This is apart of this site that is a tribute to the hottest kewlest person who was in Starwars episode one... Darth Maul, the one and only!!!.
Ray Park plays the 'so evil he's attactive' character Darth Maul, the horn crowned, and the red and black tatooed faced hottie.
Maul is a Sith, one of the two. He is apprentice to Darth Sidious who is an old geezer person thing. Darth Maul is clearly the cooler one.
The role requires much physical strength and karate expertice, which makes Ray Park so perfect cuz of his ability. We're talking FIVE feet NINE inches of muscle.... (Yo! Krusty!! Don't drool like that!! Oh wait!... Waaaaiiitt!! Dinnae faint!! Oh Man!! Somebody get a doctor, I'm talkin' to all these nice peeps over here) Anywayz.....
He is well trained in the Jedi arts, and his skill must be incredible, for he is the only one in the Jedi arts who has been known to have a double- bladed lightsaber which must take time and patience to do... Ray Park how'd ya do it??? (Dude! Krusty!! Get up of the floor man!! You're getting all slobbery!! At least faint with your mouth closed dingbat!!!.
He also has defeated the Jedi master Qui-Gon Jinn. Too bad Ugly ... I mean Obi Wan got him. Cuz who's gunna be the incredibly hot bad guy next?
I don't understand this debate of who's finer... ObiWan or Darth Maul, when Darth Maul clearly is the Freakin' hottie of the two. Girls, open your eyes please....??? (Huh Krusty? Oh that's right, she's on the floor... eww!! drooling everywhere. She's fainted with her mouth open again.)
This guy is really hot when he's fighting or even just standing there.... I think Krusty's going to be out for a while....
So while she's out, I might as well tell a story. Here's my fiction called Krusty and Darth Maul, written for Krusty, to highten her fantasies about Darth Maul.
“Come on Krusty, we gotta go! We need to meet our parents at Endor, remember?” “Yo! I’m not that dum, Jesha” “Well then, HURRY UP BUM!” They hurried to a thing looking like a transport. “Common.” Krust off said. “Are you sure this is the right transport? It looks a little funky to me.” “Of course it is. Look, I know my way around mmk?” “Sure, that’s what you said last time when we went on that ship to Tatooine and ended up on Dagobah.” “Well that waz LAST time. This is THIS time ight?” “Ah yes, who knows where we’ll end up.” “On Endor, now common.” Krusty grabs her hand and drags her into the weird looking transport. “Well now, is all the passengers on board?” “Yes, I believe all going to Coruscant is onboard.” “Then take off. We will have another pick up in space.” The transport rumbled off the ground and took to the sky.
Darth Maul stood before the transmittor waiting for his master’s order. “Ahh, Darth Maul.” Sidious’s gravely voice sounded. “Yes my master?” Darth Maul’s voice sounded ‘windy’ next to his. “Come to Corascant, I need to see you personally. In the meantime, try to get a tracing on Queen Amidala’s private ship. I want her captured.” “It shall be done, my master.” “Good.”
"Krust off, this don’t look like our cabin.” “Itz gotta be!” “Then where’s Fluffy?” “I dunno..... Where IS Fluffy? FLUFFY!!!” “STOP SHOUTING!! We’re obviously in the wrong plane!” “No no, just the wrong cabin. We HAVE to be on the right plane.” Jesha shook her head and glared. “Itz not my fault we can’t find the right cabin!” “I’m not going on any more vacations with you.” “Don’t say that! Hurts my feelings...*sniff* ” “Then let me choose the transport next time?” “But I wanna” “You are a wierdo.” “You’re a freakin freak! Now I’m gunna take a look around.” “DON’T GET LOST.” “HEY! FreakiN” Krusty said walking out the door thang. “I’m coming too!” Jesha shouted and hurried after her.
The Sith space craft docked with the transport and Darth Maul stepped onto the ship. One touring woman took one look at him and fainted. Darth Maul grinned snidely and continued down the hall.
Krust Off and Jesha continued down the hall. “Hold on Krusty, my shoe’s untied.” “Ight, but hurry up.” She said and focused her eyes straight ahead. She saw a lady look down the hall, freeze and faint. Then it seemed like (in Krusty’s opinion) a freakin hottie walked down the hall with long strides and his black cape billowing around him. “HOLY....... WOAH!!! JESHA!! LOOK ITZ A FREAKIN HOTTIE!!” “What Krusty???” she said looking up, but Darth Maul had already went down the hall. “I don’t see no freakin hottie.” “Dang it. He’s right there!” “No he aint! Now come on this way.” Jesha said leading her in the opposite direction. Yet Krusty slipped away and ran down the hall and went the the way the hottie went. She looked down the hall and saw the black cape. She silently followed him into a deserted hall.
Darth Maul strode quickly on and the force told him that a girl was following him. He purposely took out a little gadget and threw it on the ground. He then pretended to continue. Krust off saw it and picked it up. Darth Maul then stopped and turned. Krusty stopped a little too short and almost fell over.She gave him sheepish grin. He looked at her with his red rimmed gold eyes making her stomack do flip flops. “Hi!” She said brightly. Darth Maul held out his hand for the thing he purposely dropped. Krusty’s heart did a flip and she handed it to him. He then turned and strode off. Krusty followed as quickly as she could. He rounded a corner. Krusty followed then stopped when he was no where to be found. “Freakin!” she said and sighed. She was in love. She races back and found Jesha. “I’m in Love!!” “Oh with who?” “Oh the HOTTEST HOTTIE I saw.” “Please. Ok ok, what did he look like?” “He waz so HOT I mean he had yellow eyes, and a black and red face... he was FREAKIN HOT!!” Jesha blinks and then looks at her. “You’ve finally touched the deep end.” “Whatz that mean?” Krusty asked when she started walking. “Never Mind. Krusty, look at that planet over there.” “Ewww it’s nasty lookin!” “It’s Coruscant, YOU TOOK US TO THE WRONG PLACE AGAIN!!” “Well freek of the week! I’m going to go try to talk to hottie again... cuz he don’t yell at me.” Jesha rolls her eyes. Krusty walked to the cabin Darth Maul was supposedly staying in and walked in.
Darth Maul looked up and grabbed his lightsabre when the door opened. He turned it on and stared at the girl who had walked in. Sighing he turned it off again.
“WOAH!! FREAKIN!! Turn that Thang off man!!” She was relieved when he turned it off again. “So you from around here?” There was no answer. Darth Maul smirked at her silently from his chair, watching her with his eyes. His hood was off, as was his cape, revealing his crown of horns. “You on vacation?” she asked again. He shook his head. “Business?” He nodded. “Where you off too?” He grinned and pointed out a window at Coruscant. “Scuse me for a sec.” She went outside a minute. She then yelled “THIS GUY’S FREAKIN HOT!!” A man stared at her as if she needed to be locked up quickly. She grins sheepishly at him and grabs something to hold on to then went inside. She saw Darth Maul standing up. She accidently threw the thing she had grabbed to hold on to at him on reflex of his hotness standing up, and watched in horror as it sailed at him. Before she knew it he had whipped out the light sabre and cut it to peices before it hit him, and he looked at her with the same supreme smirk. “Oh that was hot.” she muttered. Darth Maul then put the cloak around his shoulders and hooded his head. “You goin?” He nodded and started towards the door. “Wait a sec who are ya?” He stopped and looked into her eyes. He was so close she could have reached out and touched him. “Darth Maul.” he said with his ‘windy’ voice. He then left the room.
“Hez SO HOT!!” she yelled in his room and then bolted out looking for Jesha. She found her. “What’s up with you Krusty, you look like you’ve just ran half a ship.” “COMMON!!” she said dragging her to the nearest exit. “Stand right there. Don’t look at anything until I say so!” Krusty ordered then looked for Darth Maul. She saw his dark shape coming toward them.”Ok, look at that TOTAL HOTTIE!!” Jesha looked. Darth Maul walked by her and then turned and looked at Krusty. They held eye contact. To Krusty, everything else was oblivious. “Who are you?” he asked. “Krust Off.” he nodded at her and then turned, sweeping through the exit and entering his Sith ship. “FREAKIN FREAK OF A FREAK! HEZ HOT!!” “Who is He????” Jesha asked. “Hez Mr. Maul aka Hottie!!” “You’re Obsezzed!!” “You ARE TOO!!” “BUM!!” “FREAKIN!!” “DUDE!! YOU’RE TOO SPAZZY!!” “UGLY!!” “LOOK WHO’S TALKIN!!” Darth Maul came out of his ship and started toward them. He stopped just inside the door and pressed a few command buttons. He then patted Krust’s shoulder and then turned and re-entered his ship. “How HOT!!” she sighed and fell backwards. Jesha dived to catch her and did. *sort of* for Darth Maul had just stepped outside his ship and looked in there direction and glared at Jesha. She looked alarmed and dropped Krusty. She quickly looked down at Krusty and then sauntered off whistling. Darth Maul then went back inside his ship and took off for Coruscant.
Well I hoped you liked it. Krusty helped me write it, by putting in her dialogue. Dang It!! Krusty slept through my story. Scuze me all, I gotta figure out how to wake her up. (Look Krusty, you're really great and fun and my friend and all but you gotta get up now... please? You missed your story..... oh... uhh oops.. um BYE!!
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That Means BYE all.... Go back to the Home Page, or Krusty's page... or visit the links up there.. just Get out of here... go on.. move it.. Get going.... GIT!!!
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