For those who have Steve Burton's 1998 calendar, you know what the
"May-do" refers to. Just look at the pic for the month of May in that
calendar, and check out the hair. Those who don't have the calendar, the
"May-do" refers to Steve's reeeaaaallllly long Jason Quartermaine hair.
*********************
(Scene 1-the setting: the Jaxcave. Jaxman is sitting alone, feeling mad)
Jaxman: "I must find the murderer of my precious Brender, I must dammit!
I said 'nobody leaves' and that means 'nobody leaves' dammit! The person
who killed Brender made a liar out of her and I won't stand for it! I
will find the killer!"
(There is a knock on the door. Jaxman answers. It's Jerry)
Jerry: "Hello little brotha! Can I come in?" (Jerry smirks)
Jaxman: "Of course dammit!"
Jerry: "What are you up to?" (Jerry smiles)
Jaxman: "I have a new case to solve, and I need your help!"
Jerry: "What about Robin?" (Jerry smirks)
Jaxman: "No, Row-bin cannot help me. She does not believe in the case
dammit!"
Jerry: "Well, what is it? I'd be happy to help you if I can..." (Jerry
smiles)
Jaxman: "I want to find the person who killed my precious Brender! I
know it was Morgan dammit!"
Jerry: "Uh, Jax? Um...we saw Brenda's car go over the cliff. Jason was
still in Port Charles when it happened, rememba? Brenda's mom killed
her...Is any of this ringing a bell?"
Jaxman: "I think that Morgan paid Brender's mom to come here and kill
her!"
Jerry: "Isn't that a little crazy, even for you?"
Jaxman: "No way dammit! I am going to the penthouse to make Morgan
confess to the crime! I will make him pay dammit!"
Jerry: "Ok Jax, suit yourself..."
(Jaxman grabs his coat and rushes out of the Jaxcave. Jerry stands with
a worried look on his face and the scene ends)
**************************
(Scene 2-the setting: the penthouse. Sonny, Robin and Jason are sitting
in the living room when there's a knock on the door)
Renaldo: "Jason, you have a visitor..."
Jason: "Who?"
Jaxman (pushes his way through the door): "Let me in dammit!"
Sonny: "Oh geez. What do you want now?"
Jaxman: "This has nothing to do with you Corinthos! I want to talk to
Morgan dammit!"
Jason: "What."
Jaxman: "You killed my precious Brender, and I want you to admit to it
dammit!"
Robin: "Jaxman, you told me and Jason what happened that night, you said
Brenda's mother killed her..."
Jaxman: "Well, I think that Morgan paid Brender's mother to come here
and kill her!"
Sonny: "Are you nuts?"
Jaxman: "No dammit! I want to question Morgan."
Robin: "Fine, Jason has nothing to hide...right Jason?"
Jason (looks to Sonny, who nods his head for Jason to answer): "Right."
(Sonny and Robin are standing on either side of Jason as Jaxman starts
questioning him)
Jaxman: "Where were you the night of Brender's death?"
(Jason looks to Sonny, then to Robin. Both nod their heads up and down,
signaling for Jason to answer)
Jason: "I was with Robin."
Jaxman: "Dammit! An alibi....ok then, where were your men?"
(Jason again looks to Robin, then Sonny. Both nod)
Jason: "There weren't any men. I gave up the business dumb a$$!"
Jaxman: "Dammit! Dammit!! I must make you confess!"
Sonny: "No, what you must do is get your a$$ out of here!"
Jaxman: "You want to make me?"
Sonny: "Are you serious?"
Jaxman: "I am always serious dammit!"
Sonny: "Well, I'd give you a wedgie, but I can't..."
Jason: "Why, why not Sonny?"
Sonny: "He has a picture of Brenda on his speedos. I can't destroy
those..."
Jason: "Why, why not?"
(Sonny and Robin shake their heads)
Robin: "Forget it..."
Sonny: "So instead, I'll have Renaldo throw you out!"
Jaxman: "Fine dammit! I am leaving. But this is not over!"
(Jaxman grabs his coat and rushes out of the penthouse, and the scene
ends)
**************************
(Scene 3-the setting: the park. Robin, Jason and Sonny are walking when
it starts to sprinkle)
Robin: "It's starting to rain.."
Jason: "How, how can you tell?"
(Sonny gives Jason a strange look)
Robin: "Uh, well I can feel the water drops."
Jason: "Oh...so that's what that feeling is."
Sonny: "Yeah, it is..." (Sonny shakes his head)
(The three continue to walk along, as it rains a little harder. Robin
notices something strange)
Robin: "Jason?"
Jason: "Yeah?"
Robin: "Your hair..."
Jason: "What about it?"
Sonny (looks over, and notices the same thing): "It's growing.
Fast..."
Jason (excited): "Really?? Narley!"
Robin (surprised): "Narley? What???"
Jason (confused): "What?"
Sonny: "You just said 'narley' buddy..."
Jason: "What, what does that mean?"
Robin: "Beats me..."
Jason: "Robin, that was not proper grammar..."
Robin (shocked): "Excuse me?"
Sonny (looks at Jason strangely): "What the h&ll is going on buddy?"
Jason: "I don't, I don't know. Let's go home, now. This is freaking me
out!"
(Robin, Sonny and Jason rush home, and the scene ends)
*************************
(Scene 4-the setting: the penthouse. Robin, Jason and Sonny are still
talking, as Jason's hair continues to grow)
Robin: "I can't believe how fast your hair is growing..."
Jason: "Huh?"
Sonny: "Your hair, it's still growing..."
Jason: "Well of course it is! The hair is the one thing that grows on a
constant basis. You see, the process stems from the hair
follicle..."
(Robin and Sonny stare at each other, not sure what to make of Jason's
comments)
Jason: "What...what's wrong?"
Sonny: "What the h&ll did you just say?"
Jason: "You mean 'what's wrong'?"
Robin: "I think he means the stuff about hair follicles. What was that
about?"
Jason: "I don't, I don't know....What is happening to me?"
Sonny: "Just stay calm buddy, ok?"
Jason (confused): "Buddy? I'm not your buddy. I don't even like you Sonny. You're in the
mob, you kill
people." (Jason looks around, confused) "Why am I at your house?"
Robin: "Oh my God Sonny!"
Sonny: "Robin, what the h&ll is happening?"
Robin: "I think he's turning back into Jason Quartermaine!"
Sonny: "Is that possible?"
Robin: "Well, look at his hair!"
Sonny: "I think you're right Robin! We have to stop this!"
Robin: "You talk to him about the business. Get him remembering Jason
Morgan. I'll call Jaxman!"
(Sonny starts quizzing Jason on Moreno and the mob. The scene ends)
**************************
(Scene 5-the setting: the penthouse. Robin is calling Jaxman)
Jaxman: "Hello?"
Robin: "Jaxman, it's me, Robin. I need your help! I'm at the penthouse.
Can you get over here quickly?"
Jaxman: "Of course I can Row-bin! I am Jaxman dammit! Doer of good and
conqueror of
evil. Corporate raider by day, superhero by night!"
Robin: "Whatever. Just get here soon! It's an emergency!"
(Robin hangs up the phone and turns to Sonny, concerned)
Robin: "How's he doing?"
Sonny: "I'm getting worried sweetie. He keeps calling Carlos a totally
bitchin' dude..."
Jason: "As the corpus callosum is severed, the patient loses his ability
to link his right brain thinking to his left brain thinking..."
Robin: "He's going back to his medical jargon! Do something Sonny!
Please!"
Sonny (thinking): "Um...ok. All the doctors in the world are dead. I had
them
killed. You'll be next."
(Jason looks at Sonny with fear)
Robin (gives Sonny a strange look): "I don't think that's going to work
Sonny..."
(Just then, Jaxman enters the penthouse)
Jaxman: "I am here dammit! Now what is this ee-mer-gen-cee?"
Robin: "It's Jason! He's turning back into Jason Quartermaine! His hair
is growing out of control and we can't stop it!"
Jason (looks to Jaxman): "Whoa! Who's this dude? Totally rockin' speedos
man!" (He turns to Robin and Sonny) "This guy's cool!"
Jaxman (smiling): "What is wrong with him? I like this Jason
dammit!"
Jason (to Jaxman): "What do you say we go catch a wave after? Surf's
up!"
Jaxman: "That would be cool dammit!"
Jason: "Has anyone seen my soccer ball?" (Everyone looks at him blankly)
"What about my varsity jacket?"
Sonny: "Sorry..."
Jason: "Where is my family? Hey! Where's Keesha?"
Robin (getting worried): "Please help us God! Send us a sign!"
(Just then, Robin notices Jaxman holding a pair of scissors)
Robin: "Jaxman, what are those for?"
Jaxman: "Oh, these are the scissors that Brender used to cut all the
faces out of her pictures....I carry them with me at all times so I can
remember her..."
(Jaxman sighs, as Robin grabs the scissors out of his hand)
Robin: "Give me those dammit!"
Jaxman: "No Row-bin! Those are from my precious Brender! Nobody
leaves!!!"
Robin: "And nobody cares!" (She looks to Sonny) "Hold him down, I'm
going to cut his hair."
Sonny: "I hope this works sweetie..."
Robin (takes a deep breath): "Me too..."
Jason: "No, please don't cut my beautiful bleached blond locks! Without
them I won't be able to pick up chicks when I become a brilliant doctor.
Of course I won't pick up chicks anyway, since I'm a non-sexual
geek....Please don't!!!"
***Will Sonny and Robin succeed in bringing Jason Morgan back from the
brink? Or will Jaxman finally find a new friend who understands him in
Jason Quartermaine? Tune in for the next episode and find out!
1997-1999 The Jaxcave
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