Miles and Corky are talking about a date to the movie from the night before. Miles asks
her out for ice cream and says he knows her favorite flavor. After three guesses and a hint
from Jim, Miles guesses right -- butter pecan. Miller enters and tells Miles that "The Next
Wave" is canceled. Miles already knew this... Miller, shocked that Miles is not
devastated...
Miller: Great! I was just carrying on for your
benefit. I get paid whether my butt's behind an anchor desk in D.C. or on a beach chair in
Cabo. (Pause) Hey, Corky. Miles: You should try the Caymans. That's where Corky and I got married.
Miller: Been there, done that, bought the soundtrack. Anyway, I'm
looking to... I'm sorry, rewind. You and Corky are married?
Corky and Miles explain this to Miller and Murphy and Frank enter... She is telling Frank
about how she knocked over a floor-to-ceiling pyramid of Newt Gingrich books. Stan
Lansing and Andrew J Lansing, III enter. Stan announces that Andrew is the new Vice
President of Current Affairs, their boss. Mr. Lansing leaves and Andrew comments that it
must be awkward for all of them...
Andrew: When I worked here as
Ms. Brown's secretary you all hated me. Frank even thought I tried to kill
him. Frank: Me? No. I'm just paranoid that way. I think everyone's
trying to kill me. You, Jim, the dry cleaner, Paul Shaffer. Oh yeah, I really should be on
medication.
Andrew tells them that he can't hold the grudges that he used to have, it wouldn't be
healthy. For anyone. Andrew tells Murphy that there is a surprise waiting in her office.
Murphy: Maria Shriver's not bound and gagged in there or
anything, is she? Andrew: Would you like her to
be? Murphy: No! Andrew: Just
checking.
Murphy goes into her office and reports that a new computer and printer are in there.
Soon a big bouquet of flowers arrive. Frank, hoping to cash in on some of this
"generosity," asks Andrew if he wants to do lunch. Andrew just brushes him off.
A few days later... A delivery man is delivering more gifts to Murphy from
Andrew. This has gone on for a few days now. She has an espresso machine, foot
massager, TV and VCR, and probably lots of other stuff. Murphy is so glad have a friend
upstairs.
Miles: Murphy, Andrew is not a friend. Andrew is... a
spawn. A spawn from the firey bowels of hell. Corky: It's true. Shave that
weird little head of his and I bet you'll find a "666" on it somewhere. Jim:
Oh, he's not the devil. but he's not of this earth, that much I'm sure
of. Murphy: You know what you all are? You’re cynics. Always seeing
the worst in people. Me? I’m an optimist. I look for the good in
everyone. Frank: You were just using that foot massager, weren’t
you? Murphy: Yes I was.
Andrew enters and asks to talk to Murphy. He has a favor to ask of
her.
Frank: Here it comes, payback time... Andrew:
You know, Frank, there’s a bureau job opening in one of those crazy Middle Eastern
countries. Interested?
Andrew tells Murphy that Stan wants her to host
another news show. He butters her up and tells her its long-form documentary-style and
that they were thinking of pairing her with Cronkite. He’s hooked her, Murphy says she’s
interested in doing this “Brown/Cronkite Report.”
A few days later, at Phil’s... Murphy makes small talk with Phil and Andrew
enters. He tells her that Cronkite backed out. After an “exhaustive search” for their
replacement, he thinks he found someone -- Miller
Redfield!
Andrew: Okay, I know it’s not exactly what we
discussed, but Uncle Stan really wants this to happen. Murphy: Well, then
he should call the show “60 Seconds,” because that’s how long it’ll take me to kill blondie
here.
Miller isn’t very enthusiastic either, he’d rather co-anchor with some other people.
Murphy gives him a dollar and he leaves. Murphy tells Andrew that she would never
consider doing a show with him. Andrew tells Murphy that Stan is senile. Andrew says he
will call Stan on vacation just to tell him the show idea is dead. He uses Phil’s phone,
saying its a local call, and calls Stan at the Honolulu Hilton. Andrew says that Stan said if
Murphy doesn’t do the show he’s fired. Frank enters, hoping to see Cronkite, and
hears of the change of plans. Frank sees that if Murphy and Miller do a show together
he’d probably leave, giving Murphy a newshour all to herself! Well, with this pointed out,
Murphy agrees to the show.
A few days later, walk through of the new show’s set... It’s not looking good. The
set has a sofa, Miller’s going to be doing a story about the “hot new comedies on CBS,”
and “Tough Trivia of Our Times:”
Murphy: (Reading off
the questions.) “Who won the 1980 election? Reagan. What scandal brought down
the Nixon Administration? Watergate. Who won World War II? We did.” Who wrote
these questions? Forrest Gump? Andrew: Well our audience won’t have
the answers right in front of them.
Murphy thinks the puff pieces won’t go well with her hard-hitting story and finds out more
bad news -- her story is being put off for a few episodes and being substituted with an
interview with Lynda “Wonder Woman” Carter. Miller enters, dressed in a Rhett Butler
costume. They’re using them for the promos. It just gets worse and worse. Murphy
complains about how different this is from what she signed on for and Andrew calls Uncle
Stan again. Murphy grabs the phone out of his hands and hears “At the tone, the time will
be 3:23 and 23 seconds.” Murphy changes him off the show’s set.
Stan Lansing is in a steambath, “taking a schvitz.” Andrew runs in on him, saying
Murphy’s gone crazy, “word on the street is she’s hitting the hooch again.” Murphy bursts
into the steamroom. Stan isn’t in Hawaii afterall! Lansing asks what’s going
on.
Murphy: I’ll tell you what’s going on. Your new VP
promised me a newshour with Walter Cronkite just to sucker me into doing and
infotainment show with Miller Redfield. God, it’s hot in here! And [Andrew’s] not even
sweating! What species are you? Stan: Andrew, is this
true? Andrew: Well, I do have very fine pores.
Stan says
he hates the show and Andrew says he just came up with the idea to show he can be a
good vice president. Lansing says to kill the idea of the show. Miller enters and Murphy
and he argue and Stan is inspired. He likes the banter and offers Murphy a serious news
show, but keeping Miller as the co-anchor. The butter Murphy up a little more and she
agrees.
Murphy: You know, Andrew, you can learn a little
something from your uncle. He’s a class act all the way. Lansing: Murphy,
please, you embarrass me. (Murphy leaves.) Lansing: Now,
that, my clumsy little nephew, is how you manipulate
someone. Andrew: You’re the wind beneath my wings, sir.
