A Day At The Beach

prequel to After The Beach
by Bast

Jim sat on the couch, watching Blair at the sink. His Guide was wearing his usual almost knee-length shorts and a blue tank top. Jim eyes traveled the length of his Guide's body, starting at the top of his curly head to the high-topped tennis shoes he was wearing. Why did Blair have to be so damn good looking, Jim mused. It wasn't *fair*.

Jim stared at the way Blair's head tilted back as he drank a glass of water, his adam's apple bobbing up and down. Jim tore his attention away from Blair and stared at the tv. Distract himself, that's what he needed, yes.....

"Jim?" Blair's voice broke into his thoughts.

"What, Chief?" Jim said turning back to look at his Guide. Wrong move. The blue tank top accented and drew out his partner's blue eyes, almost causing Jim to lose himself in their depth and color. Shaking his head, he looked over Blair's head instead.

"I'm fixing to leave... okay?" Blair said, watching Jim with some concern. "You okay? You seem to be distracted this morning."

Distracted? Jim almost groaned. "I'm okay." Curtly he turned back to the TV then swung his head back over to look at his Guide. "Where're you going?"

"To the beach, Jim," Blair said, picking up a small cooler and some towels.

"By yourself?" Jim asked, hating the way his voice sounded - nosy, almost.

"Oh, no, man, see, since we got the bill passed, and it's now official, we're going to the beach to have a get together, and a cookout." Blair glanced out the window, and smiled. "Perfect day for it too."

"Bill?" Jim asked, confused.

"You remember? I told you that the coalition has *finally* gotten the Freedom To Marry bill across - now people like me," Blair laughed, "can get married, for real!"

"People like you?" Jim was totally lost.

"You know... bisexual? Married to same sex partners?" Blair looked at Jim with some concern. He had never tried to hide his attraction to men from Jim, hell, he'd even gone out with Rafe once. Well, amend that, he said silently, never hiding his attraction to men *other* than the Sentinel sitting at the end of the couch staring at him like he'd grown two heads. "Everything okay, there, Jim? You look shell-shocked."

"Are you getting married?" Jim blurted, his heart racing, and fear rolling off of him in waves. If Blair left him….

"No, man, I'm going to a *cook-out*!" Blair laughed.

"But you said...." Jim stared at Blair who grinned.

"I said now I *could* if I wanted to," Blair set the cooler down. "That special someone, well.... he doesn't see me the way I see him, ya know? Kinda puts a damper on things."

"He's an idiot," Jim growled.

"Yeah? I think so too, sometimes," Blair grinned, knowing Jim had *no* way to know that the anthropologist was talking about him, but as with most private amusements, he couldn't help but laugh.

"Well...." Jim looked at Blair almost wistfully before turning back to the TV. "Have a good time."

"You want to go? The only reason I haven't asked is... well, I don't want you to be uncomfortable." Blair said softly.

Jim glanced at him, and Blair stared at the flicker of.... what? What *was* that - in Jim's eyes, which the Sentinel quickly buried under all those protective layers that he showed the outside world. "No, thanks anyway, I'd just hamper your style."

"No you wouldn't Jim... I'd love for you to come and be with me," Blair's blushed, and hurriedly tried to fix it "I mean, you and me together – I mean, oh hell, you know what I mean!"

Jim laughed, and Blair's heart soared the way it always did when Jim laughed. "Really, I don't want to be in your way, Blair."

"You won't! Really. Most everyone is a couple anyhow, except me.... and maybe Rafe and H will show - so if they do, they'll be together, and a few other single guys," Blair said sitting next to Jim. "I don't know how many lesbians will be there, but...."

"H and Rafe?" Jim choked.

"Sure, you didn't know? Rafe really cares a lot for H," Blair said with a smile. "He's hoping someday that straight boy'll change...." Blair's smile faded. "I told him not to hold his breath." A look of sadness slipped across Blair's expressive face, and he shook his head. "But that's neither here nor there."

Jim wondered about the look on Blair's face as he found himself nodding. "Sure, if you really want me," he murmured.

"Oh, I do!" Blair said with a grin. "Oops! Did it again!"

"That's okay, I know you're a flirt!" Jim said with a smile, as he stood up. "Can I bring my board?"

"Sure, we're going to the *ocean* Jim," Blair said with a smart-ass smirk.

"Okay, hot shot. Let me get changed, you go load up the truck," Jim ordered with a grin.

"Now the Guide has to suffer menial labor tasks?" Blair said, grabbing his keys.

"You didn't think I kept you around because of your sparkling personality, did you?" Jim grinned at the goofy look on Blair's face.

"Funny, Jim, funny!" Blair laughed, dancing out of the way of Jim's halfhearted swing.

Jim went upstairs, and slipped off his jeans and underwear, laying his shirt over the chair by the bed. Pulling on black trunks and a white tank, he sighed and looked at himself in his dresser mirror. He loved Sandburg so much. But why would someone like Blair look at him twice? Blair was everything he wasn't. Blair was a wonderful person, in and out. He never felt wonderful, except in Blair's presence.

Sitting on his bed, Jim put on his tennis shoes. Jim had never been with a man... never wanted to, really. Well, that was a lie. He'd *thought* about it... but never really wanted anyone like he wanted and needed Blair. Blair was the star in all his fantasies and dreams - he imagined Blair moving over him, those full lips telling him how much he was loved... Jim moaned and held his head in his hands, massaging his forehead.

"If you're gonna take your board, man, you'll carry it - no way am I carrying it," Blair called up.

"No, Blair, think I'll just swim," Jim called back, tying his shoes.

"Okay," Blair said, moving around downstairs.

Blair might be his salvation, but he couldn't saddle his Guide with a middle-aged balding cop – besides, Blair wasn't even interested in him. Jim had seen the guys Blair dated. All academics, not that he was a moron, but certainly not in the same intellectual class as Blair - and on top of the fact they were all academics, they were all around Blair's age. And Rafe! Rafe had asked Blair out, and Jim had felt an all-fire, consuming rage when Blair had accepted. But it obviously hadn't gone well, because they'd only gone out that one time, and Rafe had brought Blair home early. Maybe he'd ask why Blair didn't go out with Rafe again.

Going downstairs, he saw his Guide looking through his bookcases. "Hey, Blair, I always meant to ask you – why didn't you ever go out with Rafe again?"

Blair had his head bent down, looking at the bottom shelf, and said, "'Cause he's a cop, Jim," even though his Guide's voice was muffled, Jim got the message loud and clear. Disappointment shot through him. He'd always hoped, in one corner of his mind, that Blair would fall in love with him despite all his faults. Glumly, he moved over to the couch and stared at nothing.

Blair bounced out of his room, all smiles. "Let's go, Jim!"

"Okay," Jim moved slowly behind Blair, mechanically locking the door and then going down the stairs. Before he knew it, they were on their way, Blair talking a mile a minute and him nodding every so often to let Blair know that he was listening.

Listening was really the wrong word. The older man sometimes couldn't remember what Blair said, but he always was aware of his Guide. His beloved's voice always washed over him gently and calmly, and he smiled. Beloved. Blair *was* his beloved, even if Blair didn't know it.

"What's so funny, Jim?" Blair asked, curiosity coloring his voice. He hadn't been saying anything funny, so he was slightly confused.

Jim was silent until he stopped at a red light, then he looked at Blair and smiled the smile that *always* made Blair realize how much he loved his Sentinel, and how he couldn't live without him. "I just was thinking about you, Chief."

"You were?" Blair said, a smile stealing over his face. "Turn here," he instructed, pointing.

Jim turned, and the truck went smoothly down the blacktop road to the furthest picnic area. Pulling in next to Rafe's Mustang GT, the Sentinel looked around, and saw the two men he worked with on a blanket, talking. There were others there, but he couldn't help but zero in on Rafe's face. He looked happy, but his eyes were almost sad.

"Rafe and Brown are here," he announced, "And Rafe doesn't look too happy."

"Must not be going too well," Blair muttered as he climbed out of the truck. "I told him –"

"Have you ever been in love with someone who identifies as a straight man?" Jim wondered out loud.

"Oh yeah, and it sucks, man," Blair said with a grimace as they began to unload the truck.

"Well, surely they can change their minds, too, can't they?" Jim stopped reaching in the truck and looked at Blair.

Blair smiled and shook his head.

"What do you mean, no?" Jim said.

"I mean no. Straight men *mostly*, not all, of course, get creeped out by the idea of laying with another man," Blair said, sadness in his eyes too.

"Do I know this guy? I mean, it seems like... well... like you really love him a lot?" Jim asked, holding the larger cooler that Blair had substituted for the small one he had originally planned on bringing.

"Yeah, you know him," Blair said, not wanting to lie.

"Is it Brown?" Jim said, his mouth hanging open.

"Jim! Brown is not the only straight man we know, you know..." Blair laughed. "I'm not *even* going there, man!"

Slowly, they made their way to the beach, and set up near Rafe and Brown's spot. The two men were off swimming, and Jim smiled as Blair meticulously laid out everything. "Come on, Jim, let me put sun screen on your back," Blair ordered as he sat down cross-legged on the blanket.

Jim pulled off his tank top, and sat down in front of Blair, saying quietly, "You never really answered me - do you love this guy *a lot*?"

Blair was silent as he spread the cream across Jim's broad back. Then he quietly began to speak. "Oh yeah, Jim, I can't lie, man. I love this guy... more than life itself, you know? You ever loved anyone like that?"

"Yes," Jim whispered, feeling Blair's almost naked body so close to his... must touch... must.....

"Hey, Hairboy!" H said with a grin, flopping down near Blair.

"Hey, H, what's new?" Blair said with a smile, wiping his hands on a towel he had brought. As Blair slipped off his tank top, Jim took the lotion and began to rub it on Blair's back and shoulders.

"Pretty good turnout, huh?" Rafe remarked, looking around at the loving couples on the beach.

Jim smelled Rafe's Eternity cologne mixed with the saltwater, the hot dogs. hamburgers and chicken cooking on the grill down the beach a ways, and worst of all, the sweat and the sand. His head began to ache and Blair must have seen it. Leaning back, close to the older man, Blair began to talk to him in a low voice.

"It's okay, Jim... smell, huh? Okay, listen to me....." His lips moved near Jim's ear, softly speaking as his hand rubbed Jim's arm. To anyone watching, they were just another in love, same sex couple on the beach. In reality, Jim's heart was going into overdrive, his desire and need to get close to the man he had fallen in love with turning his stomach and thoughts into a topsy-turvy mess.

Without a word, headache forgotten, Jim jumped up and headed towards the ocean, jumping into the water, the coolness surrounding his heated body. Swimming until he felt his desire for Blair lessen slightly, he headed back towards shore.

Finally exiting the water and heading back to Blair, Jim was unaware of the many admiring glances he was receiving. The water rolled off his hard body, the tight black trunks showing his slender hips and tanned body to an advantage.

Blair stared at his partner walking calmly across the beach and swallowed, thanking God he wore loose trunks, because his cock felt like it was 50 sizes bigger than his normal erection size.

H glanced over at Rafe and swatted him on the arm. "Get your eyes off of Jim... he's not yours." Rafe blushed and grinned, shrugging his shoulders. H laughed, hugging the other man's body close.

Finally, they began to eat, Jim still silent. Blair talked more than enough for the two of them. Jim watched how close Rafe and H sat, then glanced at him and Sandburg. They were sitting just as close. Means nothing, he decided.

Jim began to eat his fried chicken that Blair had brought, and leaned a little closer to his partner.

"So, you and Blair set a date yet?" H asked innocently, eating a chicken salad sandwich.

Jim began to choke, as he stared at H. Blair turned red. Rafe began to laugh. H looked around, confused. "What? What did I say?" Brown asked no one in particular. Jim headed back off up the beach, towards the bathrooms.

"We aren't getting married, H," Blair said quietly, watching Jim walk off. "We do need to go, though, so I guess we'll be seeing you two tomorrow at work."

"I've got court in the morning, but I'll see you tomorrow afternoon, okay?" Rafe said with a smile.

"Sure. See you all then," Blair hurriedly shoved things in bags and began to carry them back to the truck.

Sitting in the truck, he waited on Jim to come back, feeling very sorry for himself and nervous. He watched Rafe talk to H and sighed. Finally, Jim came back, and stared at where they had put the blanket. Blair watched Jim talk to Rafe and H, Rafe gesturing up towards the truck. Slipping out of the truck, the anthropologist walked across the parking lot to meet Jim, and handed him his tennis shoes.

Turning back, he was surprised to feel Jim's strong grip on his arm, pulling him back. "What Jim?" Blair asked nervously, turning to look at Jim. The clear blue eyes bored into his, and he stared back, not flinching.

"Nothing. Let's go," Jim said abruptly.

Blair stood in the parking lot, watching Jim climb into the truck. Sighing, he followed.

The ride back to the loft was conducted in silence, and Blair frowned. He frowned the whole time they carried the things from the truck to the loft. Jim noticed, and began to frown also.

Finally everything put away, the two men looked at each other. "So say it, Jim!" Blair burst out angrily.

"Say what?" Jim glared at Blair.

"Go on, tell me how embarrassed you were... how it's *my* fault you were mistakenly thought to love me! How loving me would be a big, huge embarrassment to big, tough James Ellison?" Blair raged.

"I don't think that, Blair," Jim said quietly.

"Riiiight! Sure, Jim." Blair turned away, hurt and angry. He whirled back around and shook his head. "I don't even know *why* I ever wished for you to fall in love with me! I've tried to be your everything, and all for nothing!"

"What?" Jim said, watching Blair's frenzied motions as he ranted and raved.

"Remember we were talking about who I love, man?" Blair said softly. "And how it sucks to be in love with a man who is straight?" He didn't even let Jim answer. "For the last five years I've loved a man who is straight... and that man is you. I'm going to bed. This afternoon has been hell." Blair started towards his room.

"You love *me*?" Jim said, disbelieving, his heart pounding so hard in his ears that he couldn't concentrate.

"Yes, I love you," Blair said, not turning to look at Jim. When Jim didn't say anything else, he went to his room, and undressed. Looking down at his sand covered body, he decided to take a shower. Exiting his room, he didn't see Jim anywhere. Sighing, he made his way to the bathroom and stripped, putting the water on a little more than warm. He stepped into the shower, letting the water run over his body, closing his eyes.

Jim stood at the doorway to the bathroom, peeking in, watching as his partner moved under the spray, turning one way and another. He saw the sadness on his Guide's face, and felt horrible. Guilt reared its head and propelled him forward. Standing mute right outside the clear curtain, he stared at the handsome body that was his partner's. He wanted to touch, to run his fingers across that hair, across that body....

"Jim!" Blair's outraged voice brought him back to his senses. "What are y-"

"I love you too," Jim said, his voice low.

Blair stood there, the water flowing over his body, his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide.

"Always loved you. Just.... just didn't know what or how to say it," Jim said, hanging his head, his fingers curled around the edge of the thin sheet of plastic separating the two men.

Blair reached down and turned the water off. He opened the shower curtain, and stood there, looking at Jim. "Look at me, please?" Blair said softly. Jim looked up, forcing himself to meet the blue eyes that had owned his soul forever.

Jim backed away to let Blair step out of the shower, wanting to run, feeling very shy. Blair must have noticed that too, because he quickly wrapped a towel around himself and stepped closer to Jim. Looking into the older man's face, he reached up and stroked Jim's cheek. "Love you so much, Jim.... please don't be playing with me, here." Jim looked away and shook his head. "I want forever with you, man. I can't help it."

"I want... I want to be your everything, Blair," Jim said, his arms pulling Blair close, feeling the droplets of water slide between their skin.

"You already are," Blair said softly as he pulled Jim's head close to his and touched his lips softly to his soulmate's.

With something akin to a sob, Jim relaxed into Blair's strong arms and opened his mouth, willing to let Blair lead. Blair's tongue smoothly slid into the larger man's mouth, exploring and soothing in turns, as Jim moaned deep in his chest. Reluctantly, Blair released him, and smiled. "I love you, we'll take it as slow as you need -"

"More," Jim begged, pulling Blair closer, wanting to lose himself in the soft touch of his Guide.

"Okay, okay... whoa... come on Jim, take a shower, then let's go to bed....." Blair said, stroking Jim's chest. "Okay?"

Jim nodded, and released Blair, watching as Blair moved away from his Sentinel once again.

"Jim, it's okay. Always together, babe, always. Promise. Want me to stay here while you shower?" Blair spoke gently, knowing instinctively that Jim was feeling insecure. Jim shook his head. "Okay... I'm going to comb my hair, then I'm going upstairs."

Quickly making work of his hair, Blair glanced at Jim who was still staring at him. "Do you want me to stay?"

Jim jumped, and shook his head no, turning on the water as he did so.

"I'll be upstairs." Blair said, first going to his room, grabbing some scented oil. Then he slowly went upstairs, pulling the covers back. Hanging his towel neatly over the rail and setting the oil down, he thought about the step he was about to take. Sliding into the bed, he sighed happily, looking around. The only thing missing was Jim... Jim's arms to hold him tight and never let him go. Blair closed his eyes, imagining how good that would feel, and dozed off.

Jim came to the top of the stairs, looking at his partner in his bed. Worriedly, he looked down at himself, wondering if he would please Blair.

Sliding in bed, Jim was pleased to see Blair's eyes open and a smile steal across his expressive face.

"Hi Handsome," Blair winked. Jim blushed and slid down in bed. Blair rolled on top of him, and looked down into the handsome face that was still pink. "You are so wonderful, Jim."

Jim smiled a little, and reached up to touch Blair's damp hair. "I love you, Blair."

"I love you too," Blair said with a huge Sandburg patented smile.

"Make love to me?" Jim asked wistfully.

"Oh, yeah, Jim, are you sure.....I don't want to rush -" Blair was stopped by the hungry mouth devouring him.

Finally, his mind caught up with his body, and as he broke away from Jim's utterly wonderful lips, his hands began to stroke Jim's ribcage as he nibbled on the older man's ear. "So damn sexy," Blair muttered as his hand slipped between their bodies to touch Jim's cock.

Jim's hands busily explored Blair's body, from his back to his ass, and finally, to his cock. Blair moaned, and pressed tighter against Jim. "Squeeze me, Jim, oh please, yeah...."

Jim, wordless with delight, rolled them to their sides, and looked at his partner, the bright eyes in the younger face shining. His large hands stroked and tweaked Blair's nipples as Blair's hands mirrored Jim's in their actions.

Their breaths harsh and gasping, they began to move together when Jim pulled away, a mute appeal in his eyes.

"What, babe?" Blair said, softly kissing the older man. "Tell me."

Jim looked down at his lover, cradled in his arms and pulled him closer, whispering, "Love you, need you... in me?"

"Babe... you're a virgin, aren't you?" Blair looked into the eyes that held nothing but trust for him.

"For you," Jim nuzzled Blair's neck.

"Okay... are you sure?" Blair said, stroking Jim's short hair. Jim nodded with a smile. "Okay, on your stomach....." Softly, Blair coached Jim through each step, gently fingering him, gently bringing him back to pleasure. "Condom?"

Jim shook his head no, turning onto his back again. "You and me... always. You promised."

Blair looked down at his Blessed Protector and smiled. "Always. Promise."

Kissing Jim again, he tried to get him to roll to his stomach again, but Jim resisted. "Face to face, please, Blair?"

Blair kissed him softly then knelt between the outstretched legs. He looked at the face of the man he'd always loved – always would love, and nodded. "Face to face."

Slowly Blair entered Jim, coaxing and murmuring endearments, his hands stroking the flat stomach, Jim's thighs, his cock, any part of Jim he could reach. Finally, he was all the way in, and he stopped, watching Jim. The lines of pain on the big man's face faded as the moments ticked by, and Jim moved against him a bit, causing them both to gasp.

Gently, Blair rocked back and forth inside Jim, causing the older man to mumble, "More, more," and Blair carefully obliged. Soon they were moving together, both of them stroking and loving the other as their bodies responded to the flow of love between them, the love that had always been there.

Sated and content, they lay wrapped up together, Jim kissing Blair's face, as the younger man's hand stroked across Jim's chest. "Love you forever, Blair."

"Oh Jim... Love you too, forever." Blair said, snuggling closer.

"Always?" Jim asked quietly.

"Always." Blair answered, the Guide always knowing what the Sentinel needed. "You want to marry me?"

"Huh?" Jim looked down at Blair.

"I said, want to get married? As in, would you marry me?" Blair smiled up at Jim's amazed face. "Yes," Jim nodded.

The two men sealed the promise of their lifelong union with a kiss, holding each other tight, preparing to face the world with all their combined strength, loving each other always.