Quotes: RAW is WAR, October 25, 1999
Live from Providence, Rhode Island (sold out)
Backstage confrontation between Triple H, the New Age Outlaws, and Vince McMahon leads to the booking of a Rock/Stone Cold vs. NAO main event. Elsewhere, Mark Henry monopolizes the Godfather's hos. The Fabulous Moolah announces her retirement during an in-ring interview but is interrupted by an irate Ivory. Backstage interview with Chris Jericho. X-Pac and Kane do a painful backstage interview and are attacked by the Dudley Boyz, who steal Kane's electronic voicebox. The Acolytes brawl in a local bar.
The Godfather (w/ hos and Mark Henry) vs. Viscera (w/ Mideon); Mark Henry turns on the Godfather. WWF Tag Team Championship: the Holly cousins (C) vs. Edge and Christian; interference from Brian Christopher, Scott Taylor, and the Hardy Boyz. WWF Womens Championship: the Fabulous Moolah (C, w/ Mae Young) vs. Ivory. The Big Show vs. Prince Albert; interference from the Big Boss Man. Chyna (C) and D'Lo Brown (C) vs. Chris Jericho and a female fan. WWF Championship: Triple H (C) vs. Mankind; interference from Val Venis and Al Snow. Buh Buh Ray Dudley (w/ D-Von Dudley) vs. Kane; run-in by X-Pac after Tori's encouragement. Steel Cage Match: Test vs. the British Bulldog; interference from the Mean Street Posse and Shane McMahon. Stone Cold Steve Austin/the Rock vs. the New Age Outlaws; interference from X-Pac and Triple H.
"OH MY GOD! My God, he's hung! Mankind is hanging; get him out of there!"
"Whew..."
-- J.R. as Mankind gets hung up in the ropes by his neck; an added sigh of relief from Lawler when Mankind twists free
"Vince! I just wanted to thank you for that title shot. This could be my four-time WWF championship! What do they say, fourth time's a charm, right?"
-- Mankind to Vince McMahon backstage, referring to his upcoming title match
"X-Pac, you've got to t-t-t-" (turns away)
"It's all right, man..."
(turns back with electronic voicebox) "Promise me you'll stay out of this match, no matter what. No... matter... what!"
-- Kane and X-Pac backstage
"What an athletic move by this huge monster!"
-- J.R., referring to the Big Show
"They're too good for you to buy a beer for them!"
"Oh!" (shoves Bradshaw) "What are you, too... uhhhh... good to have a drink with us local guys?"
-- a couple of dorks in a local bar, asking for an ass-kicking from the Acolytes
"Well, this is it! This is the dream moment that all of you raving Jericho-holics have been waiting for! Which one of you wants to have the experience of a lifetime and tag with Y2J?"
-- Chris Jericho, picking a tag team partner from the audience
"Folks, I guarantee you ain't seen nothing yet!"
-- J.R. being eerily prophetic just before the start of the main event
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages! D-Generation X proudly brings to you, its soon-to-be WWF tag team champions of the wooorrrlllddd..."
-- the Road Dogg
"C'mon, J.R., say it!"
"Pimpin' ain't easy!"
"There you go! You like this group of hos, don't you? You need to tell your pants it's not polite to point."
-- Lawler and J.R.
"Rocky Fears Juventud"
-- sign in the crowd
"We got two words for the Outlaws... Rock and Rattlesnake!"
-- Lawler
"There's a show of unity!"
-- J.R. as Edge, Christian, and the Hardy Boyz showboat to the crowd from the four corners of the ring
"He'd love to insinuate himself right into that little three-way situation!"
-- Lawler on Mankind and Survivor Series
"The Bulldog has got a butt-kicking coming here!"
-- J.R. as the British Bulldog makes his way to the steel cage
"I'm gonna tell you something, J.R. I never, eeeeever thought I'd see the Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin teaming up. Unbelievable!"
-- Lawler doing a Jericho imitation
"The Rock's saying that he sends chillbumps down the arms of Stone Cold Steve Austin? Eh-eh! That ain't true; there ain't a man alive that sends a chillbump down my arm!"
-- Stone Cold Steve Austin
"Mr. Ass is cracked!"
"HUH?!"
-- J.R. and Lawler during the main event matchup
"That was the funniest thing I've ever seen!"
-- D-Von Dudley, laughing as the hos are taken away in an ambulance
"I'll tell you what... I don't know if the Dudleys are going to leave here with their heads if Kane has anything to say about it!"
-- J.R.
"I think you should ix-nay them, and let's make a GOOD match where we can get our belts back!"
-- the Road Dogg to Vince McMahon, expressing displeasure at not getting a shot at the tag titles
"What the hell-- X-Pac! X-Pac with a spinning heel kick on the Rock!"
"X-Pac?! What'd he do?"
-- J.R. and Lawler as X-Pac interferes in the main event
"Wow, how strong must Edge be to put a superheavyweight so high in the air?"
-- Lawler as Edge delivers a back bodydrop to Hardcore Holly
"What in the hell? The Road Dogg... Badd Ass Billy Gun... X-Pac and Triple H; they're together, King! It looks like they're all together!"
-- J.R.
"You're going to get YOUR ass kicked!"
"Save all that anger, now!"
-- the cameras walking in on an Outlaw/Triple H confrontation backstage prior to the main event
"Triple H has everything to lose tonight, J.R. Nothing to gain by beating that idiot! Everything to lose!"
-- Lawler
"Kane has been made fun of his entire life. King, you know Kane's life story; you know he was burnt!"
"I know... but he doesn't have to take it out on the Dudleys here tonight!"
-- J.R. and Lawler
"Mark Henry's just now getting dressed!"
-- Lawler as the Godfather and Mark Henry head to ringside
"No, too fat... too slovenly... bad dental hygiene... ah, how about this fine young thing right here? Why don't you come into the ring here, flamehead? You're almost as ugly as Chyna is... no, no, you're not even close. Chyna, you're much uglier!"
-- Chris Jericho selecting his tag team partner from the crowd
"Folks, we understand that the Fabulous Moolah, the WWF Womens Champion, has a major announcement tonight here on RAW, King. What do you think it is?"
"She gonna pass away?!"
-- J.R. and Lawler
"Respect? Hell yeah. Partners? Hell yeah. Friends? Oh, hell no! All Rock's gotta do is tag me when he gets a chance and do his part. If he doesn't, I'll slap the People's Eyebrow right off his head!"
-- Stone Cold Steve Austin
"Mankind's shoulder may have been broken or dislocated right there; jammed it right into that ringpost!"
-- J.R.
"Oh J.R., look at the one in the red; I'd like to..."
"Easy now, tiger."
"I'd like to have a meaningful overnight relationship with her!"
-- Lawler and J.R. on the hos
"Kane... did you lose something Kane?"
-- Buh Buh Ray Dudley using the electronic voicebox he stole from Kane
"The hell's THAT?"
-- J.R. as a backstage camera gets a close-up on Mae Young
"Look at THIS, J.R.!"
"X-Pac's got the DX shirt! Wait a minute... NO!"
-- Lawler and J.R.
TRIPLE H (storming up to Vince): "The hell is going on around here? I get this sheet, and Mankind? I'm fighting Mankind? What are you DOING?!"
BILLY GUNN: "Oh what, the champ's scared?"
TRIPLE H: "D-- shut up! Who asked you, anyway?"
ROAD DOGG: "YOU'RE about to get shut up."
VINCE: "...number-one contender."
TRIPLE H: "What?"
ROAD DOGG: "You're about to get shut up."
TRIPLE H: "Oh, you guys itching for a fight? Why don't you give them a match? Why don't you put THEM with Rock and Sock so I can have the night off?"
VINCE (patiently): "Because Mankind is facing you, that's why. Okay?"
TRIPLE H: "But you guys still looking for a fight?"
ROAD DOGG: "Anybody."
BILLY GUNN: "We don't care!"
TRIPLE H: "What about the Rock and somebody else, just so they'll shut up and have a match?"
BILLY GUNN: "We already told him that it doesn't matter. Rock; we don't care who it is."
ROAD DOGG: "And I ain't shutting up."
TRIPLE H (studies the booking sheet briefly): "Why don't you put them with this? Why don't you do Rock, and... let's say... Stone Cold Steve Austin, since he's not on here?"
(The Outlaws exchange broadening grins)
TRIPLE H: "Oh, what's the matter? You guys are scared? C'mon, big mouth!"
ROAD DOGG: "No, not scared at all; let's do it!"
BILLY GUNN: "The only thing we need is somebody to book that, and there's one person here that can do that."
(all eyes turn to Vince)
VINCE: "That's a most unusual tag team combination..."
ROAD DOGG: "I thought you had coconut cojones?"
VINCE (referring to the match): "You got it."
-- backstage opener as the main event is formed
"There's one of these guys at every bar, J.R..."
-- Lawler as some local yokels challenge Bradshaw to an arm-wrestling match
"Pimping IS Easy In Providence"
-- sign in the crowd
"Let me thank you, because you are the oldest person I've ever wrestled!"
"Ha!"
-- Mae Young to Moolah, and a snicker from Lawler
"Test is on the top... Test from the top! MY GOD! MY GOD IN HEAVEN!! The elbow from the top of the cage!"
-- J.R. as Test plants an elbow across the throat of the British Bulldog by leaping from the top of the steel cage
"Mr. McMahon's facial expressions, with the exception of the bobbing Adam's apple in times of fear, are the best in the business..." What the hell do you mean by that?"
-- Vince McMahon to Mankind backstage; McMahon has read a passage from Mankind's book
"Listen to this music!"
"My God!"
"It's DX!"
"DX is together! Dammit dammit!"
-- Lawler and J.R.
"I got something that belongs to you, something that belongs to your daddy, and something that belongs to your grandpa! I will crush this thing, so you better stay right where the hell you are; understand me, boy?"
-- the Big Boss Man to the Big Show, brandishing a gold pocketwatch
"There are red ones and blue, and... Lord have mercy!"
"That's all right. When the lights are out, they're all beautiful!"
-- J.R. and Lawler on the Godfather's hos
"I hope that Test BEATS an apology out of the Bulldog."
-- Stephanie McMahon offering her thoughts on the steel cage match, as Shane gives Test pointers in the background
"What IS that?"
-- J.R., referring to Jericho's odd tag team partner
"Finally, the Rock has come back to our crappy little state!"
-- sign in the crowd
"I feel that, to be fair, I will give this belt back and I will officially retire."
"Who painted her eyebrows on?"
"Retiring!"
"What? She's retiring? FINALLY!"
-- the Fabulous Moolah, Lawler, and J.R.
"What is Shane McMahon doing...? My God! MY GOD! MY GOD! A cross-body off the top!"
-- J.R. as Shane nails a cross-body on the Mean Street Posse from the top of the cage; the crowd is going NUTS
"Enough is enough; get out there! What are you waiting for? He is your best friend! If you don't get out there, I will!"
-- Tori yelling at X-Pac backstage to help Kane
"Man, you don't get the hos twenty-four seven!"
-- the Godfather, chastizing Mark Henry backstage for monopolizing the ladies
"He's allowing a lot of latitude, that referee is... I like that! I like that in a referee! Let them go; let's find out who really is the game here!"
-- Lawler as Triple H and Mankind brawl into the crowd
"Ain't no puppies there, are there?"
"What is that, cotton?"
"Chyna stomping away at this... is that Stevie Richards?"
-- J.R. and Lawler as the true identity of Y2J's tag team partner is revealed
"Droz Will Walk"
-- sign in the crowd
"The Rattlesnake don't like it doggystyle!"
-- Lawler as Austin breaks out of the pumphandle slam
"What's the matter, your darkie friend can't count right?"
-- a local bar idiot getting a little too personal on the Acolytes
"The wrestler... and the AUTHOR!"
-- Lawler chuckling as Mankind heads to the ring
"There's a little hellfire and brimstone... and maybe barbecued Dudley!"
-- J.R. as Kane lights up the four ringposts
"What a buffet! Whoohoo! Look at the melons and the cantelopes and the tomatoes..."
-- Lawler admiring the Godfather's hos
"Moolah, I found your ride parked out in the handicapped spot!"
-- Ivory, referring to a broom she is brandishing over her head
"That's the only exercise you get, J.R.; jumping to conclusions!"
-- Lawler
"WCW Fans Kant Spel"
-- sign in the crowd
"Dammit! Val Venis assaulting Mankind with a steel chair! I swear to God, Mankind had the title won!"
-- J.R.
"First of all, Mitchell, I feel absolutely horrible for the Big Show, but I feel even more horrible for Chyna!"
-- Chris Jericho to Michael Cole
"X-Pac leaving... a little tension here!"
-- J.R. as X-Pac takes off backstage after his run-in, leaving Kane to recover on his own in the ring
"Look at Val Venis... that's the second time he's screwed Mankind in less than a week! Ha!"
-- Lawler
"Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!"
-- the crowd to Viscera after he attacks two of the hos
"There goes her hip..."
-- Lawler as Ivory tips Mae Young over the top rope
"The Rattlesnake being grouded now by the Road Dogg; not a bad move. And Austin now breaks the hold in a rather unorthodox fashion, using that knee brace to his advantage!"
"Battering poor ol' Road Dogg right across the mush!"
-- J.R. and Lawler during thee main event
"Can Stone Cold and the Rock co-exist?"
"No way in hell!"
-- Lawler and J.R., discussing the main event
"Remember, I'm not the Boss Man!"
-- Prince Albert backstage to the Big Show, in a feeble attempt to placate TBS before their match
"She knocked the stuffing out of him!"
-- Lawler, referring to Chyna's beating on Stevie Richards and the cotton strewn about the ring
"You know what's funny? Stephanie's regaining her memory, but after tonight her loverboy Test won't remember a damn thing about anybody after I get through smashing his head into that steel cage over and over again..."
-- the British Bulldog
"Thanks boys!"
-- Bradshaw as he and Faarooq jovially leave the bar they just destroyed
"If he's gonna to beat an apology out of Bulldog, he's got a lot of beating to do!"
-- Lawler
"I don't know where the Big Boss Man or Prince Albert are, but... wherever they are, they'd better keep going!"
-- J.R. as an irate Big Show sets out find BBM and PA
"Are there any pimps up in this house?"
"Count me in!"
-- the Godfather and Lawler
"Do you think the Dudleys ever played college or pro football?"
-- Lawler ribbing on J.R. a little bit
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