffee table, yet very little blood drips from the wound) and some low-grade nudity. However, in spite of all its bad points, the movie is not boring, and if you tend to laugh at B-movies, then this one may leave you in stitches. The bottom line: "Horror House on Highway 5" is laughably bad stuff, on a par with "Troll II". |
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QUARTER BY QUARTER ANALYSIS OF MOVIE
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OVERALL RATING
** NOTE: 12 dots on the domino is the best rating while no dots on the domino |
    
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The Worm-Hole Reviews are written by Matt Barnes.