A Kiss To Build A Dream On

Takes place during "Pennies From Heaven"
by Methos

Detective Jon Rafe, denoted to uniform officer for a day, stopped suddenly as he closed the door to Captain Simon Banks' office. Before him stood Captain Joel Taggert, who had been about to enter the door he was exiting. Rafe stood tall as Taggert slowly looked him up, then down.

„Like a man in uniform?" The younger man all but purred in his best seductive voice.

Taggert took a step closer so to whisper, „Especially when that man's you."

Rafe just stood there gulping air like a fish out of waters as the bomb expect disappeared into Simon's office.

„Detective, are you alright?" Ronda, Captain Banks' secretary asked.

„What?"

„Are you ok?" She laid a concerned hand on Rafe's shoulder.

„You look like you're about to pass out."

„Ah... yeah," Rafe shook himself.

„I'm fine. Thanks for asking though." He smiled, then quickly retreated.

***

Joel stood staring at the door he had just closed between himself and Jon Rafe. He took a deep breath and let the fleeting images that perhaps he'd just

„opened" a door with the young detective. A long dormant but well remembered warmth curled from his belly downward. He sighed as he leaned his forehead against the door frame.

„Joel?" Simon's concerned tone and a squeeze to his shoulder drew Taggert from his reverie.

„What's wrong?" The big man turned to face his friend.

„Nothing... Well at least, nothing that a cup of your coffee won't cure." Sitting down in a chair to the front of Simon's desk, Joel accepted the cup of said coffee.

„I just saw Rafe outside. Why was he in uniform?"

„His punishment for his part in that near fiasco yesterday." Banks answered.

„I seem to remember Brown lead that disaster."

„That's why he's pulling meter duty down town for the next week. And Rafe's only down in Southtown helping with the cash collection today. Do them both good to be back in uniform for awhile."

„I also remember another young detective that once took matters into his own hands and didn't wait for back up." Joel reminded Banks of himself.

„And I was busted down to riding a desk for almost a month. So, I think I was lenient with Brown and Rafe."

„I'm sure they feel the same way," Joel smiled. Banks laughed. Leave it to his old friend to make him see humor in any situation.

„So, what brought you here in the first place?" Banks asked, taking a swallow of coffee.

„I'm not sure," TAggert confessed, turly not remembering why he had come down to Major Crimes that morning.

„A cup of joe, I suppose."

„Well," Banks said, standing up and moving around his desk.

„The pot's always on and you're more than welcomed to it." The tall man slapped Taggert on his shoulder.

„Take your time with that cup," he nodded to the coffee Joel held.

„But I've got a meeting with the Chief over this armor car fiasco."

„I'm glad it's you and not me."

„I could always tell the Chief I need an explosive expert on this case," Simon, said, raising his eyebrows wickedly.

„You wouldn't really do that to an old friend would you?" Joel gasped. Smiled as he opened his office door, Banks replied, "Only if that pot's empty when I return." Taggert's laughter echoed back to him from the door Banks had gone out of. He turned his attention to savoring the drink in his hands. The warmth of the sweet liquid focused his thoughts to the earlier warmth that had fleeted through his body. Finishing the coffee, the big man moved behind the desk to sit in front of the computer there. Quickly typing in his access code, he pulled up the service file of one Jonathan Michael Rafe. He wrote down what was noted as a change of address, then tucked it into his jacket pocket.

* * * * *

Rafe picked up the stereo remote to surf through the stations once again. It seemed his usual channel was set for an evening of experimental jazz that sounded like a room of cats being slowly tortured and everyone else insisted on playing only the current top forty. At last he decided to just turn on his CD. Tossing the remote onto the coffee table, he settled back as Louis Armstrong's gravely voice began telling him what a wonderful world it was. Taking the last swallow of beer from his glass, he sat it down and leaned his head back. Closing his eyes, a vision, a fantasy, that had haunted him all day played itself out again in his mind...

Joel Taggert leaned close to whisper he liked Rafe in uniform. The big man's lips then moved closer, softly caressing his ear, then cheek. Rafe turned his head so lips met lips for a long, slow....

„Stop it, damn it," Rafe chided himself as he pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

„You've got to stop doing this to yourself," he said, jumping up from the sofa.

He paced back and forth a couple of times, before slumping back down onto the sofa and dropped his face into his hands. Again another fantasiful drama began to play...

Taggert's big hands pulled him close, caressing him with a tenderness that Rafe had never known before...

„Please stop," he begged his subconscious. He had become attracted to Joel Taggert from the first time they had met...

Fresh out of the Academy, Rafe found himself working traffic detail at a suspected bomb site. The investigation of which was being seen to by Captain Taggert. Pedestrian traffic had been the worst around the old library building as it was a tourist stop. Rafe had had to use all his wits to keep the site-seers out of harms way. Luckily no bomb was found. After traffic was released and he made his way back to his patrol car, Rafe was stopped by the bomb squad Captain.

„What's your name son?"

„Rafe, sir. Jon Rafe."

„Joel Taggert," The big man said, offering his hand. "You did a good job with the civilians. Made my job a lot easier."

„Thank you, sir." Rafe smiled with pride at the unexpected praise.

„Keep up the good work," Taggert smiled slapping Rafe on the shoulder as he walked away. That had been four years earlier and in those years Joel had become a close friend. Now in the past few months Rafe found himself being lost in daydreams and wet dreams about the older man. Never before had he let himself get so emotionally entangled with a straight man, and he knew Joel was as straight as the day was long. Hell, the man had been married to his high school sweetheart for thirty years, until her death almost a year past now. He had three grown daughters and a grandchild on the way. So why had he let this happen. Why was he so enamored of the bomb squad captain?

„Because he is everything you have ever wanted and if given a chance you would throw yourself at his feet and vow undying love." Yes, he had to agree with his inner voice. In Taggert he found strength tempted with compassion. Humor,honesty and devotion.

Rafe sighed to himself, picking up the empty glass and heading for his kitchen. Yes, Joel was the man of his dreams, but he had to be realistic and admit it was a lost cause and was going to have to find a why to deal with it... But, then again, Joel had said, just that day, he liked him in uniform.

*****

Joel Taggert sat in his car staring up at the brownstone building. He glanced down at his watch. He had now been sitting there for almost an hour. //Either get out and go up to his apartment or go home.//

„It's not that simple," he talked back to himself. What if that little exchange this morning wasn't what I've imagined it was. What if it wasn't flirting, but just the nonsense kidding the guys do at times."

//Well, you'll never know if you don't go up there. Or would you rather live with the regret that perhaps you threw away a chance that doesn't come along everyday?// The big man pulled a small slip of paper from his jacket pocket. 501, was all that was wrote there, but Taggert knew those three little numbers were going change his life. For better or worst he was about to find out. The apartment was located on the top floor of the building.

„I hope there's an elevator" he mumbled as he climbed from his car.

*****

The sound of his door chime drew Rafe from the Tony Hillerman novel he had been engrossed. Tossing the paperback onto the sofa, he wondered who could be at his door at that hour.

„Joel?!" He exclaimed as he peered through the small opening the security chain allowed.

„I was just passing by and... uum... wondered what the new apartment looked like." Since, Rafe made no move to open the door, Taggert continued,

„Mind if I come in?"

„No, no, not at all, please do," Rafe released the chain, stepping back to open wide the door for the other man.

„Take your coat?" He asked, closing the door and replacing the chain. Shrugging out of his overcoat Taggert looked around the large almost empty room.

„You've got lots of space."

„Yeah," Rafe closed the closet he had opened to hang up the coat.

„Or, it could be I just don't have much furniture, yet." He laughed.

„My last place hardly had room for my sofa and stereo."

„You've got room to set up a table and have all of us over for the weekly game now." Joel pointed out as he followed the younger man across the hard wood floor.

„I've got to get the time to shop for a table first." Rafe laughed.

„Make you're self at home," Rafe waved his hand toward the sofa.

„How'd about some coffee?"

„Don't go to any trouble just for me."

„No trouble, I just made a pot." Rafe picked up the cup he had been drinking from,

„Hum... you take it with cream and three sugars, right?"

„Yes, but how did you know?"

„I'm a trained observer," the younger man smiled. And besides, he added silently to himself once in the kitchen. I study you as much as possible Joel. Taggert watched Rafe disappear into the other room, marveling at how different the young man looked off duty. The suits or perfectly pressed jeans gave way to a too large sweater and thread bare jeans. But his host casual attire did little to scare away the butterflies rampaging in his stomach. He leaned back, trying to relax then. The well loved voice of Louie Armstrong helped...

Through the black of night
I've got to go where you are
If it's wrong or right
I've got to go where you are...




„I like your choice of music," he called to Rafe.

„I'm a lover of classics," Rafe informed as he came back into the room carrying two steaming mugs.

„I just don't care for much of the current stuff. To be truthful I don't even consider most of it really music."

„It's not all bad..." Taggert said as he accepted his cup.

„You just have to suffer through too much to find the good ones though." Rafe laughed,

„So, right."

„You make a good cup of coffee," Joel complimented.

„I think we should put you in charge of the coffee maker in the break room at the station."

„Oh, no," Rafe protested.

„I don't want that job." Both laughed, before falling into silence that Rafe would break.

„How have you been... outside of work that is."

„Sometimes it gets hard... lonely." The older man confessed. Rafe reached out and squeezed Joel's shoulder.

„You know you've got friends who are always here for you, if you need us."

„I know," Taggert said, with a slight smile on his lips, but then sighed.

„Late at night is when it's the worst. That's when Sarah and I would lay and talk about everything and anything, and some times nothing in particular at all. I never kept any secrets from her."

„You would have even told her, if you some how found yourself attracted to a man." Rafe could have cut his tongue from his mouth. You stupid, insensitive bastard, he berated himself.

„Joel... I... I'm... so sorry. I didn't mean..."

„It's okay," Taggert laid his hand on Rafe's shoulder, trying to convey to the young man that he had nothing to be sorry about. He moved his hand to lightly touch the handsome face before him.

„Never be sorry for speaking what's in your heart." Rafe tried desperately to swallow down the knot that was formed in his throat. He could only stare mutely as Taggert pulled his hand away, turning to look into his cup as though in it's depths he found distant remembrances.

„His name was Brian. We meet in 'Nam." He took a swallow from his cup, to wet a suddenly parched throat.

„I had just wrote Sarah about him, when we were sent out on an unscheduled patrol." The big man's voice began to tremble. "He died in my arms... and exactly 30 years later, Sarah did too."

Rafe wanted so badly to take Joel into his arms. To make all the past hurts go away. He just wasn't sure the big man would accept that closeness. So, what he did do was just reach over to cover the hand Joel rested on the sofa. To Rafe's surprise, Taggert turned his hand over, curling his fingers around his. They sat like this for some time. Neither man speaking, or even looking at each other. They just sipped their drinks, content in each others company. Joel broke the silence first,

„Until tonight no one but Sarah has ever known about Brian." He sat his cup onto the coffee table, then turned to face Rafe.

„I needed to tell you." He looked down at their joined hands,

„If this is the beginning of something, I want there to be truth between us." A smile split the younger man's face,

„You have no idea how much I want this to be a beginning." Joel lifted Rafe's hand to his lips, softly kissing the knuckles. Just then the clock atop the fireplace mantle chimed midnight.

„God, I got to be going," Taggert ruefully said, squeezing Rafe's hand as he stood up.

„I understand." Rafe said standing up, too. Walking to the door, both men stopped as their attention was caught by the music coming from the stereo...

Give me a kiss to build a dream on
And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss
Sweetheart I ask no more than this
A kiss to build a dream on.


Neither man could find a reason to argue with Satchmo.

Give me a kiss before you leave me
And my imagination will feed my hungry heart
Leave me one thing before we part
A kiss to build a dream on.


Coming together their lips met in a union filled with desire and promises. Rafe wrapped his arms tightly around Joel's neck. His hands coming up to hold the back of the older man's head, forcing their mouths even tighter together.

And when I'm alone with my fancies
I'll be with you
Weaving, romances
Making believe they're true.

Taggert ran one hand up into Rafe's hair and the other traveled down to clench the younger man's ass.

Oh, give me your lips for just a moment
And my imagination will make that moment live
Give me what you alone can give
A kiss to build a dream on...


Pulling slowly apart, Rafe keep his arms around Joel's neck for a few moment seconds.

„Oh, definitely the beginning of something." Joel bent for another kiss, but this one was only a quick parting, brush of lips. He brushed his fingers softly against Rafe's cheek,

„Something very special." Rafe helped Joel into his coat before unlocking the door. He just smiled like a fool as the older man walked out of the door and down the hall.

„Joel!" he suddenly called as Taggert pushed the button for the elevator. The big man turned back towards him,

„Do you like shrimp?"

„Very much," Joel answered, stepping into the elevator and holding down the door open button.

„Let me cook dinner for you tomorrow night, then."

„What time?"

„Eight."

„I'll be here," Taggert smiled, as the elevator doors shut. Rafe shut and relocked his door.

„Thank you, SO much." He spook heavenwardly.

THE END

1: Chloe by Gus Kahn & Neil Moret 2: A Kiss to Build a Dream On by Kalmar, Ruby and Hammerstein II