Whistle down the Wind

by Lucy Hale and Kimberly Lynn Workman

Whistle down the wind

Let your voices carry

Drown out all the rain

Light a patch of darkness

Treacherous and scary

Howl at the stars

Whisper when you're sleeping

I'll be there to hold you

I'll be there to stop

The chills and all the weeping

Make it clear and strong

So the whole night long

Every signal that you send

Until the very end

I will not abandon you

My precious friend

So try to stem the tides

Then you'll raise a banner

Send a flare up in the sky

Try to burn a torch

And try to build a bonfire

Every signal that you send

Until the very end I'm there.

So whistle down the wind

For I have always been

Right there.

"Rafe, you can say no to this if you want," Blair offered.

"Same to you, Sandburg."

"Yeah." Pause. "So why are we both still here?"

Rafe chuckled faintly. "No idea.”

The observer released a breath and peered off into the night. He knew perfectly well why they were there; and Rafe knew as well. They were there 'just in case'. It was a lousy feeling; to be sent somewhere 'just in case' something happened. But something was going to happen and it was going to happen to their partners, Jim and Henri…so they just sat and waited. Blair cleared his throat quietly. He had never been good at this -- the stakeout side of cop work. Sitting for hours in one place…the tedious action made him shudder.

"So. Um. Rafe. You have a bet on the game yesterday?" Sandburg was trying to make conversation to fill the silence.

Rafe winced slightly. "Don't remind me."

"No way, man. You bet against the Jags?"

"Hindsight is twenty-twenty, I'll have you know," Rafe retorted.

"But...you bet AGAINST the JAGS?"

"Hey, I thought I'd beat the point spread."

"Uh huh." Blair shook his head with a grin.

Rafe shifted in his seat, his fingers drumming the steering wheel for a moment in no recognizable rhythm, and then they shifted to his knees again. "This sucks."

Blair chuckled. "That's my line, pal."

"Sorry."

Blair shifted, blinking down at the lights of the city. "Nice view from up here."

"Mmmm." There were another few minutes of silence.

"Yeah, but...against the JAGS?" Blair wasn’t going to let this go.

Rafe raised his hands in a gesture of supplication. "What do you want from me? This isn't my country. That's not my sport. How was I supposed to know?"

Blair shook his head. "Common sense. Besides, you don't bet against your own team."

"My team?" Rafe responded with surprise.

"C'mon, Rafe. Loyalty towards the state, or the region, or the country. It's what makes America great."

"It's what makes America like a smug older brother to the rest of the world.”

“Aww, come ON. Haven't you got some hint of devotion?”

“Of course I do." Rafe's voice was suddenly sharp. "That's why I'm freezing my ass off here."

Blair's eyes swung to his car-mate immediately. "I didn't mean it like that, man."

Rafe hesitated, then blew out a breath. "I know, I know. I guess this whole thing is making me grouchy.”

“Hey, no problem. Look, Jim and H are gonna grab these guys, easy. Then we'll all go out for a beer and it'll be like the whole night never happened.”

“Sure." Something was definitely not right here.

"Something bothering you, Rafe?”

“No!” He bit off the remark.

“Uh huh.”

“You really wanna know? This whole thing stinks. The fact that Henri and Ellison are down there being heroes and we're up here playing look-out; it stinks. What the hell was Simon thinking? Just because we're the youngest, or the newest members of the team, he thinks we have to sit and watch real cops work so we'll know how it's done?"

Blair blinked in surprise at the outburst. "Hey, Simon didn't ask us to come watch. We're doing this on our own, remember?”

“Yeah, sure. What we were supposed to do was stay at home and let them handle everything." The bitterness in the young detective's tone, the thickening of his slight accent, made Blair realize that this was more serious than he thought.

"You worried about Henri?”

“Of course I'm worried. He's my partner,” Rafe bit back.

“What're you mad at?" Rafe glanced over at the student.

"Mad?" He didn't insult either of their intelligence by pretending he didn't know what Blair was talking about. Instead, he sank back into the car seat. "I don't know, exactly. Ever since I joined you guys, I've been...I dunno, trying to prove myself. You have to know what I'm talking about, right?”

“Of course I do.” Sandburg did know. He felt that he had to prove himself everyday; not only to Jim, but also to the world at-large.

“It's hard; joining up with a group of people who are already close, who've already worked together and counted on each other. You have to prove yourself. And you can't do that if Simon's always telling you to stay home or your partner's always telling you to get back or stay in the-“

"-In the car," Blair finished with him, surprised. "Henri really says that to you?”

“Not as much as he used to, but yeah. First few times we worked together, I'm surprised he even let me leave the station." Rafe smiled crookedly. "He'd kill me if he knew we were up here.”

“He'd have to beat Jim to it." Blair glanced down at the car that held their partners, silent and dark. He hoped Jim wasn't flexing his senses too much as they waited for this top-secret meeting to take place, but he accepted that he would probably be discovered. Fortunately, he counted on the fact that Jim couldn't give himself away by getting out of the car and coming up there to kill the two younger men.

"It's ridiculous, isn't it? I mean, we're both grown men, even if we are a little younger and a little less experienced than our partners."

Blair grinned ruefully. "But try telling them that."

Rafe rolled his eyes. "No thanks. Had that argument one too many times.”

“Huh. Us too." Blair paused, thoughtful. He had always figured Jim was so uptight and overprotective because Blair was a stranger to the cop world. Or maybe it was even a Sentinel thing. He hadn't guessed that maybe it was just a common experience in a partnership. And he was supposed to be the Observer. He wasn't very observant to things that should be obvious. But it opened up new territory. Suddenly, here was a man who understood every aggravation Blair felt, but couldn't express to his partner. Here was the chance to sort through what he felt every time Jim told him to stay back or to keep his mouth shut or to just follow his lead.

"Rafe?”

“Hmmm?”

“You ever want to just slit his throat?"

Rafe glanced over, grinning. "All the time. But no, nothing that messy.”

“No, might ruin your thousand dollar suit.”

“No picking on the clothes, Sandburg, unless you want some comments about the hair.”

“What's wrong with my hair?" Blair asked innocently.

"Nothing…if you're female.” Rafe laughed.

“Oh, don't start that. You're way too young to be listening to these old guys who think men can't have long hair."

"See? You're getting defensive. Now you know how I feel.”

“About your Armani suits? Why would you get defensive about that?"

"Because,” Rafe said flatly, not giving away anything in his voice.

“Ahhh," Blair stated, but didn't look away.

Rafe sighed. "It's a long story, Sandburg.”

“And we're trapped in this car together with nothing else to talk about until the perps show up.”

“It's stupid, okay?” Rafe tried to throw Blair off his current line of questioning.

“Can't be if it gets you this upset.”

“I'm not upset," Rafe countered, obviously lying. Blair met his eyes. "Look, I don't like talking about it. To me it makes perfect sense, but if I try and explain it out loud, it...”

“Loses its impact, comes out wrong, makes you feel stupid…makes you feel like you shouldn't feel the way you do."

Rafe shook his head after a minute. "You've gotta stop reading my mind, Blair. It's-”

“-Spooky." Blair grinned. "You know, Rafe, I think we've got more in common than we thought." Rafe tossed a smile over at him, but when his eyes locked on Blair's, the smile faded.

"Blair, are we friends?” Rafe asked with heartfelt concern.

“What? Sure, of course we are,” Blair replied. He was unsure why Rafe would question this.

“Nah, I don't mean 'friends' friends, like all the guys in the department are supposed to be friends. I mean...well, when you were asking about my clothes, did you really want to know or are you just trying to pass the time?”

“A little of both, actually," Blair replied with a smile. "Where's all this coming from?"

Rafe shrugged, gazing out the window to the ground below. "I dunno. I'm not really good at this kind of thing. You know, talking about stuff. Like this.”

“Most people aren't.”

“You are."

Blair thought about it. "I guess so. Sometimes. Does that mean you're going to tell me what's bothering you?"

Rafe made a face. "Nothing's bothering me, Sandburg. Really. Nothing important. I'm just...I guess I'm just trying to figure out how I fit in around here.”

“What do you mean?"

Another tense shrug. "I've always been bad at reading people, and you guys are tougher than most others." Blair smiled.

"Oh, like you're an open book yourself."

Rafe glanced at him, surprised. "Me? Hell, yeah. What you see is what you get.”

“Uh huh. So tell me about the clothes."

"Why?” Rafe’s attempts to get Sandburg off his back were failing miserably.

“'Cause that's what I see. I wanna know what I'm getting."

Rafe sighed. "Not gonna let this drop, are you?"

"Nope," Blair replied cheerfully.

"Okay. If you really wanna know." Blair turned and settled himself to where he faced the young detective. Rafe sighed, and hesitated, lost in his thoughts for a long moment.

"I grew up.... well, poor. Dirt poor. The town I grew up in, near Pretoria, it was a poor town, but we were still pitied by our neighbors. I had to go to school and work in hand-me-downs that were decades old, sometimes in bare feet. I mean, we were pretty damn poor."

He faced the windshield again, gazing out at the world beyond without really seeing anything. "I don't have good memories about those years. None at all. But that's what I remember most was going into town, to classes, or to one of my jobs and being laughed at. Always, even by kids who weren't much better off than we were. I never made any friends because I was always being picked on. And it was because I looked like a piece of trash from the street. You know, if it had just been the kids, it wouldn't have been so bad, but I could see it in the adults, too. Whenever I walked down the street, I would get these pitying looks and sometimes they would laugh at me, too. You know what the worst feeling in the world is, Blair?"

Blair could tell that despite the words, Rafe wasn't really talking to him anymore. So he stayed quiet. "It's knowing that everyone around you hates you for what you are. That they pity you, but they also despise you because you represent what they could turn into if they miss a couple of paychecks. It's working two jobs after school as soon as you're old enough, knowing every minute of work that even making money won't make those looks go away because there were always bills to pay and food to buy and brothers and sisters to worry about. And it's so fucking lonely and pathetic and you just know that if you could change that one thing, that tiny, unimportant detail, it would all go away. If you just didn't look like gutter trash then they would treat you like a human being. It didn't matter if you went home to a shanty or even a cardboard box. It didn't matter if you were starving."

Rafe shook his head bitterly. "So once I was old enough, and we came to this country, I made a vow to myself that I wouldn't get those looks ever again. That I would live in a cardboard box and starve if it meant I could dress and look like a human being."

There was a pause. Blair caught himself staring, slack-jawed, at the detective, and he shut his mouth as he glanced out the window. Rafe chuckled suddenly. "You know, it would be worth the price of the plane ticket now to go back and visit that village, just to walk down the street wearing Armani.”

“And show off your riches to the people living there now? But that would make you no better than the people who laughed at you when you were a kid," Blair replied softly.

Rafe looked over at him sharply. "No. No, Blair. You just don't understand."

Blair opened his mouth to argue -- sure he understood. He knew what it was like to grow up different. Everywhere Naomi took him, everywhere they settled long enough for him to go to school and make friends, he was always the different one. But one look at the shielded pain in Rafe's eyes -- the lonely, poor child he had hidden so well until that moment -- made him think twice. Sure, he had been different. He'd been teased some, laughed at. But he also had friends from those times. There were places where being the new kid was a good thing, where he was more popular because of his eccentricities. So, no, maybe he didn't know.

"You're right," he said finally. "I don't. I'm sorry.”

“No, I should be the one apologizing." Rafe shook his head, a hand coming up and rubbing the back of his neck tiredly.

"No, Rafe. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry for making fun of you for wearing expensive suits all the time, instead of dressing like everyone else. I'm sorry I didn't get it."

Rafe glanced at him, surprised. "You didn't get it because I didn't tell you.”

“That's no excuse. I do know what it feels like to be singled out 'cause of appearance." Blair looked down at himself with a shrug. "I should know better than that."

Rafe shook his head. "Don't think that. Being teased by friends is so much different than being laughed at by...it's not the same thing, Blair. I don't see it the same at all."

Blair smiled slightly. "Good. But I'm gonna do better from now on, Rafe. And I AM your friend. You know that, right?"

Rafe nodded silently. There was another pause. The car below them was still dark and silent, and there was nothing moving on the road in front or behind it.

"How long are they supposed to wait here, anyway?"

Rafe shrugged. "Knowing Henri, they won't be here much longer. He hates waiting, especially when it's likely the perps aren't even going to show."

Blair turned a small smile to him. "You and H are pretty tight."

"Yeah. So?" He shook his head.

"I'm just remembering what you two were like when you were first partnered up."

Rafe laughed slightly. "You know, I think about that a lot myself."

It was an understatement to say that the two men had disliked each other. For different reasons, the moment they'd set eyes on each other, they were like oil and vinegar. It had taken a lot of time and a lot of hurt for them to be where they were now, but it had been worth it because now they were the close and Rafe needed that. He loved the guy more than he'd loved his own brothers.

"I wish I'd been here when you and Jim first hooked up."

Blair laughed. "No, you don't. Though it really wasn't that bad. Took a while for me to get used to his personality-"

"And vice-versa," Rafe threw in.

Blair nodded his agreement. "But now...." He shook his head, unable to express exactly what he and Jim were now. And knowing he probably didn't have to use words -- Rafe already knew.

As if in answer, the detective looked down at the car with a sigh. "So why did Simon decide to split up the best two teams in Cascade and send Henri and Jim to do this?"

Blair shrugged. "You know Simon, I wouldn't be surprised if there was some deeper purpose. He probably knew we'd come out here. Maybe this is supposed to be a trust-building exercise or something, just in case we ever have to work together. You know, I'll bet there aren't even any snitches coming tonight. I'll bet Simon set this whole thing up so Jim and H could work together for a night. Sit and have nothing to do but talk, just like us."

"Sneaky, but you're right, I wouldn't put it past him. Although, if you ask me, it should be the other way around. I should be up there with Jim."

Rafe grimaced slightly. Blair's eyebrows furrowed. "Whaddaya mean? You and Jim don't get along?" Rafe shrugged. "No, come on. What did you mean by that?"

Rafe opened his mouth and then silently closed it again. He didn’t mean to open up this can of worms, not with Sandburg. He knew that he wouldn’t get out of explaining, so he readied himself for his explanation.

“He always makes it look so easy and the rest of us look like stupid slobs,” Rafe said.

“What? Where do you get this from?”

”It’s common knowledge that if someone can’t handle a case, it’s always sent to you two. Ellison picks up a clue and has the case wrapped by nightfall. Then everybody looks to us like we failed.”

“Nobody does that! Jim just has a unique approach to things. He doesn’t think he’s better than anybody. In fact, he highly respects you and Henri,” Blair confessed.

“Yeah, but we’re not the media darlings now are we? Every single night Ellison’s face is plastered all over the 11 o’clock news and the rest of us are just minions. Cascade runs itself on Jim alone,” Rafe retorted, letting his frustration show.

“Come on, Rafe, you know that’s not true. Jim just happens to be the one that gets the attention, I mean reporters have a field day pulling up the old Ranger protection angle on him. He hates it more than you despise him for it. He’s not in it for the attention and you shouldn’t be either.”

Rafe looked hurt. “I’m not in it for the publicity, but I’m just saying it wouldn’t hurt once in a while.”

“Believe me, Jim knows how hard you work and holds you up to the highest regard. If he could, he would parade everyone of you in front of the camera,” Blair explained.

Rafe seemed minorly convinced, but he still was in a bad mood. “I know, I know, but it still hurts.”

“You think I don’t know that? I have to prove myself everyday and no one respects me or gives me any attention,” Blair cracked.

“Right, you are half of the best team in Cascade and you’re telling me you have REGRETS?”

“I’m just the tag-along. Jim is the cop, Jim is the one who gets the attention, Jim is the one who rushes headlong into the situation. I’m stuck in the shadows doing police work with no recognition whatsoever.”

“Sandburg, you are a cop if I ever saw one. Jim may be the one up front, but you have more skills than any rookie coming out of the Academy,” Rafe assured him.

“So I’m good…and you’re good. It doesn’t matter if no one else knows it, just so that we are sure of it ourselves.”

Rafe fell right into that one. “Sandburg, you are sneaky.”

“Didn’t get a Psychology minor for nothing,” Blair smiled.

“You’re a good one to have around. I think we just might keep you,” Rafe smiled.

“Anytime, Rafe, anytime.”