Chapter 31

"She alright Sully?" asked Horace worriedly, as he handed him a glass of water. He indicated the old woman sitting on the wooden station bench. From his place in the office doorway, he could only see the back of her stylishly coiffed head.

Sully nodded. "She’ll be fine I reckon …. travellin’ probably got to her … I’ll look after her … make sure she gits where she’s goin’."

Horace nodded gratefully and watched as Sully returned to the woman’s side and squatted down beside her. As he did so, the woman turned to look at him and Horace’s breath caught. "Oh my!" he muttered under his breath. He hurried forward in time to hear the woman say, "Thank-you Sully …. perhaps this journey is a little too arduous for me now." Horace halted in his tracks to watch his friend, whose eyes widened in surprise.

"You know me?" Sully asked in astonishment.

Elizabeth Quinn put her nose in the air. "Of course I know you … and *you* know me!"

Sully stood and took a deep breath. "I’m sorry … I … I … don’t … you see …"

"What do you mean you don’t? … What game are you playing Sully? Its bad enough that I have no idea where you’ve been for the past four years … but …"

Horace rushed forward and unconsciously bowed a little before the new arrival. "Ah Mrs Quinn …. I can explain …. you see …"

"Mrs Quinn!" exclaimed Sully behind him.

Horace turned to him. "Its Dr Mike’s ma Sully ….. from Boston …. Didn’ ya know she was comin’?"

"Do not discuss me as if I were not here young man," said Elizabeth imperiously. "No .. Michaela didn’t know I was coming …. I was so concerned about her last, brief missive I decided it best to come out here at once …" She paused and looked up into Sully’s embarrassed face. "Though I’m willing to admit … I had no idea what …. or who … I would find when I arrived. I hope Michaela has a credible excuse for not apprising me of what has been happening here."

Sully took a step towards her. "I’m sorry ma’am …. I truly didn’ know it was you … maybe if we go across ta Grace’s …. you could have some … ah …. refreshment …. an’ I’ll fetch a wagon ta take ya out to the homestead …"

Mrs Quinn stood and regarded her son-in-law askance. "Ma’am?!" she exhorted. "It’s a long time since I heard you call me that! You sound like one of the servants! Last time I saw you, you’d settled on Elizabeth …and though at the time I thought it a little forward … informal … I much prefer it to ma’am …."

Horace tried again. "Mrs Quinn … maybe if ya listened ta him … you don’ know what’s bin goin’ on …. Sully’ll explain it to ya …"

Elizabeth suddenly thumped the end of her cane against the wooden floor. "I expect *at least* that," she said self-importantly. "Mr Bing … I assume there will be no problem with leaving my bags here until Sully brings the wagon?"

"Ah … no ma’am … no problem at all," responded Horace immediately, feeling intimidated as he always did in Mrs Quinn’s presence.

"Good …. Sully …. your suggestion of refreshments would be welcome … and on the way you may explain your strange behaviour …. but be warned … I am not easily duped … as you well know …," she stated, taking his proffered hand and stepping down from the platform.

Horace anxiously watched them leave. He didn’t envy Sully one little bit, even if he did have a legitimate excuse for his seemingly strange behaviour. If only Dr Mike’s ma had given Sully a chance to explain everything. He sighed and went back into the telegraph office to sort a whole day’s mail.

"Now Sully …. I believe its time you told me what’s going on … and then I want to see my daughter and grandchildren," said Elizabeth, her tone softening just a little at the mention of family.

They halted to allow a loaded wagon to pass and then continued on towards the café. "It’s a long story Mrs Quinn … an’ no matter how I explain it … its gonna seem far-fetched …," he began hesitantly.

"Well … begin with why you didn’t return home as expected a little over four years ago," she suggested a touch wryly. "And left my daughter and grandchildren devastated."

Sully’s jaw clenched and, like a red-hot poker, a pang went through his heart. "I had a bad accident," he stated, striving to keep his tone level.

"And?"

"An’ I was unconscious … for a long time …up in the mountains …. fella called Manuel Reyes found me … took me ta Paynesville …."

"Where Michaela’s letter was posted …"

"Uh huh …."

"That still doesn’t explain why you were missing for so long … or your strange behaviour …," Elizabeth reiterated.

Sully guided her into the café grounds and then held the door open for her. Grace’s eyebrows shot up when she realised who the new arrivals were. She scurried across and exclaimed, "Mrs Quinn! We didn’ know you were comin’! It’s a long time since you’ve bin ta town. Come in …. an’ sit down …. You only just arrived?" She shot a curious glance at Sully who shrugged his shoulders helplessly.

"As I was not sure of Michaela’s whereabouts I did not advise anyone of my arrival. I had visions of having to continue further south … if Michaela had not returned by the time I arrived," explained Elizabeth tiredly, the rigours of the journey from Boston beginning to take their toll. "Whilst I’m pleased that I do not have to continue, I still have heard no explanation for your return Sully …. nor my daughter’s lack of information on the matter …"

Sully watched her guiltily. So much had happened in the last few weeks, it was probable that Michaela had merely forgotten to write to her mother, and *he* certainly hadn’t given it a thought.

Grace watched the two of them worriedly. It was obvious that Sully was feeling extremely uncomfortable and she realised that in all likelihood, he did not as yet remember his mother-in-law. "Ah … Mrs Quinn …. I’ll git you a drink … Coffee alright? An’ would ya like a piece of pie? Sully’ll explain everythin’ …. Its an amazing story …," she offered placatingly.

"I’m beginning to believe that Grace," responded Elizabeth. "I’d like a tea thank-you …. with a little sugar … no pie." She turned back to Sully. "Well?"

For the next several minutes, Sully haltingly explained where he’d been for the past four years and how Michaela had arrived unexpectedly and informed him who he really was. As the story unfolded, Mrs Quinn gradually sat further back in her chair, her eyebrows occasionally rising incredulously, her brow sometimes creasing into a frown. As he concluded she asked, "And so … how long have you been back in Colorado Springs?"

"Little over a week," he replied quietly.

"And you’ve had to reassociate yourself with the people and the area?"

"Yes … ma’am." Her eyebrows again rose. "Ah … Mrs Quinn," he hastily amended.

"You truly do not remember me?"

"Ah … no …sorry," replied Sully apologetically. "There’s still a real lot I don’ remember … a lot is comin’ back though … We dunno how long it’ll take … or even whether I’ll remember everythin’ … maybe I won’t …" His eyes dropped to the tabletop. "Its bin real hard on Michaela …"

"And how is my daughter after all this?"

Elizabeth observed the softening of his expression as he replied, "I couldna got through it without her …. she’s real special …."

For the first time since her arrival she smiled, just a little. "I am aware of that," she acknowledged quietly. She placed her tea cup back on its saucer and stood. "Perhaps its time we went out to the homestead hmmm?"

Sully quickly stood and suggested, "Maybe it’d be better if you stayed here where its warmer …. I gotta organise a buggy from Robert E an’ then I’ll collect your bags from Horace."

Elizabeth nodded as tiredness again washed over her, and Sully hurried out. Grace immediately came across to her bearing a fresh cup of tea. As she put it down, she said quietly, "I told ya it was an amazing story huh."

The old woman shook her head. "Very hard to believe," she murmured.

"I know it … but you’ve only got ta see him with Dr Mike an’ Katie ta know its true … I dunno how Dr Mike’s got through it … I aint sure I’da coped …," mused Grace. When Mrs Quinn remained silent, she added, "You know how she was when you were here last? Kinda closed off …" Elizabeth nodded, so Grace continued, "You shoulda seen her the other night …. here at the café …. We had a sorta welcome home for Sully … an’ even though she was worried all night ‘bout how he was doin’ … she was alive again …. I aint seen her like that for a long time …"

"So she never improved? …. I thought after I went home … I mean … it was *four* years …."

Grace shook her head. "I know a ma don’ wanna hear it … but no … she never got over it …. It was like a part of her went missin’ with Sully … she tried ta act normal … but her friends knew …."

Again Elizabeth shook her head and then she momentarily grasped Grace’s hand. "I should have been here …," she remarked softly.

Grace dropped into the chair Sully had vacated and looked into her troubled old face. "You *were* here …. for a long time …. You couldna done anythin’ more …. no-one could …," she said gently. "There was only one person she needed …. an’ he weren’t here … All of us tried to help her … an’ I know the kids worried about her a lot …. but even they couldn’ get through to her …"

"Perhaps she should have returned to Boston …as I suggested …."

"An’ leave the only ties to Sully she had? Leave her friends … an’ some of her family? …" Grace rejoined. "You know … if she had … they wouldn’ be back together again today …"

Elizabeth nodded, very close to tears. Observing this Grace added, "I know she’ll be real glad ta see ya …"

Elizabeth swallowed and squeezed Grace’s hand. "Thank-you," she said quietly. "For being patient with a tired, old woman."

Grace shook her head. "There are a lot of us ‘round here love Dr Mike … you’re her ma … I just wanted ya ta know how its bin …"

*********************

Sully settled Elizabeth into the borrowed buggy, securely wrapping a thick blanket around her legs, and then sprang into the seat beside her. He glanced across to ensure she was comfortable and then flicked the reins, sending them moving forward at a brisk pace.

As they cleared the town’s outskirts, Elizabeth said quietly, "I believe I owe you an apology Sully …"

He glanced across at her in surprise. "An apology? Why?" he asked.

"For my behaviour …. especially shortly after I arrived … at the station …. I should have known there was an explanation …."

"You got a shock …. your reaction weren’t no different ta lots of other folks," offered Sully quietly.

"I’d sat on various trains for the past week …. pondering what had caused Michaela to begin searching for you again … but never once did I consider that she may have had a legitimate reason … or that she would be successful in finding you … it just didn’t seem possible after all this time …," mused Elizabeth, half to herself.

Sully reached across to lay his hand gently over hers, tightly clenched in her lap. "I understand … truly …. I’m just sorry I don’ remember you …" She smiled at him gratefully and some of the tension in her body eased, just a little. The rest of the short journey was conducted in companionable silence, each believing they’d reached a perhaps tenuous understanding.

In the dim twilight, Sully drew the buggy to a halt and Katie immediately emerged from the front door. She started excitedly down the steps only to falter when she spied the lady accompanying her father. She frowned, wondering who he’d brought home with him.

Noting her indecision, Sully called out, "Hey Kates … go tell ya ma ya grandma’s come ta visit …."

"Grandma!" exclaimed the little girl. "From Boston?!" Instead of heading back inside, she ran forward and then stopped abruptly a couple of feet from the buggy. "Grandma?" she reiterated, a little uncertainly.

Elizabeth opened her arms to the little girl who, upon finally recognising the old lady, ran to her delightedly. "Grandma!" she exclaimed again, wrapping her arms around the old lady’s waist. "I didn’ know you was comin’ …" She looked across to her father with suspicion. "Why didn’ you tell me papa? Was it supposed to be a surprise?"

Chuckling at how similar she was to her mother, Sully began to reply but was forestalled by Elizabeth. "No-one knew I was coming sweetheart," she said quietly. Desiring a change of subject she lifted her daughter’s plaster-encased arm. "And what have you been doing to yourself young lady?" she asked with a concerned smile.

Katie dropped her eyes to the ground. "I broke it," she replied self-consciously.

"I can see that," rejoined Elizabeth. "How?"

Katie smiled coyly up at her grandmother. "I … I … fell outta a tree …"

Elizabeth shook her head ruefully. "And what were you doing up in a tree?"

"Lookin’ for eggs .."

Elizabeth sighed. "Why did I ask?" she stated rhetorically. She glanced across at Sully who had come around to assist her out of the buggy. "She’s her mother all over again," she added with a wry smile. She eased herself gingerly off the seat to the ground and then, taking her grand-daughter’s hand, and supporting herself on her cane, moved slowly towards the porch steps. "Time we went inside to surprise your mother sweetheart …."

Michaela, stirring a steaming pot of stew, glanced up as the front door opened, expecting to see Sully and Katie enter. Instead her little daughter appeared hand in hand with the last person she’d expected to see this evening. "Mother?!" she exclaimed in shocked suprise. She dropped the spoon and hurried forward. "Where did you come from? …. Why didn’t you let us know you were coming?" She embraced Elizabeth a little stiltedly, as was always the case when first greeting her mother - theirs had always been an uneasy relationship.

Elizabeth studied her daughter. She looked tired, but decidedly more composed than when she last saw her. "I arrived on this afternoon’s train," she explained matter-of- factly. "Sully met me at the station, although he had no idea that’s what he was doing at the time."

Michaela’s gaze moved quickly to her husband whose eyes were twinkling. "We … ah … had quite a time at first," he explained with a self-conscious smile. "I didn’ know I was helpin’ my mother in law."

"Oh my," exclaimed Michaela., her eyes darting from one to the other in a strange mixture of amusement and consternation.

**************************

Michaela tapped lightly at the door of the guestroom and then pushed it open. Her mother was sitting tiredly on the edge of the bed gathering her long salt and pepper hair into a single braid to one side. She looked as if even that simple exercise was too much for her. "Mother … are you alright? Do you have everything you need?" she asked anxiously, walking across the room to check the china water jug and basin on the dresser.

Elizabeth regarded her daughter wearily. "I’m fine Michaela ….," she replied quietly.

Michaela turned and was immediately concerned by her mother’s drawn features and the greyish tinge to her skin. She tentatively reached out to gently touch Elizabeth’s cheek. "You look so tired," she said quietly. "You shouldn’t have come."

Elizabeth shrugged. "I was worried," she said pointedly.

Michaela blushed. "I can look after myself mother," she asserted, striving to keep her voice even. "Rebecca’s told me in her letters about your health problems the last couple of years … Journeying all the way out here …. on your own … it wasn’t necessary …"

Elizabeth shook her head dismissively. "I received your letter from Paynesville …. ‘Am investigating Hank’s report that he saw Sully down here’ I believe it said …. then nothing …. I waited for more information from you for nearly two weeks …. still nothing …. I knew the children had been worried …. It seemed time for someone to try to talk some sense into you … and as Rebecca was unable to accompany me I set out alone …"

Michaela took a deep breath. "I did write to you mother …twice …"

"I received nothing .."

"It seems you may have left Boston before my letters arrived."

"A telegram would have been sufficient," admonished Elizabeth. "Its bad enough you live so far away …. in this God-forsaken place …. but when you don’t bother to let me know what is happening … to you …. and your family …"

"I did …. when I could …." rejoined Michaela in a small voice. "Everything happened so quickly in the end … we found Sully on the first day … discovered he had the amnesia … It was all so confusing …. one minute I was exhilarated …. the next overwhelmed with the problems we faced …"

"And in the meantime you forgot to let me know what was happening …," murmured Elizabeth resignedly.

Michaela hung her head. "Yes," she replied honestly. "I suppose nothing else mattered at the time." She raised her troubled eyes to look into her mother’s. "I’m sorry," she said contritely. "I know that sounded callous … but …."

"But …" Elizabeth suddenly reached out to grasp her daughter’s hand. "I understand Michaela …. finding your husband alive … after so many years …. took precedence … I’m not entirely unfeeling …." She drew Michaela closer. "I really *do* worry about you, you know …. I know you’re a grown woman … with a family of your own …. but you’re still my youngest and most headstrong daughter …"

Michaela reddened and lowered to eyes to the lace counterpane on the bed. "I … I … really am sorry I worried you … I didn’t mean to … Finding Sully after all this time was the most extraordinary thing …. but there were so many obstacles to overcome …"

"You have no doubts about his story …. the amnesia?" asked Elizabeth warily.

Michaela’s eyes flew up to her mother’s face and she replied vehemently, "None!"

Elizabeth raised a hand to halt whatever her daughter may say next. "I’m sorry I asked … I didn’t mean I doubted him … Coming across him at the train station like that was a most unsettling experience … it was obvious he did not recognise me at all …"

"Its been so hard for him … coming back here … having people he doesn’t recognise stop him in the street … or ogle him through windows …," continued Michaela wearily. "The past few days he’s remembered so much …. but the return of his memories is random …. He’ll remember small, unimportant things … and not remember momentous occasions … or people he’s known for a long time … like you …"

"I’ve hardly played a large role in his life Michaela," Elizabeth rationalised.

"It wouldn’t matter if you had mother … he might remember you …. or he might not …," explained Michaela with a sigh.

Elizabeth placed her hand gently on her daughter’s shoulder. "It seems to me that Sully is not the only one to find this situation difficult …," she suggested with concern.

"No … you’re right ….," replied Michaela guardedly. She suddenly straightened her shoulders. "But if it came to a choice between finding him like this and not finding him at all …. there is no choice!"

Elizabeth smiled. "That sounds like my Michaela …. I hope you don’t mind that I’ve imposed myself on you like this … at this time …"

Michaela swallowed and said softly, "You were worried about me … I realise now how strange my letter from Paynesville must have sounded …" She looked directly into her mother’s eyes. "I’m glad you’re here …. and thank-you for worrying about me …. I’ve missed you …"

Fighting tears, Elizabeth opened her arms to her daughter who walked readily into them. They held each other close, each gaining comfort from the other’s loving embrace.

Chapter 32

Sully, propped up against the pillows in their bed, looked up as Michaela entered the bedroom. "Is ya ma alright?" he asked with concern. "She looked real tired at supper."

Michaela frowned and then nodded. "She says she’s fine …. just tired … the trip out here was too much for her really …," she replied, a touch of guilt in her tone.

"Now don’ you go worryin’ its your fault she came out here," warned Sully, with a loving smile.

"Bit it *is* my fault…"

"There was so much goin’ on a few weeks back … you couldn’ remember everythin’ …. an’ ya *did* write to her …"

"Mmmm … too late … by the time my letters arrived in Boston …. she’d left …. They’re probably sitting on the sideboard in her home waiting for her return …"

Sully shrugged. "Ya can only do ya best …"

Michaela removed the leather thong tied to the end of her braid and then ran her fingers through her long tresses. "Today is the first time I’ve looked at mother and consciously thought she’s getting old," she mused, picking up the hair brush.

"I don’ remember how she was before …. but she looks pretty good ta me …. There aint many women her age who’d be up ta travellin’ across the country on their own …"

"I suppose," rejoined Michaela ruefully. "The cane’s new …. Rebecca said she’s been having trouble …"

"Looked ta me like she uses it more for confidence than actual support," Sully suggested. "I reckon Katie’ll be good for her …. They seem to get on real well … Katie makes her laugh …"

Michaela smiled. "You’re right," she agreed. "They spent so much time together … in that first year after you disappeared …. Mother stayed here and cared for Brian and Katie … while Matthew and I … and some of the townsfolk like Robert E and Horace … scoured the country from here to Santa Fe …" She quickly removed her skirt and blouse and moved across to the dresser to withdraw her nightgown from the top drawer. Her back to him she muttered, "I owe her so much …. and repay her by dragging her out here against doctor’s orders …"

"You didn’ drag her out here Michaela …. it was her decision." When she did not respond, he added, "Who’s to say she didn’ wanna come out …. maybe she’s bin missin’ Katie …. Comin’ out cos of your letter mighta just bin an excuse …"

Michaela turned to look at him in amazement. "I doubt it," she said wryly. Then she frowned. "Do you think?" she asked dubiously.

Sully shrugged. "Who knows …. but I reckon she’s glad ta be here …. an’ with it bein’ so close to Christmas …." He trailed off.

She smiled. "You see the world …. and people …. so differently to the way I do sometimes ….," she said softly.

"That’s a good thing aint it?" he asked, his eyebrows raised, his eyes twinkling.

Nightgown in hand, she walked slowly across to the bed. "A very good thing," she replied softly. She stopped by the edge of the bed and slowly removed her camisole, then the remainder of her undergarments. She lifted the nightgown high to pull it over her head and Sully playfully reached across to tear it our of her hands, tossing it onto the floor on his side of the bed. "Sully!" she exclaimed, blushing furiously.

He chuckled. "Ya don’ need that …. come snuggle up with me …. I’ll keep ya warm …." She hesitated for only a second before climbing up onto the bed and quickly and modestly pulling the covers up over herself. Beneath the covers though she sidled across to lay close against him, her head on his chest. He immediately began to caress her scalp and shoulders, causing her to almost purr in contentment. "Don’ go worryin’ ‘bout ya ma too much," he said softly. "She wouldn’ be here if she didn’ wanna be …"

She nodded slightly and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I can’t help it Sully …. We may have had our differences … but I love her …. I can’t imagine my life without her …. there in the background …. someone I can turn to ….," she murmured.

"Like ya did when I went missin’?"

"Mmmm …. she was here within a week of us all deciding something had happened to you …. I didn’t have to ask …. She was so wonderful with Katie who couldn’t understand where you’d gone …."

He lightly kissed the top of her head. "We both owe her then huh?" he offered softly. "What did ya mean when you said you’d had your differences?"

Michaela shrugged and then tilted her head up to look into his eyes, attempting to gauge whether he was really interested. When his clear blue eyes met hers and he gave her an encouraging squeeze, she rested her head back on his chest and answered softly, "I don’t think mother ever really believed that I’d finally become a doctor … she did everything she could to dissuade me from attending medical college …. I realise now that rather than being obstinate, she was actually trying to protect me. She’d seen enough of the medical fraternity to guess what the reaction would be to a woman joining their ranks …. She was almost scathing about me working with father …. and when he died …. and my meagre practice disappeared, she believed I’d finally see sense and give up medicine …. marry and have children …"

"Ya did the last part," offered Sully with a gentle caress.

Michaela chuckled wryly, "Yes …. that’s true …. but I did it after travelling half way across the country and establishing a practice in what mother calls the ‘uncivilised west’. You should have seen her face when I told her I’d accepted the position here …. She thought I’d gone mad …. She could barely bring herself to say goodbye."

"Maybe she didn’ wanna lose her daughter …. You’re the youngest aint ya? … an’ you were still livin’ at home …. You leavin’ ta come here meant she was alone …," suggested Sully carefully.

Michaela lovingly kissed his chest. "You’re right again," she said softly. "But it took me years to work it out …. I was amazed that mother kept coming out here …. undertaking the long, tiring journey … leaving her family and friends …. the comforts of Boston life …." She trailed off.

"Colorado Springs offered her somethin’ she couldn’ git back in Boston maybe? Her daughter …. grandchildren …." He tilted her chin to look into her eyes. "I know I’d travel half way across the country if you were there," he murmured seductively.

She blushed and her skin tingled, but she retorted with a giggle, "I don’t think I can compare your motives with mother’s …"

He chuckled. "Well …. you’d be the motive for both of us …"

"You *did* travel to Boston once." She glanced up at him shyly.

"Uh huh …. an’ I’d do it agin if I thought there was a chance I was losin’ you …"

"Do you remember that trip … or just what I’ve told you about it?" asked Michaela hopefully.

"Bit o’ both," he replied. "Sometimes they git confused an’ I aint sure …"

"You don’t remember mother … so there’re some parts you definitely don’t recall .."

"Probably a lot of it if the truth be told …. Maybe one day all the parts’ll fit an’ I’ll remember everythin’ …," he murmured soulfully.

Michaela eased herself up to kiss his cheek lovingly. "Maybe one day," she reiterated. "But it doesn’t matter how long it takes. When I lay here with you like this it feels like it always did … What’s happened in our past …. or what might happen in our future isn’t important …. being with you is what matters most …" She felt him take a deep breath and when she looked up his eyes were suspiciously bright. He gave her a wan smile and then gently pulled her up so he could claim her lips with his. The kiss quickly deepened and she eased herself up further and hooked her leg over his, enjoying the gentle loving. He eventually pulled back a little, pulled her even closer and kissed her forehead. "I love you so much Michaela," he murmured against her ear.

"And I you …. When I think about what’s happened and consider the consequences if Hank hadn’t recognised you in Paynesville …. it takes my breath away … This time last year …. or the past few years for that matter …. leading up to Christmas ….. without you beside me …. my heart wasn’t in it …." She kissed him again lovingly. "But this year … I’m so looking forward to it all …. and in a few days Doc will be here too …. we’ll have to work out sleeping arrangements with mother here now …. Its going to be wonderful Sully …."

"Mmmm …. Christmas with a family huh? I like the sound of that …. Course Doc an’ Ned an’ Arlene were with me the last few Christmases …. but there was somethin’ missin’ …. Guess I’m about to discover what ….. hey Michaela?" He slid down in the bed and turned to face her, their faces only inches apart. "I bet Katie’s a treat at Christmas …."

"You could say that," giggled Michaela. "She’s unstoppable."

"Bet her ma is too …. an’ Brian’s still young enough to enjoy it …. Guess we all will …. no matter what age …. long as we’re all together …. We’ll make it special for your ma too …. an’ Doc …. We got a real lot to celebrate …," he murmured, his eyes fixing on her mouth. He swallowed and took a deep breath. His voice emerged huskily. "Course … we could start celebratin’ early …. just you an’ me …. no need ta tell the others …."

Michaela’s hand moved up over his hip to his chest enticingly. "What did you have in mind?" she whispered, mesmerised by the blue of his eyes.

He cupped her buttock, pulling her close, and then caressed her skin, moving upwards until his fingers lightly brushed her breast. "Reckon you can guess," he murmured, placing tiny kisses to the corners of her mouth.

In response she pressed herself up against him and lifted her leg, sensually stroking his calf with her instep. She began to nuzzle his neck and then moved lower to his chest. "Is this something like you had in mind," she asked seductively. She then blew on his skin and kissed the ensuing goosebumps. "Or this?" she added softly.

"Think all my Christmases have come at once," he breathed, pulling the covers up to their chins. "Time for presents hmmm?"

She giggled softly and then claimed his mouth with hers for a long, ultimately *very* satisfying kiss.

***************************

Michaela looked up as the surgery bell rang. She called, "Come in" and was beginning to rise from her chair when Stephen Monroe poked his head through the doorway. "You expecting a patient Michaela?" he asked with a smile.

She gave him a welcoming smile in return and sat down again. "No … my next appointment isn’t due for half an hour … are you ill?" she rejoined, beckoning him inside.

"No … but as you’ve been … ah … unavailable lately … I thought this might be the best opportunity to see you," the bank manager replied, walking into the surgery. He glanced around as if seeking someone. "Your husband not here?" he asked perfunctorily.

"No … he’s at home …. I’m only working the morning and then going home for lunch …. Mother arrived from Boston yesterday …. so she’s there too ….," replied Michaela informatively. "Sully said he met you the other day," she added with barely concealed curiosity.

"Mmm …. outside the bank …. He’s an interesting character …. It must be strange for you …. with him turning up out of the blue …. after so long." He was watching her face intently for her reaction.

Her eyes almost imperceptibly narrowed. There was an uncharacteristic edge to his voice. "Not strange," she responded immediately. "Wonderful …"

"He said you were the one that actually found him …" He sat himself in the chair on the opposite side of the desk.

"Mmm …. well Hank was the first …. he came back and told me about seeing Sully and we journeyed down there the next day with Matthew …"

"Why didn’t you tell me that’s where you were going … and why?" he suddenly asked.

Again she regarded him speculatively. "We didn’t tell anyone …. except family," she rejoined quietly, deliberately not mentioning Grace and Robert E. "What if it hadn’t been Sully down there after all?…. I couldn’t have withstood the gossip again …"

"Of course not!" he acknowledged whole-heartedly. "But … well … I was beginning to think that we were more than mere friends …. that you might have confided in me about such an important matter …"

Michaela swallowed and her brow creased. "You know me Stephen … I’m a very private person … and if I *had* confided in you? What then?"

He shrugged his shoulders, not expecting her to confront him so expeditiously. "I … I …"

She nodded. "You would have tried to dissuade me from going …. am I correct?"

He sighed. "Perhaps …. It would have seemed to me a foolhardy quest …. after all he’d been missing for more than four years!"

"Exactly …. except that it wasn’t foolhardy …. He *was* there … and needed me …."

"Is that why you’re together now …. because he *needed* you?" asked Stephen abruptly.

Michaela regarded him in shocked surprise. "No!" she exclaimed vehemently. "I never made any secret of the way I felt about Sully Stephen …. I never gave you any indication that my love for him had cooled …. did I?"

The bank manager held up his hands in mock surrender. "Alright …. I’m sorry I asked … I was out of line .."

"Yes you were …."

Stephen looked suitably contrite. "I truly am sorry Michaela … I had no right to question your motives." He ran his hand agitatedly through his wavy, blond hair.

Michaela’s ire abruptly dissipated. "I know you were concerned for me …. thank-you … but there is no reason to doubt what is happening to me at present is what I want …."

He nodded resignedly. "I heard someone mention amnesia …. is that right?"

"Yes …. an almost complete loss of memory …"

"Is that very common? …. Have you ever seen a case before?" he asked earnestly.

"No …. its very unusual … I’ve read medical journal articles on the condition … but I’d had no first-hand experience before this," replied Michaela guilelessly.

He fixed his eyes on the desktop and traced the wood grain with his fingertip. "So … you’re relying on *his* account of what’s happened to him …," he said softly. Realising that he may once again have stepped out of line, he reddened and raised his eyes to lock with hers. He suddenly wished he hadn’t. They were spitting fire. "Not that I’m doubting him, mind you," he added hastily.

Michaela slowly stood. "Why did you come here today Stephen?" she asked a touch coldly.

He too rose. "I … I …. wondered how you were ….. how you were feeling about things," he replied lamely.

"And yet when I told you, you seemed to doubt the veracity of my reply," she questioned benignly.

He suddenly straightened. "I was worried about you Michaela," he said genuinely. "I watched you in the café a few nights ago with him …. heard about the amnesia … you made no effort to visit with me …. explain what’s been happening …."

"I’ve been rather preoccupied recently Stephen," she rejoined quietly. "And I wasn’t aware I owed you an explanation …"

"I thought we cared about each other Michaela …. I know I care for you …." He trailed off.

Realising that once again Sully had most probably been correct, she sighed. "We’re *friends* Stephen …. nothing more …. I’m sorry if that’s not the way you saw it … I told you right from the beginning …"

"I know …. I know …. that there would never be anyone else for you but Sully … you told me …. but I thought …. I hoped …."

"Hoped?"

He gulped. "Hoped you’d grow to care for me … as I care for you … I was prepared to wait for as long as it took …"

"Oh Stephen," murmured Michaela compassionately. "I’m sorry …. but there’s nothing else I can say …. I love Sully dearly …. I’m happier now than I’ve been in many years …" She paused and lowered her eyes to the floor. "You’re a dear friend … who helped me through the bad times …. I hope we can remain friends …."

Stephen shook his head balefully. "That remains to be seen Michaela …. that remains to be seen …" He strode across to the door and turned the handle. He swung around and said politely, "Give my regards to your *husband* and family … good day Michaela." He pulled the door open, exited and closed the door again, with a little more strength than was necessary.

Michaela slumped back into her chair. Life was indeed complicated. She really hadn’t ever contemplated what Stephen had been hoping for. As the years passed, would her feelings have changed? She thought of Sully working in his newly established workshop in the barn at home. No, he would *always* hold her heart as she did his. She glanced up at the clock. Her last patient for the morning was due in a few minutes and then she could go home to him.

Chapter 33

Elizabeth Quinn stepped out onto the front porch of the homestead and pulled her woollen shawl more tightly about herself. If anything, the breeze was even cooler than yesterday. In fact there was an iciness about it which perhaps heralded the first winter snows. She surveyed her surroundings and marvelled at the lack of change to the tranquil setting. She’d been coming out here from Boston for nigh on thirteen years now, and everything was as it had always been. Granted, the house timbers were a little more weathered, the old leafless oak a little more gnarled, but the mountains in the distance remained constant - towering, forbidding, beautiful and oddly soothing.

She eased herself into the roughly hewn wooden chair by the door and stretched out her aching leg. Oh the vagaries of growing old! And yet she never felt quite as old here as she did at home in Beacon Hill. Perhaps it was that she had less opportunities here to sit and contemplate her advanced age and her aches and pains, or perhaps it was little Katie who always kept her on her toes and her heart light. She glanced around to see that no-one was watching and then gave her aching hip and leg a hearty, relieving rub.

The sound of sawing emanating from the barn suddenly drew her attention and she consequently shook her head in wonder. She could vividly recall, during one of their numerous, somewhat heated ‘discussions’ in the months after Sully disappeared, Michaela asserting that she would *know* if Sully was dead, she’d *feel* it. Elizabeth hung her head in momentary shame. At the time, she’d scoffed at her youngest daughter who’d then flounced off angrily. Now, she had to concede that Michaela had perhaps been right. Could one actually sense such a thing? She smiled ruefully. Perhaps she was becoming sentimental in her old age? What would Claudette or Maureen have to say about such musings? She thought of her eldest daughter Rebecca back in Boston nursing a sick husband. *She* might go along with the concept. She’d always seemed to understand Michaela’s notions and needs more than anyone else in the family, except perhaps Joseph. She swallowed as an old, very familiar, but now faint pain stabbed at her heart.

Again a noise from the barn, this time hammering, redirected her thoughts. Although she’d always had mixed feelings about her son-in-law, there was something very reassuring about his presence. The difference in Michaela was remarkable and the connection between her and Sully almost tangible. Their constant need to be close, to touch, to communicate both verbally and physically, hadn’t gone unnoticed by Elizabeth in her few days back here. In Boston it would without doubt be deemed inappropriate, but here, and after such a tragic separation, she’d decided to let it pass, to say nothing. In fact, if she was honest with herself, she actually enjoyed seeing the two of them so contented, so close.

As the wind freshened, causing her to shiver, she stood and made to turn back inside. Again the sound of hammer against metal nail had her eyes flying to the barn. With no thought as to why, she re-closed the front door and, leaning on her silver tipped cane, wandered slowly across the yard towards the barn. Her son-in-law was crouched down, sanding a length of timber when she reached the doorway. He was oblivious to her presence and so she watched him for a moment before saying quietly, "Its beautiful Sully."

He started in surprise and swung around to face her. "I didn’ know you were there," he said apologetically. He eyed the fruits of his labour with some pride before shrugging his shoulders self-consciously. He stood and said quietly, "Its Katie’s Christmas present …"

Elizabeth stepped a little closer. "Its fine work," she remarked, noting the intricate carving and the smoothness of the finish on the timber.

Sully ran his fingers over the wood. "She asked me in Paynesville if I’d make her one … wanted one like her ma’s …"

"And her pa’s …"

Sully chuckled. "Back then she hadn’ worked that part out … she just knew her ma always slept in the bed I’d made …"

Elizabeth took another step closer and like Sully, ran her fingertips over the wood. "Its an interesting design …"

"Its what she wanted …. She did some drawin’s an’ we talked about it." They were both standing by a unique bed, similar in overall design to that which held pride of place in Michaela and Sully’s bedroom. This one was a little smaller and not quite as high. The dramatic difference though was in the carving. Instead of the indian design of feathers set in a circular fashion, this bed-head featured in the bottom left corner, a pair of linked, upturned horseshoes (perhaps for luck) with a spray of wildflowers winding through them, a small frog sat on a rock in the lower right corner and a pair of robins swayed on a flower stem higher up.

"It seems my grand-daughter takes after her father," remarked Elizabeth with a smile.

Sully regarded her bemusedly. "Why’s that?" he asked.

"Her love of the woods …. Its evident in the design," she explained. "And you’ve executed it beautifully. Has she seen it?"

"Nah … I’m keepin’ it a surprise …. but its kinda hard keepin’ her outta the loft where I store it before she gits home every day."

Elizabeth chuckled. "I’m sure the effort will be worth it Sully," she reassured him. She looked around and spying an old wooden chair, pulled it across and sat herself down, once again unconsciously stretching out her aching leg. "Don’t let me keep you from your work," she said softly. "That is if you don’t mind me watching …"

Sully immediately crouched down again. "Nah … I don’ mind," he replied quietly. "Katie used ta watch me in Paynesville …. She’d turn up an’ sit beside me ….. sometimes she was real quiet …. just watchin’."

"Perhaps she was enjoying having a father in her life again," responded Elizabeth.

"I guess …." He shrugged self-consciously. "It was kinda nice …. but now she’s back at school …. I miss her a little …." He suddenly reddened and regarded his mother-in-law guardedly.

"That’s understandable … you thought you had no family for a long time …."

He nodded in recognition of her observation and then went on with his sanding. Sitting a little to his right, Elizabeth watched him as he methodically and almost caressingly worked with the wood, often running his fingertips over it before once again taking up the sandpaper. After some moments Elizabeth broke the silence, saying, "I believe I now have an idea as to what to get Katie for Christmas … that is … if you and Michaela are not giving her the same thing."

Sully looked across at her curiously. "What’s that?"

"Well …. a new bed deserves a new counterpane …. perhaps something light and pretty?"

"Sounds like a good idea ta me … an’ I don’ think Michaela had it in mind …"

"Good …. next time I’m in town I’ll organise it through Loren …. I hope there’s a supplier in Denver who can have it delivered here before Christmas ….," proposed Elizabeth with sudden anxiety.

"Don’ reckon you’ve got any worries there …. with the train comin’ in twice a day now …," Sully reassured her. "Matter of fact …. I’ve bin givin’ Christmas an’ Michaela a lotta thought …. figure I should do somethin’ real special this year …." When Elizabeth nodded and her eyes glowed with interest, he continued, "I might need your help … ta do want I wanna do … Maybe we could talk about it later … when I got my thoughts more organised …"

"Of course," she agreed at once. "I’d be more than happy to help."

Sully nodded and smiled. "Good," he said conspiratorially. "Me an’ you’ve got some plannin’ ta do." He then stood and ran his hands down the sides of his blue woollen trousers in a vain attempt to rid himself of the fine white sawdust.

Watching him, a smiling Elizabeth unconsciously shook her head. Catching the movement out of the corner of his eye, Sully regarded her quizzically. She swallowed and then explained quietly, "I’ve just worked out why your appearance seems so different to me …. It’s the buckskins …. I’d registered that you weren’t wearing them now …. but watching you do that suddenly brought it home." She paused and then added hurriedly, "Don’t get me wrong now …. I was never a fan of your unconventional attire …. but somehow … well …. its different …. *you’re* different without them …" She reddened, as if she was afraid her musings were inappropriate, then stood and turned back towards the house. "It must be nearly time for lunch …. I’ll go and put on a fresh pot of coffee while you finish up here hmmm?"

Sully watched bemusedly as she walked gingerly up the yard towards the house. He glanced down at his brown wool trousers and his thick, tan, winter shirt. He *had* liked the feel of buckskin when he’d tried the pants and moccasins on a few days back. He shrugged and turned back to finish up his sanding.

************************

As the steam and smoke cleared, Sully anxiously peered into the windows of the train carriage seeking the friend they’d come to meet. Several passengers alighted, many met by happy relatives, glad to have their family home for Christmas. At last he appeared on the top step and Sully immediately stepped forward. "Hey," he said quietly, but not quite able to hide the excited light in his eyes.

Doc smiled back at him, also obviously delighted to see his protege once more. "Good evening my young friend," he said jovially, despite the dark circles under his eyes and the greyish tinge to his skin.

"Hey Doc ….. I’ll look after that," said Sully eagerly, taking the man’s large carpetbag from him. He placed it down at his feet and immediately grasped Doc’s arm. "Careful of the step," he advised quietly.

At last the old man stood on solid ground and Michaela embraced him affectionately. "I’m so glad you’ve come," she said quietly.

He nodded and smiled. "So am I …. wouldn’t have missed it for the world …," he said warmly. He reached out his gnarled old hand and grasped Sully’s arm. "I’ve missed this young man," he said quietly.

Michaela nodded. "I believe he’s missed you too," she rejoined softly.

From beside her Katie stepped forward. "Hey Doc," she said with a grin. The old man drew her to him. "I believe you’ve grown even in this short time little Miss Katie," he remarked with a chuckle. His eyes at last flew around the small group who had assembled to greet him. "So this is your family Joseph," he said quietly. The reaction to the use of his Paynesville name was decidedly mixed. For Matthew, who had heard it before, he provided only a mild start, but Brian’s and Elizabeth’s eyebrows shot up in astonishment. "Ahh …. I see that you no longer go by that name my friend," he said wisely.

Sully shrugged his shoulders, discomfited by his family’s reaction. "No …," he replied quietly. "Hope ya don’ mind …. only everyone here knew me as Sully …. I kinda got used to it …"

"Of course I don’t mind …. It was to be expected …. after all that’s who you are," Doc chuckled. "I’m just proud that you held my beloved grandfather’s name for a short time …"

"I’m proud too Doc," rejoined Sully with a smile.

With that, Brian stepped forward and Sully began to make introductions. "Ah … Doc … this is my son Brian …. He runs the town’s newspaper … Brian …. this is Doctor Evans."

Doc reached out and shook his hand. "Ah yes …. your mother talked of you when we chatted by the fire in Paynesville …. If I remember rightly … you like to fish …. She was also very proud of your writing ability …. both your fiction and the articles you write for the newspaper ….. I’ll have to read some of your editorials …"

Brian blushed furiously and mumbled something about his mother always exaggerating, a comment which drew giggles from most of those assembled.

Doc’s eyes alighted on Elizabeth and he turned inquiring eyes on Sully. "And who is this lovely lady?" he asked, a distinct twinkle in his eye. Sully opened his mouth to reply only to be forestalled by Doc. "No … don’t tell me," he added. His eyes swept across to Michaela and then back to Elizabeth, studying them both. He then took a step towards her, his hand held out. "You would be Dr Mike’s mother …. am I correct?"

Elizabeth lowered her eyes almost shyly and Sully introduced her, "Ah Doc … you’re right …. this *is* Mrs Elizabeth Quinn …. Michaela’s ma … Mrs Quinn … this is Doctor Ronald Evans …"

"I knew I was right?" exclaimed the old man in delight. "How do you do .." He turned to Michaela. "Now I know from whence you inherited your beauty." Both women blushed in unison.

Sully suddenly picked up the old doctor’s bag. "I think we better git goin’ before you have *everyone* blushin’ … an’ tongue-tied," he said with a smile.

Michaela, regaining her equilibrium, explained quickly, "We thought we’d take you straight home … its not long since you were very ill … you probably need to rest …"

Doc bowed slightly. "While I’m happy to go straight out to your homestead - I’m actually quite anxious to see it …. I don’t want you to fuss Dr Mike …. I’ve spent the past three days sitting and watching the world go by …. hardly detrimental to my health. …"

Elizabeth then abruptly spoke up. "Ah … but that’s where you’re wrong Doctor Evans … if anyone knows the effects of long distance travel its me …." She turned to her daughter and son-in-law. "Come Michaela …. Sully … its time we went home …. and then we can *all* relax."

Accompanied by assertions from Doc that he was just fine, and that he would not answer if Elizabeth persisted in calling him Doctor Evans, the family merrily wended its way to the wagon for the homeward journey in the gathering twilight.

**********************

Michaela pulled Katie’s bedroom door shut and tiptoed across the landing. As was her habit, Katie had fallen asleep only a few pages into her latest story, and so Michaela had extinguished the bedside lamp, kissed her daughter goodnight and quietly left. She checked that there was enough oil in the hallway lamp to keep it going through the night and then pushed their bedroom door open.

The first thing she noticed was a dusty wooden box standing open on their bed. She realised that it was the one they’d brought back with them from Paynesville, the box in which Sully had kept the few remaining items from his past. For the last few weeks it had lived under their bed and remained closed, or at least that’s what she’d assumed. A movement over by the dresser caught her eye and she glanced across to see him standing shirtless and barefoot, his broad back to her, his skin gleaming in the firelight. He was wearing his old buckskins and was currently fastening his buckskin belt, containing his knife and tomahawk, around his waist. She watched him enthralled, wondering what was going through his mind. He finished fastening the belt and then ran his hands down over his hips and thighs, as if familiarising himself, or perhaps re-familiarising himself, with the feel of the soft deer leather. He then wriggled, settling the weight of the belt on his hips. She smiled – he reminded her of a small child playing dress-ups.

It seemed strange to her to see Sully dressed this way after so long. It was as if time had stood still, or even gone into reverse. This was how she best remembered him – out in the woods, in various caves where they had taken shelter over the years, or here, in their bedroom, before the fire – so many memories of what now seemed a long time ago. Afraid that he would turn and catch her spying on him, she took a deep breath and said softly, "Sully …. what are you doing?"

He started as if shot and spun around to face her. "Ah … I … I …" He shrugged his shoulders in embarrassment. "I thought you’d be with Katie a lot longer …"

"She fell asleep …" She walked slowly across the room towards him until she stood directly in front of him, then rested her hands on his buckskin clad hips, just below his belt. "What made you get these out again?" she asked quietly. "Did you remember something?"

He swallowed and then shook his head. "Not really," he replied sheepishly. "Truth is … its was somethin’ ya ma said."

"Mother!" exclaimed Michaela in astonishment. "I always thought she’d rather you didn’t wear buckskin …. It seemed to make her …. um …. uncomfortable …. especially when you wore it in Boston .."

Sully chuckled. "Yeah … I know …. she close ta told me as much …"

Michaela ran her hands lovingly down his hip to his muscled thigh and back again. "So why this …. now? What did mother say to prompt you to get these out?" She paused and then smiled a little seductively before adding, "Not that I mind …. this is how you looked when I fell in love with you …."

He fixed his blue eyes on her beautiful face. "It is huh?" he murmured softly.

"Mmmm …. I’d never seen anyone dressed like this before …. But these weren’t just clothes …. they seemed to be a part of you …. I was just remembering all the times I’ve seen you look just like this …"

"Just like this?"

"Uh huh."

"Like when?"

"Well …. when I woke after you’d rescued me from the dog soldiers …. You were standing there in the sun …. your back to me …. I needed you right then ….. close …. holding me ….," she explained softly, lovingly. "I’d never felt like that before …. It was the very first time I really *needed* to be with you …." He raised his eyebrow quizzically. She blushed and lowered her eyes. "You know," she murmured. "*With* you …"

He drew her into his arms. "I know what ya mean," he whispered against her ear. He drew back a little and then peered down at the buckskin pants. "So you like me like this huh? I kinda like the feel of ‘em myself …. they feel right …."

Michaela smiled and nodded and then queried, "You still haven’t told me what mother said …"

He wrinkled his nose and rejoined, "I believe she said I looked different …. seemed different … without ‘em …"

"She did?" asked Michaela in surprise. "I can’t believe mother even mentioned them … normally she wouldn’t want to give you any ideas …."

"Oh …. I dunno …. Ya ma an’ me had a long talk yesterday …. out in the barn …. an’ then over lunch …. I reckon she might even be pleased I’m back …"

"Oh I don’t doubt that …. She knows you make me happy …. that I’m not whole without you …. She may be a very pragmatic person …. but she recognises those simple truths," explained Michaela unhaltingly.

Sully beamed and drew her close against his chest once more. "Did ya notice her reaction to Doc’s smooth tongue? She liked him …. an’ his flattery …. I could tell ….."

Michaela giggled. "I agree …. He certainly had her eating out of his hand in a very short space of time … I hope you don’t mind … but I told them you’d bring them both into town tomorrow …. to have lunch with me." When he smiled and nodded, she added alluringly, "Perhaps you’ll even join us …. I enjoy dining with my handsome husband …."

"How could I refuse an invitation like that," he replied, his smile broad. "I might even tease your ma a little an’ wear these …."

"It won’t be just mother who’ll be teased …. I can only imagine the faces of some of the townsfolk if you turn up in buckskin …. The ones who knew you before will be certain that you’re back …. and the new arrivals will wonder if you’ve taken leave of your senses …," chuckled Michaela, suddenly catching him unawares by unfastening his belt.

As she tossed the belt aside and then moved her hands to the buttons, he murmured, "Never could resist a little teasin’ …." He abruptly swept her up into his arms and carried her across to their bed. "Reckon I’ve had these on long enough now," he murmured seductively against her ear as he bent over her.

"Mmm … I agree …. for now," she rejoined slowly, lovingly, before reaching up to draw his mouth down to cover hers.