Wee Small Hours
This is a tenth season episode. It is rated TV-PG. Kay, Frank, and Corky exit the elevator. Corky is crying.
Corky: It was such a beautiful service.
Kay: I know. I think all of Washington turned out for this one. They were actually spilling out onto Wisconsin Avenue.
Frank: You know, when Cronkite was giving the eulogy, I think I actually heard his voice crack.
Kay: If Murphy could see the tunout, it would have pleased her so much.
Murphy walks out of her office. She is casually dressed and has all of her short hair and its not a wig (keep in mind this is during the chemo). She asks what's wrong and why is everyone so sad. She was playing tennis with Newt Gingrich. Kay tells Murphy that they buried Jim Dial today. The voice starts to echo. Murphy wakes up yelling No! It is 11:05 PM. Murphy calls the hotel where Jim is living and asks the front desk to connect her to his room. Jim is there, with Doris, and she tells him to let it ring because the front desk will take a message. Jim is singing to Doris while they are dancing. They have room service, a fire in the fire place, the works.
At her house, Murphy pulls the blankets up on Avery's bed.
There are 3 SWAT team men and Frank standing on the stairs outside of a crack house.
First SWAT guy: I'd feel a lot more comfortable if we had more guys with us tonight.
Second SWAT guy: Budget cuts, thank you Mr. Mayor.
First SWAT: Ironic isn't it? The last crack house I busted, the mayor was there.
Frank's cell phone rings. It's Murphy. Murphy tells Frank about her dream. The SWAT guys make Frank get off the phone. Frank calls Kay and leaves a messge with her machine telling her to call Murphy.
Kay calls and wants Murphy to her Boris her macaw swear. They chat and Kay tells Murphy to bake.
Murphy: A little baking? Have we met?
Kay: Come on I've heard you sing, it can't be any worse than that.
Murphy: No one's ever had to get their stomach pumped because of my singing.
Kay wants Murphy to make cookies. Murphy gives in. Kay says she is going to help Murphy through the night.
Jim got Murphy's phone message and Doris lets him call her. Meanwhile, Kay and Murphy are still on the phone. Murphy's refrigerator is almost empty, she's out of the vanilla extract she is supposed to have to make chocolate chip cookies. Kay has a 'whistle-clean, well-organized, well-stocked refrigerator' and Murphy thinks that people with refrigerators like that are always a little bit insane. Kay agrees. Kay tells Murphy to get chocolate chips. Kay's are kept neatly in a jar, Murphy takes a bag of chocolate chip cookies (like you buy in a store), beats them on a counter and pours them into a bowl. That's Murphy's chocolate chip cookies. Murphy's other line is ringing and it's Jim. She talks to him for a little bit and Doris comes back and so he gets off the phone with Murphy.
Doris: I borrowed your robe. I hope that's alright.
Jim: Yes, very nice, but what am I going to wear?
Doris: Oh, you're right. (takes off robe and tosses it to Jim)
Jim: Oh, boy.
Back at Murphy's, Murphy is still on the phone with Kay. She says she doesn't need much sleep. Kay is giving Murphy cooking instructions throughout, such as preheating the oven.
Kay: Measure the ingredients exactally. Do you have your measuring cups and spoons?
Murphy: Yeah, yeah I have them right here (Motions toward the air.)
Every ingredient Kay tells Murphy to add, Murphy uses rough estimates. Murphy comments that making cookie dough is easy.
Kay: Very few women give birth before they bake a batch of cookies.
Murphy: Not me. I traded in my Easy-Bake oven for a Smith-Corona typewriter and I never looked back. I gave my little oven to the boy next door and he made an entire Thanksgiving dinner that my father still talks about, which is why I don't bake, so thanks for bringing that up.
The line beeps and Murphy checks her call waiting and it's Corky. Corky is crying a little and asks if Murphy's alright.
Murphy: Yeah, I'm okay, Corky. I'm making chocolate chip cookies!
Corky: Don't move, Murphy, I'll be there in 20 minutes.
A car drives by and startles Corky, who explains that she's in the garage of her condo looking for her ABBA album in her storage locker.
Corky: I didn't give it to you, did I?
Murphy: ABBA? Not a chance.
Murphy asks if Corky's been crying. She has because she's found some of Miles' things. Like his blue blazer and a yarmulke from the Feldmann's wedding. She is wearing her bridal veil becuase she found it also. Corky is terrified that no one is ever going to love her again. Murphy tries to comfort Corky and then puts Corky on a three-way call with Kay too becuase Corky has a very important question to ask Kay.
Corky: Hi Kay, do you have my ABBA album?
Kay: Yes I do.... You don't want it back, do you? I got creative one night and I made it into an ashtray. Even as an ashtray they suck.
They all talk. Corky is not sure if she should throw out Miles' things. Kay thinks she should. Meanwhile, back to cookie making, Murphy is ready to mix her dough.
Kay: Alright, take your Mixmaster....
Murphy: I don't have a Mixmaster.
Kay: Then use your hand mixer.
Murphy: My what?
Corky: Kay are you forgeting who you're talking to? Murphy, go scrape the crud off the fork that's in your sink and use that.
Murphy: Oh thanks, Corky.
Corky wants to call Miles. Kay and Murphy both scream No! at the idea. Corky is afraid that she won't meet anybody else.
Murphy: Corky, the right person is there for you. He might not be down in the garage of your condo at 12:45 in the morning, but he is out there.
A man comes by carrying boxes. He introduces himself to Corky. He just moved into a condo there and is named Hank. He is wearing a tux. Corky gets off the phone. Hank jokes that it looks like they just fell off a wedding cake. He came from the opera. Corky finds out that Hank just broke up with his "significant other." They talk about what they miss and have things in common. But when Corky hears that his ex (named Toni) can throw a great spiral in football and a few other things, she assumes that Toni was a man and that Hank is gay. So she calls Murphy back saying that she just made a fool of herself. Hank realizes her confusion and explains that Toni is a woman. Corky gets off the phone again.
Frank saves another SWAT guy by pinning one of the people they're trying to bust against a wall. (In the closed caps it says a shot was fired, but I did not hear it.)
There is a shot of eight different people (in six panels) and what they are doing. Kay is in the kitchen, Frank is on the stakeout, Murphy is in her kitchen, Corky is talking to Hank, Avery is asleep, and Jim and Doris are eating ice cream in bed.
Kay and Murphy are still on the phone, they are putting their cookies onto the cookie sheet. Murphy is throwing hers on the sheet, Kay's are perfect. Kay confides that she wants to be "part of the group" but sometimes it seems hard. Murphy says that they try to let her fit in, but sometimes Kay is so different...
Jim and Doris want to talk and work things out.
Jim: I don't want to lose you.
Doris: You haven't yet. (They kiss)
Kay and Murphy are talking still....
Kay: You know, I used to get nightmares.
Murphy: You did?
Kay: Oh, and how! Big, bold, cinemascope, technicolor nightmares. Flood, fires, buildings toppling onto people. Siskel and Ebert used to give them two thumbs up. But you know, Murphy, they went away.
Murphy: Why?
Kay: I stopped eating Thai food. And watching Psycho before going to bed.
They both laugh.
Murphy: You know, I've never had nightmares before. I guess I've never been afraid of anything before. Til I got sick. This is the first time in my life I'm dealing with something I can't threaten or intimidate.... Or chase down Pennsylvania Avenue with a snowblower.
Kay: I heard about that one.
Murphy: Its bad enough this thing follows me while I'm awake. Now its invading my sleep.
The cookies are almost done.
Murphy: So, Kay...
Kay: What Murphy?
Murphy: What's the real reason you only sleep three hours a night?
Kay: I guess, truth be known, I'm afraid of wasting more time. Did you know that I've had 26 different jobs in the last 30 years? That's 26 dead ends. And now here I am, 51 years old and I feel like I'm finally beginning my career.
Murphy: But you know with all these miracle drugs and anti-oxidents, you'll live to be 120, so if you think about it that way, you're right on track.
The cookies are done. Kay tells Murphy not to eat them right away, but to wait for them to cool. But Murphy already bit into one. Its too hot. On her call waiting, Frank is on the line. Kay tells her to take the call.
Frank tells Murphy how he saved someone's life.
Frank: So what are you doing up, Murph?
Murphy: Frank, I, Murphy Brown, have made cookies from scratch.
Frank: You're not going to bring them into work, are you? Of course it would create an opprotunity for me to save more lives.
Frank tells Murphy how terrified he was when he saved the man's life. Murphy tells him its healthy to be scared. Or at least she hopes so.
Avery comes downstairs. He saw she wasn't upstairs and got scared.
Murphy: Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I was down here baking cookies.
Avery: Where's my real mom?
(Avery tries a cookie.)
Avery: Mmm these are good. How 'bout you make us a cake?
Murphy: Okay.
Avery: And a pie.
Murphy: Now you're pushing it.
Avery goes back upstairs. Murphy calls Kay to thank her and invites her to dinner around midnight when they can talk. A while later, Murphy and Avery are asleep with a plate of cookies on the bed.
THE END!
One question: Was anyone else yelling Yes call Miles! when Corky said "maybe I should call Miles" and Kay and Murphy yelled NO! I know I wanted her to call him. I really miss Grant. He added so much. That's not saying that Lily did a great job as Kay... She did.
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