Memories

by Lucy

Blair couldn't help but notice the strange look that appeared on Jim's face when they met the New Guy.

His lover was a mystery about some things, but when Brian Rafe stood up and came towards them, Jim's reaction was nothing short of a neon sign. His eyes lit up, his cheeks turned a faint red, and his mouth curved in a smile. And a split second later, his eyes went to Blair, and the smile faded.

The blush only increased.

Brian Rafe, at the same time, lit up when he saw him. "Jim! I heard I'd be working with you now. How've you been?" His eyes went to Blair, and his smile flashed broader than ever. "You must be Blair. H has told me about you."

Blair cast a sideward glance at his lover, then returned the man's smile. "And you're Brian Rafe, Henri's new partner?"

"At your service." Twinkling hazel eyes moved back to Jim. "How're you doing, Jim?"

"Uh. Fine. Good. I'm great." Jim gave a restrained smile, unable to avoid casting looks down at Blair self-consciously.

It wasn't hard for Blair to put it together. Jim and this guy had some history. From that self-conscious flush on the Sentinel's face, it hadn't been as simple as a meeting over coffee.

He turned appraising eyes to Brian Rafe. Jim had been open to him about his few experiences with other men, he had just never met one of the other men before. Now that he was, he had to admit he was a little jealous.

Rafe was a hell of a good-looking man. He was young, probably Blair's age. Dark hair, smiling eyes, and a toothy, dimpled grin that lit his entire face. He was tall, slender, dressed to the nines in a surprisingly well-tailored suit that almost looked like actual Armani.

And as fast as Blair put it together, Rafe looked at Blair in a new light.

There was a brief silence. The three men stood in the middle of Major Crimes, awkward, before Jim cleared his throat. "Uh. Maybe we should...Blair, let's..."

Rafe grinned suddenly. "Jim Ellison at a loss for words. Time's changed you." He turned to Blair. "I guess your presence means Jim and I won't be getting together to discuss old times." He flashed a rakish smile.

Jim turned bright red.

Blair was surprised at the other man's openness, but pleasantly. He returned the smile, keeping his voice as low as Rafe had. "I'm afraid you won't."

"I thought as much." Rafe sighed. "Ah, well." He leaned in, turning and wrapping his arms around Jim and Blair's shoulders, walking with them on towards the desk. "Tell me, that Captain Banks...he single?"

Blair laughed.

*******

"So...tell me about Brian Rafe."

Jim rolled his eyes as he hung his jacket up. "As soon as we walk in the door. I should have known."

"Come on, Jim. You have to admit, it's an interesting situation."

"Interesting? To you, maybe." Jim moved to the kitchen, going right to the fridge and getting a beer. Working with his lover as a partner was hard enough, and suddenly he finds out the new guy in Major Crimes is another old lover?

Not that the memories weren't pleasant. They were. He could probably make himself a little hot beneath the collar if he let himself remember just how pleasant those memories were.

"And anyway, I liked him."

"Huh?"

Blair came in behind him. "I liked him. Nice guy. Good looking, too." He met Jim's eyes meaningfully.

"Oh, God. Don't start with this, Chief."

Blair grinned, leaning back against the counter, crossing his arms. "What am I starting with?"

"Don't pull the jealous lover act."

"Jealous? Who's jealous? I said I like the guy, I'm not about to let him have you or anything."

Jim met his eyes, and saw the teasing look in his younger lover's face. He repressed a smile, keeping his expression blank. "I'm glad you're taking this so well. Brian is one hell of a guy, he'd be enough to make me jealous if I was you."

Blair's grin faded somewhat, but he tried to hide it. "You think?"

A bubble of laughter welled up, but Jim's eyes were the only indication. "Hell, yeah. He's a gorgeous guy. He's loaded, he's funny, smart, charming. Hung like a horse, a complete knock-out in the sack--"

"Jim!"

Jim cut himself off, looking surprised. "Oh. Sorry, you may not want to hear that."

Blair stared at him incredulously.

He let the silence go on for a moment, then couldn't hide his laughter. "You're looking mighty jealous now, babe."

Blair's mouth dropped open, and he heaved himself at Jim's side a second later. "You asshole!" His fist slammed into Jim's arm.

Jim laughed harder, his eyes twinkling. He grabbed Blair before he could strike again, gripping him on the shoulders and pulling him close, pressing their chests together. "You know you have nothing to be jealous of, Blair."

Staying grouchy was impossible in the warmth of those arms. Blair leaned against him, his face softening. "You're still an asshole," he said mildly.

"But you knew that when you moved in, so I don't want to hear any complaints."

"Huh." Blair's hand moved, running up the denim of Jim's legs and gripping the waistband. "No complaints here."

"Good." Jim grinned and leaned in for a kiss.

Blair granted him one, smiling when he pulled back.

Jim wasn't willing to keep things simple. His hands moved down Blair's back, curving over his cheeks and pulling him hard against him.

Blair felt a warm flush overtaking him, but he restrained himself. "You want to tell me about you and Rafe?"

Jim blinked, his smile dropping in disbelief. "Are you serious?"

Blair grinned, a familiar look in his eyes, a look that told Jim he was thinking up something.

"Oh, boy. All right, Chief, what do you want here?"

Blair moved his hips surreptitiously, shifting against the increasing hardness he was pressed into. "Hmm. You can usually give me what I want without me asking for it."

Jim groaned, moving his hands up, sliding beneath the last layer of flannel and against the bare skin of Blair's back. "God, I want nothing better." He stroked warm flesh, his eyes meeting his lover's. "But I have a feeling you've got something going through your mind."

"Mmm." Blair arched into his hands.

Jim's eyebrows came up. "So, you want to speak up?"

"Already have. I want you to tell me a story."

"A story." Jim stared. "A story about Brian Rafe?"

"Mmm hmm."

"You're nuts."

Blair growled faintly, moving to unbutton Jim's shirt slowly, snaking his hands in to brush his fingers lightly over sensitive nipples. "Maybe I am," he said, his voice going into a low purr. "But something about the thought of you and that man...it's doing something to me, Jim. I haven't been able to get the picture out of my head." He leaned in, fastening his mouth to rough, stubbled flesh under Jim's jaw. He moved down slowly, licking a small, wet trail.

Jim titled his head back against the fridge, his eyes shutting. "The picture?" he groaned out. "You're getting excited at the thought of...mmm...of me and another man?"

"Strange, huh?" Blair pulled back, tilting Jim's head down and fastening their mouths together. He let his fingers run over the short hairs at the back of Jim's head, opening his lips to invite the slick muscle of the other man's tongue to probe his mouth.

Jim didn't have to be asked twice. He plundered the heat of his lover's mouth, tangling his hands in the thick curls, pulling Blair even closer.

Blair let himself get lost in the sensation, for as long as he could before he had to get a breath. When he pulled back for air, he broke contact, meeting Jim's glazing eyes. "Well?"

"Good God. You don't play around." Jim was breathing rapidly, his eyes darkened with arousal.

"Let's go upstairs," Blair answered with a grin.

Jim groaned low in his throat and grabbed Blair's arm, hauling him out of the kitchen and towards the stairs.

Blair grinned as they moved. "Where did you meet?"

Jim stopped dead on the stairs, turning to Blair. "Is this going to happen if I don't tell you?"

"Maybe. But I'd make it a lot harder for you." Blair's eyes were smoldering, almost gray. "Now get up there."

Jim obeyed, talking fast. "We met when I was working Vice."

"Uh huh?"

"He was a rookie. His first call, he broke up a fight between these two guys trying to run women on the same few blocks downtown. He got himself involved with us long enough for us to bring down both of them." Jim made it to his room, ignoring the light switch and immediately turning to Blair. "What else do you want to know?"

"Everything." Blair moved to him, folding himself in Jim's arms, caressing the larger body of his lover slowly. "How'd you end up going out?"

Jim smiled at the memory, his face flushed under the loving strokes of Blair's hands. "Brian's a pretty straight-forward guy, he was even back then."

"Mmm hmm?"

******

Jim couldn't help dropping his mouth open in surprise. "You want to what?"

"See you." The young officer flashed his winning smile again. "Out of uniform." His eyebrows wagged. "In a manner of speaking, anyway."

Jim could feel himself flushing, and it surprised him. He wasn't one to blush easily. But this guy had thrown him for a loop. "You mean, go out?"

"Why not?" Brian Rafe shrugged easily. "Are you straight? Just say so. I'll mourn the loss for men everywhere, but I won't bother you again."

Jim opened his mouth, then shut it again. Straight. Sure he was. He was just getting out of a divorce. So he was straight.

But he didn't say so. At least, not right away. And fuck if he could figure out why. It could have been the easy, warming smile on the young man's face, or the empty loft waiting for him if he said no and went home.

But how could he saw yes? If he went out with this guy, he would think Jim was...not straight. And he wasn't.

Brian seemed to see his dilemma, and his smile faded thoughtfully. "You look confused."

Yeah, Good word. Jim shrugged. "Uh."

"You've never been out with a guy, have you?"

"No." Jim said it fast, then wondered why the hell he was giving out personal details of his life to this almost stranger.

"But you didn't say no." Rafe studied him. "Tell you what, Detective. If you want to go out and have a few drinks, whatever, we can. And I can give you my solemn oath as a gentleman not to lay a hand on you, or even smile the wrong way, if that's what you want."

Jim swallowed, glancing around. There was no one else in the locker room, but he still felt almost trapped. He felt like he was under some kind of interrogation, despite the easy smile of the man with him.

"Hey, relax. It was just an idea." Rafe held up his hands. "I didn't want to force anything. I'll see you around the station, sir." He backed up a step, grabbing the gym bag he'd packed up, and he shot Jim a quick, no-hard-feelings smile.

Some strange voice in Jim's head told him to speak. "Hang on."

Rafe glanced back. "Yeah?"

"If we go out, you won't call me sir, will you?"

A smile lit the handsome face, more blinding than before. "Don't want to feel like you're taking advantage of your rank?"

Jim laughed sincerely at the thought of taking advantage of the forward man. "I suppose."

"Hell, I'll call you whatever you want."

"Jim would be fine."

********

They had been sitting close all night, trying to talk over the noise of the band playing at the other end of the bar. Jim was warm with a few beers in him, relaxed and comfortable.

Despite the uncertainty of what Brian would think was coming of this, he was having fun. The younger man was interesting, and kept the conversation steered away from edgy subjects.

It was when they stood up to leave that Jim realized Brian had been telling him the absolute truth. He wasn't going to make anything that looked like a forward move on Jim, unless Jim asked for it.

But he wasn't about to ask for it. Not out loud.

He didn't know what he was doing. That was the only conclusion he could come to as he pressed closer to the slightly shorter man as they worked their way towards the doors. He found himself wondering what would happen if he made some kind of move. Some kind of one night stand with a man. What would that be like?

He knew a few things about Brian Rafe at that point. The younger man was honest and open, to the point that probably made other people uncomfortable from time to time. If Jim asked for a night, kept between them, no regrets and no words about it later, Rafe would tell him right out if that was acceptable or not. And then he would keep his word.

Brian was good-looking. He had no trouble figuring that out. Good looking, and obviously experienced with men. The kind of person who would take it slow if Jim wanted...

What was he thinking? Jesus.

"You want to go to my place? Have a night cap?"

Brian's reaction was pleasant surprise, sending Jim a look that should have made the older man self-conscious, but didn't. "Sounds good to me."

"Good." Jim led the way to the parking lot. "You want to follow me?"

"I'll be right behind you, don't worry about that." Rafe grinned and headed for his car. An almost new Beamer.

Jim got to his truck and climbed in, starting the engine and then just sitting for a minute.

Why wasn't he more nervous? He was almost a hundred percent certain that he would be getting laid tonight. In some form or another. But he wasn't nervous. Surprised at himself, but even that wasn't a bad thing. In fact, the whole thing felt a little surreal.

He finally started the truck and pulled out, and sure enough, Rafe got on his tail and stayed there.

The thought made him blush, and in the privacy of the truck he let himself laugh his amazement at the strange day he was having.

*******

"Yeah?" Blair lifted his head from Jim's throat, flushed. "You actually had a one night stand? With a man?"

Jim smiled, pulling Blair back down to him. He was sprawled on the bed by this time, his shirt hanging off thanks to Blair's ministrations, pressing his bare chest against Blair's. "I was going to. That was the plan."

"So what happened?" Blair spoke in between nips of his teeth and gentle licks. "Change your mind?"

"Mmm hmm. But not about that night."

*********

Brian's eyes shone, and under the hair tousled from sleep, with the sheets curled around him, he looked even younger than he was. "Are you for real?"

Jim couldn't help a grin, sitting up facing his new lover. Waking up that morning had been a strange experience. He had felt aches in muscles he had never felt before, and a complete, all-over glow that was stronger than he'd felt in a long time, even before Carolyn. "Yeah. I want to see you again."

Brian sat up, leaning against the headboard, his smile for once almost shy. "That'd be good." His hand played with the sheet absently, his eyes going down. "Guess that means you enjoyed last night?"

Jim laughed at the sudden bashfulness of the forward man. "You know damned well I did."

Rafe's smile went a little crooked, a little less bashful. "Well, you were vocal enough about it, but I didn't want to assume." He grinned. "I was under a lot of pressure, you know?"

"*You* were?" Jim's eyes drifted to the skin peeking from under the sheet.

Brian was pretty much perfect. Annoyingly, along with being rich and nice and handsome, he had a fantastic body and a very impressive Brian Jr. even when he was soft.

"Yeah, I was. I was trying to perform for the whole of gay men. It isn't easy, trying to win straight men to our side."

Jim surprised himself by laughing at that. What should have been awkward with Brian, somehow wasn't. "Well, congratulations. I don't know if I'll stop looking at short skirts, but you've definitely opened my eyes. Another notch for your headboard."

Rafe laughed, sitting up suddenly. "So. You want to do this again." He let the sheets drop, uncovering the nude flesh it was covering. "You know my philosophy?"

Jim's eyebrows shot up, and he could feel a warm flush spreading all over him, stirring his own cock. "Tell me it's 'no time like the present'."

"Something like that," Brian crawled towards him, his eyes gleaming.

That look shot straight to his cock, and Jim was already half-erect, with just that devilish smile.

******

Blair was gaping, flushed with the description of the man who had bedded his lover before they'd met. "Jesus. Why would you ever break up with a guy like that?"

"That was his choice, and I didn't blame him a bit. Still don't. He was trying to have a relationship with a man who didn't know if he was bi, or gay, or just experimental. I was nervous about being found out, so we didn't actually do anything in the way of dating. Just went home and had some pretty damned good sex, and talked. It was nice for me, but I didn't want anything more. I was still getting over Carolyn, and wasn't in a hurry to have something serious with anyone. He wanted more, though, and he decided he had to go out and find it somewhere else." Jim shrugged. "We haven't talked in a while, but I'd like to think we're still friends."

"Huh." Blair rested his hands on Jim's chest, laying his chin on his fist. "So that was your first man."

"First and last, until you showed up."

"Really?" Blair grinned at that. "I'm not surprised."

Jim's eyebrows shot up. "Why not? Think I couldn't get a man if I wanted one?" He grinned in challenge.

"Oh, no. You got me, didn't you? I just figured if you'd ever been with another guy, and told them about Brian, you'd know not to make him sound so damned good. What's wrong with you, Jim? You're not supposed to make your ex's sound perfect."

Jim shrugged. "Figured you could handle it, Chief. Besides, you asked." He laughed suddenly. "Anyway, I know you. You wouldn't get jealous. You'd be trying to think of a way to talk me into calling him over for a threesome."

Blair laughed faintly, but it faded as a light appeared in his eyes.

Jim gaped at him. "I was kidding."

Blair sat up, moving off Jim, his expression thoughtful.

"Blair. I was kidding. A joke."

Blue eyes flashed over to his, and Blair shrugged finally. "Yeah. Joke. You're right, though. May be a crazy idea, but it's tempting."

Jim sat up, his expression incredulous. "You mean you want another man in our bed?"

Blair reached out to him, pulling the larger man into his chest. "Jim, I love you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," Jim replied almost warily. "I love you, too."

"I know." Blair pulled Jim back to meet his eyes. "Nothing would ever come between us, lover. Nothing could make us less close, or make me want you less."

Jim nodded slightly. "You really like the idea, huh?"

Blair shrugged. "If it makes you uncomfortable, forget it. But Jesus, Jim. Just picturing you two together..." Blair reached for Jim's hand, bringing it slowly down to the steel hardness between his legs. "See what it does to me," he said in a throaty voice.

Jim felt the instant revival or his arousal, and he moved his fingers in light caresses over the cotton covering the aching erection of his lover. His memories clear in his mind, he let himself wonder what it would be like seeing Brian again. He opened himself to the memory of that body, that flashing grin, the shy smile Brian had reserved just for him, the morning after.

He ran his other hand through the long, dark curls of Blair's head, looking into expressive, lustful blue eyes.

And all of the sudden, his mind brought him a clear mental image of Brian Rafe and Blair Sandburg naked, together, writhing against each other with him watching. Or the two younger men together, waiting for him, reaching out to him, inviting him into their circle...

A bolt shot to his groin strong enough to make him arch off the bed, tearing a growl from his throat.

He seized Blair, pulling him close to fasten their mouths together. A deep, wet few minute later he broke away, gasping for air. "You...you want me to call?"

Blair grinned. "Only if you want it too, Jim."

"Oh, God. We'll see him tomorrow. I'll talk to him."

Blair's happiness flashed in his eyes, and he pounced, forcing Jim flat on his back and ravaging his lover with hand and mouth, until the detective was reduced to a trembling mass of sheer need and pleasure.

*********

When Brian Rafe looked up the next morning to see two gorgeous, blue-eyed men coming straight to him, he could easily make out the excitement on the younger face, and the cautious thrill on the older.

He grinned.

Maybe he could wait a day or two to ask Captain Banks out.

The End