afraid

i'm afraid
i'm afraid of growing up
nothing scares me more
than the possibility that
i just may become something i hate
to think that my only nemesis
could be my very fate

i'm scared
i'm scared of being on my own
i don't want to be alone
and how am i supposed to "make something of myself" -
when i couldn't even make my bed this morning?

and the making of a person, a human being,
is much more difficult than:
a tuck here and a fold there
granted, there are those who alter their appearance
by doing just that -
molding the fine linen that is their skin

and this is what society has become:
a race to the all-elusive perfection
here's a special note for all of you,
all who strive to rid themselves of superficial abnormalties:
don't bother
as you try to become "normal" by means of sugery,
you are only foiling your own plans
because, honestly, what is more abnormal than perfection?

but fear is normal
and i take comfort in that
fear is also a perfectly functional emotion
sure, when we're first confronted by it,
being functional seems totally out of the question
but fear is what drives us to dare
fear is what keeps life interesting
and fear is fun,
as anyone who enjoys a good horror film now and then
can certainly attest to
and fear lets us feel
that great satisfaction when you accomplish something
you never dreamed possible
to say you looked into the face of your fear
and said:
"fuck off!"
it may have been true that even you didn't believe yourself,
let alone the ugly face of fear believe you,
but you tried anyway, the heartbeat of a hampster and all
and sometimes, but not all, you succeeded

i still fear my future,
but i certainly plan to tell that fear to fuck off,
and let me get on with my life

what a tangent, eh?  hmm....go back for more poems.