Yankees Against Redneck Ignorance - Y.A.R.I.
Yankees Against Redneck Ignorance
Are you from the northern region of the United States, but have to live in the South?! Are you sick of being hassled by annoying hicks who can't stand to leave the past of the Civil War behind them? Do you hate it when you can't find a MOBIL station anywhere? Well I sure am! That's why I created the Y.A.R.I. (Yankees Against Redneck Ignorance). Here are a few simple steps to kicking some inbred butt!
1. Put up the Union flag. That way you can remind them that "You lost the war, now GET OVER IT!"
2. Buy some tanks full of MOBIL gasoline if you ever visit back home and come back. (It also helps to brag about how much better the MOBIL Gasoline is better than that of BP).
3. Next time you have some Southern people over for dinner, tell them that they've never had bagels until they've been to a Tri-state area bagel shop.
4. Tell them how you know that the Confederate flag they are so desperately trying to keep above the South Carolina state capitol is really the flag of the Confederate Navy. They really hate it when you know more about their history than they do.
5. Put up a sign reading "Underground Crime Organizations: The KKK versus the Mafia, Guess who'll win? Who has guns?"
And African Americans best not feel left out either! You know that when one of your white buddies talk about their "Southern Heritage", they're really fantasizing about whippin' yo @$$ and picking their cotton. Wear the Y.A.R.I.'s official shirt for our African American members containing a burning Confederate flag (The Navy one) with the words "Heritage, my @$$!" Coming Soon!
God Bless America!
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