"One of the problems that I have with the bible is that I don't think any of it's true"
"Now if I said to you, 'Hey my friend called Barry came over and walked across my swimming pool', you'd just go 'Oh bullshit Fleety, you don't have a swimming pool'"
"He raised Lazarus from the dead and the miracle of the loaves and the fishes adn he walked across the water, and the policeman said 'Don't look back, don't look back.' But he did look back. And there was the psychopath, banging his boyfriends head on the roof of the car . . . sorry wrong story"
"There's this one bit in the bible where this guy called Moses goes up onto this mountain and he takes these tablets with him. And he sees a lot of weird shit up there too. And not only that he comes back a prophet. Now you don't go up a mountain and come back a prophet unless your selling the shit up there."
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