A radio, 
a garden chair 
balloons
But Larry lived to tell the tale which begins in 1982 when he was disqualified from the Air Force because of bad eye-sight. So he attached 45 weather balloons, to a garden chair, strapped himself and his air-rifle in, and took off.
Larry quickly passed the 30ft altitude he thought he'd reach and eventually leveled off at abouy 11, 000 feet. Now cold and quite frighened, Larry floated over Los Angeles for 14 hours, too scared to shoot any of the ballons to get himself down.
Then Larry drifted over LA International Airport. Two airpilots radioed air traffic control and reported seeing a man, with a gun, in a garden chair, at 11, 000 feet.
LA emergency services were scrambled and a helicopter towed Larry to safety. Sadly, Larry passed away in October last year, and according to his mum, he wanted to remembered as the lawn chair pilot.
a psychiatrist couch, doctors bills
and a duck
Her personalities included Satan, angels that tak to God and a duck. The problem came to ight when nadine decided to consult a 2nd psychiatrist after the waiting room was becomng too crowded
An expert testified the implant made the man's penis enlarge spontaneously during vigorous activity, like body-surfing.
So they let him off because the erection was not under his conscious control . . . as opposed to?
But if it inflates automatically during body-surfing, wouldn't it flip you over onto your back?
Maybe an erection acts as a kind of winged-keel. Holds you in place on the wave ad propels you through the water at speed. . .
Whatever the case, guys with implants should have hazard signs. 'Warning! Penis may inflate during rapid deceleration'.
skelton key,
family tree, 
cheese
A teacher in the English town of Cheddar has discovered that he's a direct descendant of a hunter gatherer who lived in the same area 10,000 years ago.
DNA tests proved Adrian Targett is related to 'Cheddar Man', the oldest complete skeleton ever found in Britain.
Using this DNA evidence, police have charged Targett with the unsolved murder of a woolly mammoth in 8,000 BC.
It's the second time an english citizen has stumbled upon a 10,000 year old relative. The first was when one of Barbara Cartland's nephews accidently barged in while she was taking a bath.
Of course, most men carry something which links them to a primitive, stone-age past. It's called their penis.
Palaeontologists also expect the existence of 'Camembert Man', but he's too squishy to leave fossils.
And, in South East Asia, they've uncovered the remwains of 'Low Fat Non-Dairy tofu man, who's still looking pretty good
John's lawyer said it was obviouslya joke gone wrong. If his client had really wanted to rob the shop, he would have used one of those really big toblerones or a sawn-off Polly Waffle.
The shopkeeper said he would have defended himself but he'd just sold a bag of mixed lollies containing the last of his bullets.
But there's nothing funny about holding up a shop with a Mara Bar. Now, if he had used a Magnum ice-cream, that would hve had layer upon layer of irony.
Sadly, prison authorities won't et John take his Mars Bar ibto jail. But he will be allowed to keep his freckle
car keys
empty bottles
First time- Friday, 10pm. MAle driver, five times over the limit. He was arrested, adn the car was left on the side of the road.
Ninety minutes later, police stop the Datsun again. Femae driver, who blew .075. Luckily the cops didn;t take her licence away, because she didn;t have one.
Five minutes later, SAME car, SAME street, differnt woman. .19. Are they sure it wasn't the same woman? Maybe she just put on a wig and skulled a bottle of scotch.
Anyway, things went quiet for a while after that. Obviously word had gotton out that the magic Dastsun of Glen Innes was no onger invisible to police.
It's like an episode of the 'Fourex Files. . . '
Then, Saturday, 3pm, cops pull over the car for the 4th time. Mae driver, no licence, but only packing .075. Well at east they were getting soberer.
But no! Three and a half hours later, behind the wheel of that same Stanza was a man with the blood alcohol reading of .26. That's not drunk. That's embalmed. He shouldn't be in a Datsun. He should be in a specimen jar
LA district attorney Todd Rubinstein tod the first jury Stephen Davis killed Willie Yeng. The day before the same DA told a diffeernt jury that John Winklemen was the man who pulled the trigger.
This guy successfuly convicted two men for a crime that one man clearly didn;t ommit, where was he during the O.J trial?
But it is possible that both defenders held the gun, you know in a sort of tango position.
The case does set an interesting legal precendent though. it used to be one person one crime, but now you can have an infinite number of people charged wihtb the same offence
I guess philosphically we all killed Wilie Yeng. Tke us away Officeer we exist therefore we are guilty
Tawny Peaks says she was completely unaware anyhting had happened until she got home and found Paul jammed in her cleavage.
He says it was like being hit by a car. And, at 69HH, Yawny's breasts are actually larger han several sporty European models.
He's ucky he only got whiplash. If it had been winter, Tawny coud have had his eyes out.
Sadly it's not the first time Tawny's breasts have been in trouble. A couple of years ago they ran away from home and tried to find their real parents in Silicon Valley
Key chain,
rice and a 
broken heartTennassee idiot Buster Mitchell was jilted by his girlfriend so he appied to marry his 1996 Mustang GT. It was such a romantic proposal too. He drove to a secluded spot, got down on one knee before her, the handbrake slipped and she pinned him against the tree
Mitchell says there are 3 things you need for a successful relationship with your car- trust, communication and a rally tested lubricant
Sadly Mitchells marriage appication was rejected. The problem wasn't the fact that she was a car, it was that she only 3 years old. In Tennssse you have to be 12.
Buster says he may not be alowed to marry his car, but that won't stop him from servicing her every 10, 000 k's
Sticky bun, 
Lawyers letter, and 
teatowelSadly, Mother T's lawyers know want Bob to stop using hteir clients name when talking about the miracle bun.
The elderly saint thought long an dhard about legal action. She said she couldn't remember the last time when the words Mother Theresa and nice buns were used inthe same sentence
After pleading woth him not to hurt the bird, a female customer withdrew some money, and the bandit fled, leaving the goose behind.
The best thing about goose hold-ups is that they only haooen six months of the year, because all the weapons fly south for the winter.
The Canadian government is now considering a goose buy back scheme. In the meantime they've announced a national goose amnesty, where you can hand in your geese at local police stations, where they won't be destroyed.
But goose extremists claim people will refuse to give up their geese, and bury them in the backyard. They say if you make owning geese a crime, only crimminals will own geese
In an unrelated incident, a man has escaped from a Montreal jail after carving a bar of soap into a mallard
'There was only one choice' Hill said. 'But he fly put up a good fight as it went down. I could feel it buzzing in my throat.'
He'd only just finished giving an update on the cricket . . . which had crawled into his nose during the ad break.
As he made the decision to swallow the fly, Hill says he tried to think of it as a tiny black chicken with six little drumsticks.
To stop this happening again, Jonathon has now installed some dangling strips of plastic in the back of his throat.
Of course, if a fly newsreader swallowed a human, he would've vomited it all over his desk, then sucked it back up through his nose.
Jonathon Hill says since it happened, he hasn't had one decent nights sleep. Whenever he tries to nod off, he keeps hearing this tiny voice saying 'Help me! Help me!'