Quotes: RAW is WAR October 4, 1999
Brief Overview
"You want to keep your jerk-off dad out of the Rock's ring?"
"Oh, baby... I see puppies popping and-- whoohoo!"
"It's a Y2J problem, without a doubt!"
"If Edge and Christian win tonight, that puts them one step closer. Only one more match and they would win the incredible prize of $100,000 and me!"
"Mankind does not like having his testicles grabbed by another man! I didn't like it when I was an altar boy, and I didn't like it last week!"
"Oh, you didn't know? Your ass better CALL somebody!"
"The Rock says, you and that jabroni you got with you, Curtis Hughes, come on out here. Jericho, you bend over, and the Rock will take the entire Curtis Hughes, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!"
"Hold on to your crown, King..."
"I don't give a damn about my country, I don't give a damn about this country or these people..."
"Well that's a damn slobberknocker, isn't it, J.R.? Business about to pick up, J.R.? Gonna stomp a mudhole in your ass, J.R.!"
"King, you want a cigarette?"
"Let the women beat the hell out of each other!"
"The Rock and Mankind are here..."
"Hunter, I'm giving you ten seconds to get out here and give me my title shot, or else I'm going to plant her ass right in the center of the ring! One... two... three... I lied!"
"What is that he keeps drinking?"
"Let the Rock make one thing perfectly clear. He never WANTED the Rock and Sock Conn--"
TERRI: "I feel it... I feel it from the top of my head to the bottom of my..."
"If you've ever pissed me off, you always get a payback. At No Mercy, Triple H will get his payback... and nobody pays back better than Stone Cold Steve Austin. Nobody."
"You know, Davey, you really do resemble a bulldog... but more like the ass end."
"You think you impress the Rock because, a couple of months ago, you were down south beating some jabroni named Juventud?"
"Who's Juventud? Do you have any idea?"
"These two got slobberknocker written all over them!"
TRIPLE H: "What do you think of me, J.R.?"
"This is the most confused tag team I've ever seen..."
MANKIND: "It's a great day because even though we saw the postponement of Test's and Stephanie's wedding, in some ways I feel like we just had a marriage take place right in here!"
"God knows I would never, ever, put my daughter in a locker room with wrestlers!"
"That's what made the dinosaurs extinct, right there!"
"Did you see the pain in the Rock's eyes?"
"Tonight, little jabroni, you can come to the Rock's ring-- better yet, you WILL come to the Rock's ring, and go ONE on ONE with the GREAT ONE!"
"I know this is not the most opportune time, but does this affect the wedding in any way?"
"After we spoke, I had a little heart-to-heart with myself, I did some deep thinking, I did some serious soul-searching, I looked at the man in the mirror, and do you know what I saw?"
"There may be trouble in paradise here."
"Longest-reigning WWF women's champion in history..."
"You know what they say... all is fair in love and sports entertainment!"
"I've noticed that the "toughest S.O.B." in the World Wrestling Federation didn't have the guts to be in the same building with me here tonight! But I do understand that there was an exclusive interview. He may not have the guts, but I know somebody with enough gut to get in here-- so J.R., why don't you come up here with me and enjoy this little interview I'm going to have played?"
"I can assure you, the last thing that the British Bulldog thought he would hear was his own countrymen booing him!"
"What is that thing hanging out of his britches?"
"We've got eight men getting it on here!"
"I bet Tim White wishes he were still on strike!"
"I cannot believe we're witnessing the demise of the Rock at the hands of Y2J!"
"Ivory crawling for her life here!"
"What do you think Austin thinks of me?"
"You were looking at my hair, weren't you?"
"If I told Moolah to act her age, she'd die!"
"Vince, I've come out here to apologize to you for what happened to Stephanie, because YOU put her in that position, not me! And YOU screwed me out of my title shot in the United Kingdom!"
"Don't worry; you're okay, J.R.! He wouldn't dare do a thing to you with me sitting here!"
"X-Pac is a very proud young man..."
"If those two old sea hags want to fight, I'll be happy to send them back to the old folks' home! And Ivory, when I'm done, I'll let you knock the osteoporosis right out of them!"
MANKIND: "I've got something important I want to get off my chest... I don't want to mince words, but I'm going to come right out and say it."
"Look at this spear, King!"
"You leave me no alternative than to invite you down the ramp, into the ring, and let me beat an apology out of you! Come on! Come on, Bulldog! Come on, let's go! Come on, you son of a bitch!"
"How about we see if your bite is as bad as your bark?"
"I think the power in the building's gone out!"
"He thinks he weighs about three hundred pounds and is about six-foot-seven!"
"Here comes the champion right here!"
"Speaking of money, anybody got two nipples-- two nickels for a dime? Terri?"
"I know what happened to Droz! He saw Moolah and Mae Young out here earlier!"
"X-Pac-- wait-- X-Pac says, I'm going to do it myself! X-Pac didn't make the tag!"
"Aww... is that you, big Bulldoggie, making all that noise out here, barky barking?"
"Bradshaw's got the cover... but Kane has Faarooq covered! Wait a minute; who's the winner?"
"Damn!"
-- the Rock to Chris Jericho, after a fan dressed like Jericho gets in the ring
-- Lawler losing it upon Terri's entrance
-- Lawler on the sudden power outage during the main event
"Oh, you're quite the mathematician there."
-- Terri and J.R.
-- Mankind
-- the Road Dogg and the crowd, getting into the entrance of the New Age Outlaws
-- the Rock
"I hate this part!"
-- J.R. and Lawler as Kane and X-Pac's entrance music begins
"And I think the feeling is mutual!"
-- the British Bulldog and J.R., as the crowd boos
-- Triple H mocking J.R. as he beats him up
-- J.R. to Lawler as Terri leaves ringside
-- Jeff Jarrett at ringside, leaving Miss Kitty and Ivory to fight Moolah and Mae Young
"Yeah, I know that, but I was thinking about Jurassic Park! The two dinosaurs, Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young, have challenged Jeff Jarrett and Ivory! And I think they're actually going to appear in color tonight!"
-- J.R. and Lawler
-- the British Bulldog powerslamming an unconscious Chyna
"That's that Hansen's Energy Drink... good stuff."
"I don't think he NEEDS any more energy."
-- Lawler and J.R. doing a shameless plug, but making it entertaining
"Wait, wait! I know you never wanted the Rock and Sock Connection to break up..."
-- the Rock and Mankind
J.R.: "Whoa, look out here! There's a hangman right off the top rope by Jeff--"
TERRI: "...feet."
J.R.: "--Matt Hardy on Edge..."
LAWLER (grinning at Terri): "J.R. likes feet."
(Terri grins)
J.R.: "I beg your pardon?"
LAWLER: "Huh? Oh, I'm sorry."
-- Stone Cold Steve Austin to J.R. in a taped interview
-- bonus quote from Rebellion; Chyna to the British Bulldog
-- the Rock to Chris Jericho, referencing the old WCW days
"No clue."
-- Lawler and Michael Cole
-- J.R. deciphering the meaning behind the symbols on the chests of the Acolytes (yes, I'm being sarcastic)
LAWLER: "Oh, no..."
J.R.: "You really want to know?"
TRIPLE H: "Oh, I really, reallly... REALLY want to know what you think of me."
LAWLER: "Yeah, I do too!"
J.R.: "I think you're a sorry, low-down S.O.B."
(crowd pops huge)
LAWLER: "Well... thanks for being here, J.R."
-- Lawler on X-Pac and Kane
(The Rock's eyes go huge)
THE ROCK: "Are you implying to the Rock that you are asking for his hand in MARRIAGE?!"
MANKIND: "No, it's a figure of speech, kind of. I just meant that, unlike all those other..."
THE ROCK: "First and foremost, Mick, the Rock is not coom-see coom-saw! And the Rock could care less if you want to offer him a piece of that poontang pie!"
LAWLER: "Ha! Tossed salad!"
MANKIND: "Rock, I'm not a biology major but I don't think I have any poontang..."
-- the British Bulldog, trying to find a way to blame Vince McMahon for Stephanie's injury
-- Lawler as footage is shown from the Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young evening gown match
-- Mankind
-- the Rock to Jericho, who has an absolutely classic sneer on his face
"Wedding? Man, she doesn't even recognize me."
-- Michael Hayes and Andrew "Test" Martin on Stephanie's medical condition
"Well the Rock knows what you saw-- two hundred and eighty pounds of monkey crap!"
-- the Rock and Mankind
-- J.R., referring to the ongoing problems between Kane and X-Pac
"And that was her second job! She was a waitress at the Last Supper!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler on the Fabulous Moolah
-- Terri
-- Triple H
"Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!"
"Oh, listen to this! It's even worse here, isn't it?"
-- Lawler referring to the UK pay-per-view, and the crowd offering their thoughts
"It's not Mr. Johnson... it's Mr. Rocko!"
-- J.R. and Lawler as Val Venis comes out with Mr. Rocko hanging out of his fly
-- J.R. in a statement that could be taken many ways, but he's referring to the battle royal-style start to the four team elimination tag team match
-- Lawler as referee Tim White tries to break up the tumultuous start to the above-mentioned match
-- Lawler
-- J.R. on the backstage brawl between Ivory, the Fabulous Moolah, and Mae Young
"He thinks you're an asshole!"
-- Triple H and J.R. as the crowd pops huge
"Sure! Both of them!"
-- Terri and Lawler
-- Lawler
"That was no apology."
-- the British Bulldog and J.R.
-- Lawler yelling encouragement as J.R. climbs into the ring with Triple H
"With an enlarged heart, right? I think he needs to see a doctor about that."
-- J.R. and Lawler
-- Jeff Jarrett
THE ROCK (sitting with a hand against his ear): "Sure, sure."
MANKIND: "I think we should just call it quits..."
THE ROCK: "Absolutely."
MANKIND: "Break up the Connection..."
THE ROCK: "You sure you want to do that, though?"
MANKIND: "It's just that there's so many other kids who need my help, who need my guidance, and you... you're almost there!"
THE ROCK: "Right... Bulldog feels that way as well, too."
MANKIND: "You're going to make it on your own!"
THE ROCK: "Right..."
MANKIND: "You're going to BE somebody!"
THE ROCK: "Hold on one second." (takes the cell phone away from his ear and looks at Mankind) "Who are you TALKING to?"
MANKIND (standing): "Hey, don't get excited. I just here to say that..." (claps the Rock on the shoulder) "You're gonna be all right, kid! If you ever need me, I'll be there!" (walks out)
THE ROCK (back into the phone): "It's that Mankind... he's half-retarded; you know that..."
"Oh, I'm telling you! Yes, it was great! I would do that, too, if I had a shot at Terri and a hundred grand."
"Jerry, you like things in twos, don't you?"
"I LOVE things in twos! ...Why?"
-- J.R. reviewing the match, with Lawler and Terri discussing something else entirely
-- Vince McMahon to the British Bulldog, and to a nice pop
-- Chyna to the British Bulldog
"Well, Jericho just put the Rock's lights out with the ring bell... in the shadows of darkness... the referee's distracted; it's going to be over-- no! It's not over!"
-- Lawler and J.R. as the lights in the arena inexplicably go out during the main event
-- Lawler diagnosing X-Pac with the same delirium that surrounds Hardcore and Crash Holly
"Yeah, the Intercontinental champion..."
"No, I'm talking about Miss Kitty."
-- Lawler and Michael Cole
-- Lawler
-- Lawler, referring to the GTV segment showing Droz throwing up in D'Lo's gym bag
-- J.R. as X-Pac gives Kane an "up yours" gesture rather than tagging him in
"Whuh-oh."
-- Chyna to the British Bulldog, and a comment from Lawler
-- J.R.
-- the Rock, via lip-reading, after Mankind swears to dedicate himself to the Rock and Sock Connection
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