Quotes: SmackDown! August 26, 1999
"If the people want, the people shall receive."
-- The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels, booking Triple H for a WWF title defense against the Rock
"Your partner, Undertaker, in a huge degree of trouble..."
"If he doesn't get back up he's gonna be in more trouble than that!"
-- Jim Ross and the Undertaker
"Get him, Road Dogg!"
"What do you mean, "get him Road Dogg?"
-- Jerry "the King" Lawler chastizing JR for backing the Road Dogg
"Triple H says you'll never, ever be the same again. Could he be right?"
"I think that's a bunch of bullshit."
-- Michael Cole and Stone Cold Steve Austin
"Triple H broke my arm, as we saw..."
"Does it hurt?"
"Well, yeah, if you squeeze it!"
-- JR and Lawler
MANKIND: "Why put off until today what we can do tomorrow?"
JR and LAWLER (in unison): "What?"
"When Big Show realizes that he's a killer, then there will be nobody left in this ring. But until he realizes that, I'm going to leave him to fend for himself."
"Even if it costs you the tag team championship?"
"I'm tag team champion because I want to be. Those titles are just the first step in a major plan, and when the Big Show's ready, I'll reveal that plan."
-- The Undertaker and JR
"This poor little fellow's shaking..."
"Yeah, but what about the dog?"
-- JR and Lawler during Al Snow's match
"Jericho... in cellblock D, O-Double-G-- I couldn't trade your ass for a pack of cigarettes!"
-- Road Dogg
"I think you should go out there and prove to me that you're the best... now go! Go little trooper, go!"
-- Chris Jericho sending Howard Finkel out to take on the ring announcer
"The only way to lose an evening match is to get stripped of your evening gown!"
"Right down to your bra and panties..."
"Oooh! Bra and panties!"
"Two of your favorite words."
-- Lawler and JR
"I'm going to leave this chair that I just dented over your buddies' skulls right here. I want you to find the testicular fortitude to climb into this ring, and I'm going to give you one shot... While you're thinking about it, I'll be over here... hanging with the Posse."
-- Mankind to Shane McMahon
"The fact of the matter is, you can line them up and I'll mow them down!"
-- Triple H getting cocky
"He looks like an unmade bed."
-- Lawler on Mankind
"Well, we're being joined by the Undertaker..."
"What a pleasure!"
-- JR and Lawler
"How about you, JR? You like it doggystyle?"
"I beg your pardon?"
-- Lawler and JR
"Shane, are you all right? Get back here! Get back here!"
-- Lawler offering Shane shelter from Mankind
"I'm not against naked women! At least, not as often as I'd like to be!"
-- Lawler
"Nomally I would come out here and I would have just two words for all of you..."
"Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!"
"Uh-oh... sounds like they have two words for Triple H!"
"That's one word, King."
"Oh."
-- Triple H, the crowd, Lawler, and JR
"I don't know how Jeff Jarrett can be in such a bad mood when he's surrounded by such beautiful ladies!"
-- Lawler
"Do you want to be a killer? Do you want the knowledge? Then ACT like it"!
-- The Undertaker smacking Big Show outside the ring
"Did you see the way he slapped the Big Show, King?"
"I thought he was going to plant one of those on you!"
-- JR and Lawler
"I think the Road Dogg is fixing to experience a Y2J problem firsthand. Look at him, he's praying!"
-- Lawler
"We're not sure exactly how badly the Road Dogg is injured; we don't want to speculate on that, but Road Dogg is getting medical attention back in the locker room area as we speak."
-- JR
"Look, he's got Pepper in a muzzle! Did you see earlier; Bossman's fingers had been bitten!"
"Well how bad could they have been bitten?"
"Hey, hey-- those dogs are vicious."
-- Lawler and JR
"The Rock's making a challenge, it sounds to me like."
"Sounds like he's making a promise!"
-- JR and Lawler
"That's another first in the WWF-- ring announcers fighting!"
-- JR
"As far as Shawn Michaels goes, he can referee all he wants, but he better remember two things. One is to call it down the line, and the other is to stay out of my way. Or, I swear, I will make sure that Shawn Michaels never walks again."
-- Triple H
"The Rock is gonna beat your monkey ass, become the WWF champ, and there's two things you can do about it-- absolutely nothing, and like it."
-- The Rock challenging Triple H
"So what Mankind's gonna do is, he's gonna unbutton his $3 Salvation Army special (unbuttons shirt collar), he's gonna loosen up the tie that was given to him free by the WWF, he's going to begin walking down the People's Aisle, and he's going to listen while the dozens-- (crowd cheers) and dozens on Mankind's fans all chant his name!"
-- Mankind impersonating the Rock
"You're better off on your own! I'm sick of this; I'm sick of being the weak link!"
"Sean!"
-- X-Pac and Kane arguing backstage after the tag team match
"He's going to get disqualified in his debut here on Smackdown! Hang on, Chris, you don't want to get disqualified!"
"That's exactly what will happen if he brings that table into the ring."
"No, if he USES it that's what'll happen; this is not a hardcore match!"
"Well, I didn't think he was going to redecorate."
-- Lawler and JR
"I'll tell you what, I wouldn't want to be Chris Jericho or Howard Finkel if Ken Shamrock gets his hands on them!"
"I wouldn't want to be Howard Finkel no matter what."
-- JR and Lawler
"Why don't you accept the challenge there, tough guy, if you're such a great champion!"
"Don't think he can't hear you, JR."
-- JR and Lawler on Triple H
"Hey... hey, wait a minute! Give me a napkin."
"Accidents happen, King."
-- Lawler and JR after Pepper "gets nervous" all over the King
"I wouldn't want to cross Shawn Michaels if I were Shane McMahon."
"Well, I wouldn't want to cross Shane McMahon; he owns this whole thing, you know."
"I understand that; you've mentioned that twice in the last thirty seconds."
-- JR and Lawler
"I think we got a naked woman on the way to the ring somewhere!"
-- Lawler
"I'm going to appoint myself the special second guest referee this evening, to keep my eyes on you, Michaels!"
"Well, see, we're going to have a little problem with that right there, because you're going to be busy tonight... you're not going to be able to help me referee, because you're going to be taking on a man in one-on-one competition that you screwed last Monday night!"
*cue Mankind's music*
-- Shane McMahon and Shawn Michaels
"Look, he's got him again! You've got to admire the tenacity of Chris Jericho!"
-- Lawler on Chris Jericho's numerous Liontamers on the Road Dogg
"Don't you ever, EVER touch me!... What the hell's that smell? Did you CRAP on yourself?!"
-- Shamrock to Fink
"All this talk about stroking and screwing has got Mankind a little bit excited!"
-- Mankind
"The Rock says, piss on this talk; he's gonna lay the smackdown on your candy ass!"
-- The Rock losing patience and diving in after Triple H
"That wasn't very comfortable for you, was it, dog-boy?"
-- Lawler after Road Dogg is thrown into the steps
"Helmsley may be a miserable, no-good human being, but he is an amazing athlete."
"How does your arm feel?"
-- JR and Lawler
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