Thanksgiving is over and it was originally a celebration of happiness and family (Well, I'm glad the latter thing is gone. Nothing personal, uncle Alfred, heh heh heh.). I was going to get the family our turkey the day before, I should have noticed that, because I bought the turkey at a lab. There were hundreds of dead bodies lying there with their intestines exposed. I was grossed out, yet I knew that It would be inconsiderate of me to value my life and leave where my family would not like the fact that they would be unable to eat a dry, tasteless turkey. I saw a huge turkey there with huge fangs, I thought it would be tasty. That thing was continually screeching and screeching in anger (Turkey PMS, maybe?). I went to mom's house in New Jersey (I was born and raised there) and everyone was asleep. I left it in the box in her kitchen and went to my childhood bedroom, still having old SPIDER MAN posters and my huge bookshelf of comic books.
The next day I woke up thinking of how that turkey kept making this noise that practically kept me up all night and how It will be slaughtered and gutted (Indeed, the sooner the better.). Later, the family went and sat down to talk to each other while waiting to see the sucker get his head chopped off. Everyone was happy, except for my vegetarian animal rights activist sister. She kept screaming "MURDER!!","LEAVE IT ALONE!!","DEMONS!!", and other crap like that. She kept trying to release the turkey and failed every attempt. But, eventually she released it!!
She then laughed insanely as the turkey turned out to have given birth to 50 other fast-developing turkeys and they all ate her to the bone! I finally got out with the rest of the family before one turkey almost ate my arm!!
My patriotic cousin Frank got us to his house and gave us some weapons, while the older people went into his bomb shelter filled with a dart board with Saddam Hussein on it. He told me that if he dies, he wants me to assassinate a communist dicatator as he would do (That's our Frank, silly guy) if he survives. We shot a few of those suckers until the MOTHER TURKEY nearly ate me!! My cries for help were heard when mom took a grenade launcher and held it in her brittle arms. She shot one and kept cursing at the others and nearly killed every one of them (I should have not taken her to Saving Private Ryan). Frank had enough time to knock the rest unconscious and we sent them to Iraq, at Saddam's place. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, yes even those evil tyrants. PEACE!!
Hope you had a happy Thanksgiving, God knows I didn't.
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