PLAY IT TO THE BONE
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 1999 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): **
Writer/director Ron Shelton opens PLAY IT TO THE BONE with a long aerial
shot of the famous pyramid. No, not one of those old run-down Egyptian
pyramids but one of the fancy new hotels that dot the Las Vegas
landscape, home to the lucrative sports of gambling and boxing. As the
gaudy neon sign on the entrance to the city modestly proclaims, "Welcome
to Fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada."
Probably intended partially as a comedy and partially as an indictment
of the sport of boxing, the movie isn't much of either because of its
badly underwritten script. "Somebody tell me why a Christian is getting
laid, and a heathen like me isn't," is typical of its would-be funny
lines. Shelton's non-subtle idea of a visual diatribe against
professional fighting is to have two friends pulverize each other as the
make-up department applies increasing amounts of fake blood.
The story starts when the fighters in the under card (that's the warm-up
event) for the big Mike Tyson title fight in Las Vegas become
unavailable. One of these second-string fighters has fried his brains
on drugs, and the other has died in a car accident. The sleazy
promoters turn to a couple of washed-up LA fighters to fill the bill,
offering them $100,000 if they'll fly immediately to Las Vegas and fight
that evening.
One of the fighters, the religiously-tattooed Vince Boudreau (Woody
Harrelson), is an unconvincing, bible-carrying Christian, who regularly
sees Jesus and likes to write "Jesus Saves" graffiti on bathroom walls.
When Jesus appears, he looks like a hippie in white robes. After bouts
of profanity, Vince likes to pray for forgiveness. Wild sex with
strangers does not require any such remorse.
Vince's buddy, Caesar Dominguez (Antonio Banderas), says very funny
things, but they are all in Spanish. At least the guy next to me
thought that they were hilarious. Not able to comprehend Spanish, I can
only comment on his English lines, which were singularly uninteresting.
Caesar, we find, was once a homosexual for precisely a year, but he is
vociferously not gay. This plot device allows Vince to ridicule him
through most of the movie.
You might think that these down-on-their-luck guys would catch the first
plane to Vegas, but you'd be wrong. In order to make the story into a
road picture, Shelton has them hitch a ride with their common
ex-girlfriend in her vintage, sea-grass green Oldsmobile 442. The three
of them bicker as they go along the road.
Lolita Davidovich, an actress who has given few, if any, memorable
performances in her career, plays their ex, Grace Pasic. Davidovich
does provide the film's most impressive visual when she dons a shear,
bright red dress that barely covers her body. She is cast as an
inventor of items from sox to periscopes. She thinks she'll find
venture capitalists in Sin City to bankroll her ideas. One potential
investor, the owner of the lavish Mandalay hotel (Robert Wagner), likes
her body but not her revolutionary idea for men's sox.
Also along for part of the ride is Lia (Lucy Alexis Liu), a wild woman
interested only in drugs and sex. She gets plenty of the latter.
The movie culminates in a long fighting sequence in which Vince and
Caesar pound each other until their faces resemble squashed tomatoes.
The completely predicable conclusion seems like it will never end.
PLAY IT TO THE BONE runs 2:00. It is rated R for brutal ring violence,
strong sexuality including dialogue, nudity, pervasive language and some
drug content. The film would be acceptable for older teenagers.
Email: Steve.Rhodes@InternetReviews.com
Web: http://www.InternetReviews.com
Have I seen this movie: No
Will I see It: Eventually on video