Quotes: SmackDown! October 14, 1999
Taped from Birmingham, Alabama (sold out)
Mankind manages to arrage another Rock & Sock match. Triple H, having been bitten in the face by Austin's rattlesnake, goes in-ring and announces he's quitting the WWF. Jericho and Hughes fight backstage. Mark Henry segment. Triple H taken to hospital. Terri does a photo shoot. Interviews with Test, Big Show, the Big Bossman, the British Bulldog, Jeff Jarrett, Stone Cold. GTV segment with Stephanie and the British Bulldog. Triple H and Chyna confront Austin backstage.
Handicap match, Kane vs. the Acolytes w/ X-Pac run-in. Chris Jericho vs. Curtis Hughes w/ Finkel run-in. Hardcore championship, Al Snow (C) vs. the Big Show vs. the Big Bossman. Val Venis vs. Stevie "Dude Love" Richards. T.I.T. round V, Edge/Christian vs. the Hardy Boyz (w/ Gangrel). The Godfather (w/ Hos) vs. Mideon (w/ Viscera). Tag Team championship, the New Age Outlaws (C) vs. the Rock & Sock Connection, w/ Hardcore/Crash Holly run-in.
"What surprised me is that the damn rattlesnake didn't end up dying."
-- Stone Cold Steve Austin, referring to the snake that bit Triple H
"The Ho Train is rolling into SmackDown... the Godfaddah!"
-- Michael Cole
"The Rock..."
"And Sock!"
"Oh, please."
"Together for the last time..."
"That's not electricity with the Sock; that's just static cling."
-- Lawler and Michael Cole
"Val Venis would kill you, man!"
-- Mankind discouraging Stevie "Dude Love" Richards from taking on Val Venis
"WAITAMINUTE! That's Crash Holly in the ring!"
-- Michael Cole as the Hollies run in on the main event
"Rock, if you think you can slam me in a pile of dog crap and get away with it, well, come this Sunday at No Mercy, I am going to knock the Brahma bull crap out of YOU and get one step closer to my title!"
-- the British Bulldog
"I promise you guys, I'll... I'll never interrupt you again, man, 'cause... this is probably the last time I'll ever see you guys again."
-- Triple H as the New Age Outlaws leave the ring at his request
"There's going to be a new Intercontinental champion at No Mercy, and guess what? It's going to be a woman!"
-- Debra on the stage, addressing Jeff Jarrett in the ring
"Vince, it's a marketer's dream! Between Rock's younger demographic; Mankind bringing in the ladies..."
-- Mankind harping on the Rock and Sock Connection to an unconvinced Vince McMahon
"Bedlam! Mankind and the Road Dogg; the Rock and Mr. Ass!"
-- Michael Cole as the warring tag teams storm the ring during the main event; the crowd is popping so loud you can barely hear the announcers
"Oh, my God..."
"What's with his face?"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Triple H, his face disfigured, heads to ringside
SEX THERAPIST: "Maark?"
(Mark Henry looks over)
SEX THERAPIST: "I've studied your case, and I definitely think I can help..." (reaches over and touches Mark's chest) "...you."
(crowd pop)
MARK (shifting nervously): "Wait a minute... say that again?"
SEX THERAPIST: "I definitely think I can help..." (touches Mark's chest again) "..you!"
(bigger pop)
MARK: "You're the one who needs some help! You can't help me at all; sorry."
(Mark gets up and leaves)
SEX THERAPIST: "Chocolate! But Sexual! Come back, Sexual, please!"
"Steph may have forgiven the Bulldog... but I *NEVER* will."
-- Andrew "Test" Martin
"Well King, here's a man who has absolutely no conscience whatsoever."
"Never mind about THAT... he's got Miss Kitty!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler on Jeff Jarrett
"It's over; I'm done, I quit!"
-- Triple H to Vince McMahon
"Listen up, man, you know the deal. You can either fight me-- you know, I know, that I'm gonna kick your ass-- or you got your choice of any one of these fine hos for the whole night!"
"Pick the hos! Pick the hos! Pick the hos!"
-- the Godfather to Mideon, and advice from the crowd
"Knee to the face of the Road Dogg..."
"That looked like a train wreck!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Mankind beats up on Road Dogg
"Don't show me the money; show me what's UNDER the money!"
-- Lawler as Terri is shown in the back, wearing nothing but $100 bills
"These guys HAVE no mercy!"
"Oh man... stairs into the head of Kane!"
--Lawler and Michael Cole as the Acolytes beat up on Kane
"Vince... (grabs a candy bar and sprints for the door) I've got work to do!"
-- Mankind having one of his spells, as Vince stares with the papers in his hand forgotten
"Heeeere, kitty kitty kitty kitty!"
-- Lawler as Jarrett jaws away on the mic
"The BIG Show! He flew!"
-- Lawler
"History WILL be made tonight, because for the last time ever, the Rock and Sock Connection will team together to take on the New Age Outlaws."
-- Michael Cole
"Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!"
"Don't worry about it; this is probably the last time you'll ever see this asshole again!"
-- the crowd and Triple H
"Mankind... Rocko belongs to me. Why? Because it was me that reached into the depths of that garbage can, pulled Rocko up, rolled Rocko up, and put him ever so close to the promise land!"
-- Val Venis
"Wow! Hi, baby!"
-- Lawler as the hos hop into the ring
"Sean... stay OUT of this."
-- Kane to X-Pac backstage
"Can you imagine the PAIN, King?"
"I don't WANT to imagine the pain!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Val Venis gets a Crotch Claw on Stevie "Dude Love" Richards
"First of all... dumb ass... I don't do hos! But... got any farm animals?"
-- Mideon to the Godfather
"I don't like reunions... I don't like family reunions or high school reunions... especially Rock and Sock reunions."
-- Lawler
"Guys, fight your hearts out, because to the victor go the spoils!"
-- Terri
"I think Kane was probably upset with X-Pac because X-Pac was late! Kane doesn't like tardiness!"
-- Lawler
"A tremendous ovation for the New Age Outlaws, who at No Mercy this Sunday will defend their titles against the Holly cousins."
"Yeah, and then we'll find out once and for all how tough ol' Huckleberry Hound is there; Road Dogg, or whatever he is."
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as the Outlaws head to the ring
"Folks, this was to have been a night where Triple H was to forfeit the WWF championship, but Triple H is in a medical center, in no condition to do that."
-- Michael Cole
"The services of Terri plus a hundred grand... did you see her lying there in all that money?"
"Did I ever!"
-- Lawler and Michael Cole
"And what do we have here? A skillet, a frying pan... the old trusty oven."
"Nothing says lovin'!"
-- Jeff Jarrett, plus a comment from Lawler
MANKIND: "Hey, Rock! Word came down from the top!"
THE ROCK (on the phone): "The Rock will call you back." (turns to Mankind) "What is it you want, jabroni; you see the Rock is on the phone?"
MANKIND: "That's a nice phone. Vince wants us to team up one last time; it's important to him! He ordered me to come get you to team up one last time."
THE ROCK: "Let the Rock understand this; Vince ORDERED the Rock to team up with you, one last time; is that right?"
MANKIND: "I think what he's doing; he's doing us a favor! He's giving the Rock and Sock Connection one last chance to say goodbye to the fans before you embark on a singles career!"
THE ROCK: "First and foremost, nobody's doing the Rock any favors! The Rock doesn't need favors from anybody, Vince McMahon or especially yourself."
MANKIND: "It would be fun, though."
THE ROCK (incredulous): "It's not going to be FUN; what is wrong with you? What are you, retarded or something? Listen, the Rock says this. The only reason why he would entertain that thought, is two reasons--"
MANKIND (grinning): "You're going to do it, aren't you?"
THE ROCK: "Shut your mouth, jabroni; just listen to what the Rock says. Number one, it's Thursday night, it's SmackDown--"
MANKIND: "It's your show!"
THE ROCK: "This is the Rock's show-- the Rock doesn't need for you to tell him that-- it's the Rock's show."
MANKIND: "You're gonna do it!"
THE ROCK: "Secondly, and most importantly, if the Rock teams up with you tonight, this has to be the absolute LAST TIME you and the Rock ever get together again. No more Rock and Sock Connection, no more Rocko, no more you stealing the Rock's catch phrases, you wanting to be like the Rock; no more of that crap."
MANKIND: "I'm gonna come up with my own stuff anyway."
THE ROCK (begins to walk away): "Last night, tonight. This is it."
MANKIND: "That's it. Hey, don't you want to know who we're teaming up against?"
THE ROCK (returns): "Yeah, sure. Who ARE we teaming up against?"
MANKIND: "We've got a match against the--"
THE ROCK: "It doesn't MATTER who we're teaming up against! The Rock will lay the smackdown on any candy-ass jabronis back there in that locker room. Tonight's THE LAST night. You smell what the Rock is cooking?"
THE ROCK (off-camera): "Idiot?"
MANKIND (to himself): "Titles are on the line... the Connection against the Outlaws; yeah, baby, yeah!"
"We got puppies and kittens and... it's going to be raining cats and dogs this Sunday!"
-- Lawler
"That's disgusting! And look at the look on Road Dogg..."
"I didn't even know he got hurt!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Triple H enters the ring and confers with a concerned Road Dogg and BABG
"Viscera tries to get into the ring... Godfather picks up the win... and the hos are holding Viscera back!"
-- Michael Cole on Viscera, who has five hos attached to his ankles
"You like to read? I wrote a book that's coming out October twentieth... they're all over it!"
-- gratuitous plug from Mankind as he speaks to Vince backstage
"Let me straighten you out about Val Venis; he has nothing to prove this Sunday. He's proved himself already. All those films he did? Starring roles?"
-- Lawler
"All you care about is if somebody gets hurt. Well, I'm hurt, and I'm sick of it, and I'm done! This is the last time you'll ever see me, 'cause I'm finished. (crowd pop) Yeah, I appreciate your support..."
-- Triple H to the crowd
"What a night this has been! We've had puppies and kittens and hos, oh my!"
-- Lawler (who else?)
"The Acolytes are determined to drive Kane right down in amongst that fire and brimstone he came from!"
-- Lawler
"You people know who we are... and you know what we do."
"And if you ain't down with that, we got two words for you!"
-- the Outlaws, retaking the ring
"LOOK at this! Doesn't he do ANYTHING original? He's trying to steal the Road Dogg's gimmick now!"
-- Lawler as Mankind tries a little shake, rattle and roll in the main event to a huge crowd pop
"Low blow by the Dogg, and now Road Dogg's going to show him how it's done!"
"I think Road Dogg hit Mankind in Mr. Socko and..." (Mankind pitches forward before Road Dogg is done with the punching) "...he's down!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Road Dogg patiently shakes his head over what's left of his opponent
"I think whichever team wins this invitational series... I think are going to be in line to become number one contenders for the tag team titles as well!"
"Who cares about THAT? They'll have Terri!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler
"Hey hey, my my, the Rock and Sock will never die!"
"How corny is THAT?"
-- Mankind and Lawler
"Lllllladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. D-Generation X proudly brings to you, its WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WOOOOOORRRRRRLDDD... the Road Dogg, Jesse James! The Badd Ass, Billy Gunn! The New... Age..."
"OUTLAWS!"
"Oh my!"
"Okay, okay, they like them!"
"Like them? King, I think they love them!"
-- Road Dogg on entrance schtick, the crowd helping out, Michael Cole, and Lawler
"Hey, every time you say, "Rock and Sock Connection," please add, "for the last time. Thank God."
-- Lawler advising Michael Cole
"Jericho and Curtis Hughes going at it on the ramp!"
-- Michael Cole
"Feel the electricity! Listen to this crowd! The most electrifying man in sports entertainment today!"
"Right! That's why you're feeling the electricity, stupid!"
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as the Rock comes out
"Take a good look. This is what you did to me."
-- Triple H, being supported by Chyna, to a shocked Steve Austin
"I think the Road Dogg may have a broken nose here!"
-- Lawler after the D-O-double-G eats an elbow shot from the Rock
"Well King, no one man-- wait a minute! Here's X-Pac!"
-- Michael Cole as X-Pac rushes out to help Kane, to a HUGE pop
MANKIND: "I don't want to waste your time, Vince, but I just want you know that, in my opinion... it's time."
VINCE MCMAHON: "I'm sorry? "It's time?"
MANKIND: "To repay the favor I did you last week?"
VINCE MCMAHON: "Mick, I don't remember you doing me any favors last week."
MANKIND: "Oh c'mon, don't give me that! Remember when I was talking to you and you told me to leave you the hell alone, and I did?"
"When I roll into No Mercy, either I'll go there as the World Wrestling Federation champion, or at that event I will BECOME the World Wrestling Federation champion, and that's all I've got to say about that!"
-- Stone Cold Steve Austin
"Apologize? Stephanie, I'm sick of apologizing, and this has been a waste of my time!"
-- British Bulldog snapping at Stephanie on GTV
"I think the New Age Outlaws may be the best-coordinated tag team ever! Next time you wave at the ref, use all your fingers, though."
-- Lawler with some advice for Badd Ass Billy Gunn
"Hold up, man! You look like you got a little sexual tension you need to release!"
-- the Godfather to Mideon, who is crawling around the ring
"Damn!"
-- Road Dogg (lip-read) in amazement, as the disfigured Triple H comes to the ring
"There's no need to be embarrassed after you were destroyed fairly and squarely by the toughest and meanest man in the World Wrestling Federation!"
-- Jericho to Curtis Hughes
"The Rock and Sock Connection are tag team champions!"
-- an amazed Michael Cole, as the Rock looks on in horror from ringside
"You know something? As the Big Valbowski struts and strolls and gyrates his way to No Mercy this Sunday, there's only one thing on his mind, and that's absolute victory!"
-- Val Venis
"Mother-- dammit to--"
-- the Rock ranting at ringside after Mankind pins BABG for the tag belts
"My God, he's PEELING HIS FACE OFF!"
-- Lawler as Triple H reveals his facial wounds were makeup
STEVIE RICHARDS: "Dooood Love... hey, Mick! Ow, have mercy!"
MANKIND: "What the hell are you doing?"
STEVIE: "What do you mean, what am I doing? I'm Dude Love, remember?"
MANKIND (condesending): "Yeah."
"How could you let this happen?"
-- Triple H to Vince McMahon, who is staring slack-jawed at Triple H's face
"Lotta dogs in Alabama..."
-- Lawler as the crowd pops for the Road Dogg
"I need help... he can't breathe!"
-- an extremely panicked Chyna to officials backstage
"Oh no... PLEASE don't tell me the Rock and Sock Connection still lives!"
-- Lawler
"Just think of the connotation... Finkel and Hughes... Hughes and Finkel... if there was ever two idiots who were perfect for each other, it's you two idiots. I'm sure you'll form a connection of Ebony and Ivory that will dominate for years to come! And besides all that, I've seen the way that you two look at each other in the dressing room, and I know that you want to be together forever! And now, it's all come true, courtesy of Y... 2... J!"
-- Chris Jericho pairing Curtis Hughes and Howard
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