Kloppman Advertisement

*cue upbeat music*

*You see Jack Kelly sleeping in his bed. He wakes up, looks at his pocket watch, and groans*

Tired of those old old pocket watches that never wake you up in time for you to sell da papes.

*Jack nods*

Well, we have a solution.

*Jack looks interested*

Try our new fully awake, always reliable, on time Kloppman. He'll always be there to get you up on time.

*Kloppman walks into scene and tips his bowler*

You don't have to fight with your pocket watches *you see Jack fiddling with a pocket watch* or relying on the sun. *Jack covers his eyes from the bright light of the sun* No! You don't have to, because you could have a Kloppman!

*Kloppman comes back in scene* "That's right! I'll be there to get you up so early, you're gonna wish you never got me. I'll be so loud you can't ignore me. I'll make sure you get up."

And, you can get special features with you Kloppman! *camera goes back on Kloppman* "I'll even poke ya with a broomstick!" *he holds up a broom* Plus, you can tune your Kloppman to whatever 'waking up' quote you want! *Kloppman laughs* "Sell da papes! Da presses are rollin'! Ya dreamin' of sellin' papes!" All of those quotes and more!

So, if you have a hard time getting up to sell da papes. Buy a Kloppman! Anyone else will leave you a sleep.

*shows Kloppman standing proudly with hands on hip* Because you always know that if you have a Kloppman, you'll always be on time. *Kloppman tips his bowler than laughs* "Sell da papes! Sell da papes!"

*in whispering, fast voice* Disney will not be accountable for any unnecessary actions by a Kloppman. If you plan to sue us, we will win and rob you blind. You cannot bring a Kloppman back once you've used it. Don't let you're Kloppman go lazy or get young or lose his bowler and glasses. Once you've bought a Kloppman, he is no longer our responsibly. Offer good until 1899. ;)