Sunnydaler
Disclaimer: The show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Sunnydale, and any other characters or locations do not belong to the author but to Joss Whedon.
Yeah, I used to go to Sunnydale high. You can tell. We stick out like sore thumbs around this place. I mean, it’s so normal. And our school was so, well, not. Even before the mayor turned into a giant snake and the school blew up. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
See, my sister graduated from good old SH with the class of 1999. Probably the last graduating class Sunnydale will ever see. And having a diploma from that school is quite a feat. I mean, not only did she survive going to school there, she managed to get good grades while she did it!
No one seems to notice but us kids, but weird stuff goes on in Sunnydale. Really weird. Like the time my freshman year that a whole bunch of people went Hanibal Lechter and ate Principal Flutie. My personal favorite was when the cafeteria was completely overrun by snakes. We actually got out of school early for that one. But my parents seem to think Sunnydale is this quaint little suburb. Go figure.
So like I said, no one was really surprised when the mayor turned into that snake-thing at graduation last year. I mean, a town this nuts has got to have a weirdo for a mayor, right? Anyway, this Buffy-chick from my sister’s class knew what was gonna go down (she was always weird like that) and planned this big attack involving the whole senior class. Did my sister bother to warn me? Nope. I was sitting there saving seats for my parents, who of course were running late. They didn’t show up in time to see the mayor eat the principal, no sir! And the cops blamed all the carnage on the explosion, which was actually the only thing that saved us from the giant snake in the first place! I mean, I know you get slow as you get older, but come on!
So now the city council is bussing all of us to Fayetteville High School, which is about a 45-minute trip! I don’t know if they’re planning on re-building the old school or not. Maybe they know something we don’t, because they seem to like avoiding the topic.
It’s weird here. I mean, last month this kid died in a car crash, and it was such a big deal. In Sunnydale you just expect that kind of thing. You should see the memorial section of last year’s yearbook! But here it’s a different story. That kind of stuff isn’t even talked about, let alone a part of daily life!
The kids who actually live here kind of avoid us "Sunnydalers." They’ve heard the rumors. Most of them aren’t even half as bad as what really goes on there. Still, we’re outcasts. Just what I wanted for my senior year. At least I get to have a senior year. Without that Buffy girl around who knows what would have happened.
Everyone keeps asking me where I’m going to school next year. Let me tell you, I’m not going anywhere near here! Nobody from Sunnydale actually goes to Sunnydale U if they can help it. We know better. And those poor schmucks actually pay money to come here and get killed. Go figure. I’m going to LA or NYC or anywhere. I’d be safer living any of those places then here in quiet little Sunnydale.
One of these days I’ll get my parents out of here too. I just hope it doesn’t take my little brother being turned into a vampire to convince them that this place is bad news.
Oh well. For now I at least get to spend my days in a somewhat safe environment. And my grades are getting better. Guess fear isn’t real conducive to learning. Anyway, graduation is in two weeks, and then I’m out of here.
At least I know the mayor of this town isn’t going to turn into a giant snake.
FIN
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