Predicted Finish: Fifth
The ’64 Phillies. Thomas Dewey’s ’48 election. The 2000 Whippersnappers. If the Whippersnappers do anything, they certainly do it on a historic scales.
After starting the season 4-2, the Whippersnappers acquired Curtis Martin and Cris Carter for a stretch run and built the most talented lineup in the FFL. But instead of a playoff race, the ‘Snappers numbingly went 0-8 and finished dead last. Worse, the first-round pick they traded in obtaining Carter ended up being the first pick overall.
“It was exasperating," Coach Barry Hennessey said. "In practice, we had Pro Bowl guys everywhere. But on the field, we sucked donkey.”
After enduring the most expensive 0-8 skid in league history, the Whippersnappers dumped all their high priced flops and went back to what the ‘Snappers do best, rebuild with youth and become the “gutty little ‘Snappers” of yore.
In an aggressive deal, the ‘Snappers dealt Carter back to the Beernuts for running back Duce Staley, who missed almost all of 2000 with an injury. And then the ‘Snappers more then made up for a lack of first-rounder by trading for quarterback Donovan McNabb, who will take over the ‘Snappers after three years of Peyton Manning. McNabb was one of the few bright spots for the Beernuts last year, running for nine scores, being named a Pro Bowl alternate and establishing himself as a franchise-caliber quarterback.
The ‘Snappers also got someone with a chip on his shoulder. Even though McNabb was brilliant at times, Beernuts fans harshly trashed him for quarterbacking the first losing team in franchise history. As much as team officials liked him, they did not bring him after intense public pressure to tear the team down. As a result, the ‘Snappers are excited to get a young talent bent on proving his former team, and the ‘Snappers hated rival, dead wrong.
“It was definitely rough,” McNabb said. “You try your best, but people start trashing you and your family because we couldn’t win a championship. But look what Rich Gannon did once he left the Beernuts. I think I can win a trophy and wave it at the Beernuts just like he did.”
To say that McNabb has decent targets is an understatement. Not only did Derrick Alexander, McNabb’s favorite target with the Beernuts, also come to the Whippersnappers, but there is also Terrell Owens, who some scouts rate as an equal to Randy Moss and Marvin Harrison. With Owens and Alexander, McNabb has the FFL’s best receiving tandem to throw to.
“I am excited,” McNabb said. “I never played with the luxury of two great receivers. I know that all I have to do is get them the ball and good things will happen.”
To further boast a potent passing attack, the ‘Snappers acquired Freddie Jones, who could be the best tight end not named Tony Gonzalez. And they are also high on Tim Dwight and rookie Freddie Mitchell, the flamboyant former star from UCLA.
But what will really drive defenses crazy is McNabb and Martin in the backfield. McNabb actually had more games with rushing touchdowns then former teammate Fred Taylor last season. Martin, who rushed for 11 TDs, survived the ‘Snappers youth movement. Considered one of the most dependable backs in football, he is the ‘Snappers answer to a division loaded with great running backs.
“I know we have the capabilities of scoring a lot of points,” Hennessey said. “It’s just a matter of maturing. Unfortunately, our division will make it a little rough. ”
In a division where all five teams are expected to contend for a title, being young might not look as good as it does on MTV’s TRL. But if there’s one thing the ‘Snappers are good at, it’s cultivating young talent. This year’s ‘Snappers are certainly young, but they definitely have the talent to possibly match the achievements from two years back, where a rag tag bunch of kids shocked everyone and reached the playoffs.
Donovan McNabb
Probable Starters
QB Donovan McNabb
RB Curtis Martin
RB Charlie Garner
WR Terrell Owens
WR Derrick Alexander
TE Freddie Jones
K Gary Andersen
D Eagles
ST Titans
Scouting Report
“If there’s anything the ‘Snappers can do, it’s rebuild on the fly. I love McNabb and I love how they acquired him. They should teach that trade to every GM… They’re going to be fun to watch because they’re aerial attack is probably the best in the FFL. But the whole team is held together by Curtis Martin. They have no decent running backs outside of him. They are very lucky because McNabb is kind of like a second running back… Terrell Owens is the best receiver in the FFL. Don’t be surprised if he puts up Moss-like numbers… I like what they did, but in a division with Faulk, James, Taylor and Williams, you absolutely, positively cannot get away with platooning Charlie Garner and Mike Alstott.”