1302. The crew is asleep in their sleeping chambers arranged in a flower formation.-------------------------------0
The chambers open, and the crew is revived from hypersleep. Remarkably enough,
no one among them seems to be suffering from bad morning breath or a case of
"bedhead" hair.

1303. Parker and Brett complain that the company does not pay them enough for------------------------------0
the work and demand a bonus. Actually, Parker does the complaining while Brett
keeps saying "Right." Science officer Ash informs Captain Dallas about a
"yellow light" from Mother. Dallas goes to check it out. What could be
waiting for him in the "yellow light district?"

1304. Dallas goes into a restricted area of the ship and finds out what------------------------------0
Mother wants. "What's the story, Mother?"

1305. On the bridge, the crew turns everything on (heh). Navigator Lambert------------------------------0
has trouble finding Earth and Warrant Officer Ripley has trouble contacting
traffic control. That's because they're nowhere near Earth. They're in a remote
region of space near Zeta II Reticuli (or something like that).

1306. Parker and Brett complain some more down in some part of the ship.------------------------------0
Ripley summons them to the mess hall via beeper.

1307. Dallas announces that Mother has directed the ship toward an unknown------------------------------0
transmission. Parker bitches that they are not a rescue team and demands extra money,
but Ash tells him that they have to investigate the signal or else they don't get paid at all.

1308. The crew listens to the mysterious transmission, which sounds like------------------------------0
my modem sometimes. They trace the signal to a small planetoid.

1309. They land on the planetoid, but not without some heavy turbulence------------------------------1
and technical problems. The ship makes a weird screeching noise that sounds
sort of like an elephant. Did they hit Dumbo on the way down?

1310. Dallas, Lambert, and executive officer Kane gear up for a long walk------------------------------0
on the planet surface. It's mighty windy and dusty out there! When the sun
finally rises, they can see a very funky-looking spaceship. Neither Ash nor Mother
can identify it.

1311. When Dallas, Lambert and Kane go inside the ship, they lose radio contact------------------------------0
with Ash. They discover the source of the transmission: a fossilized alien skeleton
at an exotic-looking console which looks more like a cannon than a transmitter.

1312. Kane finds a deep, dark hole and descends. Meanwhile, Ripley tells Ash------------------------------0
that Mother has partially deciphered the transmission and concludes that it
may be a warning.

1313. Kane finds a bunch of leathery alien eggs in a cavernous room.------------------------------2
He touches one of them, and an alien stirs inside of it. Kane gets a closer look,
but the baby alien leaps out, breaks through Kane's helmet, and then gets in his face!

1314. Dallas and Lambert haul Kane back to the ship. Ripley refuses to let them------------------------------0
inside since it would violate quarantine procedures. Ash lets them in anyway.

1315. At the infirmary, Ash and Dallas slice off the helmet and expose------------------------------0
the pulsating creature, which vaguely resembles a giant scorpion.
Ash tries to pry one of the critter's legs with pliers. Nope, it's not
coming off. They put Kane and the creature in a life support chamber.
Meanwhile, Lambert confronts Ripley about trying to leave her outside earlier.

1316. Dallas wants Ash to get the creature off of Kane. Ash tries cutting off------------------------------1
the critter's legs with the laser scalpel, and the creature squirts acid blood,
which corrodes its way through two floors! Hmmmm...maybe they should use Antacid tablets
to stop the bleeding.

1317. Parker bitches some more and says that he & Brett are the only ones------------------------------0
doing any real work. Ripley retorts by saying that she has the toughest job of all:
putting up with Parker's bullsh*t.

1318. While Ash analyzes the creature and concludes that it's "one tough little------------------------------0
son of a bitch", Ripley gets after him about violating basic quarantine procedures.

1319. A while later, Kane no longer has the creature in his face.----------------------------------------0
Dallas, Ripley and Ash look for it. While Ripley looks around, it drops right
in front of her! ("It's dead, Jim.") Ash sweeps the alien carcass into a specimen tray
for further study. Ripley wants them to get rid of the dead alien,
but Dallas lets Ash keep it.

1320. The ship launches into outer space once again.--------------------------------------------------------------0

1321. While Dallas, Parker, Ripley and Lambert discuss their situation about Kane------------------------------1
and how long it would take go back to Earth, Ash informs them that Kane's okay again.

1322. During dinner, Kane gets chest pains and a creature bursts out of his chest.------------------------------1
Wow! Just like the one in "Spaceballs."

1323. Kane gets jettisoned into outer space. If this was Star Trek,-----------------------------------------0
he might get resurrected like Dr. Spock.

1324. Using tracking units, nets, and electrical prods, the crew hunts for the alien.------------------------------0
Uh oh, Ripley is picking up movement in a wall locker. They catch it.
It's only Jones the cat. Why did they have a cat on board anyway? Brett frees Jones,
not realizing that the cat will cause false readings on the motion trackers.
So, he has to go off by himself to catch the cat.

1325. "Here kitty, kitty...Meow!" Brett chases the cat in a desolate area------------------------------1
of the ship. He finds some strange-looking skin on the floor. Turn around, Brett.
You have a visitor. My, how tall you've grown! The last thing he ever
sees is the alien's teeth (and copious amounts of saliva).

1326. The other crew members find out about the alien catching Brett------------------------------0
and dragging him away into one of the cooling ducts. They plan to drive the alien
toward the air lock and out into space.

1327. Dallas tries asking Mother about how well their plan would work.------------------------------0
Mother isn't very helpful. "What are my chances?" "DOES NOT COMPUTE."
Maybe he would have fared better by asking some people in Las Vegas about his odds
of survival...

1328. Dallas goes into the air shafts to lure the alien into the air lock.------------------------------0
Lambert scans the ship with the motion detector. She's getting two signals
on the screen. It looks like one of those old electronic football games that
fit in your pocket.

1329. Lambert tells Dallas to run. He drops down to a level below------------------------------0
to shake the alien. Surprise! It was down there the whole time! The alien applies
the "Jaws of Defeat" on Dallas, and that's all she wrote!

1330. Parker shows Ripley the remains of Capt. Dallas: his flamethrower.------------------------------0
Lambert demands that they abandon ship; however, there are four chew members left,
and the escape shuttle only holds three.

1331. Ripley consults Mother for advice. Hmmm...Looks like Ash and Mother have conspired--------------------0
to bring the alien back to Earth at any cost. Ash creeps up behind Ripley.

1332. Ash vs. Ripley. Any bets? ("What are Ripley's chances?" "DOES NOT COMPUTE."--------------------0
Damn!) Ash smacks Ripley upside the head. Ripley hugs the wall for the intercom
and calls for help. Ash makes short work of it with his fist. Ash subdues Ripley
with another blow and drags her into another room. Ash rolls up a newspaper.
What's he going to do? Housebreak Ripley with it??? Nope. He crams it
down her throat. Parker and Lambert run in. Parker tries to pry Ash away
from Ripley but no sale from Ash. Parker tries decapitating Ash. That slowed
him down a little, but Ash still manages to grope Parker. Ripley drives a prod right
through Ash to finish him off. Your winner: "DOES NOT COMPUTE."

1333. They reactivate Ash's severed head, which looks like a glazed doughnut.------------------------------0
Ripley asks Ash how to kill the alien, but Ash says they can't because it's perfect...
Ash loves the alien and can only give the crew his "sympathy." Parker barbecues
Ash's head with the flamethrower. Ripley decides to blow up the ship.

1334. While Parker and Lambert rush off to get life support supplies,------------------------------0
Ripley activates the self-destruct mechanism. Jones shows up again.

1335. The alien corners Lambert. Parker can't torch the alien since it's too close------------------------------0
to Lambert. Parker tries to strike the alien with the flamethrower, but the alien hits
Parker and applies, yes, the "Jaws of Defeat." Lambert is paralyzed with fear,
and the alien capitalizes on it by impaling Lambert with its tail.

1336. Ripley overhears the struggle and rushes in to help, but alas, she is too late------------------------------0
and finds only a bloody mess.

1337. Ripley runs down the corridor to the shuttle, but finds the alien croutched up------------------------------0
like a box there! The alien springs to action!

1338. While Ripley runs back the other way, the alien lurks around a corner.------------------------------0
Peek-a-boo!

1339. Ripley tries to deactivate the self-destruct mechanism, but Mother says it's too late.------------------------------0

1340. Ripley runs back to the shuttle. Apparently, the alien is gone, or is it?------------------------------0
Of course not! It's just hiding...

1341. While Ripley & her cat Jones escape in the shuttle, the main ship explodes.------------------------------0
Ooooooooooh...Wow!

1342. Ripley undresses to reveal her underwear and then sees the alien stowaway!------------------------------1
She hides inside a closet while the creature comes out of hiding.

1343. Ripley dons a spacesuit and arms herself with a harpoon gun. The alien------------------------------0
stays inside a nook (or is it a cranny?)...Ripley drives it out by blasting
coolant gas on it. The alien seems to be a little pissed-off now.

1344. Ripley opens the airlock, but the alien holds on to dear life.------------------------------0
Ripley fires the harpoon gun and scores a direct hit!

1345. Unfortunately, the gun slips away from Ripley's hands and gets stuck under------------------------------0
the air lock gate. The alien works its way back to the ship...but Ripley blasts it
to smithereens with the engine exhaust!

1346. Ripley transmits a report to Earth about most of the crew dying------------------------------0
and the ship being destroyed. Have a nice day.