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 Watching "Suspiria" is a little like looking at a house painted with flashy colors. Many would stop, admire its vivid appearance, and say something along the lines of "Would you look at that..." (or they might use art terms as they gush about the whole thing). Of course, those loud colors present a controversial beauty. After a while, the house can become an eyesore, especially if you're living next door. The same thing can be said about this movie. At first, the multicolored lighting and the richly-painted walls are a plus, but after a while, you might wish Dario Argento would lay off on the colors. For instance, he has a hallway that's painted bright red and throws in red lighting, which is overkill. Also, some of the scenes lit with red, green and blue can be painful to look at because there is too much going at once. That's analogous to a newbie using seemingly every color of the rainbow while typing something on a message board, or perhaps more accurately, it's analogous to Ted Turner hiring drug guru Dr. Timothy Leary to colorize "The Wizard of Oz". The movie would be better off if more attention is devoted to the story rather than the lighting. While there are some great death scenes (the first one is particularly nasty), there are scenes in the movie that make your eyes roll up in disbelief. These scenes include a flood of maggots pouring down from the ceiling (wonderfully gross but overdone to the point of being ridiculous) and the showdown with an ancient witch who chuckles incessantly like Beavis and Butt-Head in a gruff voice very similiar to that of Patty and Selma from The Simpsons. The soundtrack by the rock group Goblin is interesting, as usually the case; however, there's one part where the background music uses a synth effect that sounds like Donald Duck being murdered! Still, the soundtrack does more help than harm to the movie and generally blends in nicely with the visuals. Overall, "Suspiria" deserves a lukewarm rating of 7 out of 12. If you're not a fan of artsy, foreign horror movies, then you would do well to avoid this film. However, if you like a lot of atmosphere and don't mind the stranger aspects of Italian horror movies, then "Suspiria" should be worth your while. |
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QUARTER BY QUARTER ANALYSIS OF MOVIE
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OVERALL RATING
** NOTE: The more dots on the domino, the better the movie. If it's a DVD with a rating of 3 dots or less, you might as well consider it to be a Deadly Venereal Disease instead of a Digital Video Disk. ** |
    
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The Worm-Hole Reviews are written by Matt Barnes.