written now and untitled

i've surrendered to the fact i won't sleep tonight
i'm alone and confused - things just aren't right.

my stupid pride won't let others see
the nothingness that lies inside of me.
so who do i have now to listen? 
only the echoes in my head hear clear.

so here i lie in a sea of agony,
just a fraile shadow of what was once me.

who was there for you when you hurt?
and who now leaves me in the dirt?

fuck you for everything i've done.
fuck you for being the one.
fuck you for acting the child.
fuck you for being infantile.

what i felt for you was good and right,
but you for me - it wasn't quite.

i'm amazed by now you  can move on so easily,
when not 2 weeks ago, you were by me.

i guess i'm just not the type of girl
who lets her emotions lead her into such a quarrel.
for i know they are so often wrong,
i try not to let them best me for long.

i hate with such a passion inconceived
that your heart and your words i believed.
if you do not mean the things you say,
in your throat is where the words should stay.

a comforting word you can evoke from me,
at least for now, this is where i'll be.

i gave you more than i gave anyone,
a better me was offered to none.

although it was i who left you first,
it will be me who fares the worst.
the words i said on that day were true -
there'd always be a place in me for you.