Quotes: Sunday Night HeAT, November 28, 1999
Taped 11/23/99 from Rochester, NY
Mark Henry vs. Prince Albert. Plays of the week. Gangrel (w/ Luna) vs. Steve Blackman. Video package of Test/Stephanie romance. The Headbangers vs. Kaientai. Video package of Vince vs. Triple H fight. Edge and Christian vs. the Acolytes vs. the Dudley Boyz. The following wrestlers tape well-wishes messages for Test and Stephanie: Hardcore and Crash Holly, Mark Henry, Ivory, the Big Show, Mankind.
"Michael, if I look at one more turkey sandwich, I'm gonna throw up!"
"Well, the superstars had turkey in their laps after that monster foodfight on SmackDown this past Thursday night!"
"And you enjoyed your first piece of poontang pie!"
"Yeah, it was great!"
-- Kevin Kelly and Michael Cole
"I wonder what HE ate for Thanksgiving?"
"I wonder what he DIDN'T eat!"
-- Michael Cole and Kelly as Mark Henry heads to ringside
"He'd push an old lady in a mud puddle if he had a chance!"
-- Kelly as Prince Albert gets the vicious pin on a wounded Mark Henry
(Hardcore and Crash Holly have sat down to talk about the wedding)
HARDCORE: "It's definitely not a match made in heaven, but hey, to each his own; ev--"
CRASH: "I was gonna say congratulations..."
HARDCORE: "Shut up, I'm talking."
(Crash sighs in annoyance)
HARDCORE: "To each his own; everybody needs somebody, oka--"
CRASH: "We TALKED about this, and I want to say congrat--"
HARDCORE: "Look, what do you know about marriage? You've never had a girlfriend; the only girlfriend you had is the pal-- well, just forget that, but... any--" (looks at Crash, who is openly staring at him) "If you want to say something, go ahead!"
CRASH (in a stage whisper): "I can't believe you said that! It's not anyone's business!"
HARDCORE: "It is now."
CRASH (shaking it off): "Guys, congratulations, I know it's gonna work out great. On behalf of me and the Big Shot, congratulations!"
"What about the gift Luna gave Stephanie and Test for their wedding?"
"Everyone needs a stuffed squirrel, Michael; I keep telling you that!"
-- Michael Cole and Kelly as Gangrel, accompanied by Luna, hits the ring
"Michael, how hammered WAS Mae Young?"
-- Kelly, referring to SmackDown
"The Hardys were within inches of winning the titles, if not for X-Pac once again..."
-- Kelly bemoaning the Hardys' loss on SmackDown
"This poem is for Steph and Test, and it's untitled, so it's an original.
After the day is all said and done
After the hustling and running are gone
My focus and attention is solely on you
As the forests are green and the oceans are blue
Nothing on Earth compares to you guys
The you becomes us, the I becomes us,
Inside this statement, you have to trust
The question will be, "Will you marry me?" Yes,
The question will be, "Will you ever leave me? No!
That is the road that your love now goes."
Untitled."
-- Mark Henry (was that supposed to be funny? 'Cause I was laughing...) on the wedding
"I wish them all the best. In fact, I think it's almost a miracle when you find that right person. It's kind of like... socks that get lost in the dryer? That's how I look at finding the right partner. Where IS that other matching sock? So Test, being kind of a large, overgrown sock, has found Stephanie, who also is a large, overgrown sock!"
-- Ivory on the wedding
"Now that Mankind has gone back to being friends with the Rock, that seems to have driven a wedge between his friendship with Al Snow."
-- Kelly
"Crane technique!"
"The Karate Kid Mosh... and the fans love it!"
-- Kelly and Michael Cole as Mosh strikes a pose for Kaientai and the crowd pops
"I'm looking forward to the reception afterwards!"
"Yeah, because I heard there's free alcohol!"
-- Michael Cole and Kelly discussing the wedding
"First of all, I just want to say, Test and Stephanie, congratulations. It's really a cool thing; I'm glad to see you two guys are in love and you two found each other and, um... keep me in mind in the future, you know? Things progress, and you guys settle down and have a little family, just remember the Big Show's only a phone call away for a baby-sitter; the best in town! See you guys; congratulations."
-- the Big Show on the wedding
"Hey, I think it's a beautiful union between two great people, and I wish them all the luck in the world. I don't want to tip my hat as to what MY wedding gift will be, but it's thick... about five hundred and three pages thick; it's got a hard cover; it's on the New York Times bestseller list, if you know what I mean. But on a serious note, Mr. McMahon has said once or twice... I think it was just once, but... he said I'm kinda like a son to him, and I guess Stephanie, that means in a roundabout way, WE are related! And Test, if you ever DON'T do the right thing by my sister, you're gonna have to answer to me. But listen, guys, enjoy your wedding night-- but not too much!-- and have a great life together."
-- Mankind on the wedding
"Edge and Christian on their way to the ring, if we can find them..."
-- Michael Cole as cameras search the crowd
"So we've got one pair of brothers in the ring, Edge and Christian... we've got one pair of half-brothers on their way to the ring, the Dudley Boyz... what do you call the Acolytes?"
"Sir, unless you want to get a punch in the mouth."
-- Michael Cole and Kelly
"Oh, great."
-- Michael Cole as Buh Buh Ray gets the stick
"For those of you morons who don't know by now..."
(crowd heat)
"This is my brother D-Von, and my name is B-B-B-B-B-"
(D-Von smacks him on the back of the head)
"Buh Buh Ray Dudley!"
"There's only three things that you two idiots better learn quick!"
-- the Dudley Boyz to Edge and Christian (E & C have great facial expressions during the Dudley spiel)
"That was a tag!"
"A smack in the face equals a tag in this contest."
-- Michael Cole and Kelly
"Buh Buh Ray's a couple of fries short of a Happy Meal, but I think he has a cover here!"
"Hey! One, two, th-th-th-th-th--"
-- Kelly and Buh Buh yelling at the ref (and soon giving up trying to pronounce "three")
"Bradshaw delivered a dropkick, and all hell's broken loose here!"
-- Michael Cole as the Acolytes pull off a wrestling move
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