Quotes: RAW is WAR
December 27, 1999 - Millennium Edition
Live from the Greensboro Coliseum in Greensboro, NC - sold out
In-ring interview with D-X and Stephanie; Mankind and the Rock interrupt. Tori returns, now a fan of D-X. Chyna (w/ the Kat [C]) vs. Crash Holly (w/ Hardcore Holly); Hardcore on color. Four Corners tag team match: the Godfather/D'Lo Brown (w/ hos) vs. the Dudley Boyz vs. Edge/Christian vs. the Acolytes; Mean Street Posse officiate and interfere. Kurt Angle vs. the Headbangers; Steve Blackman interferes. Mankind interview. In-ring Al Snow rant and Tazz promo. WWF Intercontinental championship: Chris Jericho (C) vs. Al Snow (w/ Head). Mark Henry/Mae Young and Harvey Wippleman/Moolah double-date vignettes. Pink Slip on a Pole match: the Rock vs. Mankind; Mankind is fired. Intergender Four Corners tag team match: Val Venis (C)/the Kat (C) vs. Viscera/Jacqueline vs. Prince Albert/Ivory vs. Gangrel/Luna. X-Pac vs. Jeff Hardy (w/ Terri and Matt Hardy). Kane (w/ Tori) vs. Test. Big Show interview. Triple H and Steph throw Mankind out of the building. WWF Tag Team championship: New Age Outlaws (C, w/ X-Pac) vs. Too Cool (w/ Rikishi Phatu). WWF championship: the Big Show (C) vs. Triple H (w/ D-X and Steph).
"Happy holidays, everybody, and welcome to the last RAW of the century! I'm Jim Ross, alongside Jerry "the King" Lawler; we are at ringside in the sold-out Greensboro, North Carolina coliseum! And King, I've got a feeling that this is going to be another hellaciously wild ride tonight on RAW!"
"I hope so! Ha!"
-- J.R. kicking us off, plus a comment from good ol' Lawler
"We Like It RAW"
-- sign in the crowd
"I'm An Ass Man"
-- sign in the crowd
"S-U-M-B-x-T-C-H"
-- giant sign in the crowd
"Steph Is a Slut"
-- sign in the crowd
(The D-X theme fires up-- for once, we stay on a constant live shot of the arena. Triple H and Steph emerge hand-in-hand, followed by the rest of D-X. Surprisingly, the crowd pops)
J.R. (from ringside): "The McMahon-Helmsley era continues here tonight... and that's exactly why, King, I think this could be a wild ride here on the last RAW of the century!"
(cameras close in on Steph, who is eying the crowd)
J.R.: "There you see Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley..."
(the shot pans over to Triple H, guzzling from his water bottle)
J.R.: "...her husband, Triple H..."
(wider shot of the Outlaws and X-Pac playing to the crowd behind the happy couple)
J.R.: "...alongside the rest of D-X, the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac."
LAWLER (also from ringside): "Boy, take a look at that, J.R.! D-X! Ha! What a group!"
(D-X begins making their collective way to the ring, the Helmsleys leading the way)
J.R.: "These two are certainly in charge here tonight, and don't forget, last Thursday, King, on SmackDown, we saw-- of course, it was you that was there broadcasting-- the attempted mutiny that was orchestrated by Mankind, by Mick Foley, that Stephanie McMahon quelled!"
LAWLER (as D-X enters the ring): "Whadaya mean, "attempted mutiny?" C'mon, J.R.! That was nothing more than attempted unionization! And who in the would would want Mankind as the head of their union? Stephanie was right on to stop that!"
(Triple H spits the contents of his water bottle on the crowd as Stephanie watches in approval)
LAWLER: "Wow..."
J.R.: "Triple H spewing his venom... figuratively and literally!"
LAWLER: "What a couple!"
J.R.: "I'll tell you what, King... I've been sitting here a long time, and I've just got a feeling that this is going to be a night that none of us will ever forget! We are live from Greensboro, North Carolina!"
(Triple H grabs the stick, and the crowd heaps upon him much heat)
TRIPLE H: "The last RAW of a new millennium!"
(Triple H pauses to think about that as heat continues)
J.R.: "Somewhat unflattering chant..."
TRIPLE H: "The final RAW before a new millennium... and how fitting it should be that the McMahon-Helmsley era is running the show!"
(massive heat)
TRIPLE H: "You know, the reality of it is... it doesn't really matter what happened before today; it doesn't really matter what has happened in the WWF in the last thousand years!"
(Triple H walks past Steph; she gives him a sexy smirk)
TRIPLE H: "What matters is right here, right now. And right here right now, we are the be-all, end-all in the World Wrestling Federation."
LAWLER: "That's true!"
TRIPLE H: "What you are looking at is the near-perfect completion of the perfect plan; and I say "near perfect" because there's just one little thing for us left to accomplish, and that one little thing involves the World Wrestling Federation championship. So tonight..."
CROWD: "Rock-y! Rock-y! Rock-y!"
LAWLER: "Why don't these people shut up and let him talk?"
J.R.: "The Rock is in the house... this--"
LAWLER: "Who cares?"
J.R.: "--capacity crowd, chanting for the Rock, who is here, as we said!"
TRIPLE H (perturbed): "So tonight, Big Show, you will be the completion of our plan! Tonight, Big Show, you WILL, because we order you to, step into this ring with the singest..."
(pauses, grins, and looks over at Steph)
TRIPLE H: "Singest, is that a word?"
(she offers a big, vampire-esque grin)
TRIPLE H: "...the single greatest athlete in the World Wrestling Federation today; the greatest wrestler of all time... you will step into the ring with the Game..." (crowd heat) "...and you will help me to complete the ultimate plan... as right here, in the middle, I lay your big goofy ass down... and you stare up at that ceiling for a big one two three... and I become the champion for the new millennium."
(passes the mic to Steph as crowd boos)
LAWLER: "Wow!"
J.R. (on Triple H's proclamation): "That's debatable..."
LAWLER: "Whadaya mean, "debatable?"
J.R.: "The Big Show's five hundred pounds; HE'S the champion."
LAWLER: "Oh, listen up, J.R.; listen up."
J.R.: "All right..."
STEPHANIE (catching massive heat herself): "The McMahon-Helmsley era is going strong into the new millennium... but last Thursday on SmackDown I kept my word. I'm a McMahon; I kept my word. And tonight, Kane... who's probably out looking for Tori..."
LAWLER: "Ha!"
CROWD: "Slut! Slut! Slut!"
(Stephanie looks tremendously offended as the other members of D-X attempt to silence the crowd)
LAWLER: "What? What are they-- what are they chanting, J.R.?"
J.R.: "Well, I-- I hate to repeat it, quite frankly..."
LAWLER: "What are they saying?"
SOME GUY IN THE CROWD: "Stephanie! YAAAaaaa..."
STEPHANIE (composing herself): "...will have to face you, X-Pac."
(X-Pac starts to yell at Steph; Triple H calms him)
J.R.: "X-Pac and Kane..."
LAWLER: "What?!"
STEPHANIE: "Now a McMahon always, always keeps their word, unless they're FORCED to break it. And Mankind forced me to break my word last Thursday on SmackDown."
LAWLER: "That's true!"
STEPHANIE: "There will be no unionization or rebel rousing-- I was FORCED to break my word! Isn't that right?"
(Steph hands the mic to Triple H, who looks at it a minute before taking it from her)
LAWLER: "It was a shame, but it's true."
TRIPLE H: "You know... the guys in the back need to realize one thing; it is gonna be a whole lot easier to be with us than it is to be against us." (big crowd heat) "Mick Foley is a prime example of exactly that. Mick, no longer will you stand in the back trying to raise up a group against us; no longer will you stay, trying to rally forces to raise the fists against us. Mick, you learned your lesson, and everybody else needs to learn that lesson-- that WE are the power--"
(Mankind's music cranks up, to a big crowd pop)
J.R.: "Uh-oh..."
LAWLER: "Wait a minute!"
(Mankind emerges, mic in hand and without his mask)
J.R.: "There's Mankind! There's Mick Foley!"
LAWLER: "What's he-- doesn't he know you can't fight city hall?! What's he doing, J.R.?"
J.R.: "He's standing up-- I'm sure he's going to-- well, I'm not sure WHAT he's going to do, but--"
MANKIND: "Hey Triple H, you're right. There will be no unionizing, there will be no rebel rousing, there will be no mutiny. You see, tonight, in Greensboro, North Carolina..." (crowd pop) "...I'm all by myself. But you see, I've got a lot on my mind; I've got some points to make as it pertains to D-X, and I sure as hell am going to make those points here tonight." (crowd pop) "You see, Triple H, Billy, Road Dogg, X-Pac... I, like a lot of people out there, used to think D-X was... pretty cool."
(camera shot of the Outlaws and X-Pac hanging on the ropes glaring at Mankind, while Triple H and Steph stand in the center of the ring with sour expressions)
LAWLER: "Whadaya mean, "used to?"
MANKIND: "Well, it was only three hundred and sixty-four days ago, last December twenty-eighth, that I sat on D-X's shoulders as they paraded me around the ring in Worcester, Massachusetts, as I was crowned the WWF champion for the very first time!" (crowd pop) "But now, one day short of one year later, I don't see a bunch of cool guys! I see a bunch of gutless cowards..."
(crowd pop as Triple H glares and Steph looks appropriately offended)
J.R.: "Wow..."
LAWLER: "What?!"
MANKIND: "...scurrying around like little frightened children, running to their overbearing mom and dad!"
(Mankind begins to approach)
J.R.: "Mick's walking right here to the ring!"
MANKIND: "So I ask you first off, Road Dogg, take a look at yourself..."
(cameras show Road Dogg, who is leaning on the top rope with hands folded and looking rather intellectual)
MANKIND: "...and you tell me how it felt to have Test drop that big elbow on you!"
(Road Dogg glances back at Triple H as the crowd pops)
MANKIND: "You tell me, Road Dogg, how it feels knowing damn well that you're one of the most creative, one of the most entertaining SOBs in this company... reduced to nothing more than Triple H's bootlicker!"
(Road Dogg appears rather concerned and looks back at Triple H and Steph, who wave him off)
LAWLER: "Wait a minute, J.R.! This is-- this IS rebel rousing! That's exactly what he's doing!"
MANKIND: "And Billy Gunn... Billy Gunn, you tell me how it felt to have Kane's hand around your throat..."
(Billy watches Mankind warily, chomping away at a piece of gum)
MANKIND: "...to have the hell beaten out of you by a guy like Kane! You call yourself Mr. Ass? I call you Mr. Ass-kisser!"
LAWLER: "HA!"
J.R.: "Mick's making some good points here..."
LAWLER (as Triple H attempts to calm Billy): "He's trying to cause dissension!"
MANKIND (grinning): "And X-Pac... maybe it's a good thing you were on hiatus, because if you were not, you would certainly have been thrown to the-- well, I guess this week you will be thrown to the wolves as well. So here's my point. Triple H is after the WWF championship, and believe me when I say to you, he cares about nothing else."
(the cameras flick over to D-X briefly)
ROAD DOGG (to Triple H): "What is he doing?"
MANKIND: "And so, if Triple H..."
(Mankind slides underneath the bottom rope and kneels in the ring, as D-X watches apprehensively. Mankind puts out a hand to stall them)
J.R.: "Mick's in the ring!"
MANKIND: "...becomes the WWF champion, take my word for it..." (stands) "...he will leave D-X high and dry, because--" (points at Road Dogg) "--he does not give a damn about YOU..." (points at Billy Gunn) "...he does not give a damn about YOU..." (points at X-Pac) "...and I don't truly think ANY of us gives a damn about you!"
(big crowd pop)
LAWLER: "Ack!"
MANKIND: "Stephanie, one more thing before I get outta here... the Godfather has a message from me. He wants you in the back with the other hos!"
J.R.: "Oh man..."
(Triple H leaps forward and attacks Mankind)
J.R.: "Oh, look out!"
(the rest of D-X follows in the attack, and Triple H backs off to comfort his wife)
J.R.: "Triple H, D-X... they're all over Mankind!"
LAWLER: "That's what he deserved; he brought it on himself!"
J.R.: "Mankind--"
(The Rock's theme begins, and the crowd goes NUTS)
J.R.: "Here comes the Rock!"
LAWLER (so high-pitched it's almost impossible to understand): "THE ROCK?!"
J.R.: "Here comes the Rock!"
(The Rock races down the ramp and dives into the ring, where he immediately attacks the Road Dogg)
LAWLER: "What is the Rock doing out here; look out!"
J.R.: "The Rock and Sock Connection!"
LAWLER: "No, please; tell me no!"
(the rest of D-X scatters, and the Dogg is soon launched over the rop rope)
J.R.: "There goes the Road Dogg! There goes Mr. Ass! The Rock and Sock Connection have broken up the party of the McMahon-Helmsley era!"
(Rock stomps around the ring, spitting and trash-talking anything that moves, as Mankind recovers and D-X regroups on the stage)
LAWLER: "I can't believe this!"
J.R.: "And the sold-out crowd, on their feet! The Rock and Mankind have stood their ground! They've made their presence felt here!"
TRIPLE H (furious): "I'm sick of this! That's it..."
LAWLER: "What's he gonna do?"
TRIPLE H: "I'm sick of this! That's it... no more! This damn place isn't big enough for the three of us. D-X, Mankind, Rock, this place isn't big enough for all of us-- somebody's gonna leave. So I'll tell you what..."
(Stephanie whispers in his ear)
LAWLER: "What's Stephanie whispering?"
TRIPLE H: "I'll tell you what..."
CROWD: "Rock-y! Rock-y! Rock-y!"
(Triple H glares as the Rock continues pacing)
J.R.: "WWF not big enough for all three of them, says Triple H! What's on his mind here?"
TRIPLE H: "...you people tonight are going to see the last of the Rock and Sock Connection! Never again--"
J.R. (amazed): "What?"
LAWLER: "Good! Ha!"
TRIPLE H: "--will they be before you because tonight, IN THAT VERY RING..." (apparently McMahons are the only ones who can get popped off that line) "...the two of you-- Mick, Rock-- will fight each other..."
(crowd boos)
LAWLER: "What?"
J.R.: "Fight each other?"
LAWLER: "Yeah, that's good!"
TRIPLE H: "...in a "pink slip on a pole" match..."
J.R.: "A-- a what?"
LAWLER: "Pink slip on a POLE?"
TRIPLE H: "...which means, one of you is gone, tonight... for good!"
(cameras show Steph pointing at the ring sneering, "Fired!")
J.R.: "Does he mean fired?"
LAWLER: "Stephanie just said "fired!"
TRIPLE H: "So guys, as always... D-X has the last laugh! And, oh yeah , we're got two words for one of you..."
(Triple H and Steph both lean into the mic as the Rock and Mankind glare from the ring)
TRIPLE H and STEPHANIE: "You're fired!"
LAWLER: "Ack!"
(And somewhere... Ted Turner drools)
"All this business with Tori has got Kane's mind so screwed up, he doesn't know whether he's coming or going; but one thing's for sure-- Tori was going!"
"Well, the Outlaws delivered Tori to X-Pac as a Christmas gift; we haven't seen Tori since last Monday! She had, no doubt, a holiday in hell with X-Pac... what a holiday Tori must have had, King! What a Christmas!"
"Well, I heard X-Pac exclaim as he drove out of sight, Merry Christmas and oh, he's gonna be up all night! Whoohoo!"
-- Lawler and J.R.
"Hey Crash, you want to open-challenge me; you want to call me out; you wanna trash-talk me? Well, get down here right now; I'm going to show you what happens when you talk trash behind Chyna's back."
-- a ticked Chyna
"I thought Chyna and Chris Jericho were the most bitter enemies, but for some reason, she's coming out to his aid!"
-- Lawler reviewing the current Y2J/Chyna mystery
"Jerry, it's always a pleasure to be here with you! J.R. is a different story..."
-- Hardcore Holly, joining J.R. and Lawler on commentary
"Jerry, you know what Chyna said to me when we were in the ring?"
"No, I have no idea!"
"She wishes she had a man that looks as good as me!"
"Really?"
"Oh, yeah!"
-- Hardcore Holly and Lawler, conversing during the Chyna/Crash match
"What happened?"
-- a woozy Crash after getting beaten up by Chyna; Hardcore is cracking up
"If I could use one word to describe X-Pac, it would have to be gentleman."
-- Tori to a rather suspicious Kane
"The hell was THAT all about?"
"What was that about, King?"
"*I* don't know!"
-- Test, J.R., and Lawler after a friendly gesture from Test backstage causes Tori to freak
"Ladies and gentlemen, from the Mean Street Posse, please welcome your special guest timekeeper, Pete Gas!"
"BOOOOOOO..."
-- Lilian Garcia and the crowd
"Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! It is a four-corners tag team match!" (the Godfather's theme begins) "Now making his way down to the ring, the man that says "pimpin' ain't easy," and if you take a good look at his hos you'll understand why, the Godfather! And his pimp wanna-be, rubberneck D'Lo!"
"Well, Rodney adding some editorial comments to his ring announcing..."
-- Rodney and J.R.
"J.R., THIS is entertainment, right here, baby!"
-- Lawler as the Godfather helps his scantily-clad hos into the ring
"Making their way down to the ring, the two brothers with different mothers, the D-D-D-D-Dudley Boyz!"
-- Rodney
"Now making their way through the crowd, the two pretty boys that are always fighting for mirror space, the high-flying dynamic duo, Edge and Christian!"
-- Rodney
"4:19 Got a Minute?"
-- the back of the Godfather's jacket
"Test don't have too good of luck with women, does he?"
-- Lawler chuckling about Test's earlier encounter with the freaked-out Tori
"Our timekeeper and our ring announcer are doing a number on one of the participants in this match!"
-- Lawler (how many times do we hear THAT line in the WWF?)
"You've got to give credit to the Acolytes! They set up the Posse!"
"What?"
"Oh, wait a minute; what'd I say? I think it was the Posse that set up the Acolytes..."
"Yeah, no kidding!"
-- Lawler and J.R.
"Bradshaw just destroyed a steel chair over the head of Rodney and Pete Gas! The Acolytes are again dismantling the Posse!"
-- J.R. moments later
"He violated me!"
"ARRRRRRRRRRRR...!"
-- Tori (after Test touched her shoulder), and Kane's reaction to that
"Y'know, it's about time you bought me a diamond."
"Well, it took a little while, but that's a heck of a rock, isn't it? Speaking of the Rock, either the Rock or Mankind are out of here tonight, because one of them's getting fired."
"Getting fired... you know who else is going down? Big Show. I think for the new millennium, we need a new World Wrestling Federation champion-- Triple H."
-- Stephanie and Triple H backstage
(There is a knock at the door of Stephanie and Triple H's room backstage. Triple H seems relieved to hear it, since it offers a welcome change of subject from Kurt Angle)
TRIPLE H: "Come in!"
(The Helmsleys leap up in a half-panic as Kane comes storming in, eyes ablaze. A shaking Tori is next to him)
KANE (all up in Hunter's face): "I WANT TEST!"
TORI: "Listen... that match tonight with X-Pac, just... switch it up with Test; Test violated me... just..."
TRIPLE H (starting to grin): "Test--"
(Unexpectedly, Kane grabs Triple H by the front of his jacket drags him closer; Steph's eyes go wide in the background)
TRIPLE H: "Hey, just back off!"
KANE: "MAKE THE MATCH!"
TRIPLE H: "Get off of me!" (straightens himself up)
TORI: "Just switch the match!"
TRIPLE H: "All right, you've got the damn match! You've got the match."
(Tori touches Kane, and they leave quickly)
STEPHANIE (walking up): "Those two... they deserve each other."
TRIPLE H: "No kidding."
"I'm sure you're well aware of who I am and what my accomplishments are, and I'm sure you're well aware of my three I's-- intensity, integrity, and intelligence. And just like so many other cities in this great nation, Greensboro North Carolina doesn't have the most intelligent people in the world." (big heat) "Hold up... and nor will they ever. But just like that old song goes-- two out of three ain't bad! So if you stick with the intensity and the integrity, you'll do just fine. You will!"
-- Kurt Angle
"Ignorance, Incompetence, Impotence"
-- "Three Is" sign in the crowd
"Look at this. An Olympic champion, a world-class athlete, has to wrestle a goof with... look at those cones!"
-- Lawler
"I thought you told me that you told Steve Blackman not to interfere in any more of those matches!"
"I did; I did tell him. He must've forgot; I mean... the guy is not a rocket scientist. You know what? I guess that means Kurt Angle is still undefeated!"
"Yeah."
"Well, he IS a pretty great wrestler... just like you!"
(snort) "I'd KILL him."
-- Triple H and Steph backstage, in the aftermath of Angle's latest victory
"Mankind, you heard it. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon have set up a pink slip on a pole match; the loser will be fired between you and the Rock."
"Michael Cole, I think it's about the stupidest thing I've ever heard of, and I hate myself for even carrying through with it! Because on one hand you've got the Rock, who is, without a doubt, the most electrifying man in sports entertainment..." (crowd pop) "...and is one-half of the Rock and Sock Connection! The truth is, Michael Cole, my career IS winding down, and the Rock's best days are far, far ahead of him! So it'd be a real shame to have the Rock leave the WWF, but in MY mind, in my kids' minds, it'd be a real shame for Dad to leave the WWF as well. So I hope the fans in Greensboro and around the world can forgive me if I do a couple things out there that I may not be proud of, but in this case with my job, my career, and in some ways, my life's dream on the line, I've got to do what I've got to do."
-- Michael Cole and Mankind backstage
"You've been fired before, J.R.; what's it like?"
-- Lawler
"Cut the music off NOW; shut it off! I'm not out here for you people and your entertainment; not tonight." (crowd heat) "I have been in this business for seventeen years! In those seventeen years, I've made a lot of sacrifices. I've given up watching my children grow up, I've spent two hundred lonely days away from my beautiful wife, and NOW, I'm losing my best friend! And for WHO do I do all of this? For you, a bunch of ungrateful, disrespectful people, who tomorrow..." (crowd heat) "...are not even going to acknowledge that you were here to watch my performance!" (crowd heat) "I want all of you people here in Greensboro in the arena, and I want each and every one of you people at home to know, that some TV writer backstage didn't tell me to come out here and say this. I want you to know this comes straight from my heart. I HATE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!" (big heat) "This is where I draw the line! I will NOT make another single sacrif--"
-- a growly-voiced Al Snow in a pre-match rant (interrupted by Y2J)
"Well, so much for that oratory!"
-- J.R.
"Here comes Y2J!"
"That blew your hat off your head! Ha!"
-- J.R. and Lawler as Jericho enters
"Welcome to RAW... is... Jericho! And I was just listening to your list of problems and grievances that you have with all my Jerichoholics, and I have a solution! And that solution is to SHUT THE HELL UP!" (big pop) "But finally, Al Snow, tomorrow people will be acknowledging you; they WILL be talking about the greatest moment of '99... they'll be talking about the night that Al Snow was brutally beaten by the Ayatollah of Rock and Roll-a!"
-- Chris Jericho
"Chyna just gave Al Snow Head! And Snow is flat on his back!"
"...What did you say?"
-- J.R. and Lawler as Chyna thwacks Al Snow with Head, saving Y2J yet again
"I need you to do me a favor. I've got a lot of sexual frustration built up, man... not with YOU, fool!"
-- Mark Henry to a panicked (and very wimpy-looking) Harvey Wippleman
"You want me to date Moolah; HELL NO, HELL no!"
-- Harvey (note that Moolah and Mae, in the background, are wearing almost identical outfits)
"Mankind-- he didn't want it that way! Mick Foley didn't want it that way!"
-- J.R. as Mankind attacks Al Snow for interfering in their match"
"That's the last time I ever help you!"
-- Al Snow to Mankind as he leaves ringside
"My God! Jesus-- Mankind-- he's folded up!"
-- J.R. as Mankind takes a twisted fall from the top turnbuckle
"Mankind's lovely family sitting at home watching this... Daddy's been fired! How do you explain that to two youngsters right after Christmas?"
"I think you're doing a pretty good job of it right now!"
-- J.R. and Lawler
CROWD: "Fo-ley! Fo-ley! Fo-ley!"
(Mankind... microphone in his left hand, Mr. Socko and mask in his right... listens to the crowd for a moment as he stands alone in the ring)
LAWLER: "What's this, now?"
J.R. (dejected): "This makes me sick... physically SICK over this."
LAWLER: "YOU'RE not fired! It's him!"
(Mankind lifts both hands in the air, and the crowd pops)
J.R.: "Last time that Mankind will ever be in a WWF ring."
MANKIND (gasping for breath): "Well, there's never any shame in losing to the Rock, but there sure as hell is shame in the way it came about. Not a very good secret, but Mick Foley was planning on calling it quits sometime in the year 2000..."
(major crowd heat)
MANKIND: "...But by my calculation it's still 1999..."
(big crowd pop)
MANKIND: "...and I think that just-- what just happened kinda sucks."
J.R.: "Me too, Mick."
(Backstage, D-X is shown watching on a monitor and wiping at fake tears)
MANKIND: "So without bragging, I think I've given America and the world a hell of a lot to remember me by..."
(big crowd pop)
J.R.: "Sure have, buddy! ...just getting a little emotional..."
LAWLER: "OKAY, okay!"
(Another shot of D-X observing in the back)
MANKIND: "Sometime when you're a little bored, take out a Mick Foley tape, whether it be Mankind or Cactus Jack... and you put that bad boy in your VCR, and remember that I loved every minute of the last fifteen years."
(crowd pop)
LAWLER: "Remember when he fell off that cage?"
(Backstage again with D-X, who are getting impatient)
TRIPLE H (to the monitor): "C'mon already, quit griping!"
MANKIND: "Do me a favor, don't play THIS match, because what happened tonight at the hands of D-X is a farce. Everybody... have a nice day."
(Crowd pops and begins to stand as Mankind leaves the ring and his theme plays)
J.R.: "This is a shame, and this man deserves what he's getting right now, and that's a standing ovation! A standing ovation! A standing-- come on, King, stand up and show your respect for a guy that-- they're all standing here!"
LAWLER: "Okay, okay..."
J.R.: "Atta boy, Mick! God bless, Mick Foley."
(Cameras check out the arena; indeed, everyone IS standing, including J.R. and Lawler)
J.R.: "Mick Foley is getting a standing ovation, and by God, he deserves it."
(Mankind turns once with fist upraised to the crowd, then turns and continues up the ramp. He lifts his fist once more, back turned to the crowd, before disappearing behind the curtains)
J.R.: "See ya, Mick. This is a damn shame, King. This is a damn shame. I hate these people that made him do this, I hate this McMahon-Helmsley era... it's a damn shame!"
LAWLER: "Do you just hate this NIGHT, J.R.?"
J.R.: "I hate this NIGHT!"
(Backstage, Mankind is saying his goodbyes to an emotional group. He claps Edge and Christian on the shoulder, and also addresses the Hardy Boyz. All of them look upset, including Mankind himself)
MANKIND: "You guys remember something; you're the future of this company, all right?"
(Edge, Christian and the Hardys all start to talk at once-- bidding Mick farewell, thanking him, protesting his leaving, apologizing, and damning D-X)
MANKIND: "No, don't worry about D-X, all right?"
GODFATHER (standing nearby and also looking concerned): "Something's gonna happen, man; something's GOTTA happen!"
MANKIND: "You guys have got a hell of a future, just... take it easy, all right?"
MATT HARDY (whose right eye and cheek are still horribly bruised from his in-ring accident a week earlier): "This is not your place; it's not your time!"
MANKIND: "Give them a little bit of Mick Foley once in a while, will ya?"
"He's a good man! He did a lot for this business; he did a lot for the WWF and our fans--"
"Well, he shouldn't have done so much to tick off D-X! He might still BE here!"
-- J.R. and Lawler on Mankind
"Who's your favorite, J.R.? Oh, I see mine... whoohoo!"
"I thought you might go there."
-- Lawler and J.R. as the camera closes up on the Kat
"We want puppies!"
-- chant from the crowd
"Slow songs don't mean nothing without a woman in my life, like the soul in church voices that make people shout. Life goes good with a slow song in my head, but my life would go better with you in my bed."
-- Mark Henry's poem to Mae
"Roses are red, violets are blue. My breath stinks, and yours does too."
-- Harvey Wippleman's poem to Moolah
"Wow..."
"What an ovation here!"
-- Lawler and J.R. on the crowd's reaction to the entrance of the Hardy Boyz
"What's TERRI doing? Little Terri taking Matt Hardy's place!"
-- J.R. as Terri gets involved in the match, dropping to all fours near a dazed X-Pac so Jeff Hardy can use her back as a springboard to launch a spinkick
"Mark Henry... Mark... can I get your autograph, sir?"
"Well, we're about to eat..."
"Come on, brother; give me an autograph, man! Come on."
"M... A..."
-- a fan, Mark Henry, and a sarcastic Harvey Wippleman
"Hey Mark, can I ask you a question? How come you're such a loser, bro? You lost in the Olympics, you lose in wrestling all the time..."
-- aforementioned fan, just before getting attacked by Moolah and Mae
"She may have a fever; she looks pretty hot from here!"
-- Lawler in an attempt to diagnose what Tori's problem may be
"Whoa, big man, just a sec. I didn't touch your woman, I don't want your woman-- I got enough woman problems on my own; I don't need any more. Kane, what you need to do is give her some Prozac or Midol or something to chill her out, because I didn't touch her at all. But Kane, you wanna fight me over nothing? I'm not going to back down."
-- Test (wow, on a mic!) to Kane, pre-match
"You had no business touching me-- whoa... whoa!"
-- Tori to Test (you'd think, when Tori started saying "whoa" and her eyes got big, Test would have turned; Kane was coming at him with the steps at that point)
"What was Test saying to Tori there? Was he violating her again?"
-- Lawler
"Back on RAW with the World Wrestling Federation champion, the Big Show. Show, this is the last RAW of the millennium. It could also be the last RAW you hold the WWF title."
"Michael, that's very true. It could be the last time. But let me ask-- do you think I don't know what's going on? Do you think I don't see what Triple H does? Ever since Triple H has taken over, everything has become a game. And he is a master at the game. He's a master at putting me through hell! Giving me one challenge after another challenge after another challenge... but I've squashed everybody that I've come up against. And now, the last RAW of the millennium, he's going to walk down that aisle and step into the ring with me, the Big Show. Seven-foot-two! Five hundred pounds of WWF champion! And you honestly think I'm going to let him be the Show-stopper? Buster, it's gonna be Game Over."
-- Michael Cole and the Big Show backstage
"I guess X-Pac's here for moral support, huh?"
"I don't think so... he doesn't have any morals!"
-- Lawler and J.R. as X-Pac tags along with the Outlaws for the Tag Title championship match
"Greensboro... welcome to the dogghouse! Now, they told me I can't cuss; the D-O-double-G won't fuss; I'll just kick it some other style, maybe doggy fashion..."
-- Road Dogg schticking beforehand
"Triple H and Stephanie really laying down the law; now they won't let them cuss!"
-- Lawler
"The New Age Outlaws, in my book, the greatest tag team in the history of the WWF--"
"In the history? In this millennium?"
"Whether you like them or you don't like them..."
"Yeah, but the new millennium may be looking to a new tag team!"
"You may be right about that. It wouldn't break my heart to see the Outlaws lose the titles right here; that might humble the McMahon-Helmsley era... somewhat."
"You know what you're doing right now? You're assuming that Triple H really cares about the Outlaws. You heard what your boy Mick Foley said earlier."
"Well, Mick makes a very good point. I'm not sure that Triple H cares about anything but himself and the WWF championship."
-- J.R. and Lawler as the battle rolls on between Too Cool and the Outlaws
"Why is he still here? You'd think Mick Foley would be in the unemployment line by now!"
-- Lawler
"Uh-oh... Rikishi... RIKISHI..."
-- J.R.; celebrating his dirty win over Too Cool, Road Dogg does not realize Rikishi is behind him until he's scooped up for a Rikishi Drop
"He's gonna leave a greasy spot!"
-- J.R., referring to Rikishi's attempted Banzai Drop/Buttdrop maneuver on X-Pac
"Too Cool's got quite the buddy in Rikishi, who's well over four hundred pounds..."
"I think Macy's wants him to be a float in next year's parade!"
-- J.R. and Lawler as Rikishi puts on X-Pac's D-X hat and begins busting a move in the ring
"Oh, that's enough of that lovey-dovey crap! What ever happened to good, old-fashioned American sex?"
-- Moolah as Mae and Mark Henry cuddle nearby (listen for the crowd pop when Harvey Wippleman pops out from underneath the covers next to Moolah)
"No DQ means no disqualification, ladies and gentlemen--"
"Duh!"
-- J.R. and Lawler
"You know what you gotta do? You need to eat your hat." (picture the expression on J.R.'s face here) "Because there's been no interference by D-X so far, has there?"
"Well, no..."
"Eat your hat!"
-- Lawler and J.R.
"He's knocking Triple H's head off!"
-- Lawler on the Big Show's spirited attack
"Get up, Paul! Sideslam!"
-- Triple H to the Big Show during their match; surprisingly audible
"Look at this-- IT'S MANKIND! Triple H had the Pedigree set up, but Mankind came in with a chair shot!"
-- J.R. as Mankind helps out the Big Show, to compensate for the D-X interference
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