Quotes: SmackDown! September 23, 1999
"I can guaran-damn-tee ya this-- the Rock and Sock connection back down from nobody!"
-- Mankind agreeing to put the tag team titles on the line against the New Age Outlaws
"Triple H trying for a chokeslam now on the five-hundred-pound Big Show, and he can't get him off the ground!"
-- Michael Cole
"How the hell did they get back together? Who approached who; they were beating the hell out of each other..."
-- Michael Cole on the New Age Outlaws
"Did I or did I not warn Kane? When he betrayed me last week, he sealed his own fate."
-- the Undertaker
"I have proven week after week that I, not Ken Scamrock, am the world's most dangerous man, and I'm not going to wait until Sunday, I'm not going to wait until Unforgiven to see his blood, to end his career! Tonight, when the blood of Scamrock is shed all across the ring, it BETTER not get on my clothes, and on top of that, I guarantee that you will never, ever, see the blood of Y2J tonight; I guarantee it."
-- Chris Jericho on his upcoming first blood match with Ken Shamrock
"Kane's torn; he doesn't know what to do... how do you get out of the ring?"
"Kane's going over the top rope... KANE FROM THE TOP ROPE!"
-- Hayes and Michael Cole as Kane leaps from the top rope onto Mideon and Mabel-- urrm, Viscera-- at ringside
"What do you think is going to happen with the casket match? The Undertaker has left the arena... he may have left the WWF."
-- Hayes
"The only way to win this match is to have your opponent catch fire. What a way to make a living!"
-- Hayes
"Triple H, folks, is SCREWED tonight."
-- Michael Cole
"Mankind fell fifteen feet!"
"Did someone just hit him with a pole? Did you see that?"
-- Michael Cole and Hayes
"This casket match tonight is something I ordered."
"I don't care what you ordered. You don't order me to do anything, and that's something you need to get in your head."
"If you don't participate in the casket match tonight, then I don't see you participating in the six-pack challenge this Sunday!"
"You know what? Maybe I won't be participating in anything around here."
-- Vince McMahon and the Undertaker facing off
"What a reunion in Reunion Arena! From Mr. Ass and the Road Dogg, for the fourth time, the New Age Outlaws are tag team champions!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages! D-Generation X proudly brings to you its WWF tag team champions of the woooooorld... the Road Dogg, Jesse James! The Bad Ass, Billy Gunn! The New Age Outlaws!"
"And of course, if you're not down with that, WE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YOU!"
"SUCK IT!!"
-- Michael Cole, the Road Dogg, Bad Ass Billy Gunn, and the crowd
"What the hell is this? Y2J has a hockey stick; Y2J is dressed in hockey gear!"
-- Michael Cole on Jericho's outfit for the first blood match
"What a reaction for X-Pac! It's the first time we've seen him since he left Kane for, in X-Pac's words, Kane's own good."
"Listen to this crowd go nuts!"
-- Michael Cole and Hayes
"Rock, I've got to be honest with you. I don't know a lot about this guy Stanley... but when Mankind heard that the Rock needed a cup, I ran out and I got you one right here (pulls out athletic supporter). I think I speak for everyone in Dallas when I say, we have to protect the People's Jewels so one day... we can have a Rocky junior running around!"
-- Mankind, misunderstanding the Rock's reference to the Stanley Cup
"Here's the Road Dogg's opportunity; get the fresh man in, and Billy Gunn can fly!"
-- Hayes on the Road Dogg's need to make a hot tag
"I'm impressed with Triple H's stamina, to tell you the truth."
-- Hayes as Triple H mixes it up with Mankind in the boiler room
"Hunter, just forget about this. This has gone far enough."
"No; screw that! It hasn't gone far enough yet. He is not going to beat me! He's not going to break me down; that's exactly what he wants. I swear to God, if it takes my last breath, I will go to Unforgiven and win back my WWF title!"
-- Chyna and Triple H
"Kane became an emotional human being by hanging around X-Pac. They had a few laughs; Kane became less effective. And X-Pac admitted that!"
-- Hayes
"The rattlesnake will go berzerk as the enforcer!"
-- Hayes, referring to Austin as the ref for the Unforgiven main event
"Now that I'm back in control of the World Wrestling Federation, that's not good for you. You see, the headache I gave you last Monday night on RAW is nothing compared to the full-blown migraine I'm going to give you here tonight! I don't want you to think I'm the kind of man who holds a grudge. Just because you attempted and threatened bodily harm on every one of my family members? Just because you attempted to manhandle my son, my soon-to-be son-in-law, and my WIFE? Just because you busted me open, I'm going to hold a GRUDGE?!"
-- Vince McMahon to Triple H
"Kane is on fire!"
"Somebody help him; put him out!"
-- Michael Cole and Hayes after Mabel-- urrm, Viscera-- forces Kane's hand into the flames
"You don't cross the boss!"
-- Michael Cole, referring to Vince McMahon
MANKIND: "Triple H, what Mankind's gonna do is, he's gonna take that metal pipe, he's shine it up real nice..."
HAYES: "Oh, this'll be original."
MANKIND: "He's gonna turn that sumbitch sideways..."
(The Rock gets in Mankind's face)
MANKIND: "Uh... and he's gonna hit Hunter right over the head with it!"
"I think Vince McMahon is getting what he wanted tonight by forcing Triple H to run the gauntlet... what punishment Triple H is taking here!"
"He deserves it."
"I agree with that point... Triple H has deserved everything that's come his way."
-- Michael Cole and Hayes
"Let me introduce myself; my name is Jeff Jarrett, and I'm a man's man!"
-- Jeff Jarrett
"Road Dogg is back in Dallas!"
-- the sweetest words I ever heard Michael Cole say
"Look, he's still on fire!"
"Kane doesn't care about himself being on fire; he's more concerned about the welfare of X-Pac!"
-- Hayes and Michael Cole
"How is he going to make it through four other matches, much less win three of them?"
-- Hayes referring to Triple H
"Don't you talk to me like that, boy! I'll come in there and knock the dog snot out of you!"
-- D'Lo Brown, at ringside, to Mark Henry
"Look, Triple H is busted open! His lips, his nose... he'll never make it through this."
-- Hayes
"This casket match is, all of a sudden, impossible for the former champion to win."
-- Michael Cole after Shane McMahon issues new rules for the casket match
"Folks, the last time you saw Vince McMahon here on SmackDown!, he was a bloody mess but he was also the World Wrestling Federation champion."
-- Michael Cole
"You two are the World Wrestling Federation tag team champions. Believe it or not, that means a little something to me. So Rock, if you check the registry, I think you'll find that I've got reservations at the SmackDown Hotel!"
-- the Road Dogg
"Shamrock is hurt bad; he's spitting up blood... not a bad game plan by Chris Jericho."
-- Hayes
(Kane reaches up to signal for the tombstone, but freezes halfway through and drops his hand)
MICHAEL HAYES: "He gave the sign for the tombstone; this could be it!"
(Kane stares at the entranceway)
MICHAEL COLE: "If he connects here, folks, it is going to be ov-- wait a minute..."
HAYES: "What's going on?"
COLE: "Is that... what is that?"
HAYES: "Something that's distracting Kane..."
(closeup on a bloody X-Pac)
HAYES: "It's X-Pac! What happened to him?"
COLE: "I don't know! X-Pac is down..."
(Undertaker, Mideon, and Mabel-- urrm, Viscera-- come out)
COLE: "THAT'S what happened to him."
"...for the first time ever, Triple H versus, in a Brahma Bull rope match, the Rock! Or, if you don't like that, maybe you'll like this one. What about Triple H in a casket match against the Undertaker? What about, way back in the bowels of the building? What about, tonight, Triple H in a boiler room brawl against Mankind? Or, this one may be my favorite one tonight-- not only are you likely to burn in hell, you can very well be burned to a crisp tonight here in Dallas. What about Triple H in an inferno match against Kane? Oh, and least I forget, the special chokeslam challenge match against a man whom you bashed in the back of the head with a sledgehammer, the Big Show?"
-- Vince McMahon laying down tonight's card to a furious Triple H
"This could be, literally, a chokeslam from hell!"
-- Hayes as Kane chokeslams Triple H during the inferno match
"Get up in that ring and do what women are designed to do, and that's clean crap up."
-- Jeff Jarrett to the female stage manager
"Nobody wants to see a Brahma Bull rope match! And nobody damn sure wants to see a boiler room match! But let me, let me, the D-O-double-G, tell you what match they do want to see!"
(cue Bad Ass Billy Gunn's music)
"NO! NOO!"
-- the Road Dogg and Hayes
"Michael Cole, how can you chokeslam somebody seven feet tall and over five hundred pounds?"
-- Hayes doubting Triple H's ability to come out of the Chokeslam challenge a winner
VINCE McMAHON: "I've decided that, rather than waiting for this Sunday's Unforgiven, this Sunday's six-pack challenge, I've decided that here tonight, you will face all of those opponents." MICHAEL COLE: "What? Tonight, on SmackDown!?" MICHAEL HAYES: "All at once?" VINCE McMAHON: "No, not collectively. That wouldn't be fair until this Sunday... if you make it. I'm talking about individually." TRIPLE H: "All of them? No!"
"Kane perilously close to the flames..."
"Look at that! He's going to win; God, can you imagine?"
-- Michael Cole and Hayes as Triple H tries to force Kane's face into the fire
"Everybody's talking about Unforgiven; I don't see Triple H making it out of SmackDown! tonight!"
-- Hayes
"The Bulldog was in Triple H's pocket!"
-- Michael Cole
"Chyna just took Jarrett's pants off! ...and now she's putting them on!"
"You see Jeff, at Unforgiven this Sunday, you're going to see who's wearing the pants, and then you're going to see who's going to be wearing your Intercontinental title!"
-- Michael Cole and Chyna
"The Road Dogg and Mr. Ass-- the New Age Outlaws have reunited on SmackDown!"
-- Michael Cole
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