'I want jew too cill thise explooshive esspert'

That quote above is from Rod Steiger when he played some Cuban mob guy in 'The Specialist'. Just makes you wanna change the way you talk just looking at it doesn't it. Controlled Anarchy are about to run a morotorium on all actors who have done the deed of bad accents. Hey, if it's good enough for Minnie Driver to drop in and out of her true British accent when playing an American moon pie, then it's alright for Bruce Willis to even talk. And we haven't even gotten into miscasting yet. We'll leave that for later (or until we get death threats from the lack of email we are getting).

Bad Accents
Bad guy gives away world domination plot
Total miscasting
Film works on odd couple philosophy
Extreme misuse of obsencities
Mythical beings lose powers at choice moments
Any film wasting an ensemble cast
Any bad guy with Euro accent

"Bad Accents"

Worth:

"Any bad guy with Euro accent"

Worth:

Reason for deduction:See above

"Bad guy gives away world domination plot"

Worth:

Reason for deduction:

"Now that I have you, you will never stop me!"
"Please, before you kill me, tell me, what are your plans?"
"Plans?  Well, I am…"

Are there any other stupid things going on in the world? Are villains so goddamn stupid that they have to give away their plot to take over the world, so they can become all bloodied and lifeless by the end credits?

In reality of course, this would be a shootable offence, where the hero would be kissing the dust before they could stop the evil villain. But, Hollywood loves to make heroes look smarter than they really are. Take John Rambo, John McLaine and anything Arnie plays. These guys could count to ten, but they could beat up villains who have somehow outsmarted them twenty thousand times, but the hero somehow works comes across the villain. If you can work it out, we'd gladly take your advice on when he become villains.

"Total miscasting"

Worth:

Reason for deduction: Ever wondered why actors look uncomfortable when they are playing characters in a movie. This is called miscasting. It's very easy to be miscast. Just look at Nicole Kidman trying to perform brain surgery in Days of Thunder. If she was our surgeon, we reckon we'd be better off getting Dr Nick Riveria off The Simpsons to do it (at least he's had medical training). And you wonder why people get typecast in movies and complain about it. The minute they go against type, they find out very harshly that there is a good reason for typecasting. So, the next time Brad Pitt looks like he's constipated when he's speaking, remind yourself, he's been miscast.

"Film works on odd couple philosophy"

Worth:

Reason for deduction: Hollywood loves the buddy buddy movie. Even more so they like it when the two involved are an odd couple, so that these characters can finally get together for the eventual gang bang they'll have in the end (what is going on here? Someone is just a little overzealous about this category). Essentials for an odd couple:

Yeah, just the essentials.

"Extreme misuse of obsencities"

Worth:

Reason for deduction: Ever felt the urge to swear every second word just because you have to. In some movies, the amount of obscenities used is so extreme, that you feel as though a script wasn't even written. But, if used correctly, it can enhance the appeal of the movie.

Example:

Reservoir Dogs has over a hundred, but uses them more intelligently, more as a punctuation of the situation at hand.

True Romance on the over hand uses it too often, to the extent that it seems as though the script was made up as it went along.

Good Will Hunting overuses the obscenities at some points and you know this because half of the dialogue in some of the early scenes is littered by it.

Smoke cleverly uses swear words at various points, and ups them when scenes of absurd domestics hits the screen, but never overdoes it in any other places.

Of course, this is a very subjective point, but at Anarchy, we see that any more than forty 'fucks' in a movie to be excessive. And when this isn't the case, and the movie just seems to overdo it, deduct away as well.

"Mythical beings lose powers at choice moments"

Worth:

Reason for deduction:

"Oh my god, this thing has got us surrounded."
"What are we going to do?  It can breath fire, rip our heads off, use a 
laser beam, smash down tall buildings, take over multinational corporations and breed 
a mega race of beings."
"What's it doing?  Oh my God!"
"It's licking you.  Uuuuh"

Do you ever get that feeling that Hollywood has it against the mythical creature. Especially the best of the lot like Godzilla, King Kong and Cheech and Chong. Mythical beings are supposed to have these special powers, but when the heroes seem to be in trouble, the being just sits there wondering if he should call his agent and ask for a pay rise because he's doing another shit movie. Is it about time these being took revenge on the Hollywood scriptwriters. Let them be the ones the monster. We bet you that not one Hollywood screenwriter could write themselves out of a monster's mouth.

"Any film wasting an ensemble cast"

Worth:

Reason for deduction: Ever heard the saying too many good actors spoil the movie. Ensemble casts have never been a great idea, although in principal it should be the best movie to see. But, as you know, ensemble casts seem to get tangled up in movies that have more sub-plots than a British Government official's sex scandal. By the time the movie is over, you wanna start kicking the shit outta something because you favourite actor was the one who got the underwritten role, or the part where they just fade into the background as an actor with a better agent is gobbling up the screen.

So, maybe it is about time people like Woody Allen and Robert Altman woke up one morning and said, shit, why is my film so crap, when it is bleeding obvious.

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