PART 6

Unbeknownst to Michaela, who had gone back to working on her patient files in the lamplight, Sully quietly followed Brian up the stairs and then returned a few minutes later with the quilt from their bed and one of Dr Quinn’s leather-covered journals. Without disturbing Michaela, he walked lightly across to the hearth and proceeded to move the stools away from in front of the fire and to spread the quilt on the floor. Next he stoked the fire, banking it up so that it would last for some time, and then he quietly moved around the homestead’s ground floor extinguishing the lamps, starting at those between the front windows and moving ever so slowly and quietly around the perimeter, towards Michaela in the opposite corner. Finally, the only lamps still alight were the one on the table between the wingback chairs and the one over Michaela’s desk. When he reached up as if to blow that one out, Michaela, her concentration finally broken, exclaimed, "Sully, I’m not finished yet." She suddenly looked a little bewildered when she realised that the rest of the living-room was now in shadow.

"Time to call it a night Michaela, can’t be workin’ all the time," he stated quietly but resolutely. "Ya know what they say ….. Anyway, you promised me somethin’ before supper." He was smiling now and his eyes shone when Michaela obviously realised to what he was referring and blushed. She glanced *very* briefly back at the file open on the desk and then with a radiant smile, closed it deliberately and stood to walk eagerly into her husband’s arms. He too smiled delightedly, gave her a hug and then took her hand, leading her across to the fireplace. Michaela gasped softly when she saw the quilt covering the floor and her eyes alighted on the journal he’d placed strategically on the table under the lamp. She turned to him, her eyes wide open in surprise.

"Thought maybe you’d like to share a bit more tonight," said Sully softly, in response to her unspoken question.

Her grip on his hand tightened a little and she looked into his eyes. "Are you sure you don’t mind ….. you never met my father ….," she trailed off.

"Its not just him I’m learnin’ about," he explained hesitantly. "Its you. Everythin’ ya tell me about yourself means that I know ya better, understand ya better an’ love ya more. I love the Michaela I know, but there’s a Michaela I don’ know too." His voice had gone silky soft and for a moment he looked like a small boy pleading for her understanding.

Michaela’s response was to move into his embrace to hug him tightly and sigh contentedly. "I knew there was a reason why I was sure you were the one," she said softly. "I feel the same way about you. Everything you tell me about yourself makes me love you even more." As she spoke she drew him down to sit with her on the quilt before the blazing fire, under the lamplight.

Sully sat himself behind her and drew up his knees, pulling her in to sit between them, facing the leaping flames. She leaned back into him, grasping his hands and pulling his arms around to cocoon her. They sat silently for a while, staring into the blaze, enjoying being close, feeling each other. After a while Sully reached across to the small table and brought the journal down, holding it up in front of Micheala. "I checked the dates …. this is the next one after the one we looked at last night," he said softly.

Michaela flicked through a few pages and then said quietly, "Most of this is around the time I was finishing school and then trying to get into medical college." She continued to read silently with Sully reading over her shoulder. Suddenly she said, "Listen to this Sully.

"Yet another rejection to Mike’s application for a medical college place arrived today. That makes four. The hurt in her eyes when she realised that her dream may never be fulfilled was haunting. I’m glad she did not see Elizabeth’s expression when she opened the letter. Elizabeth still believes that Mike’s dreams are fruitless; that there is no college in the land which will take her, and even if there is that she will never be able to practice as a doctor. Sometimes I find myself reluctantly agreeing with her. I know that Elizabeth is only concerned for Mike’s welfare and this prejudices her understanding of the girl’s ambition. I have been fighting with myself about the next step. If I take it I risk Elizabeth being even more angry, and yet I cannot sit by and watch as Mike’s dreams are destroyed. Tomorrow I will write to John in Philadelphia. There has been talk for a number of years about the establishment of a women’s medical college……

"I never thought about any rift I may have caused in my parents’ marriage. Father did write to John, that’s Dr Barton, and he *did* arrange for me to attend the new Women’s Medical College of Pennsylvania. Perhaps that’s why mother was so cold towards me for such a long time and why, as he grew older, father threw himself even more into his work rather than slowing down. Oh Sully, I’d hate to think that I was the cause of any problems," she lamented.

"Hey, hey, things happen for a reason Michaela," he said consolingly. "This was meant to be. If it hadn’t, you woulda never ended up here, an’ we woulda never ……" His placating was cut short by a distressed wailing from upstairs.

"That’s Katie, I’ll go see to her," said Michaela as she quickly rose and made for the stairs.

Sully watched her go and then turned to stare into the fire, wondering about what they’d just read. Strangely, he found he could understand her mother. Elizabeth Quinn had moved in medical circles for many years and knew how difficult it was going to be for a woman to succeed as a doctor. And she, better that anyone, would have been aware of Michaela’s determination and stubbornness. He conceded that it must have been very difficult for her as a parent to know that her daughter was probably setting herself up for years of heartache and disappointment. He’d seen enough in Boston to know that Michaela’d had little chance of ever being accepted as a doctor there, even amongst her own family, let alone Boston society. One day he’d really like to have a long talk with Elizabeth about her daughter’s decision to head out west and about her unlikely success in a tiny town called Colorado Springs.

He swivelled back around as he heard Michaela descending the stairs once more. Katie was held close against her shoulder, wrapped securely and warmly in a blanket from her cot. The baby’s arms were wound tight around her ma’s neck and she was still hiccupping as a result of her crying. Drying tears formed a trail down her reddened cheeks. "I think someone must’ve had a bad dream," whispered Michaela lovingly, softly kissing her daughter’s cheek and rubbing her back.

Sully reached out to help Michaela settle herself once more on the floor between his legs. This time his arms came round to encircle both his wife and his daughter. Katie raised her head from her ma’s shoulder momentarily when she realised that her pa’s face was just inches from hers. One little hand came away from her ma’s neck and she reached out to run her fingers over the stubble on Sully’s chin. He could see her relax against Michaela and her eyes dropped closed. He gently kissed her cheek and then joined Michaela in the soothing stroking of their daughter’s back and shoulders.

As Michaela gradually felt Katie drift off into a deep sleep in her arms, she lowered the babe to cradle her against her breast. Sully could not resist running his fingers through her fine, pale gold, baby hair and then cupping her head in his hand.

"Do ya ever find yourself askin’ how we got so lucky Michaela?" he questioned softly against her ear.

"Mmmm….. often," she sighed. "I realised last night that I’m just about the age my father was when I was born, and he and mother had already had four others! Waiting for you and then having Katie were definitely the best two things I’ve ever done in my life, even if I waited a long time ……. almost too long." She took a deep breath and tentatively whispered, "Does it worry you that I’m a little older than you …. and that maybe our chances to have more children have passed?"

Sully gently stroked her arms and replied, "Michaela, before you came along I thought that my chances to have a family were over. Losin’ my folks an’ then Abagail an’ Hanna like I did made me think that I was meant to be alone. Even after meetin’ you I still thought that. It wasn’ til you went back to Boston an’ I realised that I couldn’ imagine my life without you in it that I *knew* we were meant to be together. I’da bin happy if it was just you, me an’ the kids always – I suddenly had a family after all those years of bein’ on my own. Havin’ Katie is an added blessin’, somethin’ I thank the spirits for every single day. An’ whether we’re lucky enough to have another baby or not I’m leavin’ up to the spirits ….. either way I couldn’ ask for more." He gently cupped her face, turning her towards him. He saw tears welling up in her eyes, threatening to overflow and he whispered, "Sometimes I can’t believe that you an’ Katie here, and Matthew, Colleen and Brian, *are* my family. Its like a dream an’ I’m scared that one day I’ll wake up."

Sully’s eyes conveyed all the emotion he was feeling, including admitting his fear of further loss augmented by the experiences in his life, and Michaela was moved more than she thought possible. Holding his gaze, she said softly, "Oh Sully, Katie and I are not going anywhere, neither are Matthew, Colleen and Brian for that matter. You and I might have waited longer than most couples to be together and to have our own child, and the four kids might grow up and move away to make lives of their own, but we’ll still all be family. I think that’s what mother’s finally realised after all this time. I’m still her daughter and I love her dearly …. I just chose to walk a different path than the one she’d chosen for me."

Sully smiled gratefully, kissed her tenderly on the cheek and then pulled his wife and daughter more firmly into his embrace.

PART 7

Katie suddenly stirred against Michaela and they both smiled as an errant thumb made its way into her mouth. Sully hugged his wife and daughter a little closer and mused, "I was thinkin’ about what we read before, in ya pa’s journal, ‘bout your ma not wantin’ you to be doctor. Must’ve bin hard on her, knowin’ that it was gonna be real hard for you."

Michaela again turned to look into his eyes.

He continued. "I was wonderin’ too how we’ll be when Katie decides what she wants to do. Like what would ya say if she said she wanted to be a doctor too?"

"I’d do everything I could to help her of course, just like I have with Colleen. I know it would be hard for her, just like it is for Colleen and was for me but I’d be thrilled if that was what she wanted to do. …….. How would you feel about it," she asked interestedly.

"Well, seein’ as how I’ve had more experience of women docs than most men, I guess I’d be able to help her too," he answered with a smile. "But Michaela, what if Katie decided to do somethin’ really different ………. like …….. like …… what if she decided to take after me …… took to wearin’ buckskins an’ wantin’ to work in surveyin’ or preservin’ the land or somethin’ ….. how would you feel then?"

Michaela’s eyes flew to his, then to Katie held securely in her arms and back up to hold his once more. "Oh Sully!!" she exclaimed mockingly. She watched his eyes narrow a little and deflect her laughter and immediately realised that he was serious. "She wouldn’t Sully ……….. would she?" she murmured wonderingly.

"Its what you did Michaela …. well maybe not the wearin’ buckskins part ……," he chuckled softly as an image of Michaela in buckskins or a man’s suit came to mind. Then he went on, "But you decided to follow in your father’s footsteps when no-one else in your family, or even friends had …… musta bin a shock for your ma."

Again Michaela looked up into his eyes. It was obvious that her mind was racing – from the past, to the future, and back again. "I guess you don’t realise these things until you become a parent," she mused. "Promise me you’ll remind me of this conversation when and if its needed in the future Sully, please……," she beseeched, with a wry smile. She leant back into him, silently thanking him for understanding her better than anyone else had ever been able. "Katie’s getting heavy." She shifted her a little in her arms. "Seems like only yesterday that she was tiny and you gave me the sling to carry her, now she’s walking and talking ….. time has a habit of flying by way too fast."

"Mmmm ….. it must be gettin’ close to midnight. Time to go up to bed," returned Sully with an ironic chuckle as he moved back from her a little and rose from the floor. "Give me Katie and I’ll put her down while you git ready for bed," he offered.

Sully was surprised to discover, when he opened their bedroom door a little later, that Michaela had extinguished all the lamps except for the one on his nightstand, and was already in bed, lying on her side with the covers pulled up to her chin. She didn’t react when he entered and closed the door and he was aware of a sharp pang of disappointment. So much for her promise before supper! She was already asleep! He sighed deeply. It was moments like these that he wished that she didn’t always try to do everything, so that she didn’t get so tired and more often had energy for some ‘holdin’. He dispiritedly undressed and, making sure he didn’t disturb her, climbed into bed to lay beside her. He lay on his back in the lamplight, listening to her even breathing, considering all that he’d learnt about his wife during the past few days. He’d really meant it when he’d said that he wanted to know her better, share with her.

He sighed again and then rolled onto his side, meaning to extinguish the still glowing lamp. But before he could do so, Michaela reached out to lightly graze his hip with her fingertips, moving them slowly and teasingly to his flat stomach as he rolled onto his back, and then upwards to his chest, where she gently ran them through his soft hair and caressed his skin.

"What was that sigh for?" she whispered, as her hand continued its loving exploration.

Stirring under her gentle ministrations, he muttered, "Thought you were asleep."

"I made you a promise ….. remember …… I always try to keep my promises," she murmured provocatively.

With a delighted smile, Sully rolled onto his side towards her, his eyes raking her smiling countenance, the lamplight accentuating the flush to her cheeks and the copper streaks in her long, silky hair. He reached out to cup her beautiful face and to lovingly run his thumb across her cheekbone. She turned her head a little to softly kiss the palm of his hand, loving his gentle touch.

Fixing her with his blue-eyed gaze, he edged towards her and gently grasped her round the waist to draw her close. It was then that he made a delightful and arousing discovery. No cotton nightgown barred his touch! He lowered the covers a little and his eyes roamed over the sight of his beautiful wife lying beside him, naked in the lamplight. Her eyes met his momentarily and she blushed before lowering them, worried that he’d think her presumptuous. Sully responded to her giving with a loving, whispered sigh, "Michaela!"

He hugged her close and began to sensuously trail his fingertips over the soft skin on her back and buttocks, all the while placing slow, gentle kisses to her bare shoulder, then her neck, her chin and finally her mouth. She gave a low moan as her mind and body reacted without restraint to his touch, to his loving. As their mouths opened and the kiss deepened, each lost themselves in the giving of pleasure to the other, unable to control their soft sighs and murmurings.

As if their passion had been simmering just below the surface ever since their kiss downstairs this afternoon, the heat between them reached boiling point quickly and urgently and their coming together was electrifying and yet enervating.

Afterwards, laying in each others arms, as their breathing and heartbeats slowed to normal, and despite an all consuming, deeply satisfied lethargy, their gentle kissing and caressing continued for a while, before both finally succumbed to sleep.

Michaela woke with a start, raising herself slightly to listen. For what? No sound could be heard but Sully’s deep and even breathing. Suddenly an owl hooted from somewhere very close, perhaps even the porch roof, and she realised what had roused her. She smiled to herself as she heard Wolf growl low in his throat at the impertinence of the night bird, daring to disturb his sleep by the front door of the homestead!

A cool breeze suddenly wafted through the partially open window and she shivered as goosebumps rose on her naked flesh. She realised that Sully had thrown back the bed-covers to his waist, uncovering *her* in the process. She pulled them up a little and then raised herself on one elbow to observe her husband, sleeping peacefully, bathed in moonlight. He was laying on his back, his arm thrust out and resting against her hip. She couldn’t resist reaching out to run her fingertips, as lightly as butterflies’ wings, over his chest. It was hard to believe that they’d been married for nearly three years. Sometimes she still felt like the blushing bride, unsure of herself in this wonderful, intimate side of marriage. And sometimes she couldn’t believe her boldness, like her impulse to surprise him as she had earlier. Sully had proved to her over and over again that he loved her, and he’d certainly welcomed her reaching out to him tonight, but it was difficult to discard a lifetime’s teachings and restrictions on propriety.

She smiled to herself as Sully unconsciously trembled in response to her gentle touch on his skin. They’d been through some hard times and some wonderful times during the years since they’d met, and she never ceased to marvel at how easily each could still arouse the other, know what each other was thinking, understand each other’s feelings, accept each other’s faults.

Images of the last few days flew swiftly through her mind – she and Sully sitting under the oak on Sunday, he so worried about her; the arrival of the desk and Sully’s interest in her family; Sully sitting on his horse with Katie perched up in front; them sitting by the fire tonight sharing their feelings and fears.

And suddenly there too was an image of her father, as though it were only yesterday since she had last seen him. What would her father think of Sully? Would they have been friends? They were so different. Or were they? Father had never been particularly enamoured of David. Certainly he had done his best to welcome the young man into the Quinn family but she had always sensed that there was some restraint on his part, for what reasons she was unsure. Would he have been the same with Sully? Or perhaps even more so? On the other hand would Sully have seen behind the forbidding mask her father assumed in the presence of his daughters’ suitors? Would he have understood the bond which existed between father and daughter?

She remembered Sully once calling her his ‘heartsong’ – many years ago, out in the woods. She felt the same. It was as if they were always meant to be together, that all the events in their lives, good and bad, had been leading them to a point when they would meet, and build a relationship which would endure all burdens that were placed upon it. A tender, knowing smile lit up her face. Yes, father would have liked Sully and Sully her father. She was sure of it. Father may have been taken aback at first (as she had been!) but he and Sully would have come to an understanding, for both of them knew her so well, understood her, loved her.

She sighed deeply, gently raised Sully’s arm so that she could sidle under it and towards him, and rested her head on his shoulder, seeking his warmth and presence. She wrapped her arms around his torso and lightly kissed his chest before closing her sleepy eyes.

As she began to drift off she was vaguely aware of Sully’s arms encircling her in a tender embrace and of his light kiss on the top of her head. Both went back to sleep, their faces reflecting their contentment.

PART 8

His arms laden with firewood, Sully kicked the front door open and strode across to the fireplace to fill the woodbox. The wind off the mountains seemed to have forgotten it was spring and was blowing in an icy winter chill. He dumped the wood in the box and then slapped his hands together making them sting as the blood started to race more warmly through them.

He glanced around the silent homestead. Michaela had already left with Katie for the clinic and soon he would also head for town – he’d promised to help Robert E today with some wagon wheels. His eyes fell on the desk in the corner. His family had never had a piece of furniture as grand, but listening to Michaela reminisce these past few days had brought back a few memories of his own.

Deep in the recesses of his mind he could recall his ma, his brother and him together - just ten short years was all the time they’d had as a family. They’d moved around so much that he could remember little of houses, furniture, rooms, toys and so forth. But he *could* remember his ma, her thick auburn hair piled high on her head, the strange way she pronounced some words, her love of books, the way she held him when he was hurt and told him everything would be alright. His brow creased and for a moment a sharp pain took his breath away and unwanted tears sprang to his eyes. It was all so long ago.

Now he’d reached the stage where he wondered whether the images he conjured up in his mind of her and his brother were real, or whether he just thought they were. Did she really have a smile that lit up her whole face? Why was it that the scent of geraniums would immediately make him think of her? He was glad that he and Michaela had named Katie for his ma, it helped keep her memory alive just a little more. The thought of Katie and Michaela made his heart pound. Would he ever reach the stage when that wouldn’t happen? He hoped not.

He turned from the fireplace to leave and his foot kicked against something on the floor, poking out from under the wingback chair. It was one of Katie’s storybooks. As he stooped to pick it up, a vivid memory of his ma came readily to mind - he sitting at her feet as she slowly rocked back and forth in her old, rough-hewn rocking chair, reading to him in her soft, lilting voice, opening up exciting worlds to him that he expected only to experience in his dreams. He smiled, closed his eyes and clutched at the memory for a moment.

He ran his hand over the cover of Katie’s book, a simple fairytale about a dragon and a princess. He and Michaela had read this book to her many times. It was one of her favourites. She could point out people and objects in the pictures and was starting to be able to name them. He hoped that she would never lose this love of books and stories and he was anxiously awaiting the time when she would be old enough to tell some of the Cheyenne stories he’d learnt from Cloud Dancing. He wanted her to know of the Cheyenne and their customs, he wanted her to understand what had happened to them as Brian did.

He tossed the book onto the dining table, pulled on his thick gloves and headed out the door for town.

Michaela drew the wagon to a halt in front of the clinic and jumped down onto the dirt road, shivering in the icy wind coming straight off the last of the snow caps. She reached up to lift a warmed-coated Katie down, warning her not to run onto the road and under a horse’s hooves or a wagon wheel. Instead, the little girl ran straight to the clinic door and waited for Michaela to unlock it. From the back of the wagon Michaela lifted out the patient files she had been working on last night and the third of her father’s journals which she had included in her load on impulse. By this time Katie was impatiently stamping her foot, eager to move inside out of the freezing wind. "Its alright sweetheart, I’ll unlock it now," Michaela informed her daughter, who gave her a beaming smile in return, unconsciously aware that she could always melt her ma’s heart with one of those. Just as Michaela turned the key in the lock of the clinic door, she was greeted by a smiling Grace on her way to the mercantile.

"Mornin’ Dr Mike, an’ Katie darlin’," she exclaimed, as she moved forward, hastily put her basket down on the clinic porch and swung her god-daughter up into her arms. Katie’s arms instantly encircled her god-mother’s neck and a wet kiss on her cheek followed. "Mmmm …. you’re all toasty warm," murmured Grace into Katie’s ear as she held her close.

Michaela was watching this exchange proudly. She was thrilled at the bond which had gradually grown between her daughter and her ‘Aunty’ Grace and had been told by Sully that Katie had played an important part in Grace coming to terms with her son Anthony’s recent death.

Grace’s eyes met Michaela’s and they shone with a light that Michaela had not seen for a long time. "Hope you realise how lucky you are Dr Mike," she said softly, as she placed Katie back on her feet on the porch boards.

"That’s what Sully and I were saying last night Grace …. and yes ….. we *both* do," she replied. "Are you heading across to Loren’s?" she asked, noting the shopping basket at her feet.

"Yeah, sure am ….. I got a hankerin’ for candy …. Aint never bin one to eat it much before ….. but just lately ….." She shrugged her shoulders in puzzlement and laughed self-consciously. "Do ya want me to git you anythin’ while I’m there Dr Mike?"

"Uh …. um …. well, if you don’t mind I need some dark blue thread for some mending I’m doing and we need some peas and onions for supper tonight," she replied hesitantly.

"Sure Dr Mike, I’ll drop ‘em back to ya soon."

Michaela watched as Grace strode confidently across the street to Loren’s. This was an entirely different Grace to the one they had all been so worried about only a few short weeks ago. A sharp tug on her coat reminded her that mother and daughter were still standing out in the cold. "Alright Katie," she laughed, as she turned and headed into the clinic, her tiny daughter by her side.

A short while later Michaela opened the door to a knock and Grace stepped inside. "Got those things ya wanted Dr Mike," she said in a muffled voice, as she happily munched on a mouthful of soft candy. In her hand was a large brown paper bag of assorted sweets.

Michaela tried desperately to hide her mirth as her friend happily chewed, occasionally licking the stickiness from her lips, reminiscent of a young, sweet-toothed Brian. "Here’s the thread, peas, onions … just like ya wanted," she said as she produced them from the depths of her shopping basket. She glanced up in time to see the amusement in Michaela’s face, but happily misinterpreted its meaning. "You’re lookin’ much happier than ya were a few days ago, Dr Mike," she remarked. "Fact is, some of us were getting’ a little worried about ya, we were missin’ ya smile. Seems to me them presents from ya ma made a lotta difference."

Michaela sobered at Grace’s concern for her. "You’re right Grace, they did make a big difference. Here, will you sit with me for a minute? Have you got the time?"

"Sure, Annie can look after thin’s for a little longer." She sat herself across from Michaela who opened her mouth to speak but did not get the opportunity. "When I said ya was lucky before … I didn’t just mean about havin’ Katie. I meant ya got family. That’s real important. Dr Mike," Grace said with sincerity. "Me an’ Robert E … we got each other," she lowered her eyes and her brow creased for a moment, remembering the jeopardy that relationship had been placed in so recently. "But that’s all we got. You’ve got ya family in Boston, the kids … Sully ….. an’ Katie here." She looked wistfully across at Katie playing with her toys in a corner of the clinic. "That’s all so special. Seein’ ya git that desk all the way from Boston an’ you so pleased about it ….. that was real special too."

Michaela nodded in agreement with Grace’s observations. "I’ve come to believe exactly that over the past few days Grace. Receiving my mother’s gift has brought back such dear memories. You see the anniversary of my father’s death has just passed, and now I realise that I was focussing on the wrong things. Its not his death I should be dwelling on ……. its his life! My wonderful memories of a very special man." she said in awe, as if articulating a thought which had been forming in her mind for some time. She too dropped her head, afraid to let Grace see the tears in her eyes.

But Grace knew. She stood and came around the desk to place her arms around Michaela’s shoulders. "Its alright Dr Mike …. I know exactly how ya feelin’," she said softly.

Michaela looked up at her in self-conscious dismay. "I’m sorry Grace, how insensitive of me, bemoaning the loss of my father years past, when you lost Anthony such a short time ago."

"Now don’ you go feelin’ like that Dr Mike. Robert E an’ some of your family made me realise that ya shouldn’t try to forget, or shut it out. It happened. An’ I got a lotta memories of Anthony to hold on to. We only had ‘im a short while, but I gotta lot to remember. Just like you with ya pa ….. an’ Miss Marjorie." She spoke the last hesitantly. She had never really seen Michaela’s reaction to her sister’s death. She guessed that any mourning had been done in private and yet she also wondered if her friend had ever allowed herself to grieve.

"I think that’s why father’s anniversary has hit me so much harder this year," remarked Michaela in a tearful whisper. "For most of our lives Marjorie resented my existence and then we at last had a chance to be close … to be sisters ….. and I lost her. I wonder why God did that? Took her away when we were finally becoming friends."

Grace held her friend a little tighter. "We’ll never understand God’s ways Dr Mike …. but we gotta accept ‘em ….. know there’s a reason for everythin’ He does …… I gotta accept that He gave Anthony to us so we could love ‘im, make his short time on earth a little better, a little happier. I still cry for him, but then I close my eyes an’ think about all the happy times with him too, the love he brought to Robert E and me. You gotta do the same with ya pa …. an’ ya sister."

Michaela grasped Grace’s hand and held it tightly. "Its taken me much longer to realise that Grace than it did you. I envy your wisdom. The last few days have given me a chance to think about a lot of things, to relive old memories and yes, to realise how lucky I am."

Grace gave her friend a quick hug and then returned to her seat opposite Michaela. There was silence for a moment as she immediately delved her hand into the bag of candy and then inserted a large piece of fresh liquorice into her mouth. Seeing the look of surprise on her friend’s face, she offered the bag to Michaela who shook her head in the negative. "It’s a little early in the day for candy for me Grace. Aren’t you worried about spoiling your appetite?"

"Truth is I aint bin feelin’ much like eatin’ lately ….. ‘cept the candy of course. Its funny ….. things I bin eatin’ and servin’ to my customers for years make my stomach flip over, like my meatloaf. I’ve taken to askin’ Annie to serve it when someone orders it cos I’m worried the customer could end up wearin’ it ….. or somethin’ else," she grinned ruefully.

Michaela smiled at Grace’s confusion and then asked with veiled concern, "Has anything else been worrying you lately Grace? How have you been sleeping?"

Grace chuckled, "I’ve bin sleepin’ just fine Dr Mike. Fact is, sometimes I git home from the café an’ I’m too tired to even undo the laces on my boots. Robert E’s taken to comin’ in an’ findin’ me sound asleep, still in all my clothes an’ no supper on the table. Poor man …. he’s probably wonderin’ about this woman he married. Guess my eatin’ all this candy an’ then not eatin’ proper meals has got a lot to do with it." As she spoke she glanced up at the clinic clock. "Oh lordy …. will ya look at the time …. an’ I gotta work on gettin’ ready for my lunch customers." She gathered up her bag of candy and her shopping basket and headed for the door. "It was nice talkin’ to ya Dr Mike," she called hurriedly as she threw open the clinic door and scurried towards the café.

Michaela couldn’t contain her laughter. Then she closed her eyes and lifted her face to the heavens, sending a fervent prayer that what she suspected about her dear friend was indeed the case.

PART 9

Sully knocked and entered the clinic a little after four to discover Michaela at her desk, bent over one of her father’s journals. She looked up at him in surprise. "Sully! Is it that time already?" she asked in a flurry. "I lost track of time … and I haven’t finished these files." She indicated a small pile of paperwork on the corner of her desk.

"Mmmm … so I see. What ya readin’?" he asked with a smile, having already recognised one of Dr Quinn’s journals.

She blushed, like a small child caught out in some mischief. "Umm … I started to read this and the time got away from me," she said apologetically, holding the journal up so that Sully could clearly discern her father’s distinctive handwriting.

She saw Sully’s indulgent smile and her blush renewed. "I’m so glad mother sent me this one Sully ….. I’m sure I know why she did …. but I must admit I’m a little surprised. Still ….," her voice trailed off.

Sully’s brow creased in puzzlement, prompting Michaela to continue. "I’ll tell you why later … after we get home," she said mysteriously and then changed the subject. "But there are other interesting things in this one too. Like … like …. well, even that long ago father was worried about Marjorie and Everett. They hadn’t been married very long and yet he was concerned about Everett’s attitude towards Marjorie and their marriage. He even said that he was concerned that Everett wasn’t taking marriage seriously, that he was still …. um …. um …. ."

"Sowin’ his wild oats?" finished Sully.

"Uh …. yes. And he’s written that Marjorie was so involved in her Boston parties that she didn’t notice."

"That’s probably the case. Lucky we don’ have those here so you can keep your eye on me," chuckled Sully.

"Oh Sully, don’t be silly …. you’re about as alike to Everett as …. as ….. a …. a mountain to a marshmallow," she finished with a rush and a giggle.

"Well just you remember that wife," he rejoined sternly, but with a twinkle in his eye.

"Every day," she whispered with sincerity. Her eyes dropped back to the desktop and her father’s journal. "Oh and I did come across a very interesting note about a patient …. What does this remind you of Sully?" She flicked through the pages, located the notation she wanted and began to read.

"A baffling case today. Thomas asked me if I would examine his grandson."

She broke off to explain, "Thomas was our gardener. He eluded his owner and the authorities in Georgia and came north sometime in the fifties. He worked with us for a long time. Died not long after father." She returned to her father’s notes.

"Thomas had to carry Samuel in, too weak to walk. He has a high fever, and the joints in his arms and legs are swollen and very painful. Seems these symptoms are intermittent and return in varying degrees. Upon examination, I am certain that his spleen is slightly enlarged and the weakness in his arms and legs is of concern. Administered laudanum for the pain but other than that was able to do very little. Was unable to have him admitted to any hospital. Thomas will return with him tomorrow. Have never seen this particular combination of symptoms before. Will check with my colleagues on the morrow, before seeing Samuel again if possible."

Michaela finished and looked up at Sully expectantly.

He frowned, certain that he should make a connection but was puzzled. Suddenly it dawned on him. "Anthony!" he exclaimed. "You had to take out his spleen, fevers, pain and weakness. That’s it aint it?"

"It certainly sounds like it. I kept on reading for a while, hoping that father would mention more about Samuel, but there’s nothing, well not in this journal anyway. I’ll be certain to check the others as soon as they arrive." Her medical instincts had been aroused and her eyes shone as if she was about to make a great discovery.

"Don’ git ya hopes up Michaela. If all them doctors you wired over the time Anthony was sick couldn’ come up with an answer I doubt that ya father’s journal will, specially when they were written so long ago."

Her face fell for a moment and than she smiled at his wisdom. "I suppose you’re right, but at least I know now that Anthony’s wasn’t an isolated case. Maybe in time we will know more about this particular illness and discover a way to treat it."

Sully smiled proudly at her determination. "I wouldn’ be surprised if you do just that," he said as he grasped her hand and drew her to her feet. "But now its time to head for home. Where are Brian an’ Katie?"

Sully was a little surprised when Michaela didn’t protest even a little about being taken away from her unfinished paperwork. In fact she almost eagerly closed the journal, tidied the pile of patient files and reached for her coat hanging on the hook behind the door. She at last replied, "They’re at Grace’s. We can collect them on the way." She bent to pick up her medical bag, into which she dropped the journal, withdrew the clinic door key from her skirt pocket and almost bustled Sully out the door.

This morning’s icy wind had now dropped completely and, though the air still had a little iciness to it, the ride home was delightful - the sun was shining brightly and the birds were beginning to roost for the night, squabbling amongst the newly sprouting tree branches. Katie kept them all amused with her attempts to emulate Grace, who had obviously been singing to her all afternoon. The little girl’s tune was unrecognisable and her ma and pa and brother spent most of the journey in fits of laughter but that didn’t seem to worry her. She was oblivious to the reasons for their gay banter, which when it threatened to drown out her song, she demanded stop. Such demands only made them chuckle more and she became a little indignant, however a few tickles in the right places from her pa restored her good humour.

At home, as he deposited a number of packages on the dining table, Sully was surprised to hear Michaela ask their son, "Brian, would you mind looking after Katie for just a little while ….. I’d like to talk to Sully ….. we won’t be very long, thought we’d take a short walk."

Brian nodded good-naturedly. "Course ma. I wanted to finish my homework. I can do that at the desk while Katie plays with her toys. Alright?"

Michaela gave him a quick hug, kissed the top of his head (realising that he was getting so tall that she wouldn’t be able to do that much longer) and reached for the blanket off the rocker in the corner of the living-room. She reiterated, "We won’t be long ….."

Sully watched this exchange and Michaela’s collection of the blanket from the rocker with surprise. What could she be up to now?

Not even asking him to accompany her, she grasped his hand and tugged him towards the front door. As they passed the dining table she also picked up her medical bag. "Come on … won’t be long and the sun’ll set. We need some daylight," she said secretively. Sully glanced back at an amused Brian, his eyebrows raised in surprise and shrugged his shoulders. Never one to miss an opportunity to spend some time alone with his wife, he allowed himself to follow meekly behind her.

Once outside, and still holding Sully’s hand firmly, she descended the front steps and turned left. By this time Sully was feeling somewhat bemused. He was learning a lot about his wife these past few days! Only a few yards along she turned left once more and led him up the steep, grass-covered rise behind the homestead. By the time they reached the top, both were panting a little at the exertion and Sully was eyeing his wife in puzzlement. "Michaela?" he inquired softly.

She looked at him with a smile that melted his heart, and then her gaze swept over the magnificent vista of mountains, woods, fields and rooftop before them. "Isn’t it beautiful Sully? ….. Like no other place on earth," she whispered solemnly. She turned back to gaze at him once more, all the while gently caressing the palm of his hand and then slowly drawing him towards her to hug him tightly. "Can we sit here for a while?" she whispered into his ear, knowing what his answer would be. She moved away from him long enough to unfold the colourful indian blanket and to spread it on the ground and then once again took his hand and drew him down to sit close beside her. Each grasped a corner of the blanket and pulled it around their shoulders, huddled against the cold, still, dusk air.

They sat looking out over the world that had come to mean so much to them - Pike’s Peak in the far distance where both had faced difficulties and triumphs on separate occasions; the woods where they had survived life-threatening incidents together and apart more than once, where they had joyously loved and pleasured each other beyond anticipation; the fields where they had flown kites, played baseball with the children, raced their horses; and then to the east – Colorado Springs where they’d met, built a relationship, made lifelong friends and earned respect as worthy citizens. The rays of the fast setting sun could be seen reflecting off the bell in the church belltower, columns of grey smoke were drifting upwards into the windless skies from chimneys of homes where townspeople were preparing for a cold night, and on the still air came the occasional toll of a bell, or clatter of horse’s hooves.

"Its *home* Sully," whispered Michaela, "Where *you* are, where our family is, at least in spirit." She looked down on the roof of their homestead and then back towards town before turned slightly to face him, to gaze into his eyes. "No matter where we are or what we’re doing, this will always be home, the place where we met, where we shared, where we loved," she added candidly. She reached out to open her medical bag, from which she withdrew the last of her father’s journals. "I wanted us to read this together up here," she murmured softly.

PART 10

"I told you back at the clinic that I thought I knew why mother sent me this particular journal. I want you to know too. I’ll read this part first." She began to read softly, almost hesitant to intrude upon the peace and tranquillity.

"It is Midnight and extremely quiet. Tomorrow morning Mike begins work with me here in my practice. I will welcome her presence for I have begun to wonder if I am becoming too old to cope on my own, with the caseload and the paperwork. Mike looked so beautiful and proud at her graduation last week. I wish that the girls, other than Rebecca, had made an effort to attend. I know they resent Mike’s single-mindedness when it comes to medicine, however I was disappointed when they refused to make the journey to see their sister graduate. Elizabeth, Rebecca and I sat and watched as those twenty, dedicated women received their degrees. Mike was not aware that Elizabeth sat beside me, one hand clinging to mine and the other surreptitiously wiping the tears from her eyes. I know she still has grave reservations about Mike practicing medicine and probably many of her concerns are warranted. I too worry as to how my patients will receive the presence of a woman in the capacity of physician. Even those who have been with me for many years and know Mike well, as my daughter and assistant, may not welcome her as their doctor. Not only that – I fear the reaction of many of my ‘colleagues’ to her joining their ranks. Still, we can but go forward. I only hope that Mike has the strength to withstand what may well come."

She stopped, her eyes rising slowly from the open journal, to stare off into the distance, towards town. "It *was* difficult," she mused. "Many of father’s patients still viewed me as his assistant, questioning my diagnoses – when they reluctantly agreed to me treating them at all, asking him to re-examine them and to put forward his opinion. Even when it agreed with mine they deferred to him. As for working at the hospital!" She paused, remembering the pain, the rejection. "Father did his best to help me through it," she added quietly. "I realise now that it must have been almost as painful for him as it was for me. I can only imagine what my reaction would be if I saw people treating Colleen or Brian or Katie the way I was treated!"

Sully grasped her hands tightly in his own and said, "Michaela, I saw the way them doctors treated you in Boston an’ I saw the way the people here looked down on ya at first, just cause you’re a woman. Each time I saw it happen it felt like someone’d kicked me in the stomach. I know exactly how ya pa felt when he saw what they were doin’ to ya. Sometimes I’ve had to clench my fists, close my eyes tight an’ ask for the spirits’ help to stop me doin’ somethin’ I’d regret later an’ you’d hate."

Michaela smiled at his vehemence and the love which shone in his eyes just for her. "I know, that’s why I wanted to bring you up here … to share with you," she said softly, kissing him lightly and lovingly. She picked up the journal and flicked through a couple of pages, finally arriving at the notation she wanted. "Sully, I want *you* to read this …. please."

Sully took the journal from her hands, eyed her quizzically and then focussed on the words of his father-in-law, written many years before. For a moment he read in silence and then said with a teasing smile, "Seems ya pa wasn’ just writin’ a note this time, looks more like an essay!"

"You’ll see why," said Michaela with an answering smile. "Now read … please."

And so he began.

"I no longer believe that I am growing old – I know I am! Mike is sitting opposite me industriously completing a large pile of patient notes. I find myself wondering whether I approached the same task with such enthusiasm when I was her age. She has been working with me for just four weeks and at times I find myself experiencing difficulty in maintaining her pace. She approaches each and every task with the same earnestness and diligence, despite the fact that starting her career as a doctor has proved to be just as difficult as I (and Elizabeth) anticipated. She remains undaunted. I am certain that the callous remarks and attitudes of many of my patients and our so-called colleagues hurt her deeply and yet she maintains a poise and a spirit I can but admire.

For the moment I am glad that David has decided to practice in New York."

Sully paused here and turned to face Michaela. His brow creased and he waited for her to say something.

All she said was, "Its alright … please …. go on."

His heart was beating a little faster now, however he continued as she had requested.

"Mike has not been forthcoming as to the reasons for such a move or its possible duration, however for the moment I think it opportune that she approach the world and her medical career as a single, independent woman – although Elizabeth is in total opposition to this theory, believing that marrying David will instantly dispel Mike’s ambitions to continue in medicine.

I watch her now, bent over her paperwork and find myself wishing that she had been our firstborn. Then I would have had fifteen more years to work with her, to support her in her endeavours to be accepted into the medical fraternity. And then of course I realise that fifteen years ago there would have been very little hope of her ever attending a medical college - The Pennsylvania Women’s Medical College did not exist and the traditional colleges would not have accepted female medical students. As it is, she is a fully qualified doctor and I have just a few more years to share with her."

Michaela sighed, slid her arm through the crook of Sully’s elbow and laid her head on his shoulder.

He laid the journal down momentarily so that he could brush away the wisps of hair which had fallen forward over her face, and raise her hand to his lips for a comforting kiss. Deciding that the way they were sitting, side by side, was not ideal, he drew up his knees and motioned for her to sit between them. She sidled across and he wrapped his arms around her before once again taking up the journal.

"Today I finally realised that Mike will not be able to succeed on her own. I am not sure that she has as yet also come to that realisation, however today’s interview with the Hospital Board must have brought it nearer to her consciousness. Throughout the interview, only I was aware, because I know her so well, of her beautiful eyes shining just a little too brightly, of the pink spots spreading across her cheekbones, of her hands clenched tightly by her sides. Only I was aware of her anguish as they belittled her, disregarded her qualifications and ridiculed her ambitions. I can only speculate how much further they might have gone if I had not been present. I was able to offer her little solace, except to support her and assure her that she *is* a competent physician, that *they* are the fools for not recognising that."

Michaela interrupted Sully’s reading, "I remember that day," she said quietly and soulfully, "As vividly as if it were yesterday. The arrogance of the Board members, the way they wouldn’t look me in the eye. You may think that Jake and Loren resented me when I arrived here. That was nothing compared to trying to find my feet in Boston."

Sully hugged her close, feeling her pain.

She turned to look at him and with a grateful smile said, "Its alright Sully. It was a long time ago and father was there to reassure me. He was right, I hadn’t realised then that I needed someone ‘in my corner’ to support me. In fact it took me many years, even after he’d gone, to finally accept that conclusion." She smiled again, her eyes filled with love for this man who held her so securely in his arms. "Will you read the rest of father’s words …. I think we both need to hear them."

He nodded in assent. As she turned once more to nestle into his embrace, he rested his chin lightly on her shoulder and once more began to read, adopting a quiet, almost reverent tone.

"I have felt a little wistful, even melancholy this evening. I find myself pondering what will become of Mike when I am gone. I know that she believes herself to be proudly independent and not needful of human support or succour and indeed that may well be the case – for much of the time. However I also know that being alone in all things is not the way God meant us to be.

I had thought that articulating my thoughts, my prayers, as I have just done would have provided me some comfort - for it is an activity I have often recommended to patients whose true illness is not of the body, but of the spirit. However, as I reread the words I have written, my melancholia does not recede. And so I again pray to God - that He will protect Mike and be her guide, no matter what twists and turns her life may take……"

Sully barely managed the last words. There was a lump in his throat that threatened to choke him and his eyes had blurred with unshed tears. Unable to see Michaela’s face, but aware of her stillness and silence, he placed the journal down on the blanket and hugged her close, gently rocking her back and forth, caressing her arms and hands, conveying his love the best way he knew how.

Eventually she turned in his arms to gaze into his eyes, her own gleaming with tears. But what surprised Sully was that her face was lit up with joy, not sorrow as he had expected, her beaming smile could have lit up a room and her skin was flushed with emotion. She reached out to cup his face gently with her hands and then she whispered sincerely, "Don’t you see Sully …… Father’s prayers *were* answered. *You* are all those things he wanted for me …. *You* provide all those things he knew I needed. *You* have shown me a life I never dreamt of, a love I didn’t know was possible, a sense of belonging that I’ve never felt anywhere else …. even when father was alive…." With her thumbs, she tenderly wiped away the tears which were coursing down Sully’s cheeks and then she leant in to him, to kiss him with a passion which was somehow different to anything either had ever felt before. And when the kiss ended, she encircled his neck and shoulders and held him close, cradling him against her softness.

At last Sully broke the silence, "I feel like I know ya pa now, not just know *about* him, but know *him*," he said quietly.

She smiled and then asked, "And do you like him?"

"Mmmm, I reckon. We got lovin’ you in common. Do ya think he’da liked me?"

"Definitely," she replied with conviction. "Because you both understand me and love me."

She settled back into his arms, truly content for the first time in many days. "I’m glad mother chose to send this particular journal," she said quietly. "It means that she’s finally come to terms with my life here, with my loving you, that she accepts the choices I’ve made ……."

Her musings were halted by the poignant sound of an indian flute The music was floating on the breeze, upwards from the homestead, the lilting melody one Brian often played for Katie, but here in this setting it was almost mystical, surreal.

Simultaneously, their eyes met and their faces lit up with joy and anticipation.

"Better be gittin’ back to the kids huh?" Sully said. "Must be about time for supper. Who’s cookin’ tonight wife?" he chuckled as he drew her to her feet.

"I’ve got a good mind to hand it over to you," she teased, as she grasped his hand and they began to scurry and slide down the grass-covered slope toward the lights of home.

THE END