The Unknown Newsie

by Coneflower *audience applause* *bows*

There are so many newsie guys who are just so great and well known. Everyone (for some reason) loves Spot ‘er Jack ‘er whoever. I don’t see - I’m a Mushie girl meself *te he*. But, I do have another newsie who I love dearly and yet he is so unloved by everyone else *sniff then burst into tears* *composes self* That’s why I’m here to tell EVERYONE about the wonders that is - JAKE!!!

I don’t know where my fixation for Jake came from. I can understand my Mushie fixation (who doesn’t like that bod *whistles intently*). I only became fixated on Jake a few weeks ago. I guess I actually watched him for once and said ‘whoa’. Okay, so he’s not -that- cute, I’ll admit it. But, dang it! he needs recognition!

He is THE UNKNOWN NEWSIE!!! (that’s his nickname now)

That’s why I’m here to tell you just how great Jake is *gets ready to hypnotize everyone into Jake mode*. He is the overall wearin’ guy with the red vest that I think is just fine and dandy for him to wear - forgot the bowler hat he wears - he’s always taking it off though. His hair cut is…different from all the others. Me likey the black hair (but Racetrack’s hair cut is cuter and Mush’s hair is NOT a brillo pad!!! I can’t remember who keep saying that on the chat [1-15-00] but whoever you are - I’ll get you for it *wickedly laughs then remembers the audience*)

Oh, hello! Back to the wonders of Jake show.

Okay, Jake has a bod (although not as great as Mushie’s but who’s is?). Yeah, he looks kinda chunky but the chuckier the better (opps…that didn’t come out right). When the guys are at Tibbys singing KoNY, you can see Jake’s muscles *whistles once again* their kinda…whoa! His calves are like huge! But, me likey muscles better. Oh, yeah, and if it wasn’t for Jake, Denton would still be holding his plate at Tibbys. Just think, it would of been very hard for poor Denton to dance and sing if it wasn’t for Jake.

If it wasn’t for Jake, we wouldn’t of seen the underwear they wore back then. He showed it off proudly in the ‘waking up’ scene in the washroom *te he*. Yeah, we saw Mush’s underwear too (me likey! me have sick mind!), but only the top of it. And, Jake looks so funny with his pants down *L*. Look, he dropped his pants!!! Oh, great, now I’m making fun of him. (note to self- don’t make fun of Jake while trying to explain the wonders of him).

Isn’t it funny how I keep comparing Jake to Mushie. Oh, well….(have to get off the Mush channel. *grabs remote* got to get back to Jake channel)

Oh yes, the wonders of Jake show. He is the only newsie who did a good "ooooo" when Cowboy insulted the Delancey brothers. You can see him right off to the side of Cowboy - kinda blurred, but who cares. In other scenes you see him in, he is far off or whatever. In STD, he is doing this weird touch feet/kick thing with a newsie who has no name. *cries again* Those poor newsies with no names! Their nameless!! But, that’s another show.

I hope you realize that you love Jake now and will never ignore him. Like so many others, he is an unknown newsie and plainly forgotten. Now, you see the wonders of JAKE, the unknown newsie!