Those
who saw the film Enigma
last year may have asked whether the Germans changed their
codes when an Enigma machine was found missing. Presumably
to answer that question, we now have All the Queen's
Men, directed by Sefan Ruzowitsky. At the beginning
of the film, titles tell us that Puff Platoons, composed of
men dressed as women, were parachuted into Germany to carry
out various missions. When the film begins, Steven O'Rourke
(played by Matt LeBlanc), an American intelligence officer,
has just captured an Enigma machine. He places the machine
in a German tank and drives to the British lines, where an
arrogant officer quotes a book located in his pocket that
all enemy nonmilitary objects are to be destroyed. O'Rourke
valiantly tries to stop the execution by punching the British
officer and ends up in a military prison. Then Colonel Aiken,
a British commander (played by Edward Fox), comes up with
a brilliant idea. He brings together four men to infiltrate
the Enigma factory in Berlin to steal an Enigma machine. O'Rourke,
of course, is one. His desk sergeant Archie (played by James
Cosmo), who speaks fluent German, is the second. Johnno, an
encryption expert (played by David Birkin) who boasts fluency
in twenty-several languages, is the third. The fourth is Tony
Parker, a onetime commando who is now transsexual entertainer
(played by Eddie Izzard); he also speaks fluent German. After
training the men to dress as women and the nonsoldiers to
act like soldiers, they are parachuted near Berlin, where
they hitchhike on a military truck to Berlin and then establish
contact with a spy in the national library who in turn has
them stay in her abode, the attic of the library. Soon the
four infiltrate the factory, though the transsexual provides
unexpected entertainment while the rest try to smuggle an
Enigma machine out of the factory. On several occasions, Germans
in uniform pursue the four, so there is some fistfighting
and a bit of suspense, and they do obtain an Enigma. However,
ultimately they realize that the mission was designed to fail,
so the sergeant surrenders with the machine while the remaining
three commandeer an airplane so that they can return to Britain.
Then O'Rourke provides a daring rescue of the sergeant by
flying into the control tower. But if the British were so
eager to tell the Germans that they desperately wanted to
smuggle an Enigma, what about the smuggled Enigma at the beginning
of the film? Aha! The film makes no sense at all except to
titter (pun not intended?) at military officers clumsily trying
to act like women and chase scenes with Germans who seem to
be moonwalking. Alas, where is Colonel Klink when we need
him? MH
I
want to comment on this film
