(Scene 1- the setting: The Jaxcave. Jaxman & Robin are in the living room, enjoying a lively discussion)
Jaxman: "I am telling you dammit! The word is meese!"
Robin (shaking her head): "I don't think so Jaxman..."
Jaxman: "I say it is so, so therefore, it is so. The word is meese!"
Robin: "I don't want to argue with you, but I'm pretty sure it's just moose."
Jaxman: "No way dammit! Goose is geese, so moose must be meese!"
Robin (walks to the bookshelf): "Why don't we just look it up? I don't think you've ever used this dictionary you got from Stefan." (She takes it off the shelf, blowing off dust)
Jaxman: "I do not need to use that dammit! I am Jaxman!"
Robin: "Whatever." (She opens the book) "This will only take a second..." (She scans through) "A ha! Here it is. Moose."
Jaxman (going to look): "No way dammit!"
Robin: "It's right here." (She points to the word) "Why are we discussing this, anyway?"
Jaxman: "I am calling Lady Jane today. I wanted to remind her to hunt some moose for my visit, so I can have some moose burgers. Those are O-some dammit! Anyway, I did not know if they were called moose, meese, mooses ... I am so confused dammit! I miss my precious Brender!"
(The doorbell rings, and Robin is thankful for the distraction. She runs to the door to open it. She is surprised to see Juan there)
Robin: "Juan! Come in ..." (She steps aside) "I'm surprised to see you here."
Juan: "Well, I came over to dee-scuss something with Jaxman."
Jaxman: "Here I am dammit! What are you doing here? You are friends with Corinthos! You cannot give me a wedgie dammit!"
Juan: "I don't want to do that. Sonny won't say he's my father, so I'm not his friend anymore. So, I made a dee-sicion. Will you be my father?"
Jaxman: "No way dammit!"
Juan: "Plee-se?"
Jaxman: "Wait a minute dammit! I am noticing something about the way you are ree-sponding to m-ee."
Juan: "I have a lot of ree-spect for you Mr. Jaxman. Plee-se say you'll ree-consider my ree-quest."
Jaxman: "Well, I really like the way you sp-ee-k dammit! Okay, why not? Yay dammit!"
Juan: "Thanks Jaxman. You will not ree-gret this."
Robin: "So Juan, how's Emily?"
Juan (looks at Robin confused): "Who?"
Robin: "You know, Emily?" (He continues to look confused, as Robin looks at him strangely) "She's your girlfriend, remember?"
Juan (smiles): "My girlfriend! Oh yeah, she's good."
(Robin shakes her head, as the Jaxphone rings. Jaxman retrieves his phone from his speedos, as Juan looks on, amazed)
Jaxman: "Hello? Dammit! This cannot be! Okay, I will b-ee right there dammit!" (Jaxman hangs up the phone and looks to Robin) "Oh Row-bin! I am getting dee-pressed."
Robin: "What happened?"
Jaxman: "Chlo-ee was run over by a car dammit! She is at the hospital now."
Robin: "We should go see her, and try to find out what happened."
Jaxman: "Right dammit! I told Ned we would take the case!"
Juan: "Can I come?"
Robin (looks at him): "I'm not quite sure if you're ready for this..."
Jaxman: "Of course he is dammit! He is my son! And he is O-some!"
(Robin shakes her head as Juan smiles widely. Jaxman grabs his coat and rushes out of the Jaxcave, as Juan follows eagerly. Robin slowly exits the room, rubbing her face as she does)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Scene 2 - the setting: GH. Jaxman, Robin and Juan have just arrived. Jaxman is wearing his baby blue speedos, Robin is wearing her blue halter top and leather pants, and Juan is wearing a yellow and black striped suit)
Jaxman (yelling): "Hello? We are here to see Chlo-ee Morgan dammit! Where is she?"
Alan (walking toward them): "Um, if you'd just wait a minute instead of yelling, someone will be by to help you." (He looks over and smiles) "Hi Robin." (He notices Juan) "What are you doing here?"
Juan: "I have dee-cided that Jaxman is my father."
Alan (looks at him strangely): "Okay, whatever you want." (He looks around and sees Tony) "There's doctor Jones, he's on Chloe's case. You might want to ask him for information."
Jaxman: "Doctor Jones is on Chlo-ee's case? This is not acceptable dammit! That guy is craz-ee!"
Robin: "No he's not, he's just misunderstood..."
Jaxman: "No way Row-bin! I say he is craz-ee, so he is! I am Jaxman dammit!"
Juan (excitedly): "You tell her, father!"
Robin (shakes her head): "Why do I even bother?"
Jaxman (flags down Tony): "Hey dammit! We are here to see Chlo-ee! What is the matter dammit?"
Tony: "Well, she seems to have some cerebral swelling, and some bleeding we are trying to control. We are cautiously optimistic, but we won't know anything for sure until she wakes up."
Jaxman: "What does that mean, dammit? See, I told you Row-bin! He is craz-ee! He is talking nonsense dammit!"
(Tony looks at Robin curiously)
Robin (sarcastically): "Don't mind him, his speedos are just a little too tight this afternoon."
Juan (offended): "Hey! I think you just dee-sparaged my father!"
Jaxman: "Yes you did dammit!" (Jaxman starts to cry) "I need my tissues..."
(Robin rolls her eyes and is grateful to see Ned and Alexis coming over)
Robin: "Hi Ned, Alexis ... how's Chloe?"
Ned: "She's still unconscious. We'll know more when she wakes up."
Jaxman: "Where are Morgan and Corinthos? I know they are ree-sponsible for this dammit!"
Robin (looks at him, slightly annoyed): "Okay, I'll bite. Why are they suspects this time?"
Jaxman: "That is ee-zee. Morgan was mad bee-cause Chlo-ee was using his last name. So, he dee-cided to get rid of her."
Juan: "That is great dee-tective work, father."
Jaxman (smiling proudly): "Thanks dammit!"
Robin: "Please tell me you're joking."
Jaxman: "No way dammit! Morgan and Corinthos are criminals. They are ree-sponsible dammit!"
Juan: "What do w-ee do now, father?"
Jaxman: "We sit by Chlo-ee's bed, until she wakes up. Then she will tell us that I am right dammit!"
(Jaxman and Juan exit the scene, and are headed to Chloe's room. Robin, Ned and Alexis stay behind)
Robin: "Okay, now that he's gone ... any leads?"
Alexis: "We have some ideas. Maybe Helena. Chloe was wearing my coat, maybe I was the target." (She looks to Ned) "Thank God for our little getaway." (She smiles suggestively, and he smiles back)
Ned: "Yeah, there's nothing better than ... little getaways ... (they look at each other, then at Robin) "You still need us here?"
Robin: "No, go ahead."
Alexis: "Thank you!" (Ned and Alexis run for the elevator, silly grins on their faces. Robin shakes her head, and walks toward the elevators, ready to find some clues. The scene ends)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Scene 3 - the setting: GH. It has been one week since the accident and Jaxman has not left Chloe's bedside. Robin enters Chloe's room)
Robin: "You know Jaxman, you can take a break. You need a rest..."
Jaxman: "No way dammit! I must be here when Chlo-ee wakes up, so she can tell mee that Corinthos and Morgan are ree-sponsible for her accident dammit!"
Robin: "Well, I will stay with her. You need to go take a shower, or at the very least change those speedos. They're looking a little crusty..."
Jaxman: "Baby blue is mine and Chlo-ee's favorite color. I will not change them dammit! But, you are right. I need to take a little break. But, I will only do so if you make Chlo-ee tell you that my thee-ory about her accident is true."
Robin (rolls her eyes): "Whatever. Just do something with yourself, please. Chloe's flowers are starting to die."
(Jaxman exits the room and is met by Juan. He is still wearing his black and yellow striped suit)
Juan: "Father, where are you going?"
Jaxman: "I am taking a break dammit! Row-bin said she would watch Chlo-ee for mee."
Juan: "You are letting Robin ree-leeve you?"
Jaxman: "Yes dammit!"
(Jaxman walks forward, as Sonny and Jason arrive at the hospital. They run into Jaxman)
Jaxman (angry): "Hey dammit!"
Sonny: "Sorry" (long pause) "Speedo boy."
Jaxman: "I will not let you near Chlo-ee dammit!"
Sonny: "Why would we, sniff, want, you know, to do ... that?"
Jaxman: "Bee-cause you already tried to kill her once, I will not let you try again!"
Sonny (rubs his face): "What are you talking about?"
(Just then, Juan walks up beside Jaxman)
Sonny: "What are you doing here? And what the hell are you wearing?"
Juan: "I am here with my new father. You didn't want me for your son, so I asked Jaxman if I could bee his son."
Sonny: "What are you, crazy?"
Juan: "No. I ree-spect Jaxman."
Sonny (shakes his head, then turns to Jason): "Hey, Jason..."
Jason: "Yes Sonny?"
Sonny (motions toward Juan, clearly amused): "You know what, what he ... looks like?"
Jason: "No Sonny."
Sonny: "He's a ... Juan-a-bee." (Sonny starts laughing) "Do you get it Jason? A Juan-a-bee?"
Jason: "Yes Sonny. That is very funny Sonny."
Jaxman: "You just dee-sparaged my son dammit! You better lee-ve bee-fore I call securit-ee. Stefan is my friend dammit!"
Sonny (shakes his head): "Our business ... here is, you know, concluded. Come on Jason, let's go."
Jason: "Whatever you say Sonny."
~~Kelly's~~
(Liz is behind the counter, counting the grains of salt on the table. She looks up to see Nikolas approaching)
Nik: "Hey. What are you up to?"
Liz: "Well, I'm not quite sure. I think I'm supposed to be working, but I don't think I've ever done that before. Maybe I should take a break."
Nik: "Sounds like a plan."
(Liz and Nik sit at a table, talking and laughing. A man walks by the window and stops to watch the two of them. After a few minutes, he takes a deep breath and walks away. The scene ends)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Scene 4 - the setting: GH. Emily is sitting on a couch waiting for Juan, as Juan walks toward her)
Juan: "Hey! It's my girlfriend!"
Emily (stands and smiles): "Hey boyfriend!" (She gives him a hug)
Juan: "Hey. I think your boyfriend wants more than that. Come on girlfriend..." (He smiles)
Emily: "Okay. What my boyfriend wants, my boyfriend gets." (She kisses him)
Juan: "That's better." (They sit on the couch) "So, what are you doing hee-re girlfriend?"
Emily: "I've been missing my boyfriend. He hasn't been around lately."
Juan: "Sor-ee. But my father needs mee."
Emily: "Is that why you're wearing that outfit?"
Juan (looks down at his clothes): "What's wrong with it?"
Emily: "Well, speaking as your girlfriend, and a hip-hop expert, if you want to have a singing career, you can't wear clothes like that."
Juan (smiles slightly): "And what makes you such an expert?"
Emily: "I taught Nikolas how to hip-hop dance. But, he seemed to forget the steps as soon as his face changed..."
(As Emily and Juan continue to talk, a man sees her and approaches the two, smiling widely)
Man: "Hey Em! How's it going?"
Emily (looks at him curiously): "Um, I'm doing okay..."
Man: "Long time no see!"
Emily (confused): "Yeah, it has been a while..." (The man looks to Juan, waiting for Emily to introduce the two) "Um, this is my boyfriend."
Man (Extends his hand to Juan): "Good to meet you, man."
Juan (uneasy): "Yeah, you too."
Man: "Have you seen Elizabeth around?"
Emily: "She was here, I don't know if she left yet."
Man: "Thanks. It's good to see you again."
(The man smiles, then leaves as Emily and Juan look at each other)
Juan: "Why didn't you introduce mee?"
Emily (worried): "Because I have no idea who that was..."
~~In another part of the hospital~~
(Nikolas and Liz are standing at the Nurses station, talking to Audrey)
Audrey: "Well, thank you for coming by to see me. If you didn't, I'd still be in the GH attic somewhere with Amy. And you know how irritating that can be."
Liz: "Well, we're glad we could help."
(Liz and Nik walk toward the elevator, waiting for the doors to open. As they do, Liz sees a man exit, who for some reason is familiar to her)
Man: "Elizabeth!" (He excitedly runs up and hugs her)
Liz (hesitant): "Hey. How's it going?"
Man (offended): "What? After all this time, all you can say is, 'how's it going'?"
Liz (trying to think of an excuse): "I'm sorry, it's just that...I'm surprised to see you, that's all."
Man: "I understand." (He turns to Nik): "Hey Cassadine. Just like me you've changed quite a bit over the last year. I wonder how that happens." (He extends his hand which Nik takes, curiously)
Nik: "Long time no see." (He looks to Liz to see if she knows who the man is, but she doesn't)
Man: "Well, I'm going to go find Bobbie. I know she'll be really excited to see me."
Liz (feigning excitement): "We'll see ya!"
Man (smiling widely): "You bet. I'm never leaving again."
(The man walks away, as Liz and Nik look at each other)
Liz: "Okay, who the hell was that?"
Nik (shaking his head): "I have no idea..."
(Nik and Liz look at each other with concern as the scene ends)
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