Todays little diddy comes to us from one of our longest oldest and best friends, B Holmes. I must tell you frankly, the first time I read this I was crying. I was laughing so hard that tears were emitting from my face. It was great. It is a pleasure to present to you...
It has for some time been suspected that the curious *pronom* which master fighter pilot and Musketeer Ric Olie carries on his person at all times is not his own. Strangely, you might say, inexplicably, even a little eerily, little-to-nothing was known about this hero-for-our-times until the release of the movie Star Wars, Episode I: The Phantom Menace, early last May. Then the adulation began pouring in. Songs were written; campaigns begun; lives converted. our cultural landscape was changed forever. If Ric Olie didn't give us a shimmering vision of Camelot, he did at least show us, briefly, the colors of the future -- colors that
would make Joan Miro's *Landscape*, for instance, sick with envy. But we digress. It would appear that master Olie has a skeleton in the closet: one which modesty -- or embarrassment -- prevents him from bringing forth into the bright light of public scrutiny. But buckling recently under increasing pressure from various anti-pseudonym, anti-acronym groups, including the famed Society Against Goofy Acronyms, he has admitted frankly that Ric is not, in fact, his actual name. And yet, in how many other instances has he appeared frank and open? His name has become a byword for candidness. And if this chary skeleton exists, well then, how
many others? Has it come time to topple yet another of the idols of our iconographic landscape? Ladies and gentleman of the jury, before throwing the first stone, peruse you this heretofore unpublished dossier, consisting of sixteen names which may or may not have possible relevance in relation to the subject of our inquiry, and ask yourselves one question: would I, ______ carrier of the Olie name, indomitable flame, servant of the queen and the Almighty Force alone, allow myself the humility and the stigma that such a name indubitably bears, for life? I daresay you would not.
Enjoy yourselves, if you can.